I stepped away from this blog last week because I found this space…a space I created…unsettling.
This has happened before…
…and it will happen again.
Knowing that it will happen again is what gave me pause and prompted my inner work.
A dear friend has often said that people of color need our own online spaces because wide-open dialogue too often becomes a Q&A session that makes a body feel like an exhibit on display.
I see the value in having safe online places for people of color to dialogue free of outside commentary…just as I see the value in open dialogue.
But I’ve got to tell ya…open dialogue is emotionally grueling and a little over a week ago it just became too much.
Well, that’s not exactly true.
I could have blogged last week.
But I honestly think I had crossed over from anger into rage, which isn’t what this blog is about.
So I stepped away and spent the week pondering whether my voice matters…whether this blog is worth it…and whether it is time to shut the school of bitchitude down and move on to whatever the future has lined up next.
Because this space...a space I created...had become unsettling.
I decided to keep blogging here and to give myself permission to step away when I feel the need.
I know that the unsettled feeling is part of the struggle.
But that doesn’t make it easy.