Iowans got their Caucus on yesterday and this morning all the political pundits are feasting on the first sorta-results of 2012.
Let’s jump in, shall we?
I watched my beloved Blues beat the Coyotes last night (happy dance) so I missed the endless live Caucus coverage. Not that it mattered, since Iowa decided to be all dramatic and take all night to bring forth the tightest finish in the history of the Iowa Caucuses.
Romney, Paul, and Rick Santorum (yes, that would be the same man-on-dawg Santorum who gorged on Congressional pork while attempting to legislate a prohibition on sex for pleasure)…cough…yeah, those three dudes finished in a three-way tie.
Oh puhlease…an 8-vote difference don’t mean shit.
This race is about delegates and all three walked away from Iowa with 7.
If this Caucus finish were an ice cream flavor it would be Neapolitan.
Anyhoo, Newt came in fourth after the threesome…and um, Rick Perry came in fifth…oh, and Michele Bachmann came in last.
Getting his ass handed to him made New Newt turn into Old School Angry Flushed Cheeked Nasty Newt...yeah, that small dawg kicking mean ass fucker I remember from the 80’s…only this time his rancidity is targeted at Mitt Romney.
Rick Perry is going home to assess whether there is a path forward to victory (translation – he’s going to drop out but needs guidance in how to do so and walk away with some leverage so he can salvage what’s left of his reputation and wield power at the convention thus continuing his minion-based service to the conservative masters who convinced his dumb ass to run in the first place).
Michele Bachmann is…um…well according to the Washington Post she’s hunting the political forest trying to find out where her Mama Grizzlies went.
***rubs hands together with absolute glee***
As expected, Iowa is trimming the fat off.
What was not expected was that the GOP would be so fragmented and undecided with just eleven months to go until Election Day.
New Hampshire is up next…and with Newt hurling hate and Santorum pandering to those who are more concerned with making all Americans live like cloistered nuns than the economy or job creation or our aging infrastructure or foreign policy or saving Medicare and Social Security…goodness - the Granite State’s primary may turn into an ultimate fighting match.
I’ll bring the
ice cream popcorn...