Monday, April 14, 2008

Get thee behind me, Rummy!

Rummy is back on the scene with a memoir set to be published in 2010.

Pause…wait for screams of horror to quiet down…continue.

Calm thyself, flock of bitchitude!

I know exactly what to do.

ABB’s imagining of exorcising Rumsfeld’s evil spirit from society as interpreted through a scene from The Exorcist…

ABB, whilst flinging drops of vodka cran at Rumsfeld: I cast you out, unclean foulness!
Rummy: Freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.
ABB: In the name of all that is logical, thought out or even slightly planned! The power of Spock commands you!
Rummy: As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.
ABB: Be gone rancid beast!
Rummy: Needless to say, the President is correct. Whatever it was he said.
ABB: The logic of Spock commands you! The power of logic and reason commands you! The logic of Spock commands you!
Rummy: [moans] There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. [spews pea soup across the room] That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know. [spins head in circle a couple of times]
ABB: Be gone! Merciful heaven, you stink. I cast thee out!

Lawd, where’s Dante’s Eighth Circle of hell when you need to cast someone into it?

13 comments:

jeem said...

Rummy's not worth good vodka cran. Use the really nasty cheap stuff; as a side benefit, it'll sting more.

Anonymous said...

It baffles me that people write autobigraphies, it seems so narcisistic and arrogant.

mikeinportc said...

LOL :)))

What jeem said . Old Swillwaukee Light , or similar would be better . Maybe close your eyes and use an unknown liquid? ;)

Angry African said...

It reminds me of George a Romero. Not your writing. Just Rummie.

elle said...

wait for screams of horror to quiet down I'm still laughing at that.

ouyangdan said...

:lol:

i needed to read this today.

i second jeem...get the stuff in the large plastic bottle.

Rileysdtr said...

Vodka cran? Oh, please. Use the only liquid a conservative truly fears: chardonnay...

TinaH said...

No, wait. I'm still screaming in horror.

MovieWatcher said...

I figured it would be a matter of time before he came out with a book

macon d said...

Yep, pure vanity. Rummy sure doesn't need the money, what with all he made on those bird flu vaccines. Oh, wait. . .

Macon D

http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

You left out the part where the Rummy mumbles, "Stuff happens" as he levitates off the bed while his head is twisting around, spewing green pea soup AND he throws an innocent bystander, some unsuspecting Army Reservist, out the third story window. He is sooooo missed.

Anonymous said...

I heard Rummy is going to write a book... maybe re-write history?

You certainly have him pegged!

Love your comments.

storm indigo said...

'whilst flinging drops of vodka cran at Rumsfeld'
oh, crap, I can't catch my breath.