A bitch is stressed! Too much to do and not enough time to fucking do it!
As a result, my ass is beyond bitchy! Bitchitude to the highest power, chil’ren!
Let’s dive right in, shall we?
If a bitch is a liberal…
To clarify, a bitch is a liberal and fucking proud of it! If you read my shit and like it, then you must understand that this bitch’s opinions reflect the opinions of lots of liberals. Attempts by the right to define liberal values remind a bitch of the assholes in high school trying to tell my black ass what qualifies as “acting black” and/or “acting white”.
If a bitch is black and fucking does it…it is black!
If a bitch is black and can fucking articulate an argument and pronounce shit correctly…then motherfucking black people can articulate an argument and pronounce shit correctly!
Building on that theory…
If a bitch is saying it, then a liberal is saying it. My ass ain’t ashamed to be black and intelligent and my ass ain’t ashamed to be liberal and rational…and you can bet your ass this bitch isn’t the only rational fucking liberal out there.
So what do liberals want? Great question, chil’ren! We want many of the same things our conservative neighbors want. The problem is in the details...
Liberals want chil’ren to be educated. It doesn’t matter if you like kids or not. It doesn’t matter if you fucking have chil’ren or not. Uneducated heathens are a menace to society…that’s a fact.
We want to take it back to basics. Heathens are not running wild and getting into trouble because they need more “religion” in the schools. Don’t let some non-religious politician who was educated just fine in a non-religious school use the issue of religion to distract you from the real problem! Heathens are running wild because we have removed “morals” from the schools. You remember morals, right? Those fucking basic societal rules that almost every religion can agree on? Stop beating the shit out of each other, respect differing opinions, respect other people’s property, wash your ass and brush your teeth! Toss in some reading, writing, math and science and leave it the fuck alone. Think of education as a pot-roast…you add the ingredients that will result in a really yummy meal then LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE AND LET IT COOK, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Liberals want affordable healthcare. For some of us, that means universal healthcare. Catch that knee before it jerks! A good rule to follow is that if your ass would like a fracture to be covered you can assume your fucking neighbor would too. We want universal healthcare because it’s cheaper…fact. It is cheaper to prevent a prolonged illness than to treat a prolonged illness…fucking fact. Stop listening to economists who get off revising spreadsheets! This is fucking easy to understand…when you go to the doctor with high blood pressure it costs $$ and when you go to the emergency room with a stroke it costs $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
Toss in the fact that taxpayers are fronting the $$$$$$$$$$$$$, because they let some dumbass convince them that was better than fronting $$ and you’ve got the current state of healthcare in America. A bitch doesn’t give a flying shit about a fear of big government. This bitch fears the 150,000 uninsured working poor soon-to-be-ill-as-a-motherfucker Missourians more. My ass sincerely hopes that we all can agree that 150,000 soon-to-be-ill-as-a-motherfucker Missourians who are working and will not be able to work ill-as-a-motherfucker are something we should avoid having to confront at the Schnucks grocery on a Saturday afternoon retching up the plague.
Liberals do not sit around in a circle surrounding a lit black candles calling upon Satan to produce more abortions. Doesn’t happen. Sorry, ‘cause a bitch knows some folks like the imagery. We support “planned parenthood” as a philosophy…teach abstinence, protection, prevention and fucking basic anatomy…teach it all, for the love of Gawd! Safe, legal and rare does not mean safe, legal and often. Choice, for this bitch, starts before sex. But babies are not a person’s punishment for making a poor choice…babies are not punishment at all. My ass works with young mothers who love their chil’ren and my ass works with some who treat their chil’ren like that pair of shoes your ass wishes you never bought but can’t give away. Liberals just accept the fact…and it is a fact…that people have always, do now and will continue to fuck for pleasure. We also accept the fact that “planned parenthood” takes place in plenty of religious households…otherwise my ass wouldn’t see so many 2 chil’ren having, married at 22, now 45 Catholics smiling on their way to mass. So, let’s stop bullshitting about sex ed. leading to fucking, accept the fact that people fucked before sex ed. and they fucked after sex ed. and try to come up with some options and…dare a bitch say, choices to prevent disease and unwanted pregnancies.
A bitch could go on and on, but my point has been made.
A bitch is a liberal and a liberal is a bitch. No shame in my game. You dig...?