Thursday, January 25, 2007

A dash of dream-based correction…

Last night this bitch exhausted my self attempting to spank the asshole out of a certain Scooter Bush.

Pause.

Blink

What?

Oh for the love of all that is dream-based and corrective…a bitch didn’t really spank him.

Lawd, don’t you think that would have made the sorta-news (wink)?

Okay, it has been a while since a bitch broke out the merciless rod of correction. Allow me to explain. From time to time a bitch enjoys dream-based correction. These dreams are just dreams and in no way reflect reality.
Cough.

Where was I?

Oh yes!

Last night…whilst this bitch slumbered...I indulged in a session of dream-based correction that involved my merciless rod of bitchitude making contact smartly with Scooter B.’s pale ass.

I descended from my bejeweled thrown and approached Scooter B. who was bound tightly to the four points of discipline.

“Do you know why you have been released from your cage and brought before me?” I asked.

No Mistress! Surely I have not displeased you?!?” he gasped.

“Really?”

SMACK!

“Well I watched your State of the Union Speech.”

SMACK!

“Yes Mistress?” he replied, careful not to raise his gaze.

“And something important was missing…something very crucial and insulting in its absence.”

“What Mistress?”

SMACK!

“Well, there wasn’t any mention of the post hurricane rebuilding effort and the status of things in New Orleans or the Gulf Region in general…you sorry assed ignorant could give a shit waste of space and insult to leadership WORTHLESS THUG OF A SORTA-HUMAN!”

A bitch paused and considered the weight of the rod.

“Come to think of it, I don’t think you are correctable. You’re too far gone…rotten to the core…polluted beyond salvation.” A bitch sighed. “I think you should remain as you are so that the masses may witness your incompetence, lack of compassion, complete neglect of a domestic emergencies and general unworthiness. Mayhap my fellow Americans will choose better next time around if the stench of you lingers.”

This bitch returned to my thrown and cast Scooter B. back to the West Wing…then settled into the remainder of my dream, which involved Dick Cheney peeling grapes for a PFLAG meeting.

Sigh.

And then I woke up.

9 comments:

thatfarmgirl said...

My family has been in Louisiana since 1720, so I consider myself a champion of the state and its people. And you know I love you, ABB. BUT...I think it's time to lay off Bush and start holding the city and state officials responsible for the disaster that continues to this day. Kathleen Blanco would rather wah-wah-wah about her neighbors in Mississippi than get her own g**damned affairs in order. Who in the hell knows what Ray Nagin is doing? And let's not forget a lot of the people who reside in Louisiana who have not done so much as lift a finger to help their neighbor. Yes, Bush is a boob, but the outcry should be at the boobs in power in what was once the great state of Louisiana, and the citizens who aren't demanding answers and solutions.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, ABB, from South Louisiana. Rage on. (sigh)

Dideau

It's Me, Maven... said...

Speaking of the Dick...

Cheney, that is...

Did you notice how he was text messaging during Scooter B's state of the union address?

maxwell said...

i don't wanna wake up! this is soooo good!

James L. Malone said...

I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE your blog! I love the way you write, I love your attitude and I love your take on life.

James
A simple whiteboy from Chicago
jlmalone@cox.net

Jeffrey said...

"The merciless rod of correction."

Oh, I think I know what a Bitch needs to have for her birthday! Someone needs to bring the dream-based merciless rod of correction into a reality-based form.

Work will be proceeding on this. Oh yes, it will be. Now where's my hot glue gun....

Shark-fu said...

thatfarmgirl...you know a bitch adores you too (wink), but I must disagree even as I agree.

The State of the Union should address the state of the bloody union, which includes the NOLA and The Gulf last time I checked. It would haev been a great time to show some leadership and point out what the state and local elected leaders have or have not done.

That didn't happen...that't this man's job...and that is a failure of leadership.

Yes, there is a lot of blame to pass around.

But ponder this...your fellow Americans didn't hear anything about NOLA or the Gulf during the State of the Union address.

Makes me wonder if someone somewhere hasn't already redrawn the map...

Shark-fu said...

anon - you're welcome.

maven - oooooh, no he didn't? DRAMA!

Mr. Malone - welcome to the land of bitchitude!

jeffrey - you naughty thing...bitch cann't wait to see what you and that glue gun come up with!

thatfarmgirl said...

Points well taken.