Pondering Rick Perry's Missouri shopping spree…

Ready?

Set.

Go!

Texas Gov. Rick Perry spent the month of August shopping in the great state of Missouri.

He’s running a load of ads…tons of ads…so many damn ads that I’m beginning to wonder if he plans to invade Missouri and this ad blitz is part of his plan to soften Missourians up for our future domination.

Pause…shudder…continue.

Rick Perry wants Missouri companies and workers to move to Texas…and his ads center on how Texas is a better place to live and do business.

Audacious!

I mean, that takes some SERIOUS brass.

But wait…it gets better.

The Missouri GOP are all for Perry's shopping spree because Perry is preaching about tax reform and they are trying to rustle up the votes to override Governor Nixon’s veto of a dangerous tax bill.

Mmmmhmm.

For real.

Way!

Full disclosure: I lived in Texas for over seven years (hey, Dallas!) and I’m still rather fond of the state. 

But…um...what works in Texas will not work in Missouri.

See, Texas has a revenue source that Missouri doesn’t…a source that adds so much money to the state coffers that elected officials in Texas are struggling with the math.

Rick Perry failed to mention oil in his ads…or that Texas gets revenue from oil…or that the money they get from oil is kind of [translation: very] substantial. 

I’ll cut Ricky some slack, 'cause remembering and understanding shit isn’t his strength.

But the Missouri GOP needs a fierce correction.

Trying to override Governor Nixon’s veto of a fucked up from the floor up tax bill is one thing.

A stupid thing...a bizarre thing...a dangerous thing that makes folk question those legislators' ability to lead.

Cough.

But inviting a political vampire like Rick Perry to tour Missouri, tell us how our state sucks and pitch Texas as a better alternative, all so y'all can attempt to use that media blitz as proof that your fucked up tax bill isn't fucked up is...well, that's the very definition of fucked up.

To add insult to injury, the same MO GOP fools who invited Perry to Missouri…threw open the door and cheered as he marched on through…might as well have thrown a parade for his ass…yep, those fools have gone mute on why businesses and Missourians should stay put.

Is it too much to ask that those elected to represent Missouri actually represent Missouri by championing the state and defending her against this attempt to seduce away our motherfucking jobs and talented workers?

Could it be that those legislators behind this tax bill actually hate Missouri?

Gasp.

Pause…sip coffee…consider.

Good Gawd, that might be it!

If the tax bill had become law it would have done incredible harm.

But even if the veto holds...and Lawd, please let it hold...we've still got to deal with the ramifications of a month-long recruitment blitz from Texas!

Add a healthy dash of the state's legislative leadership failing to say a damn thing in defense of Missouri during that month-long recruitment blitz...and well, methinks there's a conspiracy to blight the entire state of Missouri!

Gasp again.

Where's Oliver Stone when a bitch needs him?

Blink.