Last night this bitch and C-Money settled into our couch-based areas and prepared to enjoy The Daily Show. I was all excited to see the comic spin on the recent Democratic debate.
What I was not prepared for was a Christopher Hitchens moment. Nor was I prepared for the sight of his throw back to a 1970’s porn fantasy chest hair explosion (wince).
Shit, a bitch didn’t even get a warning!
I look up to find Hitchens looking bloated and trussed up as if he were encased in a girdle-like contraption (confess, you knavish ass…the only other thing that results in that posture whilst sitting is a butt plug…blink (wink)… mmmhmmm, CONfess!). Hitch (we’re not close, but I know him like a pain) then launched into a random pitch for his latest attention seeking feat of hackdom, God is Not Great.
Just when I was about to give him points for switching his watery gaze from his fear of all things birth-based to his fear of God and those who believe in God, he launches into a bizarre rant about all gods being born from some area other than the vagina.
No, I’m not kidding…made my vodka cran go down the wrong way!
Something was also mentioned about sawing off the tip of a penis...it was hard to make out with that fussy accent and his tendency to sound as if he’s been holding in a massive fart for hours if not days. But I'm pretty certain I heard him say that gods are not born vaginally.
Which is why this bitch is now taking bets on when...not if...Hitchens pens some sort of I Was Birthed Through My Mum’s Left Ear Thus I am God article for those eager chil'ren at Vanity Fair.