Wednesday, February 15, 2006

By request…Behold, Rufus!


For C-Money with love.

With the frenzy and confusion about who fucked up Katrina relief, who shot who where and why, and all things war related it’s easy to overlook the crowning of a champion.

Rufus, a bitch is impressed!

Way to go, you dawg-like thing!

Now, a bitch has some issues with pure bred dawgs. This bitch lives in a state famous for puppy mills and meth, so an industry that promotes the pure over a good old fashioned mutt rubs me wrong.

But a bitch adores all things canine and couldn’t help but watch the Westminster Dawg Show last night.

ABB’s Completely Made up Shit about That Dawg Show…
C-Money nursed a beer in agitated frustration as her favorite, a fancy assed Rottweiler named Shaka Zulu, started out strong then seemed to get flustered when it came time for Best in Show. Our living area seemed to pulse with the tension as Shaka squared off with that sassy Golden Retriever and a certain Bull Terrier named Rufus.

C-Money’s scowl grew as the crowd loudly proclaimed their adoration for the Golden Retriever.

“What the fuck? Hello!?! The Rott, motherfuckers! The Rott!” she muttered angrily.

“But that Golden retriever is so cute, Money! Look…see that smile?” a bitch replied.

“Shit, anyone with an ounce of sense can see that Shaka is the shit.” C-Money replied.

A bitch, always one to cave to any indictment of my senseliness (wink), quickly switched allegiance to Shaka.

Oh Shaka!

Go forth and win one for all the Rotts of the world who endure fear and misunderstanding!

Go, Shaka...go!

Shaka?

No! No!! Bad dawg.

He became distracted and confused during Best in Show. And that fucking Golden Retriever seemed to prance with renewed enthusiasm. What an asshole! Cocky little motherfucker.

The tension grew. The judge reviewed and then noted his decisions.

C-Money leaned forward.

A bitch took a long sip of vodka followed by cran.

What?

What!

The Bull Terrier?

You’ve gotta be shitting me!

Pause. Sip more vodka cran and watch as steam rises off of C-Money.

Fuck it. That dawg is cute as a motherfucker.

“C-Money?” a bitch asked quietly.

“What?”

You can’t be mad! Everyone loves a terrier!” this bitch replied with fiendish joy.

“Fuck you, Shark-fu. Fuck you and your terrier loving ass.” C-Money shot back with a twinkle in her eye.

Who needs the Olympics, chil'ren?

This day belongs to the dawgs...

14 comments:

thatfarmgirl said...

Dog lover here...all breeds, shapes & sizes. I'm with you on the purebred vs. mutt thing, but I need dogs that don't shed so purebred was the only way I could go. But THANK YOU for championing all the loveable mutts out there. Dogs rule. For real.

dondon009 said...

....... and what about Dermot the PUG?

This bitchlover owns two PUGS and was in deep depression when Dermot didn't take the crown....

Wonder if he'd settle for a slightly used tiara?

PEACE~

Anonymous said...

Potty Mouth.

CP said...

Absolutely love the dawg show. And while my money was not on Spuds Mackenzie (aka Rufus), I have to admit, he is a pretty sharp looking dog.

He reminds me of Jack Nicholson. Something about the eyes.

You want the woof? You can't handle the woof!!!

yeah. im ashamed of me too.

CP.

cats said...

you can tell c-money that the rott was robbed! (i'm convinced that black dogs are discriminated against.)

and my puppy is much cuter than rufus. i posted her picture so everyone can ohh and awe

J said...

I think they should have dog shows for 'mixed breeds' and 'mutts' as well. That would be fun. I have a 1/2 shetland sheepdog, 1/2 keeshond that would win for sure. :)

AOB said...

Our shih tzu enjoys the show as much as we do...she barks and growls at everyone on the screen and sits pretty while watching too...

Crystal-Lynn said...

The rott WAS robbed. And I agree there should be a mutt dawg show ... my Sweetie would win the three-legged chow-shephard category!

- C Money

susan said...

There are some mixed breed dog shows- you can even register your dog with the Mixed Breed Dog Club of America. I have no idea what is involved with that, I just know it can be done.

It's Me, Maven... said...

I'm with DonDon... former pug owner here. They are delightful dogs!

ABB, I thoroughly enjoyed your account of your viewing of the WDS. I wish I were there, but thanks to your wordsmithing... it is as if I was.

Vodka cran, sass, and the WDS... now that's "DOGGY STYLE!!"

nostradumass said...

when are you going to post a pic of the sortabeagle you're always talking about?

fahren said...

Another Tar Heel makes good :)

TiaraCEO said...

But you have to love a dog that smiles like that. Lookit his sassy grin! :D

(Hi ABB, first-time poster and big ol' fan.)

BarefootCajun said...

C-Money, I was right there with you. I wanted Shaka to win. I love that Keith Carter was the first breeder/owner/handler in the Best In Show ring since 1983 and I wanted him to walk away with it all just to show those professional handlers up.

Alas, Rufus was on his game more than the rest and it was his night. His head looks like a football. I'm not a fan of bull terriers.

I am a fan of all dogs - purebred and mutts. I've had some of each and loved them all equally. And I love watching the dog shows. I'm glued to them more that I am to a good episode of ER.