A certain Jay from the great state of Montana has asked this bitch for my thoughts on the birther movement that questions whether President Obama is a natural born citizen and thus whether he meets the Constitutional requirements to be President of the United States of America.
Okay Jay, but only ‘cause you’ve been reading a bitch’s blog for years and you have a horse named Spock.
Pause…sip coffee…and begin.
Longtime readers know that a bitch adores a good conspiracy theory. I’m a Watergate buff and don’t even get me started on my personal theory that G. Gordon Liddy’s fumbling even when the lights are on ass was deliberately planted within the Nixon administration by the intelligence community to fuck with Nixon’s attempt to circumnavigate them with those West Wing plumbers.
Where was I?
Umm, as much as I do like a good conspiracy theory I have to point out that this one is built on a foundation of fresh thus soft and tremblingly unstable steaming bullshit.
People need to ask themselves who the fuck Barack Obama was when this birth certificate-based path to the presidency was supposed to have been cleared for him.
Was he the secret love child of some highly connected Opus Dei Bonesman-based Yaley who, though un-acknowledged by his highly connected and totally knee deep in the nation’s shadow government Jason Bourne style parent, had the inconvenience of a fuck-the-fact-that-a-Kenyan-birth-doesn’t-exactly-fit-this-theory Kenyan birth cleared up with a fake birth certificate because his Opus Dei Bonesman-based Yaley shadow-government immersed birth father parent wanted him to be president since the day he was born? Oh and wait…I think I need to spice this up with a dash of the real birth mother actually being Amelia Earhart’s daughter by a Russian general and that proves that Earhart didn’t die in the ocean but survived as a Soviet and her daughter was really a Manchurian Candidate sleeper birth-based agent who…oh fuck it.
This birther conspiracy can’t be worked over to be anything but bullshit.
Since when has the American political system been manipulated to clear the way for a person of color to seize power?
The downside is that the charge being made is insulting as hell…illegitimate…unsubstantiated and illogical.
The upside is that it has allowed for some of the most amusing public displays of craziness that a bitch has seen in years!
Give Spock an apple on this bitch…