Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Meditations

Meditation #1
I'm tired of people acting like their issues are automatically my issues. I do not have most people's problems or hang-ups. This should be more than clear. What part of "ABB has her shit together and what she doesn't have together she doesn't give a damn about" do people not understand? What's wrong with some people? I'm sorry, but I just got one too many e-mails today about other people's shit and what I should do to gain understanding about their shit so I don't inadvertently insult their ass. What? I'm certain that I insult someone everyday and you know what? - I'm fine with that! Other people sure seem okay and empowered to inadvertently insult my ass with too many e-mails about whatever insulted them today! So, if your ass is feeling the need for validation I suggest you search for that shit offline! For the record - ABB is secure in her Blackness, confident in the power of her womanhood, certain than she is probably smarter than you, unimpressed with efforts towards "deliberate" inclusiveness and as self-aware as my ass is going to get in this lifetime. Close out the reply you've been typing for the last hour, step away from the computer and do the world a favor by seeking therapy. Again. With some honesty and conviction. Oh, and ask about the pills this time.

Meditation #2
I've had enough of feeding tubes and last minute appeals and conservative acts of civil disobedience. Let's rewind to last year when I endured 12 months of a unified effort to preserve the fucking sanctity of marriage. Well, it's fucking sanctified now, assholes, and that means a woman's huuuuusband can remove her fucking feeding tube and her parents can't do a damned thing about it! Y'all should have thought through that shit.

2004 Republican Campaign Strategy - Marriage is the foundation of American society and deserved of protection. The traditional family (husband, wife, Timmy, Julie and chocolate lab) is a sanctified institution that must be protected constitutionally.

2005 Evil Light of Reality Realization - You really can't turn around and try to undermine marriage through the courts just because "life" is now on the table. What part of "sanctified" and "foundation of American society" do you not understand? I know this shit hurts, but brides should consider the "crazy assed spouse" factor prior to taking their vows. All the women in my family do! Maybe it's because y'all have a sanitized vision of marriage. You probably never envisioned someone wanting their spouse dead. Well, my ass grew up in a family with a 90% divorce rate and several crazy ex-uncles and I knew at an early age that no sane woman would hand over the decision of life or death to the "motherfucker you happen to be kickin it with at the moment" otherwise known as a huuuusband. Shit, I can't even settle on a hairstyle for very long, much less a lover. Anticipate the "his ass might go crazy and try to kill my ass" factor. Then get the fuck off my television with this confused assed bullshit!


And finally....... ABB is sad to hear of the passing of Johnnie Cochran. I really liked him even though I can't remember how to spell his name. Much of my delight over my favorite television show, The O.J. Simpson Trial, came from J.C.'s brilliant strategy and the Dream Team he put together to execute it. Sadly, the passing of Cochran all but guarantees the incarceration of many a celebrity. Oh, Please!! Y'all know J.C. would have gotten Lil Kim's ass off!! Here's hoping he's kickin it in a courtroom in the great beyond, telling Clarence Darrow "if it doesn't fit you must acquit........".

3 comments:

BaltimoreLenore said...

Meditation #2 is one fine piece of writing. Thank you for the first laugh I've had today. May I quote it with a link back to you?
-Morrigan

Morrigans Web

Todd said...

LooK. Just get your ABB ass up here to Chicago so I can take you out for dinner. Cocktails and a pack of cigs for you on the table.

Who upset you?! Sic me on them!

Todd said...

Oh, and I agree with you about Johnnie. So many forget those times now. He left with class...