The gods of blog content have responded…

Political junkies are watching Florida and the GOP Primary…but some, like me, are more than a little disappointed that a certain Newt is in the midst of yet another polling plunge.

Confessional - yesterday I fuss that the gods of blog content are toying with us.

Today they have answered with…wait for it…The Donald.

Yes.

For real.

Way!

Donald Trump, otherwise known as the dude with no real friends because a real friend would have told him that his hair needs to go to rehab, is on Good Morning America teasing bobbing and weaving and…well, basically bullshitting because you know and I know that you know the I know that Donald Trump wants to be the GOP nominee like I want a drug resistant yeast infection.

No, his appearance is all about displaying his power…power that these fools running for the GOP nomination gave him by flying to New York city to kiss his hair ring…and he wants everyone everywhere to know that his endorsement is coveted by many and that all this kissing of his ass is gonna make up for his not being picked for the kickball team back in prep school.

I mean, shit…the man is trying to school George that getting on the ballot in May would be "easy" for an Independent!

***happy dance***

Blink.

Wait a minute...what's that sound?

Pause…listen to the sound of the gods of blog content laughing…continue.

Shit.

The gods of blog content toy with us (shakes fist at sky)…

Shall we?

Um, Republican Primary voters in Florida?

What the fuck, people!?!

I settle down this morning to catch up on the morning political sorta-news and what greets me?

News that Mitt Romney has opened up a 15-point lead in Florida.

***cuts eyes***

Damn it to hell and back again, I know I presented offerings of corn bread and vodka at the alter of the gods of blog content just yesterday.

So why the hell am I now looking at a Romney victory in Florida tomorrow?

Mmmhmm…the gods of blog content toy with us.

Shit.

At least I’ve still got Santorum in complete denial and set to arrive in my state (Missouri) for a fundraiser deep in social conservative country (St. Charles).  That means I can look forward to his ass tossing out crazy talk and stirring shit until at least February 7^th.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

But damn it, I was pulling for a Newt on Mitt floor battle at the GOP convention.

All signs pointed to it – those who adore Tea made public declarations of support for Newt as the anyone but Romney candidate, social conservatives in South Carolina gave him a big win, and arithmetic challenged conservatives in Iowa finally confirmed that Santorum denied Mitt a win to kick this whole thing off.

And yet…

…here we are on the eve of the Florida Primary and it looks like Mitt is guaranteed a win.

Shit, shit, SHIT!

The only thing I have to look forward to is that Newt is guaranteed to go down with the grace of an angry cat getting a bubble bath.

Blink.

Targets…

Shall we?

Last night I caught the news that several Democrats in the Missouri Senate have been targeted…literally…in a cowardly attempt at intimidation.

Stickers with crosshairs on them were left on the Capitol office doors of the state senators.

It is worth noting that crosshairs were the intimidation tactic du jour during the lead up to the 2010 elections…with some who were fond of saying “don’t get mad, reload” even creating online maps with targets placed over targeted districted.

Now, this public display of violent intentions has broken out under the dome.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Of course, this pissed me off.

First of all, threats of violence in a place where the people’s representatives assemble are unacceptable.

Missouri State Senators are talking bodyguards, for the love of all that indicates something is rotten under the dome.

The asshole that did this didn’t even indicate what the fuck they are targeting the senators for. Oh, I get it – Missouri is debating some sort of something about the Obama administration’s health care law, but Jesus to God that’s not the only thing they are working on. For all we know, this fool is one of those folks who has gotten all worked up over Missouri protecting our state border with Kansas from illegal immigration.

 

Is it too much to ask for a little clarity from these domestic terrorists?

***cue crickets***

Lawd.

Finally, the Missouri State Capitol is the people’s house…my house…and some wretched ass just indulged in a public display of no home training while treading all over we the people.

Seems that the same fringe mob ranting about communist health care laws has no problem at all channeling their inner Stalin under the dome.

Blink.

Blog for Choice – woman + vote = power…

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

In case you missed it, this is an election year in America (wink).

So, what am I going to do to elect pro-choice candidates in 2012?

Well…

I’m going to work as if my rights are on the line.

That means I knock on one more door, I make that extra phone call, I nag my friends and family members to make sure their asses are registered and know where their polling place is…I volunteer, even though I’m tired…I stuff envelopes, even though I’d rather be [insert any of the many things I set aside during an election year].

I’m going to teach…

…and educate my community about reproductive justice and that there are people who appropriate the language and tactics of the Civil Rights movement so that they can erect anti-choice versions of the White Citizens Council and bar black women from the full range of reproductive health care.

I’ll be educating my sisters and brothers on the vote, why they should vote, and how many people who claim to care about the souls of black folk are in reality allied with forces that would deny the black vote by any means necessary…people who gleefully disparage black women even as they claim ownership, like the plantation masters of old, over our wombs, our bodies…and, should we fail to be vigilant, eventually our selves.

I’ll be resisting…

…any and all attempts to define, examine, objectify, indict, blame, shame, mock, exploit, and control me.

And I will be voting.

Because elections matter.

Because the most dangerous place for my rights is in the hands of my oppressor.

And because woman + vote = power.

Klan escalation in Missouri…

Sigh.

Shall we?

It seems that the Klan in Missouri had a New Years resolution – to indulge in more public displays of hate.

When news broke that the Klan had papered Sedalia, Missouri I was more interested in the response of residents than the fact that the infamous hate organization was out and about putting leaflets on cars. 

Thankfully many residents were appalled. 

Far too many people think the Klan went away after the ‘60s…as if LBJ invented a vaccination for absolute racist bullshit along with his Civil Rights legislation. And way too many people think Klan activities were and are isolated to the South – trust me, most of Missouri still struggles with Civil War themes as if trapped in April 1865.

But now comes news that some asshole has vandalized the sign for the Rosa Parks Highway with…wait for it…the letters “KKK” spray-painted in black.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

I don’t believe in coincidences...nor am I one to dismiss these public acts as child-based pranks the way some folks do.

No, I see this as textbook Klan behavior.

First the distribution of fliers…which is perfectly legal and protected and if I want the right to do the same shit I need to defend their right too.

Followed by the destruction of [insert something people of color care about or use or recently built or purchased] in an attempt to intimidate, insult, and bully – which makes me wonder if they’re stocking up on wood in preparation for a month of cross burning in February.

***cuts eyes***

Post-racial, my black ass.

Cutting bone – my thoughts on the State of the State…

Shall we?

Last night Missouri Governor Jay Nixon gave his State of the State address. Nixon bragged on the fact that the state workforce is the smallest it has been in 15 years, pledged to not raise taxes (pander much?), and then called for budget cuts across the board.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

If ever there was a case study for why states need to think twice, take a nap, and then think again before passing a balanced budget amendment…Lawd, give me strength…Missouri is that case.

Oh, catch that knee before you hurt someone.

I adore balanced budgets.

But I also understand that states aren’t households and there was far better ways to ensure fiscal discipline than passing a piece of legislation that gives government an easy out and mandates that the people suffer while true waste lingers unaddressed.

Pause…let that thought marinate…continue.

That’s right, I said that a balanced budget amendment is a government easy button.

Nixon and the gaggle of freaks that make up the majority in the Assembly get to cut…and cut…and then cut again.

Every year I watch this wretched circus and it never fails to remind me of a surgeon using Civil War battlefield medical techniques in a modern surgical theatre.

Oh, government will balance the budget…but they will do so without being challenged in to actual govern in a way that would make Missouri thrive rather than amputate and/or starve programs to death year after year.

Mmmhmm, we have a state government that is skilled in wielding the axe but lacks the intellectual capacity to diagnose what ails us.

And allow me to keep it real – the most vulnerable suffer from these cuts, our young people seeking education suffer…

…and ultimately Missouri suffers. Because while budget balancing legislators prepare to cut bone now that they’ve hacked away all the meat, we the people are looking at another year where our largest export is Missourians.

Blink.

Pondering service this King Holiday…

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

Longtime readers know that I adore volunteering and I fully support the call for a national day of service in honor of King’s legacy.

But...and you just knew there was a “but” coming…I wish the call for a day of service was accompanied by the recommendation for a life of service.

Hold up...catch that knee!

You know and I know that you know that I know that average everyday folk tend to believe that they don’t have enough time to check the time much less add another to-do to their list of things that need doing.

A national day of service is a fantabulous opportunity to explore the diverse options for service available to people of all ages, skills, and backgrounds…

…and through that exploration people can realize that service and volunteering does not have to happen in multi-hour, overwhelming, and thus unsustainable blocks of time.

Pause...consider...continue.

Today I'm reflecting on King’s legacy and on the sacrifice and courage of thousands of nameless activist warriors who made up a movement that was the very definition of serving the cause of social justice.

And I imagine what the world could be...would be...will become if we all endeavored to do the same.

Have a wonderful King holiday.

Firewall…

Let’s jump right on in.

The New Hampshire primary is over.

Romney won big.

Ron Paul came in second.

John Huntsman came in third.

And y’all can be your ass this race is about to get old school nasty…I mean nasty like when George Bush #1 was running against Reagan in 1980…mmhmm, NASTY!

Pundits have latched onto the word “firewall” and the theory that South Carolina is the last chance for anyone to derail Team Romney.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

When I hear talk of a political firewall I get an image of a gaggle of conservative candidates hunkered behind a barricade at the South Carolina state border as a massive flip-flopping and moderate only when compared to the hardliners he’s running against Romney grassfire whips all ‘round them.

Blink.

Pre New Hampshire Expectitude!

Happy Monday before the New Hampshire primary, y’all!

I’m on my second cup of coffee (2 cubes sugar and a dash of milk...yum!) and fixin’ to get this week started.

Shall we?

New Hampshire will get their primary on tomorrow and political pundits are gleefully…and I mean gleeful like I haven’t seen them gleeful since a certain social conservative darling took a hike on the Appalachian trail gleeful…cough…yeah, um…gleefully anticipating which of the GOP wanna-bes will come in second.

Santorum, leader Spanish Inquisition Faction of the GOP, enjoyed a nice surge from his performance in Iowa…but that performance also rustled up some vicious opposition ads highlighting Santorum’s adoration of pork and fringe value system. Ricky is feeling the heat and this bitch will be watching to see if he can hold onto the #2 spot in New Hampshire and then take his unelectable in a General ass on to South Carolina where he hopes Evangelicals await him like the second coming of…um, well you get the picture.

Blink.

Onward!

John Huntsman.

Pause…allow time for the flock of bitchitude to Google John Huntsman…continue.

Huntsman has emerged as a contender for the #2 spot in New Hampshire…which is not half as surprising as pundits would have us believe when we consider the fact that he’s been shaking hands there for months while his opponents were deep in Iowa country. Anyhoo, Huntsman’s rise is an interesting development but I’ve yet to determine whom he takes votes from in New Hampshire.

Next!

Mitt Romney is in the lead and pundits have determined that he must win BIG or he’s done for when he heads for South Carolina where his flip-floppery, Mormonism, and New England ways are expected to hurt him with likely GOP voters.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Yeah, that about sums things up.

Oh wait…Newt!

Newt, Newt, Newt, Newt, NEWT!

***claps hands in joy***

Angry red-faced pompous mean-as-hell 1980’s Newt is back, y’all!

He’s been feasting on Mitt Romney like a hungry dawg on a bone…tossing accusations with an intense hyper focused hate I haven’t seen out of him in decades.

Sigh.

May the gods of blog post content continue to shine upon us…

Neapolitan…

Iowans got their Caucus on yesterday and this morning all the political pundits are feasting on the first sorta-results of 2012.

Let’s jump in, shall we?

I watched my beloved Blues beat the Coyotes last night (happy dance) so I missed the endless live Caucus coverage. Not that it mattered, since Iowa decided to be all dramatic and take all night to bring forth the tightest finish in the history of the Iowa Caucuses.

Daaaamn!

Romney, Paul, and Rick Santorum (yes, that would be the same man-on-dawg Santorum who gorged on Congressional pork while attempting to legislate a prohibition on sex for pleasure)…cough…yeah, those three dudes finished in a three-way tie.

What?

Oh puhlease…an 8-vote difference don’t mean shit.

This race is about delegates and all three walked away from Iowa with 7.

If this Caucus finish were an ice cream flavor it would be Neapolitan.

Shit.

Anyhoo, Newt came in fourth after the threesome…and um, Rick Perry came in fifth…oh, and Michele Bachmann came in last.

Getting his ass handed to him made New Newt turn into Old School Angry Flushed Cheeked Nasty Newt...yeah, that small dawg kicking mean ass fucker I remember from the 80’s…only this time his rancidity is targeted at Mitt Romney.

Rick Perry is going home to assess whether there is a path forward to victory (translation – he’s going to drop out but needs guidance in how to do so and walk away with some leverage so he can salvage what’s left of his reputation and wield power at the convention thus continuing his minion-based service to the conservative masters who convinced his dumb ass to run in the first place).

Michele Bachmann is…um…well according to the Washington Post she’s hunting the political forest trying to find out where her Mama Grizzlies went.

Blink.

Anyhoo…

***rubs hands together with absolute glee***

As expected, Iowa is trimming the fat off.

What was not expected was that the GOP would be so fragmented and undecided with just eleven months to go until Election Day.

New Hampshire is up next…and with Newt hurling hate and Santorum pandering to those who are more concerned with making all Americans live like cloistered nuns than the economy or job creation or our aging infrastructure or foreign policy or saving Medicare and Social Security…goodness - the Granite State’s primary may turn into an ultimate fighting match.

Pause...consider...continue.

Fantabulous!

I’ll bring the ice cream popcorn...

Iowa!

Atonement based confessional prior to first post of 2012 - I must confess that I taunted the gods of illness with my post on the plague…so that shit came back ‘round to remind me that it earned that reputation for misery, pain, and anguish.  My voice is still not quite human sounding…but I now have a proper respect for the plague and the gods of illness.

Wince.

Moving forward!

Happy freakin’ New Year, y’all!!

I hope everyone is fired up and ready to take on the world in 2012…

…because I sure as shit am.

Shall we?

On Iowa...otherwise known as that darling state above Missouri (wink)...

I visited Iowa several years ago…a long drive through to the northern part of the state that took me through several cities and lots and lots…and lots and lots…and lots and lots of farm-based territory.  I was with a native Iowan and we stopped to visit her friends along the way to her hometown.

Let me tell y’all, the Iowans I met take their politics seriously.

I was impressed with the political conversations I had, be it with a city dweller or a farmer or an angry misunderstood skateboarding suburban youth – these folks paid attention and understood the unique roll they play in American politics.

Pause…consider…continue.

Plus the good people of Iowa introduced me to fried Twinkies and for that alone they will always own a place in my heart.

Cough.

The caucuses are about turnout and, no matter what the pundits say today, that shit matters.

And the choir asked… “Why, Shark-Fu? Why does it matter?!?”

And a bitch replied… “I’m glad y’all asked!”

Turnout is a reflection of how organized a campaign is.  Contrary to popular belief, Facebook and Twitter are not the tools through which voters are driven to the polls…or activists to an events…or volunteers to a phonebank.

Catch that knee!

I’m an online organizer and it would serve me well to perpetuate that myth, but tis bullshit and I’m bound by the rules of bitchitude to call it such.

Online tools enhance and extend the turnout portion of a campaign…but they aren’t the be all end all nor are they the most effective tool.

People turn out people…and, in a state with an older population like Iowa, people on the phones and at the doors turn out people.

When someone wins a caucus in Iowa it demonstrates a somewhat mature organization at the earliest stage of the campaign season.

That’s it.

Yep…that’s all.

It doesn’t mean they have earned the nomination.

It just means that a bunch of other folks who failed to perform have earned a lot of scrutiny and analysis that will likely show them lacking a proper campaign and thus unworthy of donations.

Mmmhmm, donations...those adorable political dollars that are also why Iowa really matters.

I like to think of Iowa as being the political version of when a single person logs on to an internet dating site and sets up preferences…with Iowa being the first narrowing of the field…

…and New Hampshire and South Carolina being a set of disappointing coffee dates at Starbucks.

Toodles till post-Caucus, y’all!