Confession #1 – I was more than a little surprised by the
Supreme Court’s ruling on the Affordable Care Act. As a matter of fact, I spent the entire pre-ruling morning
getting myself prepared to witness a festival of anti-health care joy break out
‘mongst those who adore tea. Now,
I’ve got more than a few issues with ACA…’cause enjoying health care without
access is like trying to eat soup with your hands tied behind your back. But I also know that this country is
nothing if not inefficient and nasty with it when it comes to reforming shit
that needs to be reformed. We are
what we are.
Confession #2 – I hate the heat and it is hot as hell! Trust that a bitch is bitter…beyond
bitter…so bitter that I’d have a fit if I weren’t so damned tired from the
fucking heat.
Sigh.
Shall we?
I woke up this morning to a news bit about how Governor
Christie of New Jersey is being considered as a possible Vice Presidential
candidate for Mitt Romney.
Christie joins Senator Marco Rubio, and [insert conservative white man
here] as possible VP candidates.
Pause…sip coffee…continue.
Team Romney has made it clear…well, hold up…not really.
Team Romney is trying to be very unclear.
They are trying to keep the VP search hushed up so that they
can get the most out of the announcement and because they face a HUGE
challenge.
I’m serious!
Romney’s people are making a meal with Mitt as the main
dish.
While some of his team is testing sauces like an economic
plan or alternative health care plan, the other members are searching for a
side dish to compliment bland baked fish.
Anyone who has ever been to an awards dinner knows that no sauce
can hydrate dried out chicken or fish.
But Mitt is what he is…the fish is done and Team Romney is going to be
serving likely voters flounder until November.
And anyone who has ever put a meal together by committee in
hopes of making it appealing knows that this side dish issue is some
drama. The natural instinct may be
to choose a wild and unpredictable dish like Christie…but Governor Christie
isn’t easy to make. On any given
day it may be too spicy or power through the digestive system with all the
relentless fury of bad sushi. If
people get the runs then they may blame the flounder Mitt Romney and decide
that Romney with a side of Christie is not something they want to ever have
again, thank you very much.
Senator Rubio is a more predictable and appealing side dish…but it is also the
"it" side dish and conservatives just adore dining on it. Odds are Rubio will overpower Romney
flounder like Palin Fricassee drowned out McCain meatloaf in 2008.
Pause…sip more coffee...consider…continue.
The problem for Team Romney is that {insert conservative
white man here] ain’t a good default side dish. Most of those dudes are just as bland as baked
flounder. They won’t overpower…but
bland with a side of bland is not the kind of meal to make the masses line up
outside the restaurant voting booth.
Oh well, time will tell what the GOP serves in November.
***logs off with the image of conservatives fighting in the
kitchen over how much Emeril Essence to dump on Romney***
8 comments:
Thanks for my morning laugh! Your article is thoughtful, humorous and provocative. It's food for my brain.
There is not enough Essence in the world to make this man seem anymore than what he is...unappealing, phony, boring, out-of-touch, a proven liar and someone who cannot be trusted to support anything for an extended period of time unless it will get him more money or some votes.
He ain't just fish...he's 3 day old fish that has overstayed its welcome.And no amount of Rubio Mild Salsa for White Conservatives or Christie Volcanic Vinegar can help it.
As for the heat, I'm done. Its been over a 100 degrees in Colorado for more than 3 weeks.
Sadly, there are people in NJ who might vote for Romney/Christie just to get Christie out of the governor's mansion. (And there are those who adore tea in NJ, too, sadly...)
What - you don't think it'll be Pawlenty?
Is there a less intriguing mystery on earth than this one?
Ah, Stella...I'm thinking it hasn't been decided yet.
I'm betting it will be Pawlenty but not without some agonizing. Mitt needs to comfort the evangelical fringe and Pawlenty will do that.
But Romney-Pawlenty 2012 is about as exciting as baked flounder with a side of white rice.
They've got to turn out based on this team...just like the left will have to turn out based on fear of it.
We shall see...
It'll be Rob Portman from Ohio, so thankfully you don't have to worry about hearing more about Christie. The amount of Christie in the public consciousness is already too much as it is, sadly. Nice article.
"Mitt is like ... baked fish." You are so right - no substance, no flavor, no (structural) integrity. I LOVE IT!
Thanks!
Post a Comment