Friday, May 07, 2010

A Terminator situation…


Confession – a bitch doesn’t trust the stock market.  It has a look in its eye that screams at a bitch “I’m going to fuck you over and it’s not a question of if but when.”

Shall we?

Yesterday the stock market freaked out…lost it’s shit…had a total public melt down.

Speculation is that a trader typed in a sale for a fabillion trillion when it should have been a million…and then other traders responded by selling everything they could as fast as possible…and then the machines took over and took a single human fuck up followed by frantic reflex trading for a wild ride.

Financial pundits are now debating the cause and the fact that they can’t seem to agree on what caused this shit is enough to make this bitch ponder banking with my mattress.

Lawd, have mercy.

Some say that it was human error…others say that the machines that kicked in made all the mistakes…and still others are trying to link yesterday’s drama to the economic fubarity and civil unrest in Greece.

Yep, ‘tisn’t a matter of if but when.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

At least this public display of financial crazy has produced some fantabulous Terminator-based conspiracy theories!

Just think of it…what if this really is the rise of the machines?

Mmmhmm, what if the machines decided to flex their power or just got bored and decided that watching the ignorant masses freak out would be a fun afternoon diversion?

And they probably have red eyes…and are liquid-looking shape shifters…and our feeble bullets can’t kill them…and it’s only a matter of time before they tire of torturing us and seek to destroy all human kind!

Mercy.

Remember people, no fate but what we make.

Blink.

9 comments:

Michael Bersin said...

Then again, we can always barter with chickens for our health care needs after the titans of finance have collapsed the entire economy.

CeCe Savage said...

Lol! I love a good conspiracy theory. My favorite kind is the one where "the big bad something" is out to get everyone, that way we're all in the same fucked up boat.

The 20s Life

IseultTheIdle said...

Eh, my stocks have still yielded pretty good returns for me, even given that I lost about a year's worth of returns during the recent difficulties.

Diversify, invest in companies you know a little bit about, and recognize that the market is a long-term commitment.

Yvonne Rathbone said...

The voice of the stock market in my head is always, "I'M BASED ON RATIONAL CHOICE THEORY! RATIONAL CHOICE!! HOLY CRAAAAP!!!"

I don't think the machines are trying to take us down; they are laughing their asses off.

mtnbkr1984 said...

I love the machine conspiracy theories. I beg to differ. I have in the inside of too many of these stooopid boxes from hell. I realize is it a miracle that any of these machines work at all. The machines are barely able to do what we tell them. It humans weren't telling them what to do the machine would simply stop. Machines to blame? No, somebody just got greedy. That is what Wall Street rewards.

Anonymous said...

mtnbkr1984 you must work with a lot of Dells. LOL, just teasing. But I do think code will do us in. Nanobot flu.

C-Money

OnePower said...

This is the way I want to receive the daily news. Straight up no chaser. I love your style Sistah. I am going to learn a lot from you.

libhom said...

This kind of thing happens in barely regulated markets occurring in a society whose tax code treats speculating the same way as investing.

Diana said...

does this mean we need to keep Ah-nold around even after he f**ks up California because we're going to need the Terminator?

Jus' saying because honestly I'd like to be rid of him...