Okay, y’all…I’m back.
Thank you all for your advice and encouragement!
Now…shall we?
Y’all remember last year when a bunch of exotic animals were
released in the middle of the night by their owner in Ohio?
Mmhmm, there were 911 calls from folks saying “I think I
just saw a lion and bear fighting on my deck!” or “There’s a panther swimming
in my pool!”
Okay, those aren’t exact quotes…but close.
Anyhoo, the owner killed himself after releasing his
animals. Tragically, police concerned about an outbreak of suburban lion
attacks killed a lot of the animals.
Some of the animals consumed the other exotic animals and…well, let’s
just say it was a clusterfuck of a situation that made national news.
The crazy freak-out-and-bring-the-dogs-inside situation
itself was newsworthy.
But the event also brought attention to the lax regulations
of exotic animal ownership in Ohio.
In the aftermath, politicians pontificated about passing new laws while
animal welfare activists pointed out the need to end the exotic animal trade in
America.
Fast-forward to today…and go ahead and bring your dogs
inside if you live in Ohio.
The widow of the owner who killed himself after releasing
all those lions and tigers and bears just won the right to get the surviving animals back.
Even though there are concerns about the fact that cages
have not been fixed.
Even though there are concerns about the conditions the
animals were being kept in prior to last years fiasco.
And the choir asked… “How can this be, Shark-Fu? That
doesn’t make a lick of sense!”
And The Shark replied… “Anti-regulation freaks in government
strike again, my friends!”
Ohio is working on bills…but for some reason lawmakers think
the ban on exotic animal ownership should not apply to current owners. Even if the proposed legislation
becomes law it will not apply to folks…and we’re talking about a lot of
folks…who happen to have a lion or bear about the house.
I don’t even want to think about what the law says about
animals born to animals already being held in Ohio. Lawd, a person could have thousands of animals roaming
outside of Columbus and it would be freaking legal!
Pause…consider…continue.
This is Don’t Tread on Me gone wrong.
Shit, I just spent a day lobbying a few Missouri legislators
who would consider exotic animal regulation a mandate and oppose it even though
it makes sense…cause “liberty ain’t easy” and “patriots gotta hold the line.”
Who wants to bet that the Tea Party solution to exotic animal drama is regular militia-based big game hunts in the burbs?
And don’t get smug just because you don’t live in Ohio…there
aren’t any border fences between states and you can bet your ass the average
pride of lions will just love getting their Heartland hunt on if another owner
decides to liberate them from suburban bondage.
***clutches snack-sized sorta-beagles***
Blink.
2 comments:
So, let's say no to legislation restricting the rights of people who own animals they may not be able to care for or handle properly....but getting all up in people's uterus and right to handle their own reproductive process is awesome and a-okay??
*sigh*
Well, I hope the Ohio Government will do something to about this issue. and it will be fair to all even to the exotic animals. One of our client in the exotic animal veterinarian near me owned 2 bears and they are so cute, they said it is expensive. By the way, thank you for sharing.
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