Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Topicals...

A bitch is still riding a wave of extreme vanity over my fan club! My ass confirmed that it is a private club and this bitch finds the “invitation only” element even more ego inflating!

Last night was a wee bit hectic. My ass rushed home to feed the hounds and then headed to Clayton for what I sincerely hope is the last tired assed black woman’s group meeting this bitch will ever have to attend.

Needless to say a bitch needed a cocktail. Between the drive through Clayton and the 5-minute discussion of black hair care with a woman with a tore up dried out relaxer (moisturize, or the love of all that is holy), this bitch seriously considered vodka without the cran or ice!

Sound judgment and a genuine love of cran won out.

2 cubes ice following by vodka and finished with cran…

Television is beyond lousy. A bitch can’t stomach reality television unless it involves murder and Bill Kurtis (Bill…call me). Last night a bitch settled on CNN, which is close to Fear Factor but not quite as bad.

Covering all the angles, my black ass…
CNN had a brief news blip on the crawl about the power washing of Mount Rushmore. It appears that America’s founding fathers and their homeboy Teddy Roosevelt were filthy! So, they got power washed at the taxpayer’s expense.

A bitch is in solidarity with my Native American brothers and sisters over the issue of the Black Hills. I simply do not accept the notion that the oppression of others is anything other than the oppression of us all.

AIM did a pretty good job of educating Americans on the bullshit going down in the Black Hills. So, a bitch was pissed off to see the power washing of Mount Rushmore featured without a discussion or even a mention of its disputed status.

Chil’ren, this is how The Man works…covet, plan, isolate, justify, oppress then seize. This bitch just wanted to “cover all the angles” and remind would be tourists that the fight to end colonial oppression ain’t over by a long shot!

Native American civil rights are a nuclear topic. This bitch remembers many a Junior High debate in which my classmates made the “what are we supposed to do, give it all back” argument. Too often, the guilt of those who benefit from oppression gets in the way of any real discussion of oppression. Even though my ancestors didn’t exactly ask to be participants in the whole westward expansion of America, a bitch feels a sense of responsibility towards those cultures American colonial growth trampled on.

When covering Mount Rushmore a reporter should cover the Black Hills. A reporter should mention the Sioux Nations. A reporter should discuss the history of the region and the varying opinions of the “monument” that was carved into sacred ground. Then, just for kicks, the fucking reported may want to mention that some taxpayers may find the cleaning of the “monument” offensive.

Just a though…since we want to cover all the angles…

And they say the labor movement is in trouble…
A bitch was amused to see the fall of a certain baseball player. Come on, y’all knew his ass was juiced! A bitch just can’t get over the multitude of ways that this cheating piece of trash has fucked himself!

The cheater lied under oath during congressional testimony and the stupid shit was outed as a steroid fiend less than a month after joining the 3000 hits club!

Fantabulous!

This bitch hasn’t been a fan of the game for quite some time. As my ass has said before…these fuckers have turned baseball into a bat wielding version of world wrestling federation. Booooring! Really, how many 37 to 17 run games of baseball can people endure before they say fuck it and go watch nude mud wrestling?

Either way, this scandal is fun and a good public relations score for the labor movement. A bitch was impressed with the player’s union and their ability to argue against a suspension. These organizers are on top of their shit! His ass should be in jail and they were able to negotiate a 10 game suspension…and they fucking challenged that as too harsh!

What do we want? Union! When do we want it? Now!

A bitch may need to steal those baseball organizers and form the United International Sisterhood of Angry Black Bitches…

8 comments:

Tiger Lilly said...

"Too often, the guilt of those who benefit from oppression gets in the way of any real discussion of oppression."

Well said Mama! Hell, that's why my black ass almost got kicked out of grad school. You can't challenge some folks "rights and heritage" when it questions the affect it had on others.

Link your fanclub!!!

shoes of peace said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lisa said...

This snarky bitch wants to know how she can get an invite to the club. Will begging work? Cash, perhaps?

I promise not to post it all over Kos even! :)

Congrats on hitting the big time!

CrankyProf said...

I'm just waiting for my ABB Commemorative tiara and special VodkaCran tumbler...

It's Me, Maven... said...

I just love "Raffi's" Clarence Thomas-esqueness, "I don't know how those steroids entered my body..." Reminded *ME* at least of Thomas'query, "Hey, who put the pubic hair on my diet coke?"

Count me in on the ABB Fanclub--but then again, isn't that what the comments section is for? :)

czysxycoly said...

You know that 'riods are the reason Mr. Bonds is MIA. Yeah, I know he has a bum knee, but he needs a year off to de-plump himself and justify his new body due to a year off from baseball and working out.

I sleep with eye shades, but they are not made of wool. I see you Mr. Bonds.

Maidink said...

I'm with you ABB on not even bothering with the MLB. After their last strike and the screwed up ALl_Star game the same year, I told baseball to kiss my ever-loving backside. Besides, the Phillies suck.

As for the Black Hills, thank you for the education. I never realized the bs our government pulled with that. A*holes.

Maidink said...

And I want in on the fanclub, too, dagnabit!!