Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Proxy War 2.0...

Chil’ren, it is cold…too cold…nasty cold…wrong on all levels cold outside! A bitch opened the door and expected to see a polar bear frolicking in the back yard.

Mercy!

A bitch would jump right in but even the intellectual water is cold as a motherfucker…

Proxy War 2.0…
A certain Scooter B. was interviewed on my beloved NPR the other day and he decided to amplify his trash talking towards Iran by pledging to “respond firmly” should Iran keep doing what United States intelligence claims they are doing in Iraq.

Blink.

It seems that Iran is fighting a proxy war against the United States in Iraq.

Blink again.

Which was fascinating to Matt Lauer…Mere V…and this bitch, who watched the two of them be fascinated by this shit on the Today Show this morning.

By the way, Mere V. is growing on a bitch…she’s toned down the Couric-esque orangish-pink in favor of a warm faux tan that is less offensive to thy eye. Plus, she went off on Donald Trump the other day.

Nice.

Anyhoo, everyone was fascinated by the proxy war question and what that may mean for the United States and our ongoing presence in Iraq.

A bitch's thoughts on Proxy War 2.0...

Intelligence? Wherefore art thou intelligence?
A bitch isn’t trying to piss in anyone’s information collecting fortified Corn Flakes, but who discovered what when and where?

Cough.

See, a bitch was skeptical of the “discovered” evidence that “proved” all manner of connections based on the deep cover and still protected ramblings of a certain Curve Ball...and that shit was later revealed to be wrong, way wrong and pretty much all wrong.

So you can bet your happy ass that this bitch is predisposed to doubt the hell out of some paperwork that was left strewn about in an office occupied by a bunch of clearly identified and not hiding from anyone almost diplomats of Iranian origin…in Iraq…conveniently just in time to provide yet another justification for our involvement in the region and our possible escalation against Iran.

Pause.

So allow me to ask again…who discovered what when and where?

Curve Ball's cousin Pookie?

Ahem.

Same war, different proxy?
Didn't the United States engaged in a proxy war in the region in the 1980s?

Or am I'm confused?

Fuck!

Okay, Russia is friendly with Iran…Iran is friendly with the current head motherfuckers in charge in Iraq…and we’re the last kid picked for the kickball team.

This looks like the beginnings of the same war all over again with a different proxy to me.

Pause.

But this time around would we be fighting against the current head motherfuckers in charge in Iraq too? They do seem to be on rather good terms with Iran.

Would Russia be an ally or an enemy in Iran/Iraq Proxy War 2.0?

And if our diplomatic objective is to prevent war-based drama from spreading throughout the region, how does a proxy war assist or hinder that effort?

Pause again.

And what the fuck does "respond firmly" mean anyway?

Lawd, have mercy…

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gracious, I heard that interview too and thought I was just imagining it. Scooter's grip on reality has taken a - how shall we say this delicately? - Reaganesque turn, indeed.

Clio Bluestocking said...

Sounds to me like a certain illustrious leader is trying to perfect the art of crying wolf.

Maya's Granny said...

I've said it before, I'll say it again. When Scooter B. identified his "axis of evil" at the 2002 SOTU, I knew then he fully intended to attack all three of those countries. Of course, since then North Korea has developed nuclear weapons, and he isn't threatening them any longer. Since Saddam didn't have WMDs, that would seem to indicate that the way to be attacked by the US is to not have the weapons, and the way to be left alone is to have them. A wonderful thing to teach the rest of the world -- the only way we'll leave you alone is if you develope nuclear weapons.

hugo da storm said...

bitch...(if i may call you that respectfully)...
you are the finest piece of intellectual ass on the internet.

I'm a new reader and I just read about your travel travails coming back from Atlanta. My heart goes out. Flying is a nightmare. Delta's no worse than American, which is no worse than United, which is evidently as awful as Air France... All a bunch of nasty, miserable, intentionally deceiving....Anyway, we should have 'no fly' days where the 'telligent people go on strike against the airlines to let them know that they are *not* so fabulous and desirable that we can't live without shelling out our money to ride on their veal trains with wings and put up with their condescension and deceptions.

On the up side, don't worry about falling off the no-smoking wagon over the holidays. When you're ready to quit you'll quit, if you're not back on the wagon already. Take it from a Catholic school homo like Yo. If I can quit after a pack and a half of daily addiction and an industrial strength dose of pontifical guilt, you can too.

besos,
hu-go

Huntington said...

"Intelligence" as in a big ol' slice of yellow cake from Niger? Pish and even tosh.