Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Let’s Talk About Sex!

This bitch it toying around with the notion of a quick trip to Chicago so that my ass can attend the Let’s Talk About Sex! 2nd Annual Conference and 10th Anniversary Celebration (go on with your bad selves, SisterSong).

The conference will take place in Chi-Town May 31 through June 3rd (anxiously glances at checkbook)…and is so close to St. Louis that a bitch really should find a way to attend (glances at checkbook again and curses the power of money).

Trust that I shall alert the Chicago-based flock of bitchitude if I confirm!

Anyhoo, a bitch was talking about sex just the other day.

Pause…lift artfully shaped eyebrow…continue.

Specifically, this bitch was chatting about a piece of information passed on to me regarding a certain former U.S. AID director Randall Tobias…and his alleged use of an alleged call girl service…and the hypocrisy of that shit in the face of his demand that others sign on to an anti-prostitution oath in exchange for aid.

Blink.

Now, a bitch should confess that I’m not at all fond of oath-like things being tied in to aid programs.

They come across as rather ‘master to slave’ to me...like the oath-based equivalent of making someone call themselves Toby.

Cough.

Tobias and his fellow Bushie minions demanded anti-prostitution oaths from countries who were trying to get some aid to fight AIDS. The oath, which was one of a whole shit load of policy-for-votes creations set forth by the we’re willing to trade policy for votes Bush administration, was so broadly worded that it prevented those receiving funds from doing outreach to sex workers.

Blink.

At first that made no sense to me…sex workers being at risk and the aid supposedly being there to deal with risk. But then I reminded myself that these minions and those they serve feel that the wages for sin should truly be death.

It struck me as fitting that Tobias, who enforced that fucked up from all angles policy, should be undone by an alleged call girl scandal.

Oh, what the heck…let’s have some fun!

***brings out the abstinence-fidelity score card with a look a glee***

Shall we proceed?

Yes indeed!
Following the "A" followed by "B" followed by "C" model...

Abstinence?

Well, he resigned rather quickly…which a bitch doubts he’d do if all he was getting was a massage.

Survey says!?!

Toby…err, ummm...Tobias gets 0 out of 3 on the abstinence tip.

Next!
Be faithful?

Blink.

I’m guessing his wife Marianne is not too pleased with his ass right ‘bout now.

Survey says!?!

That’s 0 on the faithful tip!

Last but never least…

Condoms?

Ummm.

Well, this bitch hopes he learned something from that successful Brazil-based program before he fucked it over…

7 comments:

Nancy said...

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.

Schaudenfraude deluxe, please: two scoops!

Leota2 said...

Ahhh, hypocrisy. . .
Normally, two (or three if that's Toby's thing) grown peoples sexual activity is really not my cup of tea. But I do get a special kind of happy when a hypocrite gets fronted--
Early retirement Toby?

Maya's Granny said...

Ah, hubris. Followed by Nemesis, stage right.

kusala said...

OK, OK, I agree wholeheartedly that Tobias is a hypocritical assclown for all the reasons well stated by a bitch (yeah, the wife is probably seriously not happy with his ass).

But (you knew there'd be a but)... I do have mixed feelings for a certain Deborah Jeane Palfrey, who is the person whose head is really on the chopping block here. She claims she really was only running a "massage ring", not a "prostitution ring" and she will stop at nothing to get her high-powered clientele to back her up. You can almost hear the drops of sweat dripping off foreheads all around the vicinity of Capitol Hill!

There was a great story about this in the LA Times yesterday. I urge a bitch and her readers to check it out here

I hope a bitch will be tuning into 20/20 for the scoop on Friday, and I want all the juicy details here (sadly, my ass saves money by not having cable tv!)

samizdat said...

Does anyone remember St. Louis County Prosecutor George Peach? Much sturm und drang about the evils of porn and the poor bastard goes and gets cought with working girl at a hotel near the airport. Ah, conservatives and their myriad and sundry hypocricies.

cats said...

the really sad thing for me is that african women get forced into prostitution just to feed their families when their husbands get sick and die from AIDS. typically a woman in africa can make enough money in one day to feed her family for a week if she doesn't use condoms, but if she does she will have to work for a week to feed her family for that week. which means that "sex-workers" need even more help in dealing with the issues of AIDS than others in that population.

Shark-fu said...

kusala...only for you (wink)a bitch will try to remember to TiVo 20/20.

cats...sigh...if only the system was set up to help.