A bitch reads it for the articles...

Okay, so a bitch finally received my naked ass Vanity Fair. Honest…there are naked women on the cover…naked Hollywood actors…oh, and a fully clothed Tom Ford.

A bitch was already prepared for this shit, having received one too many visits to this blog from Google surfing people trying to get a look at naked women on the cover of Vanity Fair. Somehow, a bitch posted about Vanity Fair and a certain Hollywood actor and Google did its thang…oh, fuck it. No, there are no naked Vanity Fair pictures here!

Anyhoo…a bitch was disturbed.

Tom Ford is fully clothed, which is noteworthy because a bitch thought he was all about being naked these days (wink). And the women are naked. Apparently, this was Mr. Ford’s vision of Hollywood…and a certain Graydon Carter of the Vanity Fair editing Graydon Carters was all for handing over this shit to Tom Ford…even the decision to keep a certain ass crack in, which Tom Ford specifically requested via yellow post-it.

Oh, Graydon! Shame on you.

A bitch was most disturbed by the fierce odor coming out of my Vanity Fair. Since it was wrapped in plastic when it finally made it to my door, a bitch was pretty sure it hadn’t been opened. Yet, it smelled like someone had mixed White Shoulders and Opium in one bottle then tossed in some ripe ass to spice it up. Lawd, it made my eyes water. One of those perfume advertisers lost their motherfucking mind! It’s bad enough to leak scent within my magazine, but to leak nastified scent is going too far.

Whew.

Anyway, the thing about these pictures is that a bitch can’t understand what the fuck they have to do with Hollywood, acting or the work these women did this past year. Oh, and why is Tom Ford in there trying to get in where he fits in? Get naked if you want to, ladies...whatever…but someone in the room should have questioned the relevance of this move.

Sigh.

Long ago, these type of career decisions involved a shady manager, several bottles of 'dolls' and martinis...lots of martinis.

Or did y’all simply fold to Tom Ford’s will like Graydon dearest did?

A bitch could have lived a lifetime without dipping into Tom Ford’s fantasies. They were at once so very 'dirty old man' and yet so typically Victorian. Did someone read Fanny Hill recently, darling?

And Graydon? Talk about expanding readership! Hef better watch his back (wink)…

Rovian Obsession - A Dreamesque Thang...

A bitch just couldn’t get Hillary Clinton out of my mind yesterday. Well, actually my mind was…well, obsessing about Hillary’s statement that Karl Rove is obsessing about her. Lawd, my imagination went wild with this shit!

ABB’s Dream About Karl’s Obsession with Hills (we're tight like that) Clinton…
A certain Karl Rove sat in his favorite leather chair toasting his feet in front of the fireplace. It was a rare evening home for Karl and he struggled to relax…bourbon in hand and jazz on the radio.

Closing his eyes he couldn’t help thinking about her…the woman who haunted his every waking moment and tormented his dreams.

Hillary…oh, glorious Hillary! Why couldn’t he stop thinking about the unattainable?

Slowly Karl opened his eyes and gazed about the dimly lit room. As the music of Kenny G. floated about him, he took in his shrine to Hillary. The walls were covered in framed pictures of her…at college, at law school, in Arkansas, as First Lady and as Senator.

Karl sighed and sank back into his chair.

Lawd, if she only knew how he adored her! If she only knew that he would leap gleefully to the left if only to get one harsh word from her!

But Hillary was not for Karl…and Karl was left with his shrine-like room.

The knock at the door caused Karl to start and spill a wee bit of bourbon.

“What? Damnit all to hell, didn’t I tell you not to disturb me?”...he shouted.

Behind the door came a soft response.

“Sir, there’s something I think you should see.” His assistant/cook/attendant/serf replied.

“Oh very well. Come in.” Karl sighed.

The door opened and Karl’s serf like assistant entered the room. His eyes darted to the multitude of pictures on the wall. Lawd, he thought, this man is such a freak! Carefully masking his expression, the serf-like servant approached Karl.

“Sir, take a look at the paper!” he gasped.

Karl took the newspaper and quickly scanned the front page. His mouth dropped open in shock.

“She knows! How could she possibly know?” he whispered and tore his eyes from the paper to pin his serf-like servant with a cold stare.

“Sir! I have no idea! I’ve said nothing about…”

His frantic statement was cut off sharply by a vicious slap across the face.

“You did this! I should have never trusted you!” Karl raged.

Carefully wiping tears of pain from his face, the serf-like servant composed himself.

“Sir, this is not such a bad thing. You’ve waited all these years to gain Mrs. Clinton’s notice. Now you have it!” he managed, moving a careful distance away.

“Perhaps you are right! Maybe now we can be joined together in eternal...”

The door flew open and there stood Harriet Miers, her face contorted in rage.

“You asshole! You tow timing asshole! Hillary fucking Clinton? Gawd, you are such a perverse asshole!” she screamed.

Suddenly her wild eyes took in the shrine to Hillary on the walls.

“Oh my Gawd, Karl. Oh my goodness. You’re ill…you need help! I adore you and…”

“Shut the fuck up, Harriet. We only had that one night and I was very drunk. Hillary is the one for me!” he paused to regain his composure.

“I see such bitterness in her…a perfect bitter anger that I am unable to resist!”

Harriet threw her head back and laughed.

“Bitter! Bitter? You stupid, stupid man. No one does bitter like a republican! Just look at Bay Buchanan! And I can out bitter that woman any day!” she turned, and then shot his a withering glance over her shoulder.

“One day you’ll realize that all the truly bitter women are within your own party, Karl. One day. Trust me on that!” and Harriet exited to room slamming the door sharply behind her.

But Karl wasn’t paying attention. He returned to his seat and his bourbon with thoughts of Hillary 2008 swimming through his crazed and demented mind…

Mercy.

Who needs soap operas when you’ve got politics? These people are a fucking festival of drama!

Reflections Assisted by PBS...

This bitch is currently enjoying a book sent as a gift, Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil by Inga Muscio. Very stimulating…very, very stimulating! A bitch is getting fired up!

2 cups coffee with Splenda and 1% organic milk, 1 Claritin, oh no! No Sudafed!!!...GULP! And cigs…

Fully congested but bravely moving forward…



Reconstruction…
A bitch caught some good programming on PBS this month. They aired several shows in honor of Black History Month and this bitch was particularly interested in Reconstruction, Jesse James and the St. Louis World's Fair. This bitch, being a Missouri raised bitch, has long heard the tale of Jesse James from his numerous ‘relations’ scattered about the state. Apparently Jesse was a wee bit of a rascal about town…if you know what a bitch means (wink). Although Missouri adores Jesse James, most references to him leave out his passionate support of the Confederacy, membership in the violent Missouri insurgency and general refusal to surrender after the Union was preserved. Oh…and they leave out his family's ownership of slaves too.

Thankfully, PBS decided to tackle the Jesse James myth and the reasons folks hold on to it like a life-line.

Anyhoo…Reconstruction aired first. Y'all should have seen the amazing pictures featured in this segment! A bitch couldn’t help but think of the Gulf region after Katrina. Jesus, Katrina swept through the Gulf like Sherman on his merciless march and this bitch couldn’t get those dual images out of my mind.

A devastated south…masses of displaced citizens…homeless, abandonded and politically inconvenient brown faces…and politics ladled on top like flavorless and watered down cold assed gravy.

And what to make of the latest reconstruction effort. Seems like the same elements are in play. The current administration does not wish to crush the Gulf, but they also do not want to reward the region for willfully standing them down during the post hurricane debacle. Added to that, is the ability to rebuild in their image…a new Gulf region reflecting the Gulf as outsiders would prefer to see it. Which is pretty close to what went down after the Civil War, and that shit only served to pour salt in those southern wounds and reinforce distrust for the whole process.

The stakes are just as high. A few mistakes…a few errors in judgment…just a little trust put to the left when it should have gone to the right or to the right when it should have gone to the left and BAM…you’ve got a motherfucking separatist movement that will thrive in certain regions for over 100 years.

Mmmhmmm…which brings me to Jesse James.

See, Jesse was a border raised Missouri boy to his core. He was pro-slavery, pro-Confederacy…his values and beliefs solidified by the Missouri/Kansas Border War. As most Missourians know, we owe much of our present inability to move beyond to the racial and political divides of the Civil War to our states unique style of Civil War expression…guerilla, militant and brutal to the point of nastification.

Example - after slaying 100 unarmed union soldiers then removing their scalps, genitals and ears…well, it’s a wee bit hard to make nice a few years down the road.

So, regions of Missouri sob over their Civil War battle fields and honor Confederate Remembrance Day and the ‘big cities’ cast desperate eyes to the Devine One and pray that ‘those people’ wake up and realize this war is beyond done…been done…DONE! For the love of Gawd...DONE!

Whew.

Anyhoo…

Jesse never gave up the war. An interesting component of Missouri’s inability to get with the program was the post Civil War disenfranchisement of pro-Confederacy loyalists. Some people were relocated in an attempt to break up insurgent connections and many lost the right to vote during Reconstruction. As a result, these disenfranchised people witnessed Reconstruction…they didn’t participate in it. And they wanted ‘their’ Missouri back.

Lynching…intimidation….segregation and racial tensions lay in the wake of Reconstruction in Missouri. Clearly, Jesse wasn’t alone in his barely controlled fury over a defeated south. The fire was never really put out…embers long tended were easily stirred to flame and Missouri...hell, America...hasn’t been truly united since.




Which brings a bitch to the final show my ass watched this month on PBS…The St. Louis World’s Fair documentary. Specifically, the segment addressing the issue of segregation at the Fair…our Fair…that motherfucking 1904 World's Fair that St. Louis still gets misty about.

Fair attendance was segregated…'negro day' was handled with mixed results, since several vendors refused to serve blacks for fear of loosing white business. One of our city's greatest achievements…like so many parts of the city, built in part with minority labor and participation…became a demonstration of our city's greatest failure.

St. Louis, forever trapped in black and white.

This bitch watched some good shit on PBS this month. Now, as Black History Month comes to an end and the media begs American to remember that the Gulf was hit by a hurricane, all this bitch can do is shudder and sigh.

The challenges are so similar…to reconstruct, heal and revitalize. This time the ingredients appear less volatile, yet the residue of injustice unaddressed still coats our victory pan.

And will our nation turn away…just like before…exhausted by the struggle, discouraged by the distance yet to walk and desperate for denial.

Will this new reconstruction remain half-baked in a forgotten cold oven, within the dirty kitchen of America's house still divided?

Again...

This bitch had a fantastically wonderful birthday celebration of bitchitude! Since my ass doesn’t own a digital camera (color me old school), please check out my brother in bitchitude, Blood Ray, for pics.

Sadly, a bitch was not able to get my act together regarding All About Ann…theatrical organization is hard as a motherfucker! But plans are in the works for A Night of A Thousand Anns. Current plans are to have folks attend as Ann Coulter or an Anti-Ann Coulter themed thang.

Whew!

Anyhoo…so much to bitch about and so little time!

Jumping in with the first dose of bitchitude...

Again...
It didn’t take those motherfuckers long, did it? South Dakota has passed a piece of shit the size of...well, Montana through their state legislature. The Governor plans to sign it…and ban all abortions in the state with no exceptions for cases of rape or incest. Oh…but they’re willing to be compassionate if a woman’s life is in the balance.

Nice of them, huh?

So, now what? Well, Planned Parenthood has promised to fight this shit. And that fight will likely end up in the Supreme Court…which is now well stocked with anti-choice freaks.

Mercy!

This bitch is disgusted, disturbed and freaked out. Americans have an amazing ability to forget the not so distant past.

That foggy thang called history…when women had no choice. And a bitch can’t help but wonder how far this assault will go.

A bitch sees beneath the scab…to the puss ridden infection that is the true debate.

This battle is about choice...all choice. The unspoken war cry is for government control over women’s bodies, health and decisions. The leap from abortion to birth control to all control is a series of small skips and a bitch simply can’t understand why motherfuckers can’t see this for what it is!

How long will it take for these motherfuckers to start challenging the pill? Seriously, they are already munching like ravenous beasts on the morning after pill, sex ed and the ability to seek medical advice and contraception without parental consent.

This is a war and abortion is the first front!

There is a part of me that almost wants to see America experience life without choice…again. Mayhap the pain, suffering, botched back alley medical torture and general degradation will bring about some motherfucking sanity...again.

But the cost of re-learning the already learned...the painful lessons of America without choice...those costs are too high to endure...again.

In lives.

In damage to our society.

In all the things that we say we value then turn around and willfully flush down the toilet as if these rights were an afterthought and not won through the blood, sweat, tears, struggle...oh yes, and the lives of too many.

Lawd, give me strength.

Yeah, we will do this...again.

We can re-learn the already learned…again.

Re-educate the masses by bearing witness to suffering...again.

But how many of us want to pay the cost of this war...again?

It’s February 27, 2006 and a bitch hears the sound of war in the air.

Again.

Mercy...not again...

Off until Monday...!

A bitch has been busy as a motherfucker!

Bitchitude shall return Monday...

Toodles!

Japan's golden moment...

C-Money and this bitch caught the Women's Figure Skating finale last night. My ass wasn't surprised by the United States performance...unlike everyone at NBC.

Emily Hughes was a joy! Bless her for actually having fun out there!

Sasha did what Sasha does. It's not her fault that the weight of the world was heaped on her shoulders by the desperate for ratings by any means necessary NBC public relations team.

Kimmie will be back and she has much to be proud of!

But the night belonged to a beautiful, talented and accomplished skater from Japan. Her face said it all...the determination, the nerves, the anxiety, the shocked joy and the bewildered pride as she stepped onto the top podium and into Olympic history.

Her name is Shizuka Arakawa...and last night she was golden.

Friday Night Bitchfest!

Mmmkay...

Sweetie Pie's at 6:30pm for smothered Mississippi goodness. Note to vegetarians: y'all might want to skip this one since almost everything is cooked with some manner of meat. Feel free to join us (love ya!!), but a bitch doesn't want anyone to get ill or violate some sort of serious thang.

Post Sweetie Pie's all parties will converge on AMP (they've been warned) for vodka crans and debauchery. Try to house shots...yum!

All About Ann is slightly up in the air, but a reading may take place...who the hell knows! A bitch knows that my ass isn't cut out for theatre...LAWD!

Anyhoo...see you!

Shit storms on top of shit storms...

This bitch had a wonderfully indulgent birthday! Cupcakes, yummy potent berry-like shots and vodka crans were all consumed in vast quantities.

Let’s just jump right in, shall we?

Dubai or not Dubai?
This bitch has witnessed with some amusement the mass revolt against a certain President Scooter B. by the party faithful and Democrats in protest of the pending handover of 6 United States ports to a company owned by the United Arab Emirates.

This situation brought to light the fact that ports are foreign owned/operated in the first place. It also threw into the spotlight the negative side of this administrations pitch to not trust anything Middle Eastern.

Members of the United States government from both sides of the aisle are calling for a hold on this pending deal. They have expressed concerns that the United Arab Emirates has connections to Al Qaeda…two of the September 11 highjackers were from the UAE. And there is the ever present concern that most items shipped through United States ports go unscreened…which is troublesome no matter which country owns the port.

Scooter B. is once again surprised that he no longer holds the trust of the masses. He has threatened a veto of any legislation presented to halt the deal and even went so far as to accuse opponents of the deal of being racist against the UAE. Basically, Scooter B. feels that the UAE is an ally and that we should “reward” our allies for “playing by the rules”.

Further complicating the situation is the fact that our friends in London, who apparently owned the port, are selling it and really don’t want to hear us fuss about them selling something to whomever they want to.

And so chaos reigns again in Washington D.C.!

Senator Joe Biden…Joey B. to this bitch…made the case against the deal on CNN this morning.

“Columbia is our ally in the War on Drugs and I don’t see us putting them in charge of immigration or border control”…or something like that came out of Joey B. on CNN.

Nice.

To which the President’s minions are replying…this deal has been “scrubbed” and is not putting America at risk, y’all need to trust us and shut the fuck up.

Hmmmm.

And there in is the motherfucking problem. Scooter B. is facing two storms of his own creation.

Storm #1 – The Loosing of Hearts and Minds Domestically
Scooter B. is a fuck up. Amazingly, the American people can withstand multiple examples of fuckeduptitude before they feel compelled to call anyone on it. Thus, Scooter B. has been living with a false sense of security…believing that his 'say it and it will be' tactics would hold until he could flee Washington for Texas and put this whole nasty leadership experience behind him.

But the people are now doubtful…and Congress is in revolt. Democrats are seizing on this public relations debacle to get some footing in the domestic security game. Republicans, having recently checked out Scooter B.’s ass in search of coattails are now horrified at the notion of midterm elections on his fubar record.

This bitch thinks that this incident exposes the weakness in Rovian diplomacy. Rove is the great brand generator, but has failed in actual policy development. Karl, as the man behind Scooter B.'s 'say it and it will be' technique, may have actually believed that shit. Now they are all faced with a rather bitter harvest…and attacks on an international deal tied to our nation’s integrity and honesty at the negotiating table.

Way to fucking go!

Storm #2 – You ordered it and now you’ve got to eat it
The public relations machine behind Scooter B.’s power brilliantly seized upon his perceived strength in the national security arena and rode that horse all the way back to the White House. The strategy was simple. America has enemies, only Scooter B. and his minions appreciate just how much those enemies hate us, we live in a post-September 11th world, be very afraid, Osama is still out there planning tons of shit and then be very afraid some more.

It worked…perhaps a wee bit too well.

The American people are now conditioned to distrust all things Middle Eastern. So, when the same President who told them a region was our enemy then turns around and says 'my bad, what I meant to say was some folks in the region' it looks like, smells like and is bullshit. The people don’t want to hear that the United Arab Emirates are our ally. The people don’t want to hear that we should trust them. Because the people have not seen a tangible victory in the Middle East.

See, Scooter B. and the minions of D.C. created a monster in the image of the Soviet Union, Germany and Japan. Their spin lumped the entire Middle East into one big pile of danger, our war as the war to end all wars, Iraq and the only hope for regional stability and victory as a defined thing. In that screenplay, the American people are anticipating a huge battle against this single regional enemy which will result in a triumphant American victory…a formal surrender and some sort of treaty signing…a decade of stereotypical bigotry and distrust…and the slow rebuilding of a relationship in which said single regional enemy understands who Daddy is.

Now, a bitch would like to be optimistic about this shit. Really, my ass would! But this administration doesn’t have a good track record with handling huge ‘you should have anticipated this shit and were warned it would happen but now you wanna act surprised then fuck up the management, clean up and all things related’ storms…much less two right on top of each other.


Do they, chil’ren?

Loving on Bitch Magazine...

Bitch Magazine is 10 years old!

Congratulations and thank you too.

Get Bitch gear and subscribe!

Birthday fantabulousness and some inner work...

Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes to this bitch!

This is also my blog anniversary…and trust that this bitch never thought my ass would be saying that.

One year ago, Brother Rob Thurman gave this bitch a birthday present and a bitch is grateful. To be honest, my ass enjoyed reading blogs but never envisioned myself writing one. But this has become quite a fun place to voice my opinions, share my thoughts and practice the fine art of bitchitude.

Thanks Rob.

Moving forward and feeling every one of my 33 years…

Some inner work...
A bitch has a pet peeve that is worthy of exploration on my birthday.

Ageism.

A bitch entered the corporate world a wee bit younger than some…not younger than all. At 20, this bitch fell victim to age specific discrimination. My first job was in an office full of women in both management and support roles. And the office was racially diverse. Yet, a bitch was subjected to passive aggressive digs, inappropriate use of language and some overt discrimination based on my age.

Now this bitch has been around enough people of varying ages to know that age is nothing but a number. My ass was quite disappointed to witness that getting older didn’t mean getting wiser.

A bitch knows better than to connect age with wisdom. Some dumb motherfuckers are more than double my age and some wise people are half my age...and vice versa.

Yet lately this bitch has found myself saying that a person’s stupid behavior is because they are “young” and have some “living yet to do”.

Gasp!

And nothing pisses me off more than practicing a behavior with others that annoys the hell out of me when others do it to me. Shit and double shit!

So, a bitch is going to address this issue and do some inner work.

No more "girl", "kid" or "youngster"!

Gawd, a bitch can’t stand that shit.

Whew.

A bitch feels better now.

And once this bitch has completed my inner work, my ass can then begin calling motherfuckers out when they do it to me (wink).

Ahhh…the joy of self improvement!

A Quizzical...

A bitch was thinking about the recent church fires down South. They are believed to be linked and it seems that investigators have some good leads. Hopefully, they can solve these crimes quickly before more historic churches burn to the ground.

No, this bitch is not a church going gal. But a bitch respects all places of worship... particularly small older churches where the history is written into every age spot on the floor and every nick on the wall. A bitch grew up in a small yet overflowing historic black Baptist church...the kind that heats up like a furnace 15 minutes after serviec begins and makes Sister So & So rapidly fan herself for fear of presperation.

My ass was wondering what the major 'war on Christianity' organizations were saying about these fires. A bitch thinks that the War on Christmas was up to debate, but a bitch can’t argue that someone has a beef with something when they commit arson and target so many churches in such a short time.

So this bitch took a detour and visited both Focus on the Family and Southern Baptist Convention online. In the past, these web sites have been used to rally the faithful on all manner of topics.

Well, Focus on the Family had nothing about the church arsons! Nothing at all. They weren’t even listed as a Hot Topic, like single parenting, homosexuality, abortion and porn! Clearly, they are distracted by the upcoming meeting of gay non-gay gays here in St. Louis this weekend. And who would dare question them coming here to attemtp to degayify gay gays rather than going down South to help small communities rebuild their church homes?

Umm...you got it in one. This bitch!

Moving forward...

The same was true of Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), which did have an Adopt a Church link but that was related to churches damaged in Hurricane Katrina or Rita. They also dedicate extensive web space to the SBC Annual Meeting in Greensboro…hurry up y'all and get a 'group rate' discount!

Mercy.

And so a bitch was left feeling quizzical about this.

One would think that these organizations would be all over this news. At the very least a bitch would have hoped that these two sites would have something set up for concerned members to donate to help rebuild these small rural churches...many of which were Baptist and of various racial and cultural backgrounds.

And what of the mega churches that now dominate some cities? Why not call for them to scale back on some project…yeah, put that indoor pool on hold and help rebuild a rural church burned to the ground.

Huh?

Yeah, a bitch isn't holding my breath.

Sigh.

But a bitch is happy to report that local churches and volunteers are stepping up and helping out.

Mayhap the enraged mega church attending anti-choice degayification convention holding Evangelical faux-community could learn a lesson from the emotionally connected, underfunded yet willing to help out a neighbor real community…

Clean...

My fondest birthday wish is that folks get out and volunteer in their communities. Yeah, it’s kind of corny but a bitch doesn’t need much for myself except to be among friends and family…and vodka and cran (wink). Whether through work or some other outlet, this bitch sincerely wishes that everyone experience the satisfaction of being a volunteer!

And on that note with extreme happiness at a birthday present a day early…

Clean…
This bitch started volunteering in the St. Louis community several years ago. Although my background is not in social work or mental health, this bitch found being a volunteer to be both rewarding and not all that hard. There were tons of resources and people to help me out and the young women at the shelter are amazing and inspiring too.

My first year volunteering at the shelter was the ultimate learning experience. The shelter houses 10 families of single teen moms and their chil’ren. Some of the moms had an unplanned pregnancy and some of them were pregnant as the result of rape. All of them were homeless and the shelter provided mental health counseling, transitional housing support and assistance with continuing education and job placement. Although a bitch tried to remain detached and just teach my classes, my ass quickly bonded with some of the young women.

One young lady in particular really worked her way into my heart. She was very shy and withdrawn, even with her 2 month old little girl. And, therefore, a bitch was challenged to make her feel at ease and get her excited about the various topics. Over time she began to get more vocal and engage in our various discussions. She was so bright and serious…a mother at 16 years old with so much responsibility on her shoulders.

One day we were chatting after class and a bitch shared with her how impressive her work was. She ducked her head and said that there was nothing impressive about her.

“You don’t know me. I’m not special at all. I’m not clean and I’ll never be clean again.”

A bitch asked her what she meant, careful to keep my voice even and my tone without judgment.

She then shared with me that she had been raped. She did not report the incident to police. Three months later she found out she was pregnant. A few weeks after that, her family booted her out of the house.

While struggling to remain calm, my ass also struggled against rage. No woman should have to endure what this young woman went through. A bitch talked to her about her dreams and hopes…her plans and fears…her insecurities and self doubt. She was seeing a counselor, working full time and studying for her GED.

With classes each week and sometimes on the weekend, a bitch saw this young woman a lot. When our classes came to an end, a bitch was thrilled to hear that she was moving into transitional housing with her baby. She had completed her GED and was now working full time. A bitch moved on to a new set of young mothers, but that young woman never left my mind or my heart.

So, this morning a bitch called the shelter to schedule my voter education classes. After some general conversation and serious scheduling, my contact shared that this young mother had called the shelter to inquire about me a few weeks ago. She wanted to know if 'that proper talking girl still taught those classes’. Just hearing that brought a smile to my face.

“How is she doing, by the way?”…my ass couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, she’s having the darndest time!”... my contact stated.

Oh no! A bitch’s stomach dropped. Shit!

“She’s had to reschedule her second semester classes around work and is frustrated. But we told her that this might happen and it will all work out."

What? Second semester classes?

Yes, that young woman who touched my soul was trudging her way through college. She wants to be...will be...a social worker. And she wanted to know if a bitch still taught classes there because she was interested in dropping by and saying hello.

We hooked up on the phone a few minutes ago and a bitch hopes to see her next week and hear all about the perils of college (wink).

A bitch is sharing this story with her permission. She got a real kick out of my request and a bitch got a real kick out of hearing her laugh. She told me laughingly that she started out wanting to prove me wrong…that she wasn’t capable of the things a bitch kept telling her she was capable of…that she was somehow forever flawed. But then she started to enjoy the small successes, the feeling of achievement when she received her GED…the feeling of accomplishment when she paid her bills and cleaned her home. And she just wanted to let me know that she was happy…pissed at her new schedule at school, but happy. Her baby is a wild child, she said, with that quirky parental pride in her voice.

And this bitch can’t wait to see them both next week…its like knowing what my present is, but having to wait a week to unwrap it!

In my few years as a volunteer my ass has seen the good, the bad and the ugly. For every success story there is one of a continued struggle, and for every one of those there is the possibility of success, however it is defined.

Of all the things a bitch could have been given for my birthday a day early, hearing that one of my first sorta-students was living…participating…surviving and so much more just made my fucking year!

Clean.

Torino - The Battle of a Bitch's Flee-to Countries!

UPDATE: Congratulations Team Canada for a fantabulous Gold Medal victory in Women's Hockey!

And major congratulations to Team Sweden for taking the Silver and Team USA for taking the Bronze!

Okay, so a bitch had to take some time to recover from Sweden’s resounding defeat of the U.S. Women’s Hockey Team in Torino. My ass has concluded that any team or indivudual who talks to Katie Couric prior to competing is doomed to fail...DOOMED! The woman is a curse walking!

Sob.

Lawd, a bitch was unable to cheer properly for Sweden out of respect and loyalty for the U. S. Women's Hockey team...who then got blown away by Sweden in a rather good reenactment of the 1980 U.S. Men's Hockey Miracle on Ice. And, hello...we're supposed to win those reenactments ladies!

Sob again.

And it doesn’t get easier!


Tonight, Sweden and Canada skate against each other for the Gold! Umm, and Silver.

Oh, the horror!

Nothing to do but inhale Smarties and just watch the whole thing unfold via satellite television!



But a bitch has been justified in my chosen flee to lands. Silver and Gold in women’s hockey…which is the element all flee-to countries should be judged on.



Enter into history, Shani Davis...
Congrats to a certain United States Speed Skater for representing the South Side of Chicago all the way to a gold medal!

Go on, with you bad self…

Oh...yeah...and congrats the the United States Women's Hockey team for winning Bronze. Y'all stick rock in a bitch's book!

Some thoughts...

This bitch had a fantastically lazy weekend, which my ass needed in a big way.

AngryBlackBitch Festitude Update…
Lawd, a bitch’s birthday is this Wednesday! Okay, a bitch has planned this shit as much as my ass plans to plan it. Friday night a bitch shall indulge in a feast of smothered yumminess at Sweetie Pie’s. This bitch is thinking 7ish.

Festivities shall then move to AMP on Manchester. Vodka crans will be consumed and then things will simply evolve. A bitch hates to over structure my debauchery (wink), so my ass will simply say that we’ll be at AMP for some time or until they throw us out.

Educating voters…
A bitch has been planning my 2006 Voter Education curriculum. As some of you know, this bitch conducts voter education classes at several area women’s shelters. Each year, a bitch goes through all things government and voting related. There is nothing more powerful than an educated voter. My classes kick off with the United States Citizenship Test, which is kind of fun to take if you are already a citizen. Give it a whirl! It’s amazing how many of us blessed with citizenship at birth couldn’t pass this thing…sad and amazing. Anyhoo, this bitch is excited to get down to business and register these young women to vote!

Some thoughts on control and anger...
Since a bitch is an angry bitch, my ass gets a lot of anger-related feedback. Many people are rather angry that other people get angry! Lawd, y’all should have seen how many angry motherfuckers materialized after my King Kong post.

Anger scares some people because it is associated with a loss of control. A bitch sees anger as another expression of passion…and this bitch has nothing but pity for people who fear passion. Anti-anger advocates concern me…they seek to remove passion because it fuels action and Gawd forbid the masses get off their fucking asses and act on some shit. These anti-anger advocates would rather see the masses peacefully eat their Soylent Green, never questioning the ingredients.

A bitch once met a man who said he never got angry. He and his wife nodded…calmly…and he went on to say that he didn’t 'care for' anger. This bitch couldn’t help but mourn the fact that this fellow has never enjoyed some of the side benefits to relationship anger...a good angry bout of sex or even make up sex after a massively angry fight. And what of his blood pressure? All that pent up rage...because everyone gets angry or takes meds to inhibit getting angry...isn't healthy.

My ass wanted to take him aside and tell him that he was missing out on all those passionate juices getting stirred up. Jesus, he probably never lost control…never threw anything or tore something up…never threw caution to the wind…never gave a shit enough to loose control. And looking at him, a bitch saw the absence of passion….neither dark nor light…never reaching the agony or the ecstasy of full emotional expression.

For about an hour a bitch was truly concerned for this couple. Then my ass said fuck it...they’ve made their bed and chosen to lay in it very calmly and with extreme civility.

This bitch favors the control of loosing control. A bitch adores the explosion and doesn’t mind cleaning up the mess.

And this bitch rejects the notion that passion and anger are inappropriate. That school of thought harkens back to the days when 'good girls' didn’t raise their voices, break a sweat or have an orgasm. Generations have suffered and struggled so that we can shout, scream and let some energy out.

So, scream...

Shout!

Go on, now...

Let some energy out!

By request...Betsey the sorta-beagle!

This is Betsey the sorta-beagle. She's not sad...that's just her face.

Betsey is a retired hunting dawg. Well...to be honest, a bitch suspects the phrase 'that hound don't hunt' might apply to Miss Thang thus she was booted from the pack.

Their loss...a bitch's gain!

And Betsey got a cool tattoo out of it (on her belly, but you can't really see in this picture).

Toodles!

Fear followed by loathing...

We’re gonna jump right in, chil’ren…

A curious advertisement appeared in Newsweek magazine’s February 20, 2006 edition. On page 75 there is a full page policy statement from an organization called Coalition for a Humanistic Euro-British Canada. A bitch did a quick Google search and found a CBC write up about the same policy statement. The Coalition for a Humanistic Euro-British Canada (whew...wordy as a motherfucker) would like to limit immigration to Canada to include only Europeans and Brits. They would also like to see English become universally adopted as the official language for the world. Which begs the question…does this motherfucker not realize that English is not universally spoken in Europe?

Anyhoo...

This bitch found it fascinating that this ad would be placed in Newsweek here in the United States. A bitch isn’t saying that Newsweek shouldn’t have taken the ad…but it is curious that this very Canadian issue should be advocated here. Could it be that Michael Chessman, founder of this coalition, is trying to rally a North American European/British immigration push? A bitch decided to ask Mr. Chessman via e-mail…he has yet to respond. But then it did come from angryblackbitch@yahoo.com (wink).

The obvious flaw here…please let it be obvious…is that limiting immigration to Europeans and/or Brits in no way guarantees that those immigrants will be white. There are multi-generational families of various cultural backgrounds who are European or British. But it seems clear that Mr. Chessman would like to see some white immigrants come forth and repopulate Canada. But that’s not right, either…Canada, like the United States, was pre-populated with First Nations long before the European invasion.

Hmmm. That’s a tough one. Clearly Michael said fuck it…he wants 'English speaking immigrants' and he wants them now!

A bitch sees this issue with American eyes.

Fear followed by loathing…
A bitch lives in St. Louis and St. Louis is an immigrant city. The French founded it and the masses followed. Italians, Germans, Irish and so forth all made the River City their home. And each new group was treated to the legendary St. Louis cold shoulder.

We are slow to warm up unless you went to high school here (go Vikings!).

Most blacks originally came to Missouri as slaves, but a huge population immigrated here during the great Northern migration in the 1900’s. Chinese immigrants settled here too, following the westward expansion of the country. Later years have brought immigrants from just about everywhere, most recently Bosnia.

Yeah…St. Louis, like all of America, has always been a haven for immigrants.

And with immigration comes ignorance, discrimination, oppression and bullshit built on a foundation of low self esteem and fear.

When this bitch attended college out East my ass found out that quotas had existed at elite universities that restricted Jews from attending.

A bitch lived in Boston and learned that storefronts used to have signs that read Irish need not apply.

A bitch visited New York and learned that horrible stereotypes and depictions were widely accepted about Italian immigrants.

This bitch lives in St. Louis, where street names were changed during World War II to erase the city's German heritage.

And in East St. Louis there was a horrific race riot in the early 1900s that resulted from white worker's fears that relocating black laborers would take their jobs at a lower wage.

The same might not be true of Canada, but American immigration policy is well interpreted through fear and loathing. The 'original other' acting in fear against the 'new other'.

What gets lost in the deep valley of insecurity and self doubt is the fact that diversity was part of the American experiment from day one.

And a bitch has always been fascinated by people who automatically assume that they are being denied or threatened when someone else is given an opportunity.

Did that 'other' get the job you should have...or did the 'other' get the job you weren't ever going to get?

Maybe it’s just less painful on that ego to blame the Bosnian next door…

A bitch will letcha know if Mr. Chessman decides to share.