Thursday, April 06, 2006

Tagged...

A bitch has been tagged by a certain ProfessorGQ.

Mercy.

If you were to be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?
The same damned shit.

If you had to name the most difficult thing about being a teenager today, what would you say?
So much technology and so little advancement.

If you had to name the most embarrassing moment of your life, when was it?
Years ago and it involved a sheer flesh colored outfit, my period and the front pew of a church.

Damn, damn and damn.

If you had to name the most overrated actor in Hollywood, who would it be?
Jennifer Anniston

If you had to name the one personality trait that you have tried the hardest to change in yourself, what would you say?
Hmmm. My tendency to dismiss people for certain things without allowing them the opportunity to explain shit…but, then again, that has worked out pretty well in most cases. Usually a bitch is on the money, the individual really is an asshole and my life is better off without them in it. But not always…

If you could go back for one minute to the Garden of Eden and give Adam advice, what would you say?
My ass would be giving Eve some advice.

If you were to name the best “I told you so” you ever got to deliver, what was it?
The best one was the one a bitch decided to hold back on.

If you were Madonna, what would you do for your next publicity stunt?
If a bitch were Madonna there would be no publicity stunts.

If you could have a lifetime 50 percent discount in any single store at your local mall, which store would it be in?
A bitch can’t suffer malls…not even for a 50% discount.

If you could have one more pet, what kind would you get, and what would you name it?
Another dawg and a bitch would name her Rufus.

If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you want it to be?
Oh my! This bitch would ask that the Devine One’s will be done in all things.

If you could spend next New Year’s Eve doing anything, what would you do, and with whom?
If you have to ask you don't know this bitch...

If you were to set your country’s immigration policy, what would it be?
Equal.

If you were given the power to settle the issue of gays in the military, what policy would you set?
A bitch isn’t big on military expansion…but my ass isn’t big on bigotry either. Ask, tell and go with Gawd…

If you could have one person you have lost touch with call you up tonight and invite you to dinner, who would you want it to be?
Cathy C. from high school.

If you could change one thing about your love life, what would it be?
More love and less drama.

If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?None...what is ‘is’ and was meant to be.

If you have to name the best music album ever recorded, which would you select?
Bitches Brew by Miles Davis.

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?
A shark.

If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?
Go on with your bad self…

15 comments:

CP said...

"If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?"

"Go on with your bad self…"


I love it, Bitch. I simply love it. This is why you are revered and respected. As is, baby. As is. This Princess aspires to be half the Bitch you are!

Pssst...I'll bet you that the Lord Almighty has already told you to go on with your bad self in a thousand amazing ways.

Just listen...

CP.

~HoustonNY~ said...

LOVED the post!!!! Too much!!!

Anonymous said...

Amen, sister, amen.

RBL

cynthia said...

I like this: Go on with your bad self...

Rodney said...

Bitch! I love you!

EverydaySuperGoddess said...

"This bitch would ask that the Devine One’s will be done in all things."

Amen, sister.

E said...

Heh...nice answers..:-)

J said...

Hey ABB, do you ever listen to "This American Life" on NPR? You can listen to this week's episode for free here: http://www.thislife.org/

It's starting over, and there's a great story read about Adam and Eve. Loved it.

Loved what you said about, "Go on with your bad self". Made me think about my niece, who, when she was 4 or 5, would try on clothes (ever the clothes horse), and come out and say, confidently, "This is how I look." No judgement. Then she grew up. Freshman in high school now. I hope to god she has a bit of that left in her.

moonrose said...

If I had to be the opposite sex, I would be inconsolable.

Mr. Maurice said...

well maybe if they got to the point you wouldnt dismiss them

cats said...

hmmm, i once got a splinter from the front pew of a church... and i think i'd have some advice for eve myself.

once again... beautiful. i might just steal this one for my own blog.

djn said...

LOVE it!

It's Me, Maven... said...

I expected nothing less from you, ABB!

PS: I am partial to the name Rufus, as well. It's a killer name.

M-Dubb said...

This shit is hilarious!

The Misanthrope's Wife said...

Ditto was Cp said. Reading that post made me smile.