Sunday, February 28, 2010

Olympic Hockey Heaven – Gold Medal Game Edition…

Canada scores - Sid the Kid wins the Gold for Team Canada!

Congrats to Team Canada on a great game.

And congrats to Team USA - you made us so proud!

At the end of the 3rd, Team USA scores and ties it up. 2-2 and now we go to overtime.


I.

LOVE.

THIS.

GAME!

Another update, chil'ren!


USA scores! C-Money and this bitch are caught cheering Patrick Kane...freakish...but I'm claiming an Olympic exception.

Canada 2 USA 1...and this is one heck of a game!

Update at 3:12p - Team Canada scores again! 2-0 in the 2nd and the crowd is out of control. Team USA still in this, but we need to play our game.


Update at end of 1st period - still 1 - 0 Canada.

Great 1st period and we are still in this one!


Go Team USA!

Yay hockey!

Update at 2:35p - Canada scores! 1 - 0 in the 1st.


Are you ready to rumble?

Hell YES!

Team USA v Team Canada…the battle begins.

Team USA, with two of my beloved St. Louis Blues hockey players in the line-up, is ready and able.

Go Backes!

Go EJ!

Team Canada, with an impressive all-star line up of hockey gods, has tons of pressure and national pride on the line.

Add all that together with a splash of Don Cherry talking shit and you’ve got absolute hockey bliss!

Sigh.

Let the game begin!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Aw fuck it; let’s talk about Curling instead…

Shall we?

A bitch was going to post about the health care summit and how, although it didn’t move a single person from yes to no or no to yes, it was worthwhile because it clarified a lot of shit that needed to be clarified for the three or five folks left in America who still didn’t have a fucking clue what the hell is going on with health care reform.

But…

Oh, and I was also going to post a quizzical pondering why Anonymouses fail to see the freakishness of leaving comments on a bitch’s blog that attempt to explain blackness to my black ass.

In five years of blogging, those “black people [insert absolute statement stereotype that could, sans ig’nance, apply to any group of people] and that’s why you don’t deserve [insert basic civil right that, sans ig’nance, trolls would realize isn’t special]” comments are the ones that just keep on coming month after month. Anyhoo, I was going to post about the strangeness of having knaves who obviously do not know any black people tell my black ass what they think I’m thinking or doing and getting that shit so wrong that I’m left wondering where the hell they get that shit (there must be an e-newsletter, The Weekly Wrongness).

Cough.

But…

Fuck it.

Its Friday…a bitch is tired…and I’d rather share my new obsession with Curling.

I love Curling!

Seriously - the drama and the gossip-based commentary followed by more drama and stones and houses and...Lawd, have mercy!

Curling coverage is addictive and a bitch is going to have to search for a fix once the Olympics are over.

Who knew watching stones slide toward the house was so much fun?

Blink.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

On an Olympic note, go Team USA Women’s Ice Hockey!

Update - Congrats Team Canada on that gold medal win! And congrats Team USA for staying in that game and winning silver!

A bitch has been in Olympic ice hockey heaven!

Team USA men’s ice hockey survived a tough game against the Swiss yesterday…and then I got to watch Team Canada redeem themselves (sort of, but not really...let's be real) by kicking some serious ass in their game against Russia.

Confession – I had a freakish dream last night that the entire Russian hockey team refused to accept their defeat at the hand of Team Canada awarded themselves platinum medals in a private ceremony and then crowned Ovechkin king of the known universe.

Blink.

What?

I'm blaming that one on vodka.

Cough.

Anyhoo, a bitch wishes the women of Team USA hockey good luck as they take on Team Canada in the gold medal game today.

Many a sport commentator has fussed about the lack of depth on the women’s side…but women’s hockey has come a long way and will continue to grow in depth and skill.

The good thing is that women’s hockey players and fans around the world are about to see the best the game has to offer face off in the Olympics!

Fantabulous.

Three cheers for women’s ice hockey!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

UCSD Teach-In is today and the home training fail that inspired it...

So sorry for the delay in posting this, y'all!

As you may already know, a group of UCSD students executed a rare synchronized home training fail of massive proportions when they decided to post the following Facebook message to UCSD’s Greek Community “in honor of Black History Month.”

Description
February marks a very important month in American society. No, i'm not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I'm talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.
For guys: I expect all males to be rockin Jersey's, stuntin' up in ya White T (XXXL smallest size acceptable), anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High/low top Jordans or Dunks, Chains, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc.
For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks-Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes - they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red.
They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as "constipulated", or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as "hmmg!", or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises,grunts, and faces.
The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these "respectable" qualities throughout the day.
Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto.
We will be serving 40's, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank- which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered- or not.

Pause...allow time for the full insult of that rancidity to settle in…continue.

UCSD’s Chancellor, Marye Anne Fox, has invited students, staff and faculty to participate in a teach-in TODAY from noon to 2 p.m. in the Price Center East Ballroom to “explore how such incidents continue to occur today and to discuss the importance of mutual respect and civility on our campus.”

My take on this shit?

The home training fail may be a shameful reminder of just how not post- racial American society is…but I think holding a teach-in to address that mess is a fantabulous way to honor black history.

A bitch hopes that the students who need to be there show up, listen and share…

…because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Blink.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Remembering Vernon Hunter…

Shall we?

When I watched footage of the massive fire consuming an office building in Austin Texas last week after a domestic terrorist flew a plane into it, my first thought was to hope no one other than the pilot was hurt.

That was, tragically, not the case.

Vernon Hunter, a Vietnam veteran who served two tours of duty…husband and father and friend to many…was murder by Joe Stack when Joe Stack decided to vent his frustrations at all things not in his control by flying a plane into an office building in Austin Texas.

That the good Lord saw fit to limit the loss of life is little comfort to Vernon Hunter’s family…or to his colleagues, who have been terrorized by both the terrorist attack and the disturbing celebration/validation of that attack by everyone from conservative pundits to the junior Senator from Massachusetts.

I take no comfort and find no cause for celebration in the murder of a man who served this nation at war and at peace.

I find no grand statement within the terrorist act that took the life of a beloved husband and father.

Last week’s attack has been lauded by many who aren’t complex enough to be anti-government…’tis more accurate to say they are anti the current administration. They seek to celebrate Stack because this terrorist was American, wrote a manifesto decrying his torture at the hands of [insert government agency here] and that happens to freakishly fit how some folks define a hero.

But in my world, Vernon Hunter is a hero…not because of how he died but because of how he lived.

Yeah, I'm going to remember Vernon Hunter...Vietnam veteran, husband, father and grandfather.

And may God give comfort to those who mourn his loss...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Team USA Wins! - A bitch's birthday surprise!!

Update - A bitch just paused and considered and the Team USA men's hockey win over Team Canada still kicks major birthday present ass this morning.

Continue!

Wink.


Holy Mother of Gawd!

Team USA just beat Team Canada in Olympic ice hockey...in a preliminary round game.

Blink.

Happy birthday to me, damn it.

Woo hoo!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Head Cold Robustus Coughitus Nastificus with a touch of Ebola…

Oh…my…gods.

A bitch’s sinuses have been taken over by an alien life force…some sort of evil parasite that requires host nasal passages to thrive!

I’m on day four of this shit…better than yesterday but still fucked up from the floor up.

Ugh.

One good thing are the meds. My daytime meds are boring as hell…’cause I have to avoid happy pills that may elevate my blood pressure and instead ingest the American Heart Association endorsed pills that sorta address the rancidity in my snout but not really ad certainly not with that extra zing I used to get from the good shit.

Sigh.

Oh, but the nighttime meds are an absolute joy! Fantabulous, I tell you! A bitch was seeing double last night…for reals, it was WILD…hell, I was sooooo out of it I thought I saw Team Canada almost lose to Team Switzerland in men’s ice hockey!

Pause…listen to information Betsey the sorta-beagle whispers into a bitch's ear…continue.

Cough.

Um, okay…so, apparently Team Canada did almost lose to Team Switzerland (not that the Swiss aren’t good and stuff...but damn.)

Betsey tells me that the game came down to a shoot-out and that kid Sid had to shoot twice to close the deal!

Oh my.

Anyhoo, as you can tell a bitch is highly medicated and unable to distinguish reality from the funny random shit floating through the purple haze in my Afro…and one should not blog in this condition.

“Hey beagle, is Tiger Woods really gonna speak to the world at 10am CST or are those the meds talkin’ again?”

Wince.

Toodles ‘til wellness…

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Illish but not too illish to get my lobby on!

A bitch has a cold.

It has settled in my head-based area.

Ugh!

Yeah, well...shit.

Sigh.

I may be ill but I’m not too ill to get my lobby on…

…so, I shall be traveling to Jefferson City today to do just that!

Toodles ‘til later.

Sniffle.

Friday, February 12, 2010

John Mayer’s penis is not post-racial…

Several folks have asked a bitch to comment about John Mayer’s penis and it’s white supremacist behavior.

I could have lived my entire life happy as hell without the image of John Mayer’s penis sporting a white hood during a Klan rally.

Wince.

But lots of folks have been talking about Mayer’s bigoted penis…and his home training fail interview for Playboy in which he indulged in a session of TMI disclosures above and beyond his confession that his penis is not post-racial.

A confession – A bitch could be behind John Mayer at the Walgreens and my ass wouldn’t recognize him.

And a question - If a frustrated failed blues guitarist who is unable to handle the success of his soft rock career, because he hasn’t let go of the unrealistic Slowhand fantasy he developed while attending Berklee, has a home training fail in the forest did it really even happen?

Blink.

***logs off to purge the sound of Mr. Say What You Need to Say’s music from my Afro with a dose of B. B. King followed by a dash of Buddy Guy***

A bitch’s article on WOC & the anti choice focus on eugenics…

A certain Anonymous asked for my thoughts on those Black Children are an Endangered Species billboards that went up in Georgia.

I was already working on an article on anti-choicers and their focus on eugenics for Black History Month…so, I’ll direct interested Anonymouses to that piece over at RH Reality Check.

Thanks for asking.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Celebrating 5 years of practicing the fine art bitchitude!

A bitch is celebrating the five-year anniversary of this damn blog today!

Pause…listen to applause and shouts of joy (wink)…continue.

Mmmhmm, that’s five years of this bitch practicing the fine art of bitchitude online.

It’s hard to believe that five years have passed since Brother Rob Thurman gave me a blog as a birthday present (my birthday is actually on the 22nd)…and this has been the gift that keeps on gifting. Many thanks and oodles of appreciation to Brother Rob for a fabillion trillion things, including the gift of online bitchitude!

Anyhoo, longtime readers know that this bitch adores the month of February. My blog anniversary and my birthday both fall in this month…plus TCM runs all of those classic Oscar winning films that I can capture through the magic of TiVo. Hell yes, February is all that with a pepper on the side!

I don’t ask for personal presents…though I’m tempted since my ass is broke (wince).

Pause…offer up lamentations to the gods of personal finances…continue.

Instead, I’d like for folks to please donate to organizations that I support and/or do my volunteer work with…trust a bitch, even a small donations goes a long way to making a real difference in the lives of so many people.

This month (yeah, yeah I know I’m late in posting this shit…shit)…ahem…this February I’m gonna ask y’all to dig into your pocketbooks and support some worthy organizations.

This week’s organization is SAGE Metro St. Louis!

SAGE Metro St. Louis is new to St. Louis…and very much in need. SAGE is dedicated to serving the needs of LGBT older adults in our community. From support groups, care-giver support and social events…referrals for services by open and accepting providers, community education and advocacy…and so much more – SAGE is there to meet needs too long left unaddressed in the community.

So, I’m asking y’all to support the work of SAGE…give as you can and if you are so moved – know that I truly appreciate whatever you can do!





Thank you for helping me get my blog anniversary celebration on.

Thank you for reading a bitch’s posts.

And thank you for keeping it real and practicing the fine art of bitchitude your damn selves!

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Hold please...

A bitch has a deadline...

...so bitchitude will be on hold until tonight.

Toodles for now!

Monday, February 08, 2010

The day after the big game...

Hi y’all!

Okay, so this bitch caught the big game yesterday. It had everything – anticipation, two elite teams prepared to give it their all and a sold out crowd on hand to watch that shit!

And Lawd knows the actual game lived up to the hype…the intensity was out of this world and by the time the lead changed hands a bitch was on the edge of my seat!

Mmmhmm, that Caps v. Pens hockey game was all that and a bowl of grits!

Blink.

What?

Oh yeah, and congrats to the New Orleans Saints on that Super Bowl win (wink).

Moving forward…

A bitch did watch the Super Bowl commercials…I missed the infamous Focus on the Family ad because I was too busy focusing on frying up some catfish for my family.

But yeah, I caught most of the commercials and…well, um…one would think that they were created for a Cage Fighting championship rather than a football game that is watched by both women and men.

There were some good ads…but there was also a disturbing theme of emasculated men and the products that will save them.

Jezebel has a post up about it.

A bitch is curious –what the fuck, ad people?

I’m serious…a bitch is eager to know what research and analysis resulting in this year’s crop of man as victim ads.

***cue crickets***

Yeah….right….get back to me on that, why don’tcha.

Blink.

Friday, February 05, 2010

By request, Cynthia Davis’ latest verbal malfunction…

A certain Tamara from Rolla has asked a bitch for my thoughts on Missouri State Rep. Cynthia Davis’ latest verbal malfunction.

I assume you are referring to her thoughts on the nutritional habits of black people that she was kind enough to share with a woman of color testifying during a recent House Health Care Policy Committee meeting.

That meeting where she referred to “your people” and “your community” while addressing the witness, right?

Right.

Fired Up Missouri reports that Davis, well known for her opinion that hunger is a positive motivator for children, said something close to, "We should revamp the food stamp program so people who get food stamps can't buy junk food like potato chips and chocolate milk"...while she was eating potato chips herself.

Sigh.

Tamara from Rolla, what can a bitch say to that shit?

Cynthia Davis averages a verbal malfunction a week while the Missouri legislature is in session.

That’s what she does.

I’ve decided that her continued platform as a Rep. who apparently wants to be a State Senator says more about those who vote for her than the woman herself.

Clearly a majority of her constituents want Cynthia Davis to average a verbal malfunction a week during session.

I can’t figure out why they want that shit…but I get the message.

Pause…consider…continue.

Chocolate milk and potato chips?

Lawd, have mercy…

Keep on talkin’…

Shall we?

A bitch just caught a wee bit of the coverage from the current Tea Party Convention going on. Apparently there’s more than one party formed around tea in this country (who knew?) but the one currently getting sorta-coverage is having a convention.

Former Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo kicked off the convention with a rousing speech that contained the following statement…

“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote’ or say it in English put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House.”

Oh my, this shit is gonna be better than anticipated!

I was going to address that shit point by ig’nant point but…damn it if Tancredo didn’t go so far to the right of standard ig’nance that a bitch doesn’t even feel the need to address it.

I mean, shit…now might be the time for liberals to go silent and let these people talk themselves to the ground!

When I factor in that there are more than one of these Tea Party parties about…and they’ll also want to get their convention on…and they may even produce their own candidates who will go around the nation saying this kind of shit on a regular basis…well, damn it all – Democrats so don’t deserve this bounty from on high.

And these parties of tea haven’t even gotten to insulting women…calling for the dissolution of public school education…demanding Sovereignty for each state in the union (and can I tell you, nothing is more amusing that watching these folks kick off a rally with the Pledge of Allegiance then indulge in an hour or two of Sovereignty porn)…or going off on former GOP super-stars for not being conservative enough!

Chil’ren, sometimes a body has to yield the floor to the fool for the masses to see him for the fool that he is.

Carry on, National Tea Party people!

Carry the fuck on!

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Dearest Graydon...we need to talk.

Dearest Graydon Carter of the Vanity Fair editing Graydon Carters,

A bitch needs a moment of your time.

Let’s be frank, shall we?

You know that I know that you know that I know that your latest cover of alleged “It” celebrities had more to do with how Vanity Fair defines beauty than true it-ness.

No need to argue or defend.

I get it, son!

I’m not going to lecture you about how worn out and tired these covers have become or how predictable the article on how the photo came together is. You’re a businessman and there must be some sort of profit in magazine cover concept regurgitation behind Vanity Fair’s addiction to magazine cover concept regurgitation.

But, Graydon…honey, sweetie, darling...proclaiming that those actors reflect the "new Hollywood" is the very definition of wrongness!

Plenty of writers are calling you out on this shit, m’dear, and I won’t chew the remnants of a well-chewed bone.

I will simply add my voice to the chorus – the cover of the latest version of Vanity Fair’s New Hollywood issue is less diverse that a group photo of interns at the Heritage Foundation and fails to acknowledge the break-out performances of up and coming actors of color despite the fact that this year has seen break-out performances from up and coming actors of color.

That ain’t new, Graydon.

That’s business as usual.

My gods, man…that cover is a freakish look-a-like of a debutant class photo from the Veiled Prophet Ball!

Pause…consider…continue.

Have you been hanging out with that Chris Matthews?

Blink.

Sincerely tired of this tired ass shit,

Shark-Fu

Monday, February 01, 2010

Pondering what proposed legislation says about the legislators proposing it…

Happy February, people!

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

First, a bitch’s standard St. Louis Post-Dispatch website link warning – the comment section of Stltoday.com has a condition known as BigotryHateRanciditis, which manifests itself through hateful comments full of inaccurate assumptions about people of color, poor people, immigrants and LGBT people. Read with caution!

Onward!

Missouri legislators have proposed a bill that would require welfare recipients to pass drug tests in order to receive aide.

Some legislators say this legislation will protect taxpayers.

Other Missouri legislators, like Sen. Patrick Dougherty (D-St. Louis), point out that the bill singles out poor people and suggest that the legislation should be expanded to include anyone who receives state funding for anything. In the spirit, Rep. Maria Chappelle-Nadal (D-University City) has already proposed a separate bill that would require drug testing for legislators and their staff.

My initial reaction to this shit was disgusted frustration. The assumption that folks on welfare are rampant drug users is flawed and Lawd help us if the grand plan proposed by the Republican majority in the Missouri House and Senate to solve this states major budget problems is mandatory drug testing for poor people receiving welfare.

But after some thought…and a second cup of coffee…a bitch began to ponder what this kind of legislation says about the legislator who proposed it and those who support it.

This is the kind of legislation that makes a bitch wonder about a person’s knowledge base and, thus, question whether they are fit to hold office and legislate.

Do they have a habit of legislating based on rumor and assumptions?

Yes, mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients is disturbing and unethical in it’s singling out of poor people who are not the only folks in the state who receive aide funded by taxpayers. But a bitch is also disturbed by the fact that this apparently reactionary legislation has been proposed without the motivating fuel of…well, facts.

The bill assumes that there will be a benefit to taxpayers…because it assumes that there are a lot of welfare recipients on drugs...but where are the numbers?

They might not be there. Hell, Rep. Chuck Gatschenberger (R-Lake Saint Louis) acknowledges that there isn’t a problem of widespread drug use among Missouri teachers but he’s still proposing drug testing to crack down before there is a problem…and that assumes that Missouri teachers are poised on the brink of an orgy of illegal drug use.

With so many real and inarguable problems facing Missourians, is it too much to ask for Missouri legislators to address those problems before using the people’s time and money to pontificate about alleged problems and suspected abuse?

Do these legislators have any clue about addiction?

It seems as if these lawmakers think that addiction is something folks indulge in because they can get over on the system. But addiction is a medical issue and needs to be addressed with more treatment programs and options…which would also help address any potential abuse of tax-payer dollars by helping Missourians get off of drugs instead of punishing them for being addicted to drugs.

But that’d be too much like right…right?

Sigh.

Yes, the state of Arizona has already passed legislation based on previous drug testing legislation proposed in Missouri…and yes, Arizona claims that their requirements will save their state millions of dollars. That may or may not be true. What we do know is that these laws do little to nothing to address the issue of drug addiction in Missouri…and for the record, drug addiction is not exclusive to the ‘hood any more than welfare recipients are exclusive to the ‘hood.

If state legislators want to pass laws that protect tax-payers while assisting our communities then they’ll propose legislation that helps folks address their addiction, helps families stay fed and remain housed while loved ones are addressing their addiction and they'd set aside this kind of panderific bullshit.

Pause...consider...continue.

But that assumes that these legislators want to pass laws that protect tax-payers while assisting our communities and this bitch must confess that I have little proof that that’s their motivation on all manner of topics.

Blink.