Yesterday Theo the sorta-beagle got into the kitchen garbage and got his feed on…then spent the entire night shitting himself silly.
Sigh.
His bowels settled around 4 o’clock in the morning, so a bitch had a lot of time last night between letting him out to do his business every hour to think.
My mind kept spirally around the language of politics right now…freedom and change…and I couldn’t help but wonder why some people think you can’t have both. I settled on fear as the reason because fear will keep a body from having the courage to make the political changes that allow freedom to exist.
But just because politicians speak of protecting freedom doesn’t mean they really want to. Too many of them toil in the garden of fear to fight against change and justify their questionable actions.
I was raised by a fearful mother who struggled with anxiety issues that kept her from doing a lot of things. The language of fear was ever present in my house…don’t do X because Y may happen to you or, Gawd forbid, Z! Fear rubbed off on me…guided my actions and lack of action for years…until I eventually doubted the value of freedom in the face of so much potential danger.
But I didn’t like that fearful place. A body can’t be whole when it is forever not living life. I worked on it and still work on it…get up and go out of the house, take that chance because it is worth it and try to trust because some people are worthy of that.
A bitch understands the struggle against fear and I truly believe that the only thing I have to fear is fear itself.
But we are a nation…a people…that has been doing little else but fearing shit for years.
I am troubled by the lack of faith and courage that are so obviously present beneath the thick layer of faux patriotism some politicians slap on before public appearances.
They who advise that we don’t try to address the problem of so many uninsured Americans and a fucked up healthcare system caution that X many happen or even Y or, Gawd forbid, Z.
Don’t try to reform our immigration policies so that those who would like to live here can legally do so and participate fully in our society…X may happen or even Y or, Gawd forbid, Z.
Don’t have expectations about public school education despite the fact that it used to be so much better and can be again and despite the fact that our public education system is one of the greatest achievements of our society in a world where so many are denied access to any education at all…X or Y or, Gawd forbid, Z!
Don’t go so fast, seek so much, believe so strongly, fight so fiercely…have you thought about X or Y or, Gawd forbid, Z?
And don’t speak of peace because “so much is at stake” and “the risks are so high”.
Just don’t! they advise and remind a bitch of that fearful place…of my country that is not whole after so many years living in it.
What does freedom really mean?
It means everything, because so much is at stake and the risks are so high (wink).
Its sad that a nation that owes its greatest accomplishments to amazing courage and radical at the time demands has become too scared to take our hard earned freedom out for regular rides.
No, freedom isn’t free…of the potential of X or Y or, Gawd forbid, Z.
Freedom isn’t free of risk or fear…this child of Civil Rights parents and grandchild of a WWII veteran knows that very well.
But if we want to be whole again…if we truly want to be of the people, by the people and for the people…if we want to be worthy of the ultimate sacrifice too many have made…freedom must be everything.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, so what remains to be decided is what we really want to be...
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8 comments:
Nothing in life, including life itself, is guarenteed. We could lose it all. If we wish to be free we have to recognize that and go on. Do what we can to be safe, but refuse to hide from the fresh air and the sunshine just because one day we could get a tornado.
It is hard for our parents who didn't feel free and most of whom weren't raised to feel free or entitled to rear us to live and be free.
We have to take charge and step out despite the fears, cautions, etc., that they have wisely and unwisely given us.
Blogging is one way of doing that.
Breaking out of the boxes and labels that are used to define us is another way.
This post reminded me of the words of Duke Ellington:
"...We would like very much to mention the four major freedoms that my friend and writing-and-arranging composer, Billy Strayhorn, lived by and enjoyed.
That was freedom from hate, unconditionally; freedom from self-pity; freedom from fear of possibly doing something that may help someone else more than it would him; and freedom from the kind of pride that could make a man feel that he is better than his brother."
This is hard for me. I was raised in a family that taught me that I was entitled...um, equal to or better than everyone else. There's very little doubt in my genes and my kin placed that there. So, yes, it's very hard for me to reconcile that not everyone was raised that way, did not have that background.
One of the various sayings I grew up with was, "How can you succeed if you don't try?" Indeed and I exhort everyone to try. I write letters to my representatives, volunteer for various organizations and strive...This is not a nation of cowards, you're right on that. I just wonder what happened these past few decades where trying became tantamount to possibly failing.
I'm sure my attitude was defined by my working class background...My parents knew that the world is a dangerous place to be without money...don't take risks, keep your head down. But, child of the sixties, I rebelled!
That is a brave and beautiful thought. Thank you, ABB.
Damn! That was one of your better ones. Not that they aren't all truly profound... From another who spent too many years waiting for some unknown something to come along before doing anything and still struggling with fear of failure. Thank you for that.
YES YES YES!!!!
We have been conditioned thanks to the 'christain right' to believe that if X gets elected y+z+t will equal the end of the known universe.
I for one am sick of the fear mongering..and it seems that a lot of other people are as well.
Of course you put it so eloquently!
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