Tuesday, September 27, 2005

A bitch is in Vegas...

Hello chil'ren!

A bitch has begun to relax. Don't worry, my ass is still bitchy. This bitch has spent the day munching on various foodlikethings and catching up on daytime CNN...

Yeah, vacations are great. Tonight a bitch and my sister are taking in a show then hitting the vodka crans. No, this bitch will not be hitting the card tables. My ass may gamble, but slots and cards are not my game.

Anyhoo, a bitch is concerned about Wolf Blitzer. Since a bitch has a 9a-5p job, my ass has never seen Wolfie's (we are so close it pisses others off) new show. The Situation Room is...well...bizarre.

Why would the producers of CNN put poor Wolfie in that kind of circus environment? Jesus to Gawd, the man is too small to stand in front of three huge flat-screen monstrosities and deliver the news. Those giant screens aren't even showing video related to what he's talking about. It's like a televised breakdown!

A bitch was so shocked by Wolfie's new set that it took three seconds for me to zero in on what the fuck he was talking about. The video was of some National Guard activity, but Wolfie was chatting on and on about Mike Brown...you know, that FEMA fuck-tool...and his soon to take place testimony before congress.

But wait! Could it be...? Could it be BREAKING NEWS???

Drama! Cue to graphics! Now cue the creepy CNN Breaking News music! Yes!!

Dazed and miserable, Wolfie introduced CNN's live footage of Michael Brown testifying before congress.

How much money did it take to buy Michael Brown's soul...?
This motherfucker is a trip! What the fuck? First, he didn't look nearly shitty enough...his ass was clearly well fed and bathed and a bitch just wanted to reach through the fantabulous flat screen television in our hotel room (got an upgrade...cool, huh) and smack the living shit out of him.

Fucker. YOU CORRUPT ASSED MOTHERFUCKER!

This shit redefined the blame game.

Not only does Michael Brown not take any responsibility for his complete inability to do his job...not only does Michael Brown not see the glaring incompetence of his never having alerted congress to the inadequate funding FEMA received that resulted in their never having addressed problems revealed by past hurricanes....no, this complete shit covered asshole sees no problem with the fact that he's still on the government payroll...as a fucking consultant!

Lawd help me!

It gets better...

Michael Brown to congress..."Put yourself in my place. I was just a coordinator. I'm a patsy! I was sent back to D.C. because I failed to see how disorganized New Orleans was. What do you want from me? Do you want me to be a Super Hero?"

This bitch was just about to pass out from that shit when something dawned on me...if Michael Brown is on the tax-payer doll, and a bitch is a tax payer, doesn't that mean that a bitch is the one paying his ass to "consult"?

Motherfuckers!

Fine. Consult on this, asshole! A bitch would like Michael Brown to consult the federal government on how to avoid hiring complete cronies like himself! This bitch is requesting a detailed report on how Michael was hired with no experience, how much money he had to raise for W'04 to qualify for this kind of payoff and how he oppressed actual workers in order to keep his cushy cronie appointment!

Then, this fucking tax payer would like to have one hour with Michael Brown...alone.

That's not a threat...just a request from his employer...this tax paying AngryBlackBitch.

Give a bitch an hour and you can bet your motherfucking life Michael Brown would walk away with a strong understanding of what human suffering by the hands of an unfeeling relentless bitch is all about!

Or you could just take his corrupt ass off the federal payroll.

Motherfuckers.

A bitch may be on vacation but my eye is still on The Man...

See you in San Fran...

2 comments:

Michele in Michigan said...

You got THAT shit right. And then that mutant fuck Brown tried to blame it on the meeeee-deee-yuh. Asshat.

Jamie said...

I think an hour with you is exactly what we taxpayers should be shouting for!

Even on vacation, you have a better understanding of things than the shrub, who is also getting paid by us!