Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Limping toward the finish…

A bitch is fucking exhausted…depressed…disgusted…and I just looked at the fucking date and realized I’m probably going to take this monster funk right into the sorta-holiday.

Fuck a duck!

'Tis almost gift-giving-frenzification day and my Afro is deflated, y’all.

Shit.

Anyhoo…

I’ve been thinking about resolutions for 2010 and I’ve decided to make some.

Blink.

Shark-fu’s 2010 Resolutions

I resolve to keep on keeping it real. Social justice is my work and my personal mission…so, even though being a social justice activist is a major motherfucking downer right now…and even though it feels like folks are pissing in my Corn Flakes from all sides…I’m all in.

Fuck it…they call it a struggle for a reason.

I resolve to continue practicing the fine art of bitchitude.

This February I will celebrate…celebrate?...yeah fuck it all, celebrate five years of blogging.

Pause…consider…sip coffee…continue.

A lot has changed for the better in five years and a lot has been revealed to be teetering on the brink of absolute fubarity. But I know, deep in my core, that being an activist who blogs is the right thing to do and the right way to do it.

I resolve to finish damn my book proposal before the end of the year.

Yeah, I know that’s not exactly a New Years resolution…but fuck it, I’m resolving it anyway!

And I resolve to take better care of myself (wink).

This past year I’ve given up sleep…evenings…weekends…mornings…one-on-one time with my dawgs…social time with friends and family…all of that shit for a fight that is far from over.

I take comfort from the knowledge that I’m not the only one…that, even as I wallow in a vat of extreme weltschmerz, there are so many people working hard as hell to make this world a better place.

Sigh.

After a few days off I’ll be re-energized enough to recommit…

…and recommit is exactly what I’ll do.

Because the one thing I did right was the day I started to fight, y’all!

Wink.

My eyes?

Oh hell yes, they are still on the prize.

My fist?

You can bet your ass it’s raised high toward the sky…

***logs off to piddle the dawgs, tend to a seriously deflated Afro and get the day started***

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the vocabulary lesson! I'll have to work welschmertz into a sentence soo.

Hope I haven't contributed too much to your down mood. I may have disagreed with you yesterday but I read your blog everyday and appreciate your passion and commitment to what you do.

Have a nice holiday.

Wil Lake said...

Well Breathe..and be..and do you...

Tezcatlipoca said...

Pick out your 'fro, rest up and recharge. People are pissing in the corn flakes. We'll keep dumping out the bowl, washing it and refilling it much the same way we keep picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off and putting our shoulders back to the load. Happy 2010!

p.s. Go Wings! ;p

Shark-fu said...

Worry not Anonymous...disagreements I enjoy and they are welcome here! I'm dealing with a years worth of blah...but thanks for the well wishes.

Dusty said...

Take care of yourself sweet woman. And keep that 'fro in good shape..the coming year is gonna be full of fuckery from those that seek to stifle us! ;)

Jim said...

All the "Weltschmerz" aside, have a wonderful holiday season. And all the best for the New Year.

IseultTheIdle said...

I'm trying to take the view that a health insurance reform bill will pass, and can be amended later. The important thing is getting something done, even if it isn't everything we want. The political reality is that we could have been stopped cold, and we weren't.

Holidays are hard, even when they're good. Take care of yourself, have some egg nog (but not TOO much!) and a sloppy sorta-beagle kiss.

Don't forget to breathe. We need you. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hey, you're doing this year-end thing a little wrong! It is easy to let all the shit the year has accumulated pile up into a big stinky mess like you'd pick up in the yard if you had 50,000 sick doggies. And it is good to look ahead at new goals. But you should be looking back and digging out all the good that you helped accomplish this year and bask in that for awhile. Yes, the job isn't "done", but then it never is when you are looking for progress. Once you accomplish something you of course reach for the next challenge but don't forget to take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back once in awhile. If you can think of all the piles of shit in the yard as a really twisted easter egg hunt you can even take some of the stink away from that duty too.

Not to get all Pollyanna on you, but you have won the year with your defense of your brother's needs before that brutal government board, you helped some women learn how and why to vote, you have been a good example and steadfast support to your mentee (not giving up on her when she made mistakes), you shared your bold and beautiful stand against wicked family influences and you have been a source of inspiration all over the world through your blog.

Come on, give yourself the credit you would give to someone else who has done what you have done this year! You've got a new decade to put your angry black bitchitude stamp on!

Shark-fu said...

IseultTheIdle, I wish I could be hopeful about amending it later, but I keep remembering that women got the vote in 1920 and women in my family didn't vote as a result of the protected vote until after 1965.

Amending, if it happens, is usually as slow as honey straight out of the ice box...

IseultTheIdle said...

True, true; but this is not a Constitutional amendment. This is just a bill, hoping to be a law someday.

Laws are far easier to amend than Amendments, which seems counterintuitive but there you go.

Anonymous said...

I hear ya talkin'. I've been working in the social work field here in St. Louis for 21 years & have learned that sometimes we need to just pick up our tits & move on! Keep on doing what you do so well. I know that you will!

Cheers & Happy Holidays.

'Drea said...

Love your resolutions and resilience. Hang in there.

breathless said...

In honor of your fine work, dedication, and ginormous heart, I donated $$ each to FoodOutReach, Planned Parenthood (Missouri division) & Habitat (Missouri division) .

Love you, Shark-Fu.

Shark-fu said...

Oh shit, there goes my mascara!

Thank you so much - your generosity makes my work possible and it also made my day...week...month!

Blessed be...

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Well, it may be only s human construct, but be glad this decade is over. Whew, I wasn't sure we would make it. . . but WOW! What a way to end. . . from worse to best.
Keep on keepin on and keeping your Angela Davis thing going.