tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post114702634085225106..comments2024-01-17T15:05:50.120-06:00Comments on AngryBlackBitch: Some thoughts on Mother's Day...Shark-Fuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323962708956637012noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-60624642695470433082011-05-08T22:48:43.685-05:002011-05-08T22:48:43.685-05:00Similar comment in the same vein. My mother was li...Similar comment in the same vein. My mother was likewise emotionally/mentally abusive, not nurturing/maternal at all, and I have also raised myself into a strong courageous woman. People don't get what we have gone through, because they take their experiences for granted. <br /><br />The good thing that I realized THIS year for Mother's Day, is that I have other friends and family members so ARE good Mothers, so I wish THEM a Happy Mother's day, because I respect how loving & giving they are to their children. It's a sacrifice I'm not willing to make in my life, but I respect them for it.Koo-Reehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05900114575753076958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-91087801720661561602011-05-08T15:40:33.474-05:002011-05-08T15:40:33.474-05:00Thankyou so much for this.
I am so glad not to be...Thankyou so much for this.<br /><br />I am so glad not to be alone.MorganScorpionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18216330936955316699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-32850778359117187122009-01-10T17:16:00.000-06:002009-01-10T17:16:00.000-06:00I have a really hard time worrying what people thi...I have a really hard time worrying what people think of me, because I don't speak to my mother. It's further complicated with siblings who don't understand and continue spreading rumors. One thing that really helps me is this saying: What other people think of you, is really none of your business. What we are doing is not only healthy for us, but courageous.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-27586303908681059212007-03-05T23:06:00.000-06:002007-03-05T23:06:00.000-06:00I understand totally. People tend to believe that...I understand totally. People tend to believe that just by popping out brats that you're automatically so much better than everyone else and that we owe our mothers so much simply for wiping a nose that they created. Mother's Day is just a major guilt fest heaped upon "children" of all ages. I created a little Mother's Day ad below. Enjoy.<BR/><BR/>*************************<BR/><BR/>Sheeple: "You can forgive the woman who gave you LYFE can't you? She took pan to bring you into this world!"<BR/><BR/>The Sane: "This world is full of harshness and death. I could argue that she owes me for dragging me into it. Life is hard."<BR/><BR/>I wish everyone a guilt free, commonsense Mother's Day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1166033808618183742006-12-13T12:16:00.000-06:002006-12-13T12:16:00.000-06:00I'm so moved by your post and I have tears in my e...I'm so moved by your post and I have tears in my eyes. <BR/><BR/>I went through something similar, too, and the abuse just went on and on in so many ways that people with normal mothers absolutely cannot relate to...<BR/><BR/>The crushing of spirit under her power.<BR/><BR/>The loss of your soul.<BR/><BR/>The uncertainty in yourself that existed there when there should've been optimism and hope,<BR/><BR/>The feeling that I'm worth as much as a piece of dogshit on the sidewalk and it is the right of some man in my mother's eyes to hit her own daughter and he's a "good man" because he knows how to exert his manhood...<BR/><BR/>Being told day in and out that I'm stupid, ugly, worthless, useless, weak and no one will ever love me.<BR/><BR/>Fuck her.<BR/>Fuck that<BR/>and dammit all to hell...<BR/><BR/>I understand precisely where a bitch is coming from.<BR/><BR/>Peace out, sister...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147733947706161462006-05-15T17:59:00.000-05:002006-05-15T17:59:00.000-05:00The more together you are the less people believe ...<I>The more together you are the less people believe you. <BR/><BR/>Really fucked up people just stay fucked up, right? <BR/><BR/>Not exactly.</I><BR/><BR/>Your mama and my sig. other's daddy would have been a match made in heaven... or hell, whichever you prefer.<BR/><BR/>My heartmate has zero contact with his father, for numerous reasons. (Don't wanna bore ya with the details; suffice to say his daddy is an asshole.) People who throw out that "Forgive and forget" bullshit have never lived through hellish childhoods, wondering when the next crack of the belt or "I should never have had you" will fall next.<BR/><BR/>My heartmate survived because his daddy threw him out shortly after he turned 18. <BR/><BR/>My own mother survived her "childhood" when her abusive father threw her out.<BR/><BR/>I'm glad you had a better way out. Stay strong. <BR/><BR/>Best wishes,<BR/><BR/>WeaselWeaselhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08059654085619607002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147634780412570532006-05-14T14:26:00.000-05:002006-05-14T14:26:00.000-05:00This is my first Mother's Day since I stopped spea...This is my first Mother's Day since I stopped speaking with my mother. But it isn't my first Mother's Day without a mother. My mother is mentally ill and I can't remember the last time she did or said something motherly. That's my world and I hope that, in writing this, I can show someone else that they are not the only one who feels alone on Mother's Day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147626794626016282006-05-14T12:13:00.000-05:002006-05-14T12:13:00.000-05:00i appreciate your honesty. lots of people would ju...i appreciate your honesty. lots of people would just try to hunker down and get through mother's day, but you confronted the demon and kicked its ass. <BR/><BR/>i can relate to what you're saying. in my case, its the father rather than the mother that's the a-hole. <BR/><BR/>i remember thinking at 5 or 6 years old that the father wasn't a very nice person. <BR/><BR/>things have changed in the last 30some years, but only because i changed myself. i know he never will.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147442304018463342006-05-12T08:58:00.000-05:002006-05-12T08:58:00.000-05:00A bitch did not grow up with unconditional materna...<I>A bitch did not grow up with unconditional maternal love. There were some serious conditions and they were ever changing just to keep you on your toes and from ever meeting them. That was the game and it was played with tragic regularity.</I><BR/><BR/>ABB, I totally heart you.<BR/>Change "maternal" for "paternal" and you've said what I have been trying to say for years.<BR/>And the thing is, you grow up knowing something ain't right, but you can't even say what it is - you're not allowed - because if there's something wrong, it means there's something wrong with you.<BR/>When a mentally ill person blames you for their crazyhood, that's a symptom of the illness.<BR/>I still regret that I don't have a relationship with my biological father; but on the other hand, I am not going to get what I need from him. Any other relationship like that, bitches everywhere would be screaming, Dump the muthafucka already!<BR/>Big props. You're a rockstar.Joolyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04235093955722303192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147376972264148652006-05-11T14:49:00.000-05:002006-05-11T14:49:00.000-05:00I am so glad to see I am not the only one who has ...I am so glad to see I am not the only one who has to put up with a manipulative, selfish, cold hearted, narrow minded, bitch for a mom. I have a daughter and use my mother as a parenting example by thinking..."What would Mother do?" and doing EXACTLY the opposite. This has served me so well I get notes home from teachers on what a good parent I am, so I guess she isnt a waste of humanity after all......happy fucking mothers day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147371213874071342006-05-11T13:13:00.000-05:002006-05-11T13:13:00.000-05:00I'm nearly too floored for words right now.All I c...I'm nearly too floored for words right now.<BR/><BR/>All I can say is that never, in a million years, would I have EVER thought there was another soul in this world who could write this story. I read this and I realized that all this life, I thought I was all alone. <BR/><BR/>But someone truly gets it. I'm just floored.Legacy Userhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14610826955391436405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147367536394485322006-05-11T12:12:00.000-05:002006-05-11T12:12:00.000-05:00I am loving this post. As everyone else is waving...I am loving this post. As everyone else is waving their, "My mom rocks because..." flags, I keep thinking of the obligation of it all. The degrading comments about how I always thought I was better. The way that the first half of my life was decided for me, without any input from me even considered. Yet, here we are, celebrating mothers as a culture, when maybe we should just be celebrating awesome people. Like you!Perstephonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01087972919822567590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147320814661411392006-05-10T23:13:00.000-05:002006-05-10T23:13:00.000-05:00You rock for doing you despite it all. Best to you...You rock for doing you despite it all. Best to you and whatever follows with your mama. As a mama I will say we try, and yes, quite often we simply fail.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147274399224386852006-05-10T10:19:00.000-05:002006-05-10T10:19:00.000-05:00Thanks for this post--I needed it. I got back in ...Thanks for this post--I needed it. I got back in contact with my biological mother five years ago when I got feed up with the emotional abuse of my stepmother, the person who in many ways bullied my mom out of my life and the life of my siblings. Since contacting my mom, my dad and stepmother won't have anything to do with me; in fact, for a little bit, they amped up the abuse in different ways, but they finally stopped. Every time I start to get upset that my own father won't talk to me, I remember how badly I wanted to run away every time I visited because of the barrage of both silent and spoken judgment, and I am so thankful for the surrogate family I've picked up along the way.Caseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01358388066696088468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147268637687662582006-05-10T08:43:00.000-05:002006-05-10T08:43:00.000-05:00It's great and heartbreaking to see and know that ...It's great and heartbreaking to see and know that there are so many out there who are motherless. I felt every word of your post. The last time my mother hit me I was 21, the last time she said something shitty was at my father's funeral nearly 7 years ago. I stopped then. She died 3 years ago with our relationship unresolved. At 42, I'm still trying to figure it all out. But excising her from my life was to save my life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147240692273108832006-05-10T00:58:00.000-05:002006-05-10T00:58:00.000-05:00Bitch, your words have me riveted. Haven't comment...Bitch, your words have me riveted. Haven't commented in a while, but I'm still definitely reading. This post brought me out of my sabbatical. It's so compelling and so real, and while I've never gone through what you describe, I totally felt your pain. Maybe it's because I have a Little Sister (BBBS program) who is going through something similar with her own mother. And the pain it brings her makes me want to cry. Thank you for letting me see that kids can recover and be okay, even with the baggage of bad parenting.Cheetarah1980https://www.blogger.com/profile/07030323484936160187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147205696611002722006-05-09T15:14:00.000-05:002006-05-09T15:14:00.000-05:00What's up ABB just want to send you some love from...What's up ABB just want to send you some love from the Nations Cap. I know you already know but the lack of a relationship with your mama takes nothing away from you. No doubt about you are queen. God bless. Mark beyDangerfieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01881999761526327887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147203619679390982006-05-09T14:40:00.000-05:002006-05-09T14:40:00.000-05:00i almost cried reading this. but im pregnant so t...i almost cried reading this. but im pregnant so that may have something to do with it. anyway, im glad you had people who were there for you and glad you realized you were worth loving. i went through an emotionally abusive childhood and its taken me a looooooong time to love me. there really should be a LOT more awareness about the damage emotional and verbal abuse does to children and how rampant it is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147145726312646542006-05-08T22:35:00.000-05:002006-05-08T22:35:00.000-05:00Bitch, you know I raised you. It was tough love, ...Bitch, you know I raised you. It was tough love, trading you nickels for dimes and teaching you shit the hard way. But you turned out a-ok by the nurturing only a big sis can provide. <BR/><BR/>C-MoneyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147142279090051702006-05-08T21:37:00.000-05:002006-05-08T21:37:00.000-05:00"But she's your mother, well-meaning friends used ..."But she's your <I>mother</I>, well-meaning friends used to say. They didn't get it because most of them had a mom who was their best friend, their shopping buddy, etc. <BR/>I see where you came from, ABB, and you did a great job raising yourself! <BR/>College wasn't my escape, since I was told from an early age that I would be a "secretary". Well, I went to a large corporation, and like you, watched and learned how people lived. A good father, siblings, and grandparents, who also incurred her wrath on countless occasions, got me through.<BR/>Mother's Day is a tricky one. She's still alive, lives on Maui since 1993, and there's been no contact since 1999. Let go with love, they say in the 12 step programs. That's the best we can do.DeppFanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08959360480169462139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147137029654217062006-05-08T20:10:00.000-05:002006-05-08T20:10:00.000-05:00Thank you... beautiful post!I spent my twenties ha...Thank you... beautiful post!<BR/><BR/>I spent my twenties hating mother's day because it was so painful to see all the idealized images of nurturing mothers on the tv ads. Sometimes one's relationship with one's mother isn't so toxic as it is truely a nuanced mismatch of personalities (often touched with a depleted maternal history). I finally figured out that my mother had the only relationship with me that she was capable of... she was a great "nurse" to me, and for that gift I can be grateful (even though it's not the gift I may have wanted or needed).<BR/><BR/>I still select my mother's day cards carefully... it would be lie to thank her for an emotional connection I never had the opportunity to experience.<BR/><BR/>If being a grown up means being your own best parent, then sometimes that means setting some very serious boundaries.<BR/><BR/>Happy Mother's Day!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147133617721373352006-05-08T19:13:00.000-05:002006-05-08T19:13:00.000-05:00You know I'm with ya on this.My least fave time of...You know I'm with ya on this.<BR/><BR/>My least fave time of the year is mother's day. The first card I pick up that has the same type of sentiment I could give to anyone... the least personal... the least schmaltzy... that's the one I buy. A dollar store card and gift beats the grief I'd get if I neglected the day entirely. <BR/><BR/>There comes a point in our lives, where we end up mothering ourselves. <BR/><BR/>You're lucky to have C-Money and your brother, and your friends around you. Very lucky and loved, indeed.Mavenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159539883712835177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147130422517033542006-05-08T18:20:00.000-05:002006-05-08T18:20:00.000-05:00well that settles it. you're on my list of "peopl...well that settles it. you're on my list of "people who know what the fuck they're talking about." here's a deal: you keep writing and I'll keep reading. um, but I cannot bring myself to call you a bitch; i'll leave that to you. peace and blessings and good stuff.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02238940166797057327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147126044041217272006-05-08T17:07:00.000-05:002006-05-08T17:07:00.000-05:00i was raised by my grandmother, (my mother was off...i was raised by my grandmother, (my mother was off doing other things..)my gran was the best mom i chic could have. my mom, hmmmm, yeah...we have a working relationship. she doesn't expect to much from me, and i return the favor. but, happy mother's day to them both!! **that's something my gran would want me to say** -melstate of our nationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14485311315668399704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10755833.post-1147110816735577002006-05-08T12:53:00.000-05:002006-05-08T12:53:00.000-05:00Right on.A bitch has reminded me of so many years'...Right on.<BR/>A bitch has reminded me of so many years' quiet groaning over "deep down you know she loves you", and of how liberated I felt in the wake of my last two cutting-off occasions. And even though, for some damned reason, I feel guilty for having to do it again *today*, I know it's not fair to do anything else: someday she may decide to get her own life, though she may content herself with some other positioned as if at her disposal. Either way, I'm going to go ahead and live mine. <BR/>¡Viva a bitch!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16611509047929603610noreply@blogger.com