Tuesday, May 10, 2011

If Prop 8 were a minivan…

Here's the headline I would have written today - Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have announced their separation despite the passage of a marriage protection act in 2008…and after 25 years of marriage.

I'm more than a wee bit pissed that I listened to news stories about the split and didn’t hear anyone address the product failure angle.

And the choir said… “What the fuck are you talking about, Fu?”

And a bitch replied… “Oh c’mon, y’all!  I’m talking about the fact that the California Marriage Protection Act failed to protect the Schwarzenegger Shriver marriage!!”

Pause...sip coffee...continue.

If I lived in California I’d sue the hell out of Prop 8 backers and voters for false advertising and fraud.

I suspected the product integrity of Prop 8 when celebrity couples kept getting divorced after the measure passed…but lots of those folks lived elsewhere and for all I knew the power of Prop 8 diminished with physical distance from it’s state of origin.

But the former Governor and Maria…a high profile California dreamin’ couple who were featured in ads for the state, all tanned up and whitened smiles?

25 years of marriage…25 fucking years…and the California Marriage Protection Act couldn’t force field shield them through some job transition shit or infidelity or whatever the fuck challenge arose to their man-on-woman sanctified foundation of American society thus deserved of protection lest the heavens fall and dawgs start talking trash marriage?

Well, I’d sue…damn it.

I sure would!

Either the California Marriage Protection Act malfunctioned…

…or the California Marriage Protection Act never functioned…

…or the gays getting married ain’t what man-on-woman sanctified foundation of American society thus deserved of protection lest the heavens fall and dawgs start talking trash married people need to fucking worry about.

Shit, just look at the divorce rate in California!

If Prop 8 were a minivan it would have been recalled 3 years ago and lawyers would still be smiling.

Blink.

6 comments:

Stephanie said...

This is brilliant; I'm definitely going to be quoting you the next time my family gets all high and mighty about 'those people' destroying the sanctity of marriage.

Vesuvian Woman said...

Sistah, now you know...

He chose to cut funding to education. His public priority involves protecting the secrecy of his true height and smoking with Stallone.

His soon to-be-former wife ('cause a Kennedy has too much dignity to be an "Ex") is a democrat.

The instant they stopped having stimulating conversation the marriage was over. She's an intellectual, I propose it took about 20 yrs for her to get really bored with him. You know the variety, 'The kids don't need me, sex hasn't been great in years, house has been re-modeled to death, still young enough to cougar..."

Is it obvious that I never expected this marriage to last? God bless them both for whatever good they were able to produce together.

I digress.

Anonymous said...

Its right up there with Family Value politicians getting caught with their pants down, literally or figuratively. How many politicians getting caught in call girl/hotel/intern scandals run on a Family Value ticket?

Can they be sued for fraud? That might put an end to some hypocritical politicking.

SAM said...

I've talked about the same thing.What the couple down the street does has no place in my marriage.My marriage is between me and my spouse. Seeing all the cheating and seperating going on by some of the loudest protesters of gay marriage doesn't promote "the sanctity" of straight marriages.

SimplyStated said...

It always the soapbox shouters that fail ain't it? Those holding their nose and quoting the bible about marraige being a woman and man has the foundation for marriage rites never want ot talk about the divorce rates or the abuse stats.

Forget the Minivan...remember thiis s the ex-Gov ex-Hummer owner.Prop 8 backers veiw marriage as they viewed the Hummer: a symbol of power, strength and freedom.

Love, devotion, committment and truth do not enter into the equation.

Shannon Drury said...

You've made a brilliant case here on your blog--why not take it to the courts? You've obviously been emotionally damaged by this breakup. Demand compensation under California law! I'm dead serious--the only thing that would make me happier would be if Shriver herself put her trust fund & "True Lies" cut towards the case.