Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Reflecting on fubarity...

Heaven to hell and back again!

Have you ever experienced a fubar day?

I’m talking hours of back to back to back to back incidents of drama on multiple fronts!

But I’m here to tell you (holds head high)…ain’t a day from hell been tossed at this bitch that will break me.

You feel me?

I’ve been broken before and that shit simply will not be happening again.

So I survived yesterday's fubarity…went to bed, but not to sleep...and woke up this morning at 5 o’clock to reflect on the previous day (wince).

This bitch is a huge fan of inner work. I have to admit that the hardest thing for me to do is to be critical of my own ass (wink). But in the end it made sense. I can only live my life and at least I’m willing to address my shit that needs addressing.

I’ve worked hard at my inner work because I grew up in a house full of blame and lacking in personal responsibility. I witnessed the damage done to self and others as my mother spent hour after hour, day after day…we’re talking years, chil’ren…blaming everyone and anyone for the shit that went wrong in her life.

And if shit went great she took full and absolute credit…of course.

Cough.

Well a bunch of challenging shit happened yesterday…and I survived to examine my role and my actions.

Not to take responsibility but to take my responsibility...and be a better bitch for it.

This bitch is thanking the Divine One for this fantabulous new day and for the ability to learn, adjust and evolve.

Sigh.

As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others. (Mandela)

7 comments:

Maya's Granny said...

Fubar days are just the pits. And, they can be some of the best learning experiences that we ever have. And, oh how I hate them.

raej said...

amen, ABB. our yesterdays were apparently psychically entwined. last night there was nothing to do but rant, cry, drink vodka and sleep. today i'm ready to move it on up.

Mahala said...

Some days give fubar new meaning.. hell some WEEKS give fubar new meaning.

Nancy said...

Bless you, SF. It ain't easy, but it's necessary if you want to live with yourself--and without a whole fuckload of denial.

cats said...

i've learned not to accept blame for anything. i will take responsibility, but not blame. it's made a difference in how i view my life and do the things i know i should do.

sly civilian said...

"This bitch is thanking the Divine One for this fantabulous new day and for the ability to learn, adjust and evolve."

Amen! I'm feeling you on that.

The Bear Maiden said...

Girl, I only found you recently and I check in from time to time... but I gotta tell you we have some things in common. One of them is Fubar days (never heard the term, but I'm gonna adopt it).

Having been there, I'm gonna pass on some stuff I've learned about surviving the DarkDays. Hope it helps:
http://tinyurl.com/2467m3



"Bubbles & Fireflies"