Relax.I need some information first.Just the basic facts:Can you show me where it hurts?A bitch is longing to feel Pink Floyd’s
Comfortably Numb right now.
Ugh.
I’ve tried to put it to the back of my mind and I’ve tried to write about something else but I keep ending up unable to do anything but keep it real.
Longtime readers know that this bitch does a lot of volunteer work with young women.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that I can’t fix every wrong and I can’t live any life but my own.
Sigh.
A fifteen year old woman I know is pregnant.
She’s not the first young woman I’ve volunteered with to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
But I am feeling a sense of failure…and I know that this isn’t about me and that my personalizing it doesn’t accomplish shit.
There is no pain, you are receding.Yet the feeling that I should have done more…taken more time…built up more trust…been there more…that feeling has settled over me and taken root.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.And I can’t help feeling angry that she doesn’t have choices…her mother is anti-choice and this young woman is now a mother-to-be whether she wants to be or not.
You are only coming through in waves.I can’t help but fret over her future, because I know that the same people who do not support reproductive choice will not support her in the life she will have to build absent choice.
Your lips move but I cant hear what you’re saying.…and that she will have to balance school, work, working the system and parenting in a society that views that struggle as the wages of sin.
When I was a child I had a fever.The reality is harsh...this economy will not smile upon poor teen mothers...and this young woman will not enjoy a Palin-esque outcome.
My hands felt just like two balloons.And I wish.
Damn it.
I wish I could have done more.
Now I got that feeling once again.I can't explain, you would not understand.This is not how I am.The lack of options and the daunting challenge that is before her are running in a loop through my mind.
I have become comfortably numb.Numb?
And then that numbness is gone...not numb, not blind to reality...not ignorant of the role money and education and resources will play...not able to ignore the poverty she already lives in that thrives as a result of our apathy and cruel disregard.
Poverty...the only war America doesn't want to fight.
And oh, the burden of an enlightened mind.
Ok.Just a little pinprick. [ping]Therell be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!But you may feel a little sick.Shit.
This isn’t about me but the tragedy is that this isn’t even about her.
Can you stand up? I do believe its working. good. That'll keep you going for the show. Come on its time to go.No, this won’t be about her until she gives birth.
Then it will be all about her.
She who is seen as unfit to make decisions because she is fifteen will be charged with making all the decisions in nine short months.
There is no pain, you are receding.
And I wish I could be comfortably numb.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.You are only coming through in waves.Your lips move but I cant hear what you're saying.
Pause...gather self...continue.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,Out of the corner of my eye.
Time to listen while everyone else talks...to comfort and assist when asked to.
I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.We...must not become comfortably numb.