Happy tax day!
As some of you know, a debate broke out in the comment section of my Autism Awareness Month post.
I’d like to address a couple of things that need addressing.
#1 – On silencing…
A bitch moderates comments and have done so since picking up a few racist trolls my first year of blogging. Some comments get rejected – if they are off topic, rancidly racist or threaten violence I hit the rejection button without shame. Other comments are published and then responded to. I don’t agree with everyone and everyone doesn’t agree with me, but I don’t reject a comment just because it disagrees with this bitch.
There is a difference between disagreeing and silencing. I speak from personal experience – I’ve been disagreed with and I’ve been silenced.
I’ll continue to have people disagree with me as long as I share my opinions…the two go hand-in-hand.
But I will never be silenced again.
For the record…when a bitch wants someone to shut the fuck up I tell that person to shut the fuck up. When I want someone to get gone I usually say something like “Get thee gone!” If I don’t tell you to shut the fuck up or get gone, then I don’t want you to shut the fuck up or get gone.
#2 – On practicing the fine art of bitchitude and discussing autism…
One key part of practicing the fine art of bitchitude is making sure what you say is what you meant to say.
On the topic of autism, I’d rather say nothing than do damage.
I spent the first half of my life not talking about my brother because a lot of people’s reactions pissed me off or hurt my feelings. My silence was self-imposed and a kind of self-protection…and it resulted in many people not knowing that I had a brother or anything about him. I realized that fact after a chat with a friend who I had known for years who was more than a little hurt that I hadn’t shared about my brother and who accused me of being ashamed of him.
That hurt like hell, but I earned it...and, having earned it, the hurt was all the more painful.
I took that note and painful indictment and did a lot of inner work to get to the point where I feel empowered to openly discuss my life…my sister and brother are a huge part of my life…and I’m pretty sure that everyone knows that now.
Having said that, this bitch ain’t perfect.
Shit, I never claimed to be!
Fantabulous maybe, but not perfect.
And, just as I have called folks out for fucking shit up, I have had folks call me out for fucking shit up on all manner of topics.
Practicing the fine art of bitchitude requires…hell, it demands...having the courage to listen to one’s critics and learn from that which is valid. I’ve done that on a lot of issues…when I look back at some of my early posts on feminism I sometimes want to pull them down, but they reflect my journey and sometimes I need to look back to appreciate where I currently am.
I am absolutely certain that the same can be said of my posts on autism.
So, when critics in my comment section highlight that my using the phrase “live with autism” to describe my life is inaccurate and insults them…I listen.
I’ll confess that the prince to pauper tone of certain comments got my back up…and ‘tis difficult to listen to someone who just pissed you off…but if I only listened to comments that didn’t piss me off I’d only hear praise and that’s not a recipe for growth.
I paused…reflected…considered…and acknowledge that the use of that phrase and other phrases sends a message that I don’t want to and never intended to send.
I won’t use it again.
I won’t edit it out of previously published posts…that’s about the journey and being able to look back and note from whence I have come.
But I won’t use it again.
Thank you to those who commented…in support or in condemnation…and thank you to those of you who sent personal emails.