Friday, January 19, 2007

Travel-based drama and the modern bitch...

Lawd have mercy!

A bitch has encountered all manner off travel-based drama! Fret not, it has already been worth it...but bitch has clearly offended the technology gods BIG TIME!

Yesterday my ass arrived at Lambert St. Louis airport and promptly checked my bags. This bitch travels with a lot of product...and a bitch is broke...so there was no way in hell I was going to have some security person toss out my hair lotion and have me looking tore up for three days in Atlanta (wink).

My ticket took me to Atlanta via Milwaukee where I switched from American Airlines to Delta. Everything went fine...I caught some serious sleep in flight...and then we landed.

Atlanta has the largest airport a bitch has ever had the misfortune of hiking through! And no, this bitch is not airport ignorant. I've been to London and Paris. Shit, I lived in Dallas and DFW is big as hell!

No, there was something evil about the largeness of Atlanta's airport...wicked and torturous. A bitch road the airport subway to the terminal...hiked several miles to the Delta luggage area...and was told that my bags were at American. Illogical but in the way of airline illogic, so a bitch hiked over to American...only to be told that the bags were at Delta.

Pause.

Lawd, please give the extra strength a bitch needs to travel in my new nicotine free
world....please grant me the strength to not go off old school on this woman who isn't even the woman who told my ass that my bag was where is really had no bitness being, which is why it wasn't there.

Hit play.

Having not gone off but desperate for a cigarette in the worst way (no, I didn't...but I'm bitter as hell)...a bitch finally found my bag and took the shuttle to the hotel.

We're staying at the Hilton and this bitch is trying not tho be quizzical about whether I'm somehow funding Paris Hilton's lame as hell attempt at a bohemian revival...makes a bitch want to slap some personality into her, but my ass is attempting non-violence in 2007.

Anyhoo...

I checked in...grabbed a grape soda...headed too my room and began to unpack. Since I'm at the NAPW on a bloggership, I unpacked Ms. Sister Girl MacBook and plugged her ass in.

Nothing.

Just a gray screen with a working wheel and a darker gray apple icon mocking me.

Fuck.

Fuck it all the hell and back on the red eye!

Sigh.

Needless to say a bitch is now working off of a borrowed iBook G4 (thank you to the fantabulous Tiloma...a bitch adores you like ice tea in the summer)...and a trip to the Apple Store is planned for Monday.

Oh well, such is life.

Shit, I managed to not fall off the nicotine wagon in the face of travel drama.

That's got to be a good thing.

Now onward to the NAPW Summit...borrowed iBook G4 (newly re-named Ms. Sister Girl iBook) on lap!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who knew that airport travel had become such drame. I just took a plane myself and could not believe how absolutley horrible and futile the "security" measures that have been put in place are. What bulshit the whole zip lock bag fiasco is. Stuff in a ziplock is not going to keep us safer. I hate having to folllow rules that are stupid!

~Macarena~ said...

The Hiltons should of course be paying you for gracing them with your afro, but until then, I am sure your self-affirming activist karma does Paris more harm than your money does her good.

Ryan said...

When a bitch returns to St. Louis, she can always borrow my iBook G4 while Miss Sister Girl MacBook is in the iHospital.

Emily in Florida said...

ABB,

You have my utmost respect, not only for your wonderful blog, but for being able to withstand all that nasty shit and NOT having a ciggie!

I am enjoying your bulletins from Hotlanta and hoping that you have a safe return to St Louis, though I hear that more nastified weather is headed that way.

Stay safe!

Yours in bitchness...