Let’s jump right on in, shall we?
A bitch is not a fan of the tan culture.
I don’t understand how the tanned look is considered healthy when skin cancer is the most common cancer in the world. Even if folks are able to tan without risking cancer, that shit ages the hell out of a body. I’ve noticed an increase in so-called age defying skin cream commercials that claim to erase lines and I can’t help but wonder why the fuck people don’t just avoid some motherfucking sun and save your damned money?
Confession – I don’t tan. I’m naturally brown, but I can achieve that dark chocolate look very easily (yes, black people tan too)…so I avoid the sun as much as possible. No, I’m not color-struck…I’m color sensitive (wink), which means that I don’t like my arms to be a different shade of brown than my legs. Trust a bitch - that shit happens in minutes and then I end up spending the entire summer with multi-colored limbs that never match. Plus, black people can get skin cancer too.
My major problem with tanning is the burning and peeling that comes with it. When I was a wee bitch in high school, fellow students would head to Spring Break looking relatively normal and come back red as a hot link. Then the peeling would begin and these people would get all excited as their second-degree burns healed enough for them to get their serpent on and peel skin. Ugh! Eventually, a nice brown body scar that these students called a base tan emerged and all of us were supposed to ooooh and ahh over that shit.
Lawd, have mercy!
Anyhoo, spring is in the air and that that means the tan season is about to kick in. This bitch thinks this is a good time to address that burn and peel mess.
If you tan and burn, please keep the serpentesque shedding stage of the process to your damn self.