The radio stations are already playing Christmas music 24/7 and this bitch is beyond over that shit.
Ugh!
Do they do it to punish us?
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Huh?
The thing is, there aren’t that many Christmas songs…and recording artists tend to record the same ten songs and try to put their own spin on it, so the masses end up listening to one hundred different versions of Let it Fucking Snow (shudder).
It makes a bitch hostile as a motherfucker!!
Pause...consider...continue.
Mayhap this will inspire my ass to figure out how to make my I Pod play in Miss SisterGirl Cabrio.
Shit.
Fuck it.
Onward to Thankful Day preparedness!
Newish readers should know that a bitch is all about preparedness, particularly during the holidays. One wouldn’t want to bunker down for a four-day holiday weekend and find out that your ass is out of vodka (gasp!) or that you don't have a damn thing to munch upon.
Blink.
Thus, the list.
Food-based munchables…
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Shark-Fu’s Corn Casserole Yumminess
Brother Rob Thurman's Green Bean Casserole
Mama Thurman's Stuffing
Sour Cream Potato Mash
Roasted bird
Bread-based something-or-other
C-Money’s Apple pie…it's mine, mine all MINE!!
C-money’s Sweet Potato pie
Ice cream…to put on the pie, for the love of al that’s fantabulous!
Ryan’s Divine Bread pudding…yumtastic!
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Drinkables...
Vodka…duh.
Grape cran…duh to the second power.
Citrus-based soda pop
Bourbon…from Kentucky, natch.
Holiday beer…for C-Money
Diet Coke…for Brother Rob Thurman
Meds…
Allergy pills…approved for high blood pressure because a bitch takes my pressure seriously
Tylenol…because something is going to work my nerves at some point (wince)
Viewage…
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Ordinary People…because ‘tis a tradition that puts this bitch in a holiday frame of mind (wink).
Red, White and Blue…if you have to ask then you don't need to know!
Fall-back films…
Watergate
Love Actually
The Exorcist...what?..as if you don't watch it every holiday...shit.
Blink.
Last but not least - for the dawgs…
Kibble and snackable dawg crisps
Chewing bones
And lots of people about to love on them!
Ah, the holidays...happy, happy, happy and joy times three!