Friday, October 07, 2011

A sistah is weary…


…of the assumption that people of color possess unlimited quantities of understanding and forgiveness.

I’m weary of the never ending circle of over the top insult followed by defensiveness followed by frustration with folk for being offended by offensive shit followed by apologies for “if anyone was insulted” that contain dismissive language about “intent” followed by calls for dialogue that assume people of color possess unlimited quantities of understanding and forgiveness.

Pause...sip coffee...continue.

I’m not eager to explain or teach or rant or school or listen to explanations about what people were trying to do when what they actually did landed them on the list of bigoted assaults on my soul.

I’m not excited about the prospect of engaging in dialogues that so often end up with folk expecting people of color to grant absolution and then "let it go".

I’m not inspired by public displays of prejudice, be they signs at rallies or inappropriate analogies or racist bake sales on college campuses or billboards calling upon black men to step up and dictate to sistahs ‘cause we obviously need to be led.

I’m tired of calls for inclusion from non-inclusive spaces populated by people who define inclusion as assimilation.

I’m weary…

…and I wish I had the talent to express just how much fucking work it takes to engage, over and over again, when my spirit screams in resistance and my soul calls out for self-protection.

Sigh.

Lawd, give me strength because I believe in social justice though I doubt, though I resent...

...even as I am weary.

***logs off and prepares to do the work it takes to engage again***

10 comments:

Bridget Bufford said...

Wishing you a restful weekend. You do good work.

Jeffrey Ricker said...

One of my friends once gave me a card that said something along the lines, "I am not here to teach you a lesson. I am here to tell you that class is over." And this is a lesson these people should have learned already. I wonder if they ever will.

brian said...

Amen Shark fu, Amen!

Student of the World said...

Shark Fu-

I feel this post, with every fiber of my being I do.

You are not alone in the struggle, we can lean on one another

I <3 This post and you.

Anonymous said...

i. hear. you. i'm weary, too. especially on the day that three women are awarded the nobel prize for peace [and the accounts almost ALWAYS insist it's for 'women's rights' instead of the human rights that these women have been willing to live and die for] there's this shit: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/suspected-domestic-abusers-free-topeka-city-county-officials-161404729.html

yeah, i'm tired, too. bone tired. and i no longer believe that i can make a difference in this country.

giving thanks for the bitchitude that comes from you, tho, today and always. have a great weekend.

angryblackwriter

Asad said...

Such is the path pursued by warriors and visionaries. Keep up the fight! You have earned a new reader!

Asad (http:/unitedblackamerica.com)

DesertRose said...

Take whatever time you need for self-care. Snuggle the dawgs, do what it takes to take care of you. Fighting for change does take a lot of energy, and sometimes people just need some down time.

*hugs* if welcome

yaed said...

Hey i want to read what you think, more of that. Gimme!

I mean to say the posts about events and other people are less interesting then what you write that comes from your own mind. I hope that is a compliment, cause thats how i mean it.

303 said...

I am standing up! And miles to go before we rest.Standupsistah.

Mark said...

Boy, Pam. I hear your frustration, and I can second it. I am disabled, gay, and increasingly wanting to be Jewish- so that's "three strikes, I'm out" for most people. Heck, even Muslims were fine with the gay disabled stuff until I mentioned Judaism! Then they cleared out like I had some highly contagious genital infection. Sigh.

One of the reasons I am drawn towards Judaism is that Jews insist on social activism as a duty, activism without regard to who is being helped. Prejudice is always wearying, as are those who peddle apathy like it's the drug of choice (your phrase I believe). Fanatics of every faith scream on all sides, insisting that their side is the right side.

I firmly believe that no side is the right side- all share responsibility for the world and all share guilt and blame for its problems. Since the problems are created by people, they are things that people- ALL people- have to fix. The fact that most people- read, the richest one percent- don't want to help others is what makes my blood boil.

Sitting around on our asses and sanctimoniously praying, whilst waiting for God or Jesus to swoop down like Superman and fix everything, will help no one and will accomplish nothing.

This is why I like the Jewish idea of things better- everything and everyone has a spark of creation in them. You and other activists are gathering together the sparks of creation into a mighty flame- making the world a fit place for God to dwell, when every human being can reach their untrammeled full potential.

Keep up the good work Shark-Fu, Your Sharkness. We do have to make a difference in the world and help others- it is our purpose in being born human.