Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Pondering the All-Star clean-up…

A bitch caught a rebroadcast of the Michael Jackson Memorial on the telly last night. I found it to be a very well put together memorial and was particularly touched by Stevie Wonder’s performance and Brooke Shields’ speech…to hear Stevie mourn Michael Jackson’s passing in song was beyond moving and Shields reminded everyone that there was a person behind the image who lived a life outside of the spot light that we never knew about.

Moving forward…

My home city of St. Louis Missouri is preparing to host Major League Baseball’s All Star Game. This bitch used to be a huge Cardinal baseball fan, but the game has changed and I found myself turned off by the casual acceptance of chemical assistance. And then there are the expensive as hell and curiously funded stadium deals that result in expensive as hell and strangely posh stadiums that put attending a professional baseball game out of reach for this bitch…big time.

I haven’t watched a game in years.

Now baseball is coming to town in the form of the All Star Game.

City officials have taken to the news to get their brag on about the power washed streets and sidewalks…the broken windows that have been replaced…the fresh coats of paint on many a building…banners and streamers and fresh flowers and grass…and, last but not least, the clean-up along highway 70 involving long overdue trash pick up and mowing.

On one hand it feels much like what goes on in the House of Bitchitude when we’re going to have company. We clean and fix shit, wash and brush the dawgs and put out the decent silverware.

On the other hand, a bitch is rather surprised that the city even noticed all the areas they are now targeting with amazing accuracy. I almost hoped that all those broken windows in all the abandoned buildings were there because the right people weren’t aware of them…that the layers of filth on the street had not been attended to because most folks don’t walk around downtown St. Louis to notice…and that the trash and neck high weed/grass lining highway 70 was the result of the bad economy coupled with no one wanting to take responsibility.

But a bitch was wrong!

No way in hell my ass was right because St. Louis city got their clean on too swiftly with too much accuracy…much like this bitch does when someone says they’re going to drop by the house. Oh, I could bullshit myself and pretend that last night’s dinner plate only became visible after I hung up the phone or the dawgs didn’t smell houndish until after I asked a guest to visit…but why bullshit my own damn self?

I knew that shit was there but I don’t want other people to know that shit is there.

A bitch suspects that the same shit is going on with St. Louis city and I’d like to suggest to city planners what I often suggest to myself after I clean the hell out of the house and then survey the enjoyable neatness with guests – mayhap we should try this clean-up fix-up bitness more often and for our own damn selves?

Blink.

***cue baseball tossing crickets***

6 comments:

Mari said...

Sounds like a good idea!

Dusty said...

Yep, you are right Shark Fu and damn it, it makes me very sad. I think your post should be read at the next city council meeting...what do you think? ;)

But shouldn't we at least be glad the city was gussied up for the AS game? The reason doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, its just that it finally got done.

Oh, and I am still a lover of all things baseballian. But I am jaded now for all the reasons you lay out so very well.

Sasha said...

well, i was all prepared to dog the clean up effort, but when you compare it to how closet slobs (like me!) react when folks mention coming over, well then i have to just keep quiet. don't wanna sound like a hypocrite!

sounds like its a good deal however you loook at it though.

halliessparklingplanet said...

SCATHING.

I heart you with all my available heart. Oh, this is a great post. I'm in internet, bitchitude lurve.

Dianne said...

My husband and kids still love baseball, but the prices charged to attend major league games are far out of our reach, except once or twice a year.

Ah, but the minor leagues--THOSE are still affordable, if only just. It is still possible to spend a day soaking up sun and watching a great game, without spending every cent in your pocket.

a.eye said...

They are really getting at the "bad" spots in town, but if you go just North/West/South of where most of the people will be next week, you can see that they don't care enough to address those areas. They will be hidden from the visitors, so why try and make them look better? Why try and fix up areas that consist of people that they don't care about?

I agree with a previous commenter, his is something that should be addressed at a city meeting.