Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Clearing shit up once more...

Every now and then a bitch gets an e-mail either confronting me about my blackness or politely questioning whether this bitch is indeed a black woman.

For example, a certain someone sent a bitch a rather nice e-mail asking to confirm. He was confused because the Riverfront Times profiled my blog and mentioned Brother Rob Thurman as a contributor...which he was kind enough to be for a week way back in the day whilst a bitch got my vacation on.

For the record, Brother Rob is not a bitch and a bitch is not Brother Rob...though Brother Rob is a bitch's Blog Father.

A bitch is black…well, actually I’m more of a warm Hershey brown color (wink)…and has been since birth.

I am a woman.

I’m not always angry, but something pisses me off at least once a day which is a good thing since a bitch doesn’t have time to fret about content for this blog space.

Ahem.

No, Brother Rob Thurman is not playing the part of an AngryBlackBitch on-line. Lawd, y’all think that man is clever as hell…which he is…but St. Louis is a rather small town and even Brother Rob couldn’t have pulled that shit off for more than a month…two months max.

C-Money is a real person...unless this existence is an altered reality and everything that is isn’t and that isn’t…well, is…ugh.

Fuck it all, now my afro hurts!

My older brother Bill really is autistic, although a bitch suspected him of faking it for years when we were kids.

What?

Shit, he never got in trouble for anything! Who can blame the 6 year old me for seeing it as a hustle?

Pause.

Betsey the sorta-beagle is a true to life sorta-beagle.

My Play Husband is not Brother Rob, but his own Play Spouse self. Mercy, y’all have Brother Rob involved in all sorts of mischief!

Ummm, no that wasn’t me at City Diner last week…must have been some other angry sistah with a fantabulous afro.

And no, a bitch isn’t on the payroll of a political party or candidate.

Gawd save me from the conspiracy theories of others!

Sigh.

That should cover the e-mails my ass has received so far this year.

Additional visual confirmation of a bitch’s blackness will be available at the NAPW Summit in Atlanta tomorrow through Sunday...

9 comments:

play husband said...

It's true, I'm not Brother Rob, but, like my play-wife, I get angry.

GayProf said...

Wow -- People fill in a lot of details about your life. I wonder why they are so suspicious and/or conspiratorial.

hector said...

i put a link to your blog on my myspace page and i was accused of being racist and misogynistic! me of all people!! a feminist gay liberal, lol...i told this person to check out the blog before making slanderous accusations, but refused to do it. so now i'm afraid to buy an ABB t-shirt in fear that if i come across a brother who thinks i'm racist and misogynistic, might bust a cap in my ass. oh well, we're just misunderstood i guess ;)

Matt said...

I love it when black people are happy....

It's Me, Maven... said...

OY
TO
THE
VEY!!

What about Enid? Sheesh... *AS IF* you were a white man frontin' as a sistah with fibroids? Now THAT, my friend, is contrived!!

I'll testify on your behalf!

I've spoken to you... I've heard the voice behind the text. If you've got pendulous genitalia, I'll fart out the Preamble to the Constitution!!

Christopher said...

I thought ABB was actually Deep Throat right up until that old guy finally admitted it.

Anonymous said...

I think ABB is actually America's favorite pantyless wonder, Lindsay Lohan. LL just announced that she is in "rehab" the same day that ABB announces she is in "Atlanta." Hmmm. Coincidence? I think not.

Anonymous said...

I can personally verify that ABB is black and a bitch.

Shark-fu said...

Gasp (a bitch puts hand to heart with full drama-based gushing faux shock) say it isn't so (wink)!