Note to the uninitiated – a bitch’s dream based speculations are based on dreams and in no way reality unless dreams are reality and this is just a dream.
Also, I’m convinced that Rupert Murdoch has a gargoyle companion named Sebastian - here's my earlier exploration.
On the eve of his quizzical before MPs regarding the phonehacking and bribery scandal, Rupert Murdoch searched his lair for his gargoyle companion Sebastian.
“Sebastian? Where the fuck are you, son? I need you to help me pick out a necktie, damn it!” Murdoch shuffled from room to room, mumbling under his breath. “Clearly, my necktie needs to be both soothing and inviting, non-threatening and upbeat…but, what the fuck do I know about that shit? SEBASTIAN!”
Murdoch opened the door to the gargoyle’s suite and paused in the doorway, mouth agape.
There stood Sebastian, calmly folding his gargoyle gear into his suitcase.
“What the fuck? What the fuck?” Murdoch gasped.
Sebastian continued to fold and sort, his eyes fixed on the task at hand.
“I’m leaving you.”
“WHAT?!? Why? How can you leave me now? I need you to help me pick out an outfit so I look like a nice guy instead of the soulless servant of the Dark Lord that I am!”
Sebastian stopped folding, turned toward Murdoch, and put a claw like paw on his hip.
“Gawd, you truly are an asshole. A selfish asshole. I was down for a life of greed. I supported you when you sought to control multiple societies through a media empire. I even stood by you when you renewed your contract with Satan and signed your name in his book. But…well, you’ve gone too far now.”
“I don’t understand!” Murdoch whined.
“Look, dude. There’s evil and then there is evil. You’ve crossed a line…selfishly dragging my gargoyle reputation down into the gutter with you. Do you have any idea what it’s like for me now? My gargoyle friends won’t accept my calls…I was asked not to attend gatherings of The International Society of Evil People Companions…hell, I’ve even been tossed out of the Scary As Hell Social Club! Seriously, the nastiest of the nasty think we’re too nasty!” Sebastian spat out and slammed his suitcase down to lock it.
He turned to face his Master.
“You want to know what the last straw was? Do you?” Sebastian's eyes welled with tears. “You had those people hack my phone! MY PHONE! You violated my privacy, man.”
Murdoch rolled his eyes. “Of course I did! I violate everyone’s privacy at some time or another. How was I to know what you are up to? And I had good reason to suspect you were cheating on me with that Facebook guy…”
As Sebastian moved past him out the door Murdoch made to grab for his arm-like appendage.
“Don’t, okay. Just don’t.”
He shuffled down the hall.
“It’s over, Master.”
“Can’t you give me one last chance? After all we’ve been through…all we accomplished together…don’t leave me, gargoyle friend!”
“Fuck you, Murdoch.”
Sebastian tossed his keys on the floor.
“Fuck you twice on Sunday.”
The gargoyle swept out the door into the mist…
…and then I woke up.
***logs off to set DVR to record coverage of Murdoch’s quizzical by MPs***