Judge Sotomayor confirmation hearing preparedness…

Okay, y’all…the confirmation hearings begin today for Judge Sotomayor’s appointment to the United States Supreme Court. It’s been a while since conservatives in the Senate have had the opportunity to show their natural ass on national television while attempting to score political points at the expense of a nominee…but this bitch predicts they’ve been saving up zingers for Judge Sotomayor and will hit their stride early.

I anticipate the first day to be full of testimonial praise for Judge Sotomayor followed by the dissenters who will try to paint her as an damn near out of control uppity judicial bully.

Blink.

This bitch intends to be prepared!

Shark-Fu’s Judge Sotomayor confirmation hearing list of preparedness…

Know the players
‘Tis important to know who is likely to show their ass and what their preferred asshole angle is.

Jeff Sessions
Ranking Member
R-Alabama
Sessions has been out there working hard like the good conservative minion that he is. He’s “flabbergasted” by Judge Sotomayor’s judicial philosophy and he intends to use the confirmation hearings as an “educational moment” (translation – his battle plan is to insult the hell out of Sotomayor while not looking like a woman fearing hateful bigot). Look for Sessions to grill, not listen, look properly flabbergasted (slack of jaw and wide of eye), dismiss answers, dismiss supportive testimony and then try to wrap his rancid performance up in some sort of “you sad bitter misguided woman…but, of course, I have the deepest respect for you and your people” statement-esque bow.

Orrin G. Hatch
R-Utah
Hatch will go after Sotomayor on the right the bear arms. He’s already indicated that he’s troubled and concerned by Sotomayor’s Second Amendment rulings…but his mind is open. Blink. Anyhoo, Hatch will be the minion of the “we need to be able to stockpile short range missiles in our backyard” crowd.

Charles E. Grassley
R-Iowa
Grassley will likely lift up the reverse racism angle and he’s also indicated that he’ll be watching to see if Sotomayor gets uppity in defense of her ruling in the firefighter case.

Jon Kyl
R-Arizona
Kyl is apparently looking forward to an intellectual feast at the hearing – there’s nothing like a judicial confirmation hearing to bring out the lawyer in him. But Kyl may lay low since bullying the woman likely to be the first Latina on the Supreme Court in an effort to paint her as a bully won’t fair well for him back at home.

Lindsey Graham
R-South Carolina
Look for the L Man to come out like a true hard ass because Sotomayor scares the living shit out him. Graham is disturbed by her directness, he questions her character (no specifics given, natch) and he pretty much told Sotomayor to her face that he’s not going to vote in favor of putting a self confident and vocal about it Latina on the high court. Most pundits see Graham’s position as payback to Obama for giving Alito a hard time…not exactly a sign of maturity, but then again this is the Senate.

John Cornyn
R-Texas
Cornyn will likely join Sessions and Grassley in the reverse racism camp…but he’s not expected to play bad cop.

Tom Coburn
R-Oklahoma
Coburn has indicated that he’ll join up with Hatch in the a missile in every American backyard camp…plus he’s freaked out about her position on eminent domain…and he thinks she’s to the left of Souter…but mostly because of “…just the things she says.”

Know the code
Unstable temperament = uppity woman who does not know her place is to do as conservatives would have her do when they want her to do it and with a smile while wearing a skirt.

Bully = woman judge who doesn’t suffer bullshit in her courtroom or back down from an argument 'cause Lawd knows straight talk from a man is refreshing while from a woman it threatens the very foundation of American blah, blah and another blah.

Strict constructionist = go forth and get your judicial activism on as long as it isn’t liberal judicial activism and as long as you don't admit that justice has been seeing 20/20 since the founders signed their names.

I have grave concerns = "I’ve decided not to support this nomination and go fuck yourself."

Anticipate public displays of ig’nance
A bitch has found that it is crucial to anticipate rancid behavior prior to Senate confirmation hearings. Thinking that these hearings will not be a proxy battle ignited with the hopes of embarrassing the President is…well, unhealthy.

I’ve got to think about my high blood pressure, after all…and nothing spikes that shit like a hearing.

Day one will be a pageant.

Day two will be a sorta-circus (Republicans don’t have the power to turn it into a full on three ring drama).

And at the end of it all Judge Sotomayor will most likely be confirmed as the first Latina on the Supreme Court.

Let the games begin!