Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A quizzical on the lack of outrage over the end of the marriage of John and Kate who have eight…

Shall we?

Confession – this bitch has not, does not now and most likely will never watch John and Kate Plus 8 (now Kate Plus 8 with the exception being when it’s John Plus 8 on the weekends).

So, the John and Kate Plus 8 saga has been impossible to avoid. It reminds this bitch of the American Idol frenzified coverage that has been so wall-to-wall that a bitch knows what’s what and my ass never even watched that show...not once.

Why bother, when television news is basically a reality television highlight reel?

Since the J&K+8 drama has been forced upon this bitch (summary – they have a reality television show that documents their lives with eight chil’ren, several of which were born at the same time. Their marriage is falling apart and now shit is getting ugly so the future show is up in the air but the train wreck is keeping the gossip watchers busier than hell)… I took a moment this morning to skim an article about some new development requiring John to give thousands of dollars back to Kate and blah, blah and more blah.

Fuck it.

This bitch could give a shit 'bout that news…but I am quizzical over a certain something that has been missing from the over the top and freakishly dedicated coverage of J&K+8.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Where the fuck are the defenders of man-on-woman sanctified marriage?

***cue crickets with cicada singing backup***

I’m serious.

Where’s “the church”…where's that asshole from Focus on the Family…the politicians…and why the fuck hasn’t Sarah Palin released a statement on the monumental threat to chil’ren, family and the nation posed by the implosion of one of the most popular multi-birth families on television?

My gods, a bitch can’t believe there hasn’t been a letter writing campaign…a march followed by sit-in at [insert television network covering the hell out of this story 'cause it's a ratings dream come true]. I can't believe there hasn't been a massive action to protest the HUGE threat to traditional blah blah that John and Kate divorcing could be!

For the love of all that would prevent the man-on-woman sanctified marriage movement from being completely full of shit, these people are making divorce must see tv. There should be Congressional hearings and a federal amendment banning man-on-woman celebrity divorce in cases where the marriage, though dysfunctional, is a ratings downpour.

And what about the chil’ren?

What about their right to be raised in a house torn apart by bitterness and lies by two people, one a man and that other a woman who were joined together in sanctified marriage by intelligent design to go forth and populate the land with photogenic wee ones that love the camera and already know that the camera loves them back...mmmhmm, to be raised by parents who can’t stand each other and have a tendency to give television interviews that are so chock full of TMI that a bitch has to change the channel?

Huh?

***crickets and cicada begin to sing Whitney Houston’s "Didn’t We Almost Have it All"***

I just don’t get it!

Unless…

Pause...consider...continue.

...unless all that defense of marriage talk with campaigns and spokes-people and commercials and interviews and websites and organizations and federal dollars funding more campaigns and commercials and websites and counselors and so forth and so on…unless all of that was, is and will always be bullshit.

Blink.

***logs off to enjoy the crickets/cicada show***

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

word!

TwinsGoddess said...

You rule.

Dusty said...

Laughing my hairy ass off Shark Fu!!!

You outdid yourself on this one woman. ;)

enjoyin the crickets/cicada show with Shark Fu, requesting a little blues tune from the group

IseultTheIdle said...

As is so often the case, The Onion has the answers. (Please note: The Onion is a parody "news" site. I know, but some people don't get that at first.)

http://www.theonion.com/content/onion/?q=opinion/if_god_had_wanted_me_to_be

D. said...

Mom watches that stuff every day, and I suppose it's her way of keeping up with the world, but it makes me crazy after about two days (recent visit) because nothing changes; it's like soap opera (don't get me started) or mincing, say, the revelatory chapter in a Dickens novel into Very. Small. Pieces. To. Drag. Out. The. Story. As. Much. As. Poss. i. ble.

As for the other question: Most of those people are hypocrites anyhow.

Also, the crickets seem to be louder back East.

Jen said...

Damn, I wish my crickets would sing Didn't We Almost Have It All.

L. Jackson said...

Many yrs ago I wrote an article about 'ordinary' folks..how we will pass on leaving our family and friends to hunt for things to say about our lives..grin. It boils down to ppl 'idolizing' rich, famous, weird lives that 'ordinary' folks don't have. The sensations of others are the ratings & other 'ordinary' folks know that is what will get us watching? Do I watch the drama, no..like u, it is hard not to hear about it though, sick as it is..big sigh. So am going back to my 'ordinary' life, happy & content to let drama go away! Grin, does Shark Fu need the staunch believers of marriage to be counted so can have some sensation? roflmao

AOB said...

..'that asshole from Focus on the Family'...(maybe the crickets should have started there....)

I have to remember NOT to read your blog while eating lunch. You have the best and funniest way of making a point, which is duly noted while I am picking myself up off the floor.

If you really want to (maybe not) know what a real asshole he is read Max Blumenthals' new book Republican Gomorrah, you have to order it online, I have not seen it in retail outlets.

Della said...

And that's reality

The dream is over
What can I say?
The dream is over....

I went looking for the lyrics to John Lennon's song 'God' and found that somewhere it's called Yoko's song. The reality of human behaviors and human response to it is just too bizarre to waste your time on. Present company excepted of course. Shark-Fu makes it fun.

Leota2 said...

"that asshole from Focus on the Family"---Indeed.
ROTFLMAO

Miss Trudy said...

Bullshit, indeed.

harrietsdaughter said...

You are my hero.

Anonymous said...

Her supreme bitch..

Yeah, I'm going off topic here, sorry. I just read an article from the Chicago Sun Times where a teacher made the comment to his class "how do you feel about your tax dollars paying a black fag to take pictures of other black fags?"

I'm thinking a dream based correction is in order!

xoxo
David

ImTheMarigold said...

Apologies for the off-topic comment here, but is there any chance of seeing an SharkFu happy dance posted now that Rush is out of the St Louis mess? Saw that on the ESPN ticket last night and did a dance of joy! The quote from the bid group leader was perfect.

Jessica said...

THANK YOU!

Nat said...

Shocking ain't it?

***crickets and cicada begin to sing Whitney Houston’s "Didn’t We Almost Have it All"*** that my dear is simply brilliant.

beth said...

Yea, I tired of watching this heffer - breed those kids - being lesbian is better