Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Neapolitan…

Iowans got their Caucus on yesterday and this morning all the political pundits are feasting on the first sorta-results of 2012.

Let’s jump in, shall we?

I watched my beloved Blues beat the Coyotes last night (happy dance) so I missed the endless live Caucus coverage. Not that it mattered, since Iowa decided to be all dramatic and take all night to bring forth the tightest finish in the history of the Iowa Caucuses.

Daaaamn!

Romney, Paul, and Rick Santorum (yes, that would be the same man-on-dawg Santorum who gorged on Congressional pork while attempting to legislate a prohibition on sex for pleasure)…cough…yeah, those three dudes finished in a three-way tie.

What?

Oh puhlease…an 8-vote difference don’t mean shit.

This race is about delegates and all three walked away from Iowa with 7.

If this Caucus finish were an ice cream flavor it would be Neapolitan.

Shit.

Anyhoo, Newt came in fourth after the threesome…and um, Rick Perry came in fifth…oh, and Michele Bachmann came in last.

Getting his ass handed to him made New Newt turn into Old School Angry Flushed Cheeked Nasty Newt...yeah, that small dawg kicking mean ass fucker I remember from the 80’s…only this time his rancidity is targeted at Mitt Romney.

Rick Perry is going home to assess whether there is a path forward to victory (translation – he’s going to drop out but needs guidance in how to do so and walk away with some leverage so he can salvage what’s left of his reputation and wield power at the convention thus continuing his minion-based service to the conservative masters who convinced his dumb ass to run in the first place).

Michele Bachmann is…um…well according to the Washington Post she’s hunting the political forest trying to find out where her Mama Grizzlies went.

Blink.

Anyhoo…

***rubs hands together with absolute glee***

As expected, Iowa is trimming the fat off.

What was not expected was that the GOP would be so fragmented and undecided with just eleven months to go until Election Day.

New Hampshire is up next…and with Newt hurling hate and Santorum pandering to those who are more concerned with making all Americans live like cloistered nuns than the economy or job creation or our aging infrastructure or foreign policy or saving Medicare and Social Security…goodness - the Granite State’s primary may turn into an ultimate fighting match.

Pause...consider...continue.

Fantabulous!

I’ll bring the ice cream popcorn...

3 comments:

SimplyStated said...

Shark-Fu the only thing I disagree with you on is the following statement:

"What was not expected was that the GOP would be so fragmented and undecided with just eleven months to go until Election Day"

I feel this party has been fragmented since it let the Tea Party nutcases in thinking they could control them.

If the GOP had any balls left at all they would have shown the Baggers the door and told them "If your so hot and have all the answers then form and fund your own damn party."

But of course, this is the "Party of No" No more taxes, no more entitlements, no womens rights, no gay rights, no illegals, no education, no healthcare, no jobs (unless we outsource em)...which makes them actually the Party of No Balls.

I think the 3 biggest stories out of Iowa last night are the following:

1) The population of Iowa was 3,062,309 on July 1, 2011, a 0.52% increase since the 2010 United States Census. There are 2.1 million registered voters in Iowa.

Weather was not issue and yet...Roughly only 123,000 of 640,000 registered Republicans in the state turned out to vote.

If I'm the GOP I NEED TO BE BIG TIME WORRIED.


2)Voter breakdown was as follows: Romney 25%, Santorum 25%, Ron Paul 21%, Gingrich 13%, Rick Perry 10%, Michele Bachmann 5% and Jon Huntsman, who did not compete, 1%. Herman Cain received 58 wasted votes.

If I'm ANY of the GOP CANDIDATES AND GOP PARTY LEADERS, I have to be worried. Because what the voters said was "75% of us don't want Romney or Santorum;78% of us don't want Ron Paul and it progressively worse as it went along.

Romney actually polled less in Iowa this time around then he did in 2008.I guess some supporters either died off or moved out of state.

And here's an intriguing stat: 135 people, who could have stayed home and watched the Sugar Bowl, registered for the caucuses and then voted No Preference.

Ouch.Pause.Smile.Laugh.

3)Overall, the state of Iowa is representative of heartland America -- 37% registered independent, 32% Democrat and 30% Republican. But caucus-goers do not represent that political spread.

Instead, 88% of caucus voters in 2008 identified themselves as "conservative," and only 11% described their views as moderate. Nearly two-thirds were evangelical.

And the majority of these people were no shows. Ah...the best laid plans of rats and men. Maybe this was God's way of telling the GOP and the Tea Party....No.And to stop using his name in vain while prostituting their beliefs to the highest bidders.

Just sayin'....

Hattie said...

All that money, all that media coverage for that? The joke is certainly on the Republicans.

Anonymous said...

Shark Fu, why do a handful of people in a couple of states get to pick who becomes the candidate? This seems incredibly undemocratic.

I missed the primaries and watched Micheal Moore's "Capitalism, A Love Story," It was eye opening.

We 90%ers must be the ones to say no to these liars and thieves.