Friday, October 16, 2009

Falcon the Balloon Boy and the wild ride that never happened…

Happy Friday, y’all!

Let’s jump right on in.

As I type, this bitch is watching the Balloon Family on ABC and NBC at the same time. Balloon Boy has just exited stage left on NBC…apparently he got ill mid-interview, but a bitch wouldn’t be surprised if Balloon Father didn’t jump up into the next segment and announce that Balloon Boy is now trapped on top of the Empire State Building with a giant primate.

The entire Balloon Family is still on ABC, though.

Mercy.

I missed most of Balloon Boy 2009 – The Non-flight of the Foolish…didn’t even know it was going down until someone sent an email asking for prayers and such. But apparently yesterday everyone and their dawg was watching live coverage of a flying saucer-esque balloon that allegedly had a young boy in it and was definitely flying across the sky at a very high altitude.

This bitch totally gets why this story got picked up.

A freakish and photogenic shiny silver balloon + a young child on board + and slow news day = no-brainer.

I get it!

What I’m currently fascinated by is the press…now doubtful ‘cause of something Balloon Boy said on Larry King last night about doing it because of a “show” (Lawd, have mercy!)…yeah, so now the press is attempting to find out if this entire thing was a stunt or if maybe the kids were pulling a stunt on their parents that got out of control or if this whole thing was really what it was reported to be and Balloon Boy really was hiding in the attic while the whole world was watching his balloon as if his ass was in it.

Observing the difficult time these morning anchors are having getting to the facts of the matter sure as shit is fascinating!

C’mon now, people…get your grill on or shut the fuck up ‘bout it!

Hell, a bitch suspects that all y’all aren’t really pissed at all.

I bet the ratings from yesterday’s festival of speculation-based viewage are HUGE.

Pause…consider…continue.

So, if the Balloon Family didn’t do it all for a show…

…this bitch’ll bet some reality show producer will change that before the weekend is over.

Blink.

8 comments:

Dusty said...

A family of wingnuts that evidently didn't get enough facetime during their reality show or that ridiculous Wife Swap show.

Yes, I did watch and was concerned as hell, until the brat popped up in the attic.

And fuck the media for keeping this shit going. Losers!

L. Jackson said...

Slow media time is right...lol..I switched channels 3x & still got the balloon family; then on Regis/Kelly they talked about it...geeesh..that's when I turned it off & ran for radio music!

bev said...

I kid you not - 2 minutes after reading your post, I plunked myself down on the couch next to my illin' and chillin' 9 year old. Husband was in the chair next to us and I says to husband, I says "So. You've heard about balloon boy?"

And the sick and feverish NINE YEAR OLD pops up with each. and. every. detail. The silver balloon. The hiding in the attic. The kid maybe lying. Every detail of a news story I'd clicked through on CNN. Kid doesn't read news on the innertubes. And we don't have cable.

I suppose you could say this is a news story that has kid appeal, and that's why he knew that story better than, say, the reason for the recent spike in gasoline prices. Or - more realistically - you could say that even a kid who's been watching Sponge Bob because he feels like crud is getting inundated with Balloon Boy in between switching DVDs and popping tylenol.

It made me laugh in a crying on the inside kind of way.

Anonymous said...

haha...the fucker is probably going to jail and paying for the entire fiasco. of course, he'll get all teary eyed in his apology explaining his addiction to " " and what a horrible person he thinks he is for doing this to his kids.

send in child protective svcs!

iriegal said...

latest update is that authorities are going to press charges against the family. Probably just a misdemeanor however, I think CPS needs to invest what is going on in that house.

djdannak said...

Your very presence in the world amazes and inspires me every day...

danna

Valkyrie607 said...

See, this is what I love about not having a TV. I got to ignore this story until it got interesting--that is, when it went from being a story about a missing kid to being a story about the how media and the drive for fame and money warps people's behaviors, and how the media enables it, even as they tell us they hate doing it. Amazing.

windy city girl said...

I'm still laughing at how the media got punked. Does my media-hating heart SUCH good.