Monday, February 16, 2009

A condom-based stank eye incident at the Walgreen’s…

A bitch is concerned about the impact of stank eye.

Specifically, I’m concerned by the stank eye many people are subjected to when they buy condoms at their local pharmacy.

Shall we?

This past Saturday a bitch journeyed out and about of my lair because we were out of cranberry juice and that just won’t do. Since I didn’t need a ton of shit I decided to journey to Walgreen’s for a quick swing through. I failed to anticipate that Saturday was Valentines Day…and that there are a lot of last minute sweethearts out there…and that my local Walgreen’s can be slow as a motherfucker…so, I stood in line holding cranberry juice for several minutes (more like 10!!).


Anyhoo, a bitch is a natural observer and took a look at the folks in line with me.

There were several young men purchasing silly ass Valentine shit that would hopefully make up in sentiment what it lacked in originality. The young man in front of me appeared to be itemless…until I glanced down at his hands and noted that he held two packs of condoms. He obviously wasn’t trying to bring attention to his safe-sex purchase, and one of the reasons why was waiting behind the counter to check him out.

As the young condom purchaser set his items on the counter the woman behind the counter leveled the most intense stank eye on him that I’ve seen in a long time.

I’m talking the same level of stank coming from the eyes that this bitch gets from those wooden cross dragging protesters outside of Pridefest each year…mmmhmm, STANK!

I was stunned and then I got pissed.

I’ve purchased condoms before…hell, I used to be the designated condom purchaser for my friends…and I’ve been the recipient of stankified eye before. And I found that shit insulting and intolerable.

Given the fact that St. Louis ranks number one in STIs, this bitch finds that kind of sanctimonious judgment beyond insulting and intolerable.

So, when I came up to purchase my juice I gave Ms. Thang some stank eye right back.

I stared hard…hard as hell…so hard and so filled with angry disgust that when she lifted her eyes to me she physically jerked.

And then she flushed and looked away.


The problem is that Ms. Stank Eye from the Walgreen’s isn’t the exception…she’s far too often the rule.

We need to create an environment where people can purchase condoms with out judgment …be in stank eye or from the other end of the spectrum and equally insulting “I’m so bloody proud of you for using protection!!!” over the top praise.

‘Tis fitting that this is National Condom week, because we really need to commit to raising awareness about condom use and the facts.

And based on what I witnessed whilst shopping at the Walgreen’s, we also need to work on breaking down that stigma and curing the eye stankification condom purchasers face.


xobekim said...

You'd think that St. Louis being the nation's capitol for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia, that they'd be giving away condoms with every Walgreen purchase. But there is no profit in that!

America needs a "National Jimmy Hat Award." Each time you buy a condom you get points. And the ladies need to adopt the slogan: "no admittance without one."

I've got nothing against Church Ladies working at Walgreen as long as they stick to business.

Keep up the good fight!

Anonymous said...

I remember that look well. I remember the look I used to get when, as an adult, I'd pick them up along with baby stuff. (Yeah, I can give it right back.)

You're completely right. We should be encouraging our kids to be taking responsibility for their actions.

Moondancer said...

Yea for him for picking up the protection and braving the stank rather than assuming the women (or his partner who ever they might be) should deal with it. I think we’d all be a heck of a lot better of if people spent less time making unfair judgments of strangers and looked a little closer at their own damn selves.

roslynholcomb said...

That's amazing. I've never gotten the stank eye from anyone while purchasing condoms, but I have beef with where they're located. Usually right in front of the pharmacy, where people are waiting for their prescriptions. And who are usually waiting for prescriptions? Little old women. I'll never forget going to CVS to buy birth control with my then-boyfriend, now husband, a having to go through the selection with some of my mama's friends looking on. Keep in mind, I was in my early-thirties at the time, and it was still hellafied embarrassing. We left and went to another drugstore.

Jay said...

You would think with how high STL is in not only Gonorrhea and Chlamydia but also Syphillis, that we'd be throwing damned ticker tape parades for folks who actually buy condoms and practice safe sex. But, no. Folks feel the need to shame people they don't even know.

Unknown said...

Amen Sista Shark Fu! Speak it woman!

Gawd, it's amazing how ignorant people are...simply fucking amazing.

jOoLz said...

i'm with moondancer 100% on both points.

Anonymous said...

I could almost feel sorry for Miss Thang, since I know you can give a stank eye that would curdle the blood.

But like I said, almost.

Anonymous said...

the safeway by my house has the condoms locked up...

i realize it's "for theft deterrence", but that ain't right. the same kids who would steal condoms are the ones who need them most.

Anonymous said...

sad..that stank eye comes out to play even when buying head lice they gonna jump out on Miss Thang! grin agree 100% on put-downs thru nose raising, eye rollin, or the curled lip!

Anonymous said...

I don't find it too surprising that your stank-eye conquers all, Shark-Fu.


whatsername said...

Stank eye is certainly one thing I didn't consider before getting off HBC and using condoms instead. Definitely the most frustrating thing associated with that decision. I don't understand people, it's like we might as well be having sex on the counter in front of them or something. :P

Anonymous said...

Thanks for inspiring me!

Infuriated Faggot said...

In sorta-related news, guess who just spoke out against abstinence-only education?

ChristopherM said...

I always forget that strayt folks have to buy condoms. Prior to hooking up with my sweetie, I always just took a handful from the basket they have at every gay bar in the country. Seriously, I don't think I've ever actually had to purchase condoms. Next time, just tell the young man that if he is secure enough to go have a cocktail at the nearest gay bar, he can stock up for free for the next year or so, no stank eye included.

Anonymous said...

Lady, I lmao reading your Valentines Day at the store. Yes there are fools who stare you down because you have alot of sex at least he is taking precautions.
Good for you give the clerk the stank eye back!

Anonymous said...

I got Stank Eye at a Walgreens on the North Side buying condoms for my Little Sister. Yeah, I'm that Big Sister. The one who will buy condoms as well as candy and movie tickets and lunch. I was trying to model empowered shopping, but Stank Eye was taken to a new level up in there. The merch was locked up. I had to ask for assistance, but asked for discretion. At which point they PAGED A MANAGER to family planning. I knew I was doing something right when my Little Sister told me to get the kind for "her pleasure." As per usual with Stank Eye in effect and a broke teen in the wings, I bought two huge boxes so we wouldn't have to go through that again anytime soon. But the deterrent of public shaming really pissed me off. Young Sistahs need to be able to protect themselves without running the gauntlet.

Anonymous said...

OMG! Can we have your Stankeye Face posted at the Condom display? "If approached by sanctimonius old bitties's please use this approximate face"!

Nell Gwynne said...


I've had to do the whol asking-an-associate-to-unlock-the-condom-case business, but mercifully there was no stank eye involved. And unfortunatly, many of my friends from STL are woefully uneducated about sex. "Well, it doesn't matter that I give out bj's like they're candy at parties because that's not really sex".


Anonymous said...

Seeing as I was out of condoms, I decided to get some on my way home from work (along with some milk, 'cause cod forbid I not have any for my morning coffee). No stank eye, but I wasn't expecting me, considering this pharmacy also sells condoms packaged with a vibrating cock ring. The cashier did give them a second look, and there might have been the faintest of grins, but she was quick to get over it, so I won't fault her.

Still, now I'm tempted to see if I get stank eye at any of the other pharmacies in town You've inspired me!

Anonymous said...

Hehe. I'm in Minnesota and an awful lot of our local grocery stores actually keep the condoms in *locked cases* that only a *pharmacist* can access. If you come after the pharmacy's closed, you have to ask the cashier to make a trip halfway across the store and open the case for you. It's insulting - and stupid, considering I'm sure lots of people come in the evening or at night to buy condoms. I complained to the pharmacists at one local store chain, Coborn's, about this, as well as to a couple others, and was told it's to "prevent theft" because they're "so small" and easy to carry out without being noticed - but, for being small, they're also expensive. Uh, but they keep all kinds of small shit out in the open right by the registers - candy, aspirin, little junky crap like nail clippers and lighters.

Anyway. Just a load of bullshit and another way to infantilize people who want to protect themselves. What else was in the locked case? Oh, pretty much anything to do with sex, including condoms and lube - and also, tellingly, those dirty dirty YEAST INFECTION treatments! Don't want anything that might touch a vagina to be just sitting out in the open.

Yankee T said...

I heart you and your stank eye.