Thursday, April 03, 2008

Taxes, death and trouble…

Lawd, have mercy, a bitch has to do my taxes.

Shit!

It’s not as if my taxes are terribly complex. My ass is broke and once a year that fucking EZ form confirms that shit for me. But motherfuck it all to hell if this bitch isn’t damned insulted to see how much I’m paying for fuckeduptitude!

Blink.

I get the city tax thing and, although I have issues with how those funds are being used, at least I can see some results.

And I guess I get the state tax thing too…although there are times when it feels as if I’m feeding kibble to a wolf currently stalking my ass.

But this bitch is pretty damned pissed to be paying for the tore up from the floor up, pork addicted, posturing career bullshit artists who couldn’t find their ass with both hands who make up the majority of our government!

This can not be good for my blood pressure.

And isn’t it fucking crazy?

Think about it!

This bitch knows people who get fired up when their $10 lunch is poorly prepared, but we all just take governmental fubar sitting down...in front of a computer...trying to make all those bloody numbers add up to a motherfucking refund.

Shit!

As Marvin sang, there's only 3 things for sure: taxes, death and trouble.

Sigh.

This bitch had better take care of number one or my ass is gonna catch some serious number three…

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sharkie hon, you actually want to get $0 or as close to it as possible on your taxes. If you get a refund, that's your money the government's been using all year and not paying you interest. A payment due is also not good. Either case warrants adjusting your witholdings. Keep up the great blogs!

Dusty said...

I thank Buddha that I am not in a position to file that ol 1099 anymore.

Of course that means I am now on disability..which sucks in it's own damn way. ;p

Shark-fu said...

Lawd, Anon!

I keep trying to get a $0 but last year I was way off. At least I didn't owe, but I hear you.

Fuck.

***pours another vodka cran and curses the tax demon***

a little bird said...

i love this blog, i'm going to link you if you don't mind. you write so well! i also hate bullshit taxes: but when in doubt, write it off!

Antonio said...

"But this bitch is pretty damned pissed to be paying for the tore up from the floor up, pork addicted, posturing career bullshit artists who couldn’t find their ass with both hands who make up the majority of our government!"

This sentence is gold.

Anonymous said...

Just be sure to keep good records because if you make just one tiny mistake you'll get the audit letter in the mail. That process will drag on for a year no matter what. It's a protection racket they run - just keep sending out the tax bill and hope she'll get scared and send us the money. Once you're on their list, it continues forever. I've been on their treadmill year after year.

Lora said...

Ha ha ha! "Fuckeduptitude". What a great word and soooo appropriate!

cr said...

ABB, if you know anyone who might qualify for the earned income tax credit, please make sure they learn about it. Even people who have no tax liability can claim it.

Unfortunately, lots of people don't claim it. The average credit is somewhere around $2000. That's a lot of money that could be helping people but isn't.