Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Fubar Economics…

Cough.

A bitch’s Ebola-esque cough lingereth.

Ugh.

But I do feel better.

Anyhoo, I’ve been watching the media frenzy over The Big Bailout and my ass has been getting more and more disgusted with just about everyone. As I watched the news break…hard as a motherfucker…that the FBI is now investigating the very bitnesses that we the people are being asked to bail out it hit me…

Scooter B. (President Bush for the uninitiated) has achieved Absolute Fubar.

The dude has fucked up on all levels - education, international diplomacy, the war, natural disaster preparedness, the environment, social security reform, immigration reform, HIV/AIDS relief-leadership-prevention-funding-education, healthcare reform.

Hell, he hasn’t even managed to reduce the number of divorces between sanctified man on woman married people.

Now the economy has been turned into a rancid piece of shit that Scooter B.’s minions are trying to wrap up and re-gift as The Great Corporate Felon Bailout of 2008.

And we've still got months of this shit followed by years of clean-up to do.

Mmmhmmm - absolute fucking fubar.

If you don’t think they can fuck anything else up between now and the blessed end of our great national nightmare in January, you just sit a spell and these motherfuckers will prove you wrong.

Pause...consider...continue.

As a matter of fact this bitch is pretty sure that there's a minion working himself into a fit right now trying to prove that the economic crisis is the result of that Big Bang test creating a black hole in the middle of earth that sucked up our money so that he can then justify an invasion of Switzerland and we can take the fight to where the black hole creating enemies of capitalism live and not wait for them to try and test that theory on American soil.

Blink.

10 comments:

dinthebeast said...

I just heard an update on the old joke that chimpy was born on third base and somehow believes he's hit a triple: turns out he was born on third and tried to steal second.
We gotta tag his lame ass out.

-Doug in Oakland

Anonymous said...

You went "DEEP" on that 1 A.B.B.
20 thousand leauges under the sea "deep"...

RiPPa said...

Very good conspiracy theory. That Switzerland thing sounds plausible. You know how them folks like to take shit over. Plus I heard the rich muslims can be a bitch...even worse that the ones who throw rocks at tanks.

Black Mike said...

Many of us thought that the white conservatives and/or racists along with their ignorant minions of and not of color would never show any weakness in the face of reality. They would spew the same hatred and ignorance as if part of ‘the collective’. No cracks. Ever.

But, the pressure is increasing on the pipes and they are a bussin’. The present economic state of our great nation is scaring the shyt out of these people. And you can tell who has skin in the game. The backlash against the administration is deafening. Not from the left but, from the right. These sons and daughters of white privilege are knee-deep in Wall Street. Their 401k, Hedge Funds and Mutual Funds have gotten involved in all these fancy financial instruments like Off-Balance Sheet Entities (OBSE). Yes you read that correctly- OFF BALANCE SHEET! People felt it was cool to invest in stuff like this. Most Black & Brown people (who Neil Cavuto blames this crisis on) would laugh loudly if asked to invest in such an instrument. At least when we get in over our head with a mortgage we are smart enough to gamble someone else’s money and the asset would still be available for resale should we fail. But, these fancy schmancy tools were houses-of-cards built on houses-of-cards on the beach during Hurricane Ike… You get the point.

I digress.

Now white privilege (Big Up! to Tim Wise) is biting them in the ass all over the place: Cheney’s cronies are stealing money, Bush is again proving how little suited for the job he is, the savior-Sarah numbers are tanking, McCain is proving he is the same loose cannon he has always been (What is the over/under on McCain going into a tirade and trying to choke the shyt out of the Skinny Black Kid on Friday?), Wall Street-types are the REAL greedy welfare queens…

Like every real problem we have in this country, the power-elite are hiding their hands. They break, steal, torture, kidnap, bomb, send to war, marginalize and never accept true responsibility for their actions. Never get to the root cause. Never discuss how NOT tapping into the inexhaustible brilliance of ALL Americans is destroying us.

Forget the disease- FIX THE SYMPTOMS!!! NOW!!! Or the planet will spin off its access. But, for them this IS the reality. Their world is based on the position of unquestioned dominance they have usurped over the last five centuries. Therefore, the emperor admitting he has no clothes would be earth-shattering.

Tirade Off.

Black Mike

Rileysdtr said...

Ha! This "Rinso White" will give you 7-2 McCain blows a vein and has a fatal stroke Friday night. Of course, that's a sucker bet - he's far to closely handled these days. Instead he'll simply bare his fangs and talk about Hanoi over the top of the Moderator...

Hilary said...

I liked Jon Stewart's description of the financial crisis: "turd icing on the shit cake" that has been the last eight years.

the Inuriated Faggot said...

Hey ABB! I agree whole heartedly...there is still more to come...unfortunately, I don't think that we, the people, can handle it. I watched "Power Lunch" on CNBC today and they talked about how the AMERICAN people asked for NO REGULATION, the asked FOR LEGISLATION to buy houses...essentially placing the blame on the people...

My thought was...why did we have to have legislation to allow people to buy houses? If our American Dream was a reality for all, buying a house by legislating bad loans wouldn't have been an issue. I sort of see the fuck up on Wall and Main as a big bandaid trying to remind Americans that they can and SHOULD have it all...EVEN IF THEY CAN'T AFFORD IT. Also, allowing EVERYONE to afford expensive shit (even on bad credit) sort of makes people stop questioning the disparities in our society...

Oh, I could go on and on about this...I will summarize by saying that this economic crisis is not separate from the rest of our country's problems but merely a symptom...I mean really, privatizing profits and socializing debt...that's some scary shit!

Anyway, you have my phone number, CALL ME so we can talk about HEN!

HammerChe

Lee said...

"Scooter B"? Love it. That's hilarious. But what does it mean?

As you can probably tell from my photo, I'm from the state that foisted Scooter upon the world. Sorry about that. I swear, I've voted against him every chance I've gotten. The only time I didn't was when he unsuccessfully ran for Congress in the late Seventies, back when I was about 10 years old.

The cruel irony is that his first political success also marked the end of Ann Richards' political career. Ann Richards took shits that were smarter than GWB.

syinly said...

You are telling the truth. The trickle down plan did not work during the Regan era and it's not working now. Congrats on winning best blogger in the Lou.

Anonymous said...

A condenser (yes, that thing in your refrigerator/freezer) blew on the Large Hadron Collider, so particle #1 didn't come close to smashing. The fix is expected to take about 6-8 weeks. It must have been the Mother of All Condensers.

NancyP