Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Liberal bitchitude from a liberal bitch...

A bitch is stressed! Too much to do and not enough time to fucking do it!

As a result, my ass is beyond bitchy! Bitchitude to the highest power, chil’ren!

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

If a bitch is a liberal…
To clarify, a bitch is a liberal and fucking proud of it! If you read my shit and like it, then you must understand that this bitch’s opinions reflect the opinions of lots of liberals. Attempts by the right to define liberal values remind a bitch of the assholes in high school trying to tell my black ass what qualifies as “acting black” and/or “acting white”.

If a bitch is black and fucking does it…it is black!

If a bitch is black and can fucking articulate an argument and pronounce shit correctly…then motherfucking black people can articulate an argument and pronounce shit correctly!

Building on that theory…

If a bitch is saying it, then a liberal is saying it. My ass ain’t ashamed to be black and intelligent and my ass ain’t ashamed to be liberal and rational…and you can bet your ass this bitch isn’t the only rational fucking liberal out there.

So what do liberals want? Great question, chil’ren! We want many of the same things our conservative neighbors want. The problem is in the details...

Liberals want chil’ren to be educated. It doesn’t matter if you like kids or not. It doesn’t matter if you fucking have chil’ren or not. Uneducated heathens are a menace to society…that’s a fact.

We want to take it back to basics. Heathens are not running wild and getting into trouble because they need more “religion” in the schools. Don’t let some non-religious politician who was educated just fine in a non-religious school use the issue of religion to distract you from the real problem! Heathens are running wild because we have removed “morals” from the schools. You remember morals, right? Those fucking basic societal rules that almost every religion can agree on? Stop beating the shit out of each other, respect differing opinions, respect other people’s property, wash your ass and brush your teeth! Toss in some reading, writing, math and science and leave it the fuck alone. Think of education as a pot-roast…you add the ingredients that will result in a really yummy meal then LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE AND LET IT COOK, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Liberals want affordable healthcare. For some of us, that means universal healthcare. Catch that knee before it jerks! A good rule to follow is that if your ass would like a fracture to be covered you can assume your fucking neighbor would too. We want universal healthcare because it’s cheaper…fact. It is cheaper to prevent a prolonged illness than to treat a prolonged illness…fucking fact. Stop listening to economists who get off revising spreadsheets! This is fucking easy to understand…when you go to the doctor with high blood pressure it costs $$ and when you go to the emergency room with a stroke it costs $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Toss in the fact that taxpayers are fronting the $$$$$$$$$$$$$, because they let some dumbass convince them that was better than fronting $$ and you’ve got the current state of healthcare in America. A bitch doesn’t give a flying shit about a fear of big government. This bitch fears the 150,000 uninsured working poor soon-to-be-ill-as-a-motherfucker Missourians more. My ass sincerely hopes that we all can agree that 150,000 soon-to-be-ill-as-a-motherfucker Missourians who are working and will not be able to work ill-as-a-motherfucker are something we should avoid having to confront at the Schnucks grocery on a Saturday afternoon retching up the plague.

Liberals do not sit around in a circle surrounding a lit black candles calling upon Satan to produce more abortions. Doesn’t happen. Sorry, ‘cause a bitch knows some folks like the imagery. We support “planned parenthood” as a philosophy…teach abstinence, protection, prevention and fucking basic anatomy…teach it all, for the love of Gawd! Safe, legal and rare does not mean safe, legal and often. Choice, for this bitch, starts before sex. But babies are not a person’s punishment for making a poor choice…babies are not punishment at all. My ass works with young mothers who love their chil’ren and my ass works with some who treat their chil’ren like that pair of shoes your ass wishes you never bought but can’t give away. Liberals just accept the fact…and it is a fact…that people have always, do now and will continue to fuck for pleasure. We also accept the fact that “planned parenthood” takes place in plenty of religious households…otherwise my ass wouldn’t see so many 2 chil’ren having, married at 22, now 45 Catholics smiling on their way to mass. So, let’s stop bullshitting about sex ed. leading to fucking, accept the fact that people fucked before sex ed. and they fucked after sex ed. and try to come up with some options and…dare a bitch say, choices to prevent disease and unwanted pregnancies.

A bitch could go on and on, but my point has been made.

A bitch is a liberal and a liberal is a bitch. No shame in my game. You dig...?

22 comments:

rodjae said...

i am not really into blogs.. But a link to yours was sent to me by a friend. You are brillant and honest.

Lisa said...

Stands and applauds. I dig, baby. I definitely do!

Hammer said...

Once again, amazed. However, I would say that to get this shit done is going to take a lot of US-American effort. We can't do it alone! Liberals in this country need to unite. Stand with (not for, but with) the people we want to defend. Sometimes, take a back seat to the people who really need to make their voices heard. The outspoken few are simply not loud enough to change things. Let's go grab the homeless on Washington. Educate on health care, then help them get the voice to stand up for their issue (with us at their side). Does that make sense? I really hope that we activists and liberals can "support a voice" rather than "be the voice" for those who can't speak. Help others speak up!

Progressive Puritan

Sangroncito said...

This San Francisco liberal/lefty says you are right on! You say it like it is. I love your blog.

Clipgirl said...

Now if we could only force the right to read your blog, we might actually get somewhere! I love how you chose to expain how we (liberals) feel about universal health care. It's simple, it's clear, and if it doesn't make sense to a righty then they need to see your first arguement about education and get him/herself one.

Elizabeth said...

Laughin' and whoopin' and cheerin' at the same time!

BarefootCajun said...

Preach it, girl! As always, I'm cheering you on.

fahren said...

I dig. Gil Scott-Heron would be proud.

BaltimoreLenore said...

As always, a pleasure to read your posts ABB!

Dixie said...

Here's the thing - anti-liberals or conservatives or just plain heads-up-their-asses people would read this rant and not say "Whoa! She's making some excellent, excellent points! Perhaps those who share our viewpoints would do well to incorporate what this woman says in our message.". Instead they'd only say "Did you see how many times she wrote the world 'fuck'?". Excuse me. They'd say "Did you see how many times she wrote that awful 'F-word'?".

Would they say that because saying "fuck" a lot is bad? No. They'd say it because they choose to focus on the most who-gives-a-flying-shit things and they let the bigger, more important things slip on by.

Preach it, sister. What you wrote was the God's honest truth.

CrankyProf said...

Plus, Dixie, they'd ignore the ABB because she's one of those brown people. With a scary vagina!

Ain't nuthin' scarier than a vagina (who ought to be in the kitchen, bakin' some pie, getatin' and having no opinion) with a brain appended!

africamerican said...

dearest Angry...,
I like your blog.
From one liberal African American to another, what do you think of Dr Condoleezza Rice?
And, Is Oprah really going to come out on top of this Hermes mess she's gotten herself into? Shouldn't she have just let it go? A formal private letter of complaint probably would have gotten her a private Hermes show or gifts for all her glam dyke (just kiddin') friends.
And why don't Condi or Whoopi get ever invited to Oprah's parties?

africanamericanish
Washington, DC

Shark-fu said...

Glad you enjoy the blog, africanamericanish!

On Condi...a bitch is still trying to figure her out. She remind my ass of Ann Coulter, only the extreme rage is covert. Just as with Ann, there's some self hate going on there. Condi is in need of some inner work...a bitch is not holding my breath on that shit happening.

On Oprah...A bitch really does care for Oprah...suffice it to say she's got enough $$ to get away with just about anything. But my ass thinks she should either get fully militant on Hermes or let it fucking go.

As to the glam dyke reference...you holding dirt on Oprah that Stedman don't know about? Hmmm.

DUB said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DUB said...

ABB '08. Effortlessly articulated.

"Uneducated heathens are a menace to society"

Educated heathens are a menace to this "society."

Let's not forget that teaching is also a parent's duty, and that one of the most valuable lessons learned in school is simple socialization. Other people do exist, and they're not trying to tie you to an alter, they're just trying to get through the same life you are.

Sally Hemmings, er...I mean Condi Rice, is a hot mess. Remember, a white woman gettin' roughed up and possible Sudanese "intelligence" on "terrorism" are more important than genocide in her world.

Nobody's perfect (cliche but true), but I think Oprah is holding it down. Who else could get soccer moms to read Maya? In some instances she may have soul-doubt, but she doesn't sell out when chosing acting roles or which foreign countries to provide humanitarian aid.

DUB said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ding said...

dang. you are a balm of gilead, ABB.

tired of listening to some dumbass tell me black people have to stop being victims on my own blog, i come here and leave refreshed.

do it, girl!

anti-W said...

a big heyyyyy to all the Lexus SUV drivin, Sean Hannity lovin, Ann Coulter worhsipping pieces of SHIT out there...yo party SUCKS it long and hard...and the day of accountability approaches...

BTW-that coulter witch is seriously fucked up-somethin musta fucked up her Cape Cod ass in a most fierce way!

Anonymous said...

I'm black too, and i could care less if you follow what seemilngly to you is what every black political sheep follows. I just don't care about politics. but what the fuck are you angry about? are you poor? hungry? got a family you can't support? did your fuckin job go overseas? why do you want to be known as a angry black bitch? did you orgasm when hillary said yea you know what a plantation is like? must be a crazy ass plantation where there is a black secretary of state and a black supreme court justice and a black home ownership rate on the rise. but wait they're all uncle toms. nvm. side note fuck bill cosby for not continuin to sell jelly puddin pops and bringin out the cosby from the projects of north philly and keepin it real. tell us to shape the fuck up. how dare that nigga?

Anonymous said...

o and delete this comment too. massa don't want kno critisisms

smokki said...

RIGHT ON!!! Keep writin' Girl!

Dawn said...

I dig! Delurking to cheer you on -- great rant!