Friday, March 27, 2009

Lawd, what a week…

A bitch is mentally exhausted. I think pondering all which is fubar is taking a toll on my attitude!

Sigh.

Even watching the fantabulous Blues victory during the hockey game last night hasn’t pulled me out of my funk!

Note – a bitch is not ready to begin NHL playoff speculation or trash talk ‘cause my ass is superstitious and the Blues are still fighting for that 8th spot.

Pause…toss up playoff prayer to the hockey gods…continue.

Whilst looking for a news-based distractitude a bitch came across this piece on how dawgs and cats are responsible for some 86,000 injuries to humans each year.

Blink.

The CDC is advising seniors to improve lighting, put pet toys away and use obedience training to cut down on the number of serious falls related to pets.

Trust a bitch, everyone should do that shit regardless of age.

And I’ll add that people need to pay attention when walking sorta-beagles too. This bitch adores my sorta-beagle companions Theo and Betsey, but they are short and frisky and known to cut a person off at the ankles in their pursuit of attention.

A year or two ago this bitch suffered a monster sprain after Theo the BayMaster decided to get his tug on in the opposite direction of Betsey Sue, who was already getting her tug on…and damn it to hell if my ass wasn’t trying to give them the walk they had been begging for…all of which resulted in a bitch hitting the sidewalk and damn near destroying my ankle!

As I explained to both of them at the time, face licking will not speed up the ankle healing process and sad puppy-dawg eyes will not make a bitch forget how I ended up on my ass with a busted ankle.

Shit.

Anyhoo, be mindful of thy pets...and their chews and toys...lest you end up on your ass and in pain!

10 comments:

Rileysdtr said...

1) Duly noted re: playoffs and GO BLUES.

2) Funny post and apropos - I was first home last night and as I was going to release the hounds tripped over one of them and just crushed my foot into the kitchen radiator. That did not put me in my happy place, believe me!

Jamie said...

I tell my dogs all the time that I don't have Go-Go-Gadget arms, but they just don't believe me.

Jessy said...

Yay for beagles and sorta-beagles! My dog-ters were adopted from the veterinary school at my university!

I find that article to be interesting, but I can't help thinking of how many humans end up hurting their pets... I have a neighbor who refuses to put down her elderly dog (or at least work to get her a hind-legs walker) with hip displaysia so severe that it is inoperable... she throws a handful of asprin in the dog's food and calls it a day. The dog drags herself in and out with her front paws, which have sustained severe damage and injury, all because the neighbor "can't imagine suffering and trying to survive" in the world without her dog.

Anonymous said...

Worst sprained ankle ever- totally sober, tripped over daughter's beagle/jack russell while watching little buggar while daughter was off on vacation. Although I knew he was always underfoot, totally didn't see him when it would have mattered. Ended up on crutches for a month.

OldCoastie said...

and don't even ask me how I tripped over a dawg in the kitchen with a paring knife in my hand that ended up stabbing me in the knee...

antibiotics took care of that one but the pants will never be the same.

proudprogressive said...

True enough , and i think i'll throw in word about cats, they don't always get out of your way, you can break you own neck trying not to crush em. Little buggers. I remember your ankle sprain , that was no laughing matter - they throw you for a loop. So yeah spring is in the air (sort of) bringing out the friskie - me i am of small stature at this age a medium size dog jumping up and boppin me in the mouth could knock a bridge out -

you be sure i use my down tone and hand signals to boot. No patience for jumping here at all.

(disclaimer i am getting older, gasp just turned 52) no money for new front bridge thats for sure.

Robert M said...

I am posting this to every AA website and newspaper I can find. I appreciate any help w/ local newspapers.
In Saturday’s London Times the following picture of First Lady Michelle Obama: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/template/2.0-0/element/pictureGalleryPopup.jsp?id=5968736&&offset=0&&sectionName=PoliticsG20
I found it insulting to the country, the President and the First Lady. I wrote to the London Times and the Charge d’Affairs Richard LeBaron in London protesting the photo, demanded its removal, the posting of a suitable one and an apology. I expect nothing from the Times given it is owned by Rupert Murdoch whom has already shown his ass to the President. I do expect an action from the Charge d’Affairs.
I would ask that everyone email the embassy, the White House, the Secretary of State’s office and anyone else you think should know demanding action. Here is my letter to them: To Charge d'Affairs Richard LeBaron:

The Times of London has published a picture of First Lady Michelle Obama that is so insulting to the American People, the President and above all the First Lady that is so insulting that if you were a gentleman you would have no choice but to challenge both the editor and the owner to a duel to the death. Here is a copy of the most offensive picture:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/template/2.0-0/element/pictureGalleryPopup.jsp?id=5968736&&offset=0&&sectionName=PoliticsG20

Since it is too much to expect a meager man such as yourself to uphold the First Lady and the country in this manner a simple beat down will do. the purpose of this beat down is to gain an apology for the people of the USA, the President and the dearly beloved First Lady, Michelle Obama and the publication of a more suitable picture.

On that same note in the cause of improving FrancoAmerican relations you might find the time to have them post a more suitable picture of Madame Sarkosy. The one published gives her the appearance of Prime Minister Sarkosy’s slattern as opposed to his wife.

I would appreciate a prompt action of your part.

Thank you

The email address is SCSLondon@sstate.gov

Lola Gets said...

I saw that article too. Ive actually fallen down the steps (only 3, but still) trying to step over a cat that was resting on one of the stairs. Now, I move those heifers out of the way! Mommy already has enough health problems.

L

ChristopherM said...

I just got Ginsburg the Wonder Pup a Gentle Walker harness for his leash, and after a couple of days, I seem to have better control over him. People rave over the Gentle Leader harness that slips over the snout, but seeing as how Ginsburg is a shih tzu without a snout, that really didn't work so well for us.

Claire said...

My aunt's leashed Malamute darted off after something across the street & broke my aunt's finger - YOWCH!

And by the way, Robert M., don't tell me you're upset over the photo of Michele Obama gardening? If that is the case, you are sadly mistaken - there is no dishonor in gardening, & Michelle looks as beautiful with a hoe in hand as any woman anyone has ever seen.