Whatcha, whatcha, whatcha want Part 2…

Senator McCain has selected the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, as his GOP V.P. nominee.

Blink.

Alright, give me a moment.

Blink again...pause...consider...continue.

Okay, so now we're playing some serious crazy ass high stakes political poker...big time!

Michael Murphy was on Meet the Press today and, may the goddess forgive me, a bitch actually agreed with his ass on Gov. Palin.

Lawd, have mercy.

Worry not, a bitch has several purification candles going even as I type.

Shudder.

Anyhoo...

When Brokaw asked Murphy about how the resurrection of wedge issues like the creationism vs. evolution debate in public schools would play with independent voters, Murphy said…

“It's trouble. Again, if we get into a social issues debate with those particular swing voters, we're in big trouble. I believe that McCain cannot win in this environment without ticket splitters, people who vote for him for president but vote Democrat down the ticket. He may need as many as one out of five of his ultimate voters to be a ticket splitter. So the question is in a bad base year for Republicans, if we get caught on pure base issues--I agree, the evangelical vote loves her, but I, to the point I said earlier, I'd rather have lukewarm evangelicals and a whole lot of voters...”

Yeah, this bitch has to agree.

But it's hard to sound "with it" to regular folks when you're dismissing science in favor of...well, it's not really creationism...ummm, and it's not science...sniff...yep, that's bullshit

At any rate, the selection of Gov. Palin opens up the door to one hell of a political chess match.

A bitch is beyond excited by the challenge being presented to voters to do some inner work…which most voters prefer to avoid like the plague…and really come to terms with what the fuck we all want.

Experience or judgment or a combination of the two?

Change for the sake of change or change in a specific direction?

And the fact that Gov. Palin is a woman provides an awesome opportunity for women voters to explore the gender issue from a different angle.

As a Missourian this bitch is beyond familiar with powerful women in politics who are appealing on so many levels yet remain rancid to the core when it comes to domestic social issues. But many of the political debates of the past several months have revealed the fact that a lot of folks assume some sort of genetic social justice tip for all women in politics that just doesn’t play out in the real world.

Palin provides an almost perfect case study for this…she has a unique background, some specific energy policy experience and a record on reproductive justice that, when coupled with her support of intelligent design as valid theory worthy of debate in public schools, is enough to make this bitch wonder whether Phyllis fucking Schlafly got a face lift and moved her hateful ass to Alaska.

Buckle up, chil'ren!

This is going to be one wild ride toward November...

Pondering history…

Last night I watched as history was made when Senator Obama accepted the Democratic Party’s nomination and became the first black man nominated by a major political party to seek the presidency of the United States of America.

And I so wish my beloved father was alive to have seen it.

Today, this bitch is pausing to remember a historical event that is still unfolding and impacting so many people’s lives.

Three years ago today Hurricane Katrina came ashore…

…and she changed everything.

Hurricane Katrina didn’t just expose engineering problems, weak levees and the lack of emergency preparedness.

Katrina exposed our flaws and our callous disregard of our fellow citizens. She exposed the true price of crony politics and the sad definition of traditional values.

At least 1,836 people lost their lives.

I can't help but wonder how many of those lives lost are charged to human failure.

So today let us remember those lost and those still trying to dig out three years later.

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’". George Bernard Shaw, "Back to Methuselah"

What I have...

…on the 45th anniversary of Dr. King’s I have a Dream Speech.

I

have

rights.

I have them and Lawd knows I put them to good use (wink). I will never forget the struggle fought in this country and throughout the world by regular people to achieve the rights I have. In honor of that struggle and for so many other reasons, I want to protect those rights for the generations yet to come.

I have expectations.

I expect my government to serve me…the levees to hold…and promises to be kept. I expect my fellow citizens to give a damn and, if they say they give a damn, to get off their ass and act on that shit. I have great expectations 'cause I know that we have tremendous potential and can achieve amazing things. I know this because my family's history is an example of that potential…and my legacy demands that it be realized.

I have needs.

Oh, Lawd…do I have needs.

I need to go to sleep at night and know that my family is safe from violence.

I need to go for a drive and know that I am safe from racial profiling.

I need to look in a magazine and find amusement rather than a series of insults.

I need the police to protect and serve the poor the same way they protect and serve the rich.

I need the media to cease being confused by black America and get about the bitness of understanding us.

And I need peace...

...not merely the absence of tension, but the presence of justice.

I have hope.

I know what can be. That's what I see when I dream. What we can be makes my eyes well up with tears and my throat swell with emotion. But the struggle for social justice isn’t about what we can be…it is about what we are willing to be. The bullshit that we settle for because we, as a people, are too often governed by fear instead of courage…tradition rather than independence…and self interest instead of social justice.

Yet still...

...I have hope.

And I have the vote.

Members of my family...men and oh yes, women...earned the protected vote in 1965. And I wish my Grandmère was alive today to cast her vote for whoever she damn well would want to. My vote isn’t about candidates…I’ve been in this game too long to fall in love with politicians or be romanced by campaigns.

No, my vote is all about me and mine.

Do you feel me?

My rights.

My expectations.

My needs.

My hopes.

My vote.

My dream of what I could have...what I should have...

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

...what I will have.

Remember Del Martin…

The fantabulous Del Martin has passed away.

I remember falling in awe of her and her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, while watching the documentary No Secret Anymore: The Times of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon.

Del Martin was the very definition of an activist – her work set the bar that so many of us aspire to.

In a statement posted on the National Center for Lesbian Rights, her partner Phyllis Lyon is quoted…

“Ever since I met Del 55 years ago, I could never imagine a day would come when she wouldn’t be by my side. I am so lucky to have known her, loved her, and been her partner in all things,” Lyon said. “I also never imagined there would be a day that we would actually be able to get married. I am devastated, but I take some solace in knowing we were able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love and commitment before she passed.”

In lieu of flowers, gifts can be made to honor Del’s life and commitment and to defeat the California marriage ban through NCLR’s No On 8 PAC at www.nclrights.org/NoOn8.

May she rest in peace…

A brief pause…

Bitchitude shall return this evening…

Toodles 'til!

Speaking of back-to-school…

A bitch read this article about bully proofing your chil’ren and it reminded me that bullying is one of many reasons some youth don’t look forward to the end of summer.

When this bitch was a wee bitch I was bullied relentlessly. It started when I walked into my kindergarten class and continued through my grade school years. As a result, a bitch couldn’t stand going to school and used to search desperately for ways to get out of it.

Unfortunately, my grades reflected that shit...big time.

Blink.

Anti-bullying measures like those discussed in the CNN.com article are a good start, but they are only as good as the system’s understanding of what bullying is. Here in Missouri we have anti-bullying mandates for schools that do not have enumerated categories…and we also have some educators who think calling a fellow student a faggot isn’t bullying.

What we need to do is remember that adults need education too. Parents need to be brought up to speed on the cost of bullying to the victim and the bully…on their child’s rights as students and their rights as tax paying investors in public education…and communities need to raise the bar on expectations for students, schools and educators.

This bitch remembers hearing a teacher talk about one of my bullies and her parents. It was around teacher-parent conference time and I guess the bully’s parents had already been in. I was listening in because I knew my ass wasn’t going to have a good conference…sigh…and a bitch was hoping to get the teacher’s take on my performance prior to the drama-filled event to come. Instead I heard the teacher venting about the mean as hell foul ass attitude of my bully’s parents. And I remember being shocked as the teacher talked of having to defend my bully from the verbal taunts of her parents.

I was even more shocked to find myself feeling sorry for my bully…right up until recess when she plowed her fist into my stomach.

Sigh.

Looking back, it makes sense that bullying is sometimes learned at home. Not always, but sometimes.

Just as it makes sense that communities dealing with bullies in their schools may not be equipped to identify and address the problem of bullying.

Organizations like PROMO are working to get specificity added to Missouri’s anti-bullying legislation so that communities, schools, educators, students and parents will have to tools to identify and address bullying.

So yes, its time for back-to-school preparedness y’all.

This bitch thinks now is a good time to ask your local school how they identify and deal with bullying and what you can do to help...

Whatcha, whatcha, whatcha want…

A bitch spent the weekend observing the variety of reactions to Senator Obama’s announcement that Senator Biden…Joey B. to this bitch…is his V. P. pick.

V.P. announcement reactions should have been included as an Olympic sport.

Blink.

For real, the competition for the top reaction quote was fierce as a motherfucker!

Anyhoo, this bitch thinks the choice makes sense.

Joey B.’s foreign policy street cred is beyond dispute. The dude has a foreign policy resume worthy of respect and he’s up to speed on all the emerging international clusterfucks developing even as I type. Since polls, pundits and undecideds have been screaming for a Veep selection that will sooth any anxiety about Senator Obama’s foreign policy experience Joey B. is the scrappy kid from Scranton (Lawd, give me strength) to get that job done.

Scrappy?

Scrappy.

Cough.

Anyhoo, there was also the issue of exit polls in certain states indicating that race was a big fucking deal to people who didn’t vote for Obama during the primary. Let’s just say that nothing puts some folks at ease like a scrappy scrappified and full of scrap Delaware politician...from Scranton (wink).

And, like many race matters voters, Joey B.’s had his fair share of verbal malfunctions to assist in that ticket-voter bonding process. Shit, he jumped out of the primary gate with one gem about cleanliness (merciful heaven, that was fast). So race matters voters should be able to identify with Biden and he’ll be working hard to make sure that happens.

Finally, Joey B. is nothing if he’s not a bad ass who will call bullshit bullshit. By selecting Joey B., Obama is now free to run above it all and let his #2 get his tussle on where needed.

Even though this bitch was leaning toward Governor Sibelius, I can't say that this choice doesn't make sense.

And a bitch has to admit, after watching heads spin all weekend long, that this move took some political courage…

Not going to Denver…

Happy Monday all!

After much debate a bitch decided that now was not the best time for me to be out of the state and out of touch during the Democratic Convention.

Sigh.

Things are still unsettled from my brother Bill’s car accident and I’d rather be a car ride away than a time zone apart.

But thank you to everyone who asked!

Y’all will just have to meet me in St. Louis if you want to cotillion with a bitch (wink)…

I don’t know about you…

…but this bitch is going to get my libation on.

Lawd, this has been a week!

By request - a bitch's response...

Yes, a bitch has heard about Rush Limbaugh’s latest verbal malfunction…this one revising his fear of black men and his frustration that domestic violence against women is on the no-can-do list.

Via Feministing, here’s the Rush Limbaugh quote in question…

"Obama's patriotism is not being attacked in an ad. McCain's just out there saying he's putting his own personal political ambition ahead of the country's. It's -- you know, it's just -- it's just we can't hit the girl. I don't care how far feminism's saying, you can't hit the girl, and you can't -- you can't criticize the little black man-child. You just can't do it, 'cause it's just not right. It's not fair. He's such a victim."

And here’s a bitch's response...

#1 The Myth of the Black Power 'Easy Button'

I don’t know who told people that 2008 was the year of 24/7 milk and honey for black people, but they lied, they lied, they fucking lied.

Did I mention that they lied?

If Senator Obama had a dollar for every critique he’s received since announcing his candidacy he’d almost catch up to Cindy I don't keep track of my houses, I pay people to keep track of my houses McCain’s ass. So, that argument…the one that too many assholes have convinced themselves is true even as they open their mouths to toss out another criticism for good measure…mmhmmm, that argument that Obama is getting a pass because he's a person of color is bullshit.

I’ve been black and American since birth and let me assure you that 2008 is another year for the record books in the trifling ass insult laden assumption that black folks have some mystical race card…like a motherfucker Black Power Easy Button…that helps us get over department.

Shit.

#2 What we have here is a failure to communicate.

For the record, when one political candidate says that another political candidate is putting personal ambition ahead of his country’s needs…cough…that dude is questioning the other dude’s patriotism.

If you looked up "questioning another person’s patriotism" in the Slinging Mud for Dummies political handbook you’d find a picture of Senator McCain hurling that shit to his left.

Pause…consider…continue.

But hey, that one may have set a world record for destroying your own argument.

#3 And you miss that, don’t you? You sick fuck.

No Rush, you “can’t hit the girl” anymore…you fucking freak.

But you can still reach deep into your Racism 101 bag of tricks and pull out that tried and true favorite - calling a black man a child.

What?

Oh, yes you can.

See, Rush just did!

And Lawd knows nothing is going to happen to him as a result...is it?

Of course not.

Because the truth of the matter is that we can do a lot of things now a'days but we can’t pull sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigots off the air.

We just can’t do it.

It’s not fair.

They're such victims.

And that must be why Rush Limbaugh is the highest paid Bull Connor impersonator in the world…

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones 1949-2008…

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones has died.

May she be remembered for her smile and her work.

And may her family find comfort in the memory of her life even as they grieve her passing.

Rep. Tubbs Jones hospitalized…

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones of Ohio was hospitalized in critical condition today after suffering an aneurysm.

She is the first black representative from the state of Ohio.

Doctors report that Rep. Tubbs jones has "very limited brain function" and that the aneurysm is in "an inaccessible part of her brain."

My prayers are with her and her family…

…and in hopes that we may be united in our hope for her recovery despite politics past.

Hello darkness, my old friend…

A bitch had the strangest dream last night.

Not quite a dream-based correction…no, it was more of a political exorcism.

Note for the uninitiated – a bitch’s dream-based exorcisms/corrections are in no way a reflection of shit she’d like to do for real and should not be taken as truth since…well, shit they’re dream-based.

Shall I share?

Oh, do I dare (wink)?

Alright then!

A bitch stumbled into sleep after listening to some sort of political gossip claiming that non-other than Senator Joe Lieberman was on the short list to be Senator McCain’s Veep.

That must have been on my mind, because my first sleep-based vision was of Senator Lieberman tied to a padded bed in a bedroom that was fucking freezing...see your own breath in the air freezing...slap your own face then pray for a quick death freezing...mmmhmmm COLD!

Shit, if this bitch had known my dream was going to involve cold ass temps I wouldn’t have worn my fantabulous leather bustiere (my dream, my fashion)…or at least I would have brought a fierce as hell cape into dreamland with me.

Sneeze.

Anyhoo, I approached the bed only to see Lieberman’s head spin completely around in a full circle! He then opened his mouth and spewed forth pea soup.

His head then lolled and he mumbled… “I’m a featured speaker at the RNC! I’m gonna be V.P.… Me!! Veep Me, Veep Me, Veep Me!!”

“Motherfucker, have you lost your damned mind?” I asked.

“In this era of uncertainty and conflict, the United States - blessed with the world's strongest military, most ingenious economy, and most tolerant society - remains a model and leader to the world.”

“What?” demanded this bitch, stepping back from the stank of rancid pea soup.

“This is an exciting time. I believe we stand at the edge of a new age - a Golden Age - of freedom that will rival any of the great eras of world history because it will be the entire world itself that is changing!” Lieberman shouted, then spun his head again.

A bitch paused and surveyed the scene.

“You know what, I don’t think you require a correction. This isn’t the average misbehaving. No, I think you may be possessed of the devil!”

More pea soup issued from his mouth.

A bitch quickly pulled out my Devil Possession Check List.

What?

Oh, as if you don’t have one.

Let's see...

Head spinning?

Check!

Cold as hell room?

Check!

Adoration of fiendish conservatives bent on making babies cry, scaring kittens and the destruction of free societies?

Check!

Pea soup stanktified nastiness?

Check!

“Mmmmhmm, you’ve signed your name in the devil’s book!” a bitch declared.

I quickly pulled out my vial of sanctified vodka cran (wink) and began to spritz it over Lieberman’s covered form.

“The power of progress compels you! The power of progress compels you!” a bitch chanted, only to see Lieberman’s body levitate slowly and rise almost to the ceiling.

“Holy shit!” a bitch stepped back and collided with none other than Al Gore!

“Holy shit!” I repeated.

“Girl, you are wasting your time.”

“But I can save him! I know I can!!” a bitch argued.

“But he’s not possessed by a demon. He’s just stopped fronting that he's any kind of liberal."...Al (we're close like that...in my dreams) patiently explained.

“But how do you explain the head spinning…the pea soup spittle…or the levitating off the floor whilst babbling crazy ass shit?” I had to ask.

“Oh, that's how the GOP gets their sleep on.”

***cue alarm clock***

Check this out…

Michel Martin of NPR’s Tell Me More wrote a piece for The Root.com on the selection of three white men all over the age of 68 by the Commission on Presidential Debates to moderate the debates this year.

Something about this election year makes that move seem beyond out of touch. Not that the moderators were ever representative of the masses, but daaaaammn.

If a bitch didn’t know better I’d think the Commission was trying to send a message.

Blink.

Anyhoo, please take a moment to read Michel’s piece and let me know your thoughts.

Toodles!

A realness-based statement of the obvious…

Ahem.

You can be in an oppressed group and be bigoted as hell.

I just thought that might need saying since a bitch has been getting some e-mails claiming the opposite.

Now I don’t have the foggiest idea what triggered these protests…sometimes these things just cycle on and off based on their own internal clock.

You know…like cicada.

Blink.

Anyhoo, just because you have The Man’s boot on your neck doesn’t mean that you don’t harbor the belief that some other people deserve that boot on their neck just because of who they are.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled bitchitude…

The bitness of beer…

Longtime readers know that this bitch favors vodka crans over beer, but I am a St. Louis native and my ass was raised to know the difference between personal preferences and bitness.

Now that the dust has settled from The Great Beer Brawl of 2008…cough…and InBev is poised to move in and make changes, a bitch decided to take a look at what’s what with this story.

Shit, it is not every day that a huge financial anchor and St. Louis landmark gets merged upon.

'Tis done and what comes after will define the value of this beer-based coming together for everyone involved from the boardrooms down to the taps.

According to the Post, looks like A-B suits are landing on both feet in a pile of money.

Blink.

The Post reports that The Fourth (August A. Busch IV) is set to bank $10.35 million as a lump sum and collect additional fees of about $120,000 a month as a consultant…adding up to $7.2 million if he starts working next January. The Fourth will get a personal security detail and free tickets to events sponsored by A-B.

Oh, and he’ll also get around $33.6 million from the accelerated vesting of stock relating to the InBev buyout.

Goodness!

Someone is going to have a very merry rest of his life.

With labor contract negotiations set to begin, we’ll soon see if that generosity trickles down to the workers…

With heartfelt concern for the Havasu ‘Baaja…

Redland Dam has failed in the Grand Canyon resulting in the evacuation of hundreds of people.

What has been under-reported up to this point is that the flood threatened members of the Havasu ‘Baaja who live on the Havasupai Indian Reservation within the Grand Canyon.

Many positive thoughts and wishes go out to the Havasu ‘Baaja with hopes that your families remain safe and whole and the damage minimal.

Pondering Sasquatch…

The Democratic Republic of Georgia and Russia are still at odds…our economy is in the toilet…there are all kinds of election related things going on…we’re setting up some sort of nuclear bomb facility in Poland…

…and CNN.com has a live feed of the Big Foot carcass press conference?

Blink.

Fine.

Fuck it.

Soylent Green is Sasquatch!

Thirst for Life Kick-Off Party – Saturday August 16!

Join this bitch and many others this Saturday, August 16th (tomorrow, damnit!) from 7pm-10pm for "TAKE ME OUT TO THE PAWS GAME" the fabulous Kick-Off Party to Thirst for Life 2008.

This Kick-Off event and Thirst for Life will benefit St. Louis Effort for AIDS and PAWS.

PAWS helps those with HIV/AIDS to keep their pets by providing food, vet care, grooming and more.

The Kick-Off party will take place at Just John’s in The Grove neighborhood on Manchester Ave. Just John’s will be closed to the general public during this event.

Thirst for Life is being presented by Michelob Amber Bock and will feature DJs, the best ballpark fare (yum!), and free libations from Michelob Amber Bock, Vox Vodka, deKuyper, Jagermeister, Tommy Bahama Rums, Grand Marnier, Navan, Ecco Domani wines, Sauza tequila, 180, Monster energy drinks and more!

Bid on fantastic silent auction items from local artists, autographed sports memorabilia, tickets to awesome events and a few special surprises.

Tickets are still available for only $25 while they last.

Note – keep your chil’ren at home because no one under 21 years old will be admitted.

Hoodwinked? Bamboozled?

This past Monday a bitch was asked to appear on NPR’s Tell Me More show.

Only my adoration of the fantabulous Michel Martin got my ass out of bed and at KWMU by 6:30am (ugh).

Anyhoo, I was on the show with a certain Darragh Murphy of PUMA fame to address their opposition to party unity and the then uncertainty of the Clinton’s presence at the DNC that is now certain.

Imagine my surprise when it was brought to my attention that Darragh Murphy donated to Senator McCain’s 2000 run for the Republican nomination.

A bitch has listened to Ms. Murphy’s…umm, explanation…of how her donation ended up in Senator McCain’s coffers in 2000 and I don’t follow the logic of a self-identified Democrat donating to McCain in an effort to keep then Governor Scooter B. (President Bush to the uninitiated) from winning to Republican nomination ‘cause she thought that would help Al Gore.

I’m not saying girlfriend is lying...I don’t know her or her life…but that shit doesn’t make a lick of sense.

I mean, if you follow that logic and apply it to the here and now then Murphy would be supporting Senator Clinton in an effort to unseat Senator Obama so that Senator McCain will get elected.

Pause...listen...continue.

Shit, even the crickets don't have a damn thing to say.

Blink.

I shared my thoughts in the BackTalk segment of Tell Me More...listen to the whole thing 'cause the other stuff is interesting and a bitch is at the end (wink).

BTW – you’ll want to listen to Michel Martin’s comment on the moderators selected for the debates…go on with your bad self!

Back to school…

***the first day of school in St. Louis city is August 18!!***

This bitch lives in St. Louis city and we have a back-to-school-after-summer-break public school attendance problem.

Blink.

When I first moved back home to St. Louis I was appalled at the low attendance. I don’t have chil’ren and just couldn’t wrap my mind around any of my friends with kids delaying their kids return to class.

If memory serves a bitch, my mother would have camped out for 24 hours in front of school so that we could be the first kids in line on opening day, she was so tired of our shit.
Cough.

Anyhoo, when I became a mentor to a young woman enrolled in St. Louis public schools a harsh light was cast upon the why behind some of that low attendance.

My mentee spent the entire month of July trying to get her uniform together with no money. Her family had moved three times over the summer and she didn’t have all the forms she needed. And she didn’t have shoes…or money for shoes…or anyone in her world that had money for shoes.

I bought her the first pair of new shoes she had been given since babyhood…and then tried to assist her and her mother through the process of paperwork and uniform vouchers and so on and so on.

My mentee’s mother is in-and-out as far as involvement. Her father was recently released from jail and he’s still trying to settle into some sort of routine. So, my mentee’s supports are her friends in the 'hood and me.

And she’s not alone.

When I read that the St. Louis Public School folks have asked fathers to take their child to school the first day it kind of pissed me off.

Oh, I wasn't pissed off by the value of a father angle…that’s the new “it” solution in black America. My father was an amazing dad (rest his soul)…a lousy husband but a really great father…so I’m the last person to dismiss the benefits of a cool as hell dad.

But really, can’t we just this once acknowledge that a complex situation is complex?

The issues I’ve witnessed require action from the community, not just the reintroduction of a father into the picture. Now is not the time for this Cosby-esque shit!

But I guess it is easier to propose more paternal involvement as you toss out some half assed thank you to sistahs raising kids on their own than to address the impact women's pay inequality has on their ability to provide for their children, the role that the lack of investment in the hood has on their ability to proved a safe home for their family or to investigate the many reasons why every mother or father isn’t always the kind of person we want involved in a child's life.

And hot damn, those bureaucrats sure do love the smell of a new initiative in the morning…

***did I mention that the first day of school in St. Louis city is August 18?**

Shark-Fu’s Rant of the Volunteer…

Can I just rant for a moment?

Thanks.

As most of you know this bitch is an active volunteer involved in a lot of different community-based organizations and activities.

I do it because getting off my ass and being a part of the solution matters...it makes me feel good…and I enjoy the people I get to work with.

I don’t expect thank yous or flowers (hello…allergies!) or ass kissing or gift certificates to my favorite soul food restaurant.

Pause...consider...continue.

Not that I wouldn't like gift certificates to my favorite soul-food restaurant (wink).

Anyhoo, a bitch’s reward is truly the experience…that’s the upside.

But damn it all to hell and back if the downside isn’t the assholes who just have to complain, criticize or condemn the work we do…coming out of left field to pick on some tiny little thing with freakish regularity, much like a drug resistant yeast infection, and piss in my Corn Flakes then dance on my last nerve.

Almost without exception these peevish shits have been missing in action whilst others were putting in serious time…and more often than not they aren’t even members of the organizations they are trying to "help out".

But they sure as shit have something to say once the labor is done!

If these folks spent as much time volunteering as they do mouthing off about those of us who do volunteer they might actually get the result they claim to desire.

Blink.

But that would be too much like right.

Right?

Mercy.

Ummm…

So was there an official Georgian-Russian cease-fire agreement or no?

A bitch is confused and I’m beginning to think The Man wants me to be.

Wince.

Imitation of respect - Delilahfication strikes again...

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

A couple of weekends ago Brother Rob Thurman came over the House of Bitchitude for dinner, a movie and some Mad Men. Brother Rob selected Imitation of Life for our film viewage…the 1934 one with Claudette Colbert. C-money and this bitch weren’t familiar with this version and watched in varying states of shock as Delilah Johnson (played by Louise Beavers) acted out racial stereotype after racial stereotype. The theme of Delilah was that she was more comfortable serving her kind hearted well intentioned mistress (Colbert) than striking out on her own and making millions with her pancake recipe. In other words, Delilah wants a nice white woman to take care of her...and her money...and her child's trifling ass I-don't-want-to-be-black color struck drama.

Haven't these people ever heard of Madame C.J. Walker?

***cue crickets***

Anyhoo...

Something about Imitation of Life stuck with a bitch. I kept thinking that I should be able to view such films as windows to the past, but that wasn’t where my head was. Then a certain Mignon sent this bitch a link to Joan Walsh’s piece Whew! on Salon.com and things began to fall into place…and they settled in firm as a motherfucker when news of Mark Penn’s Native Born strategy came to light.

See chil’ren, a bitch started watching the Democratic Primary season with great enthusiasm. I was excited to see Senator Clinton run and encouraged by the fact that she was in the lead right up until Iowa.

Senator Clinton’s campaign lost my respect...lost it all on their own without spin or some non-existent Black People Rise & Be Pissed newsletter telling me what to do or how to think. And I posted here through the evolution of that loss…yet some (note that a bitch did not say all) Clinton supporters seem to think that I’ve been spun by some magnificent machine that can control when, where and why people get offended by the shit that other people say and do.

A bitch has responded to that argument by pointing out that I saw, heard and witnessed incidents of coded and overt bigotry that even the most optimistic true believer shouldn’t be able to casually deny…and I have been amazed that, although I’d never deny the sexism that has plagued the Democratic selection process, some (note that a bitch did not say all) Clinton supporters are capable of completely denying the race baiting anti-Muslim fear of a brown people presidency shit and acting as if a bitch is just being...wait for it...sensitive.

Pause…drink ice water…continue.

And there it is.

Do you see it?

Delilah strikes again!

Joan Walsh went there and she probably doesn’t even know she did.

Mmmhmmm, a bitch has decided to call it Delilahfication (wink) and define it as the refusal to acknowledge that people of color think independently and, as a result of a lifetime lived as people of color, may see things your…and I’ll quote Ms. Walsh here… "sheltered white civil rights backer(s)" ass may miss.

Like race baiting for political gain coming out of the mouth of someone you have historically viewed as oh so tolerant and a friend of black folks.

For example, a bitch saw Mark Penn as an unethical race baiting knavish shit rather early in the campaign.

And Bob Kerrey’s shit wasn’t even slick.

The list continueth, but Walsh prefers to ignore the whole in favor of her wish...her need...to see the Clintons as incapable of participating in such things.

In her mind and in the minds of many it is just too disturbing to think that the Clinton’s deliberately used a strategy that played on America’s never ending struggle with race and fear of the other.

It is much easier to simply dismiss those who do make that charge as being misled, hence the Delilahfication of Clinton’s critics on this issue.

Sigh.

The thing is a bitch respects the political sophistication of both Clintons too much to give them that out.

Sorry, but this one time Clinton fan can’t buy them and their surrogates making verbal malfunction after verbal malfunction after verbal malfunction by mistake.

Now we have the recent news that Mark Penn of the cocaine, cocaine and did I mention cocaine Penns was pitching a tactic that would have cast Senator Obama as not reflecting American values…as some kind of foreign other who lacks the American habits and ways that “real” Americans prefer in their leaders.

Yeah.

Nice.

While some see Senator Clinton’s rejection of that pitch as a positive this bitch sees the pitch itself as more proof of where Penn and, given his leadership position, the campaign were willing to go but for the potential negatives out-weighing the positives.

Okay, so I’m offended by the thought behind that American or not American enough tactic.

Is it anti-immigrant…anti-world traveler…or anti-other?

Lawdy, Lawdy if only some sheltered white civil rights backer could explain it all away so’s I can go back to likin' these folks 'gain…

Isaac Hayes 1942 - 2008...

Isaac Hayes will live on in his music and those influenced by his music.

Hot buttered soul to the very end...

While Scooter B. was watching Olympic basketball…

…others were invading the Republic of Georgia.

Blink.

Now it appears that Russia has launched a two front full scale invasion that now threatens Tbilisi.

Blink again.

Georgia's President Mikheil Saakashvili has signed an internationally brokered cease-fire proposal that is on the way to Russia through French Minister Bernard Kouchner and Finnish Foreign Minister Alexander Stubb, who are available to get their diplomacy on despite the fact that both France and Finland are competing in the Olympics.

Mmmhmm, for real.

Satu Makela-Nummela of Finland just won a Gold medal and France barely lost to the US team in a swim relay.

Yet ministers from both of those countries were able to drag themselves away from the coverage and get their diplomacy on because people are dying and a key region is tumbling into occupation.

Amazing!

Ugh.

This is serious as hell...the human toll, the regional consequences and the potential for this border conflict to draw allies in and escalate swiftly into something far worse…gulp...yeah, this shit is serious and should be addressed as such.

And I can’t help but wonder what, if any, pull we have with President Medvedev of Russia.

***cue crickets***

Shit.

Pondering timing, a condom and nonoxinol-9…

A bitch takes a Friday off and all hell breaks out all over the damned place!

Lawd, have mercy…where to start?

Edwards?

Yeah, I might as well get to this.

Cough.

A bitch is never surprised when a politician is revealed to be a human being with all the fucked up from the floor up flaws we humans have.

My heart goes out to Elizabeth Edwards even though she knew about her husband’s affair back in 2006 and supported his run for the 2008 Democratic nomination despite the fact that no one in their right mind should have thought this shit would hold up under the typical media pressure.

And a bitch is sincerely concerned that the issue of poverty John Edwards so passionately…umm, err…well shit, now that word seems dirty…so ardently championed during his recent run is being pushed aside in favor of schadenfreudal explorations of who got who pregnant and when two grown ass motherfuckers who should have known better started getting it on.

Ugh.

But I must confess that Edwards claim that he knows he isn’t the father of his extra-marital bedmate’s baby got this bitch’s comprehensive sex education hackles up.

What?

Well, shit, the man was the very definition of TMI during that ABC News interview but his lone evidence that he didn’t father that baby was timing.

Timing?

Oh hell no!

How about timing, a condom and some nonoxinol-9?

Huh?

Or was that too private in the context of an interview that got all up into the who, what, when and why of that man on woman outside of the guidelines of sanctified marriage sex-tastic interaction?

Whew.

Pause…consider…continue.

A bitch is beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get through a Voter Education class term without an opportunity for Sex Education breaking out…

Blink.

Progress…

A bitch and C-Money sat through a five hour (wince) person centered plan meeting Friday that was more of a work session than a sign off.

They did provide doughnuts, so things started off on a sugar-based positive note.

Although it there were several frustrating moments…there always are when we have to sit down and humanize my autistic brother’s residential treatment plan…the meeting did get the ball rolling and allow for all of us to voice our concern for Bill and resolve to make some serious changes.

Things are moving in the right direction even if the process is going to work a nerve more often than not.

A very special thank you to C-Money for being the Mistress of Next Steps and a rock every time I need her to be one.

And thanks to all of y’all who have given support advice and van-based vehicle lock upgrade recommendations (wink)…

People centered plan preparedness…

This bitch and C-Money will be attending our brother Bill’s plan meeting tomorrow. For those of you unfamiliar with the world of residential treatment, a plan meeting is where guardians, staff and social workers gather to create a document that will contain my brother’s life.

For real, it has everything from his dreams and wishes to his dietary needs and his daily socialization goals.

It’s a jarring thing to look at a document and know that your loved one’s life is in there and it is a humbling task to review such a document on behalf of another person who is counting on you to make sure he doesn’t get fucked over.

Sigh.

And Lawd have mercy, plan meetings work this bitch’s nerves.

Okay, meetings work my nerves…but plan meetings sit on a nerve and do a dance.

Anyhoo, our hope is to include a plan to address Bill’s recent jumping out of a moving van in traffic incident in his people centered plan this year.

Pause…consider…continue.

With any luck this meeting will include doughnuts.

Toodles!

Ugh…

St. Louis political junkies are all buzzing about the indictment of Rep. Scott Muschany, R-Frontenac on a felony charge of “deviate sexual assault.”

The sanctified man-on-woman married with two chil’ren Muschany is suspected of assaulting the 14 year old daughter of a former Missouri House employee…a woman Muschany was allegedly romantically involved with.

Ugh.

That alone is enough to give a person pause and cause the stomach to turn, but learning this on the heals of the former chief of staff for Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder pleading guilty to displaying sexually explicit materials after getting caught in a police sting (Eric Feltner believed he was contacting a 13 year old girl over the Internet, but that person really was an undercover officer and Feltner was accused of graphically discussing sexual acts in written Internet messages).…well, mayhap something of a pattern emergeth in our Republican controlled government down there in Jefferson City.

Blink.

What?

I’m just saying!

Oh and, as the fantabulous Pam Spaulding points out, it gets even freakier because in 2006 Muschany co-sponsored legislation to toughened sex offender laws.

This bitch hopes he benefits from that legislation…big time!

Mercy.

Lawd, a bitch should have put down money because my ass saw this one coming…

Shall we?

A bitch is deeply concerned that one of the sacred tenants of bitchitude (though shall not trifle) is going to be violated during the Democratic National Convention this month. Specifically, I’m concerned by the news that supporters of Senator Clinton plan to get their catharsis on by having her name put forth on the convention floor.

Oh, I’m not against floor battles or convention-based drama. This work, hard working American owes more than I can repay to a certain Mississippi delegation that spoke truth to power at the 1964 Democratic Convention. But it is the legacy of Fannie Lou Hamer and the Mississippi Freedom Democratic Party (MFDP) that a bitch is thinking about now that news has broken…hard…that supporters of Senator Clinton need some sort of cleansing process during the Democratic National Convention.

Call me old school, but when this bitch protests it ain’t about working through my feelings or coming to terms with a political loss. I’m about action and change or I may as well stay home with a bucket of chicken and vodka followed by cran. My feminist sensibilities are beyond offended by the notion that women supporters need to yell and scream before they can come together…right now (sing it like the Beatles, baby!)…in support of Senator Obama.

Have y’all lost your damn minds?

My Gawd, I can’t imagine sitting at that fundraiser…okay, let’s keep it real – there’s no way in hell this bitch could have afforded the price of admission to that big bank shit and even if I could I’ve got better things to do with money.

Cough.

But anyhoo, if by some strange set of events I were at a fundraiser where a candidate I supported told me that she understood my need to vent and get it out of my system in response to what I hope was a serious inquiry and not just the first step in a round of symbolic shit disturbing for no motherfucking reason other than to disturb shit protests, this bitch would take back my rubber check and walk the fuck out.

What the fuck?

You either seriously want Senator Clinton to be considered for nomination or you just want to let the party know…again…that you’re pissed off.

And I’m sorry, but something offends me about any candidate telling a bunch of women backers that she hopes they’ll get their chance to fuss.

That isn’t the legacy of Fannie Lou, people.

Hell, that ain’t even the legacy of Mary Richards!

I may not have liked the way it went down or the tactics used or the race baiting surrogates, but Senator Clinton mounted a serious campaign for the 2008 Democratic nomination.

One would think her supporters would want her to have a serious role not some half assed festival of venting...oh and yelling and screaming...followed by a token display of togetherness.

Blink.

Happy birthday C-Money!

Today is my sister C-Money’s birthday, y’all.

Yay!

I have been blessed since birth to have the most amazing slightly older (wink) sister to take on the world with…

…and I know it.

You are the definition of fantabulous, C-Money.

Happiest birthday wishes to you...

Assume the position..!

Lifetime Network just released some poll results from their "Every Woman Counts" campaign which is supposed to get more women engaged in politics.

Blink.

That's cool.

A bitch is all for more folks getting involved in politics...

...but Reuters has earned a session with this bitch and my Merciless Rod of Correction for the way they are covering those results!

Not for the article by Claudia Parsons that actually details the results of the Lifetime Network poll.

Uh uh, Reuters shall face the rod for selecting the following result for the title for Ms. Parson’s article piece about those poll results…

More women want to carpool with Obama than McCain

Well, golly gee Reuters!

Thanks a bunch for presenting those daunting poll results in a way that we woman folk can understand!

Oh and hugs plus kisses to you, Reuters, for helping society better understand how women voters think and what matters to us.

Ugh!

Oh, I understand that such questions often help poll addicts get their fix...umm, err...speculate over how voters really see candidates or why voters like one person over the other.

But damn it all to hell, slapping that shit up as the title is just…ugh.

Oh fuck it.

Assume the position, Reuters!

Ahh, the joy of driving sassified people to get their vote on

A bitch adores voting.

I truly do!

Not only is voting a necessary part of renewing my license to practice the fine art of bitchitude (wink), but it is also an opportunity for this bitch to hang out with my Voter Education students as I drive their sassified selves to the polls.

ABB's Vote-based Field Report - Shift #1...

Picked up Voter Education students at the shelter and was greeted by a festival of fussing over who was going to get to ride in the front seat.

A bitch went off after 3 minutes of that mess and sounded freakishly like my mother (shudder).

Obviously amused students entered Miss Sister Girl Cabrio then proceeded to have giggle fits all the way to the elementary school where they then got their vote on without incident. Upon exiting the school said Voter Educations students indulged in another festival of fussing over who was going to get to ride in the front seat on the way back to the shelter.

A bitch went off…again.

This resulted in another round of giggle fits and eventually a bitch joined in on that shit. Upon arriving back at the shelter my students announced…

“Ms. Shark-Fu that was fun! You crazy! Let’s do it again next week!”

Mercy.

A bitch is exhausted and I’ve got three more of these cab-esque trips to do today!

***logs off whilst sending thanks to the Divine One that elections are not a weekly thang***

A murder in St. Louis city…

Carl Sharp, a former high school basketball star and a coach and mentor to area youth, lost his life when he was shot allegedly over a dispute over burger.

The alleged murderer is 16 years old.

Carl Sharp was a mentor…and so am I.

The shooting took place just a couple of blocks away from where my mentee lives…this, like too many other shootings and killings.

I don’t know, but the death of a mentor by a youth over such a stupid thing saddens the hell out of me.

Sigh.

One of my favorite radio stations, 104.9 FM, was hosting a discussion about this today and I listened as people called in to talk about how angry chil’ren are today…how violent they have become…how older generations have failed and how apathy towards community involvement is the culprit.

But as someone who volunteers with young people I just can’t bring myself to blame them for their anger…just for the way they express it. I am a witness to the poverty, violence and abuse that too many youth are reared in…if they were not angry then they'd have to be insane.

I do not blame them for mirroring the violence they see adults display…television, music and images carry some of the blame but most of the young people I know learned how to lead with their fist and talk later at home by a parent or guardian.

This isn’t as simple as the problem of hair trigger tempers resulting in violent expressions of anger. It isn’t about blame and it will not be solved through token efforts like some fucking billboard declaring that Strong Marriages Build Strong Families or “leading black celebrities” fussing in clipped tones whilst lounging in air-conditioned auditoriums.

This is about us. Our communities, our towns and our expectations. This is about a lot of people doing what is currently being done by a few.

And I’m not talking race, class or gender…a bitch grew up in a rather fucked up and damaged middle class suburb, so I know that money ain’t the cure and black folk haven’t cornered the market on drama.

What I am talking about is a majority, instead of a minority, of a community really giving a damn.

I don’t know if that’s the answer, but it is the only thing I see consistently missing.

I just don’t know.

May we all be moved to act…to mentor or teach or coach…may that be both a tribute and a legacy.

You might say I’m a dreamer

But please Gawd don’t let me be the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one…

Carl Sharp was 26 years old.

Missouri Voter Bill of Rights…

Alright y'all, Tuesday (tomorrow August 5th) is the Missouri Primary and that means a bitch and my fellow Missourians will get our vote on.

If you encounter any problems please refer to the Missouri Voters Bill of Rights and then call the number listed below.

You Have the Right to Vote!

Call 1-866-OUR-VOTE (1-866-687-8683)

MISSOURI VOTERS' BILL OF RIGHTS...

You have the right to vote - it's the law, and you have the proof in your hands!

You can bring this bill of rights with you into the polls.

If you feel your rights have been violated, call toll free: 1-866-OUR-VOTE (1-866-687-8683). This hot line is here to help all voters. It is completely non-partisan and does not support any candidate or issue.

1. You have the right to vote if you are in line when the polls close at 7 p.m. §115.407.

2. Photo ID is NOT Required. Voters must show identification to vote. §115.427.1. But it does not need to include your photo or your signature. You can present any one of the following:
*ID card issued by a federal, state or local government authority or agency;
*ID card from a college, university, vocational or technical school located in Missouri;
*current utility bill, bank statement, government check, paycheck or other government document that contains your name and current address;
*driver’s license or state ID card from Missouri or another state; or
*voter identification card sent to you in the mail by the election authority.

Voters without ID can vote a regular ballot if personally known by two election judges (one from each party).

3. You have the right to cast a provisional ballot if your eligibility can’t be established. § 115.430.2. But a provisional ballot cast in the wrong polling place will not count. Make sure you are directed to vote at your correct polling place or at a central polling place.

4. You have the right to assistance to help you vote. §115.445.3. You can get help from an election official, or may bring any person of your choice (including a child, relative or friend) to help before, during or after voting. The assistant does not have to be over 18 or a registered voter. You may bring children into the polling place with you.

5. Voters with disabilities have a right to accessible voting. If your polling place is not accessible, poll workers must come to your car and let you vote curbside outside your polling place upon request. You have a right to an accessible ballot (voting machines tilt, move up and down, and are equipped with accommodations for the visually impaired). You may move to the front of the line if your disability prevents you from waiting in line.

6. If you have moved within the same county and have not been removed from the list of registered voters, you have the right to vote at a central polling place or at the polling place that serves your new address. § 115.165.2

7. If you make a mistake or "spoil" your ballot before you submit it, you can request a new one. § 115.439.4

8. If you were convicted of a felony other than one related to voting, and have completed your sentence (including any probation or parole), you have the right to register to vote and vote. § 115.133.4. The deadline is Oct. 8, 2008.

9. No one is allowed to try to influence your vote within 25 feet of the polling place. § 115.637(18). No one at a polling place may intimidate you.

10. You have a choice of voting systems. You can use a paper ballot or an electronic voting machine.

Questions about Your Rights? Call: 1-866-OUR-VOTE

Primary preparedness…

The Missouri Primary is August 5 and this bitch will be busier than ever right up until those polls close.

Well, more like up until when the polls would be closing if they weren’t being kept open by some court order because someone tried to fuck someone else over and deny them the vote.

Blink.

What?

Shit, this is St. Louis…a bitch is just keeping it real! Poll closing times are basically a guide for the judge or judges who will be handing down the court order or orders that almost always are required here.

Sigh

Anyhoo, a bitch will be canvassing and info. dropping this weekend. My feet are going to hurt like hell, but there’s no better way to get the message out and hear from the masses!

I’m pretty sure I’m scheduled on the phones Monday or maybe that’s more canvassing (wince).

Then Tuesday (Primary Day...yay!) this bitch will be driving my Voter Education students to the polls.

Pause…write reminder to fill Miss Sister Girl Cabrio’s tank…continue.

Anyhoo, tis the season for all things political. See you if I see you…or call you…or slip some information into your mailbox.

And don't forget to vote Tuesday August 5...

Huh?

A bitch was struggling to wake the hell up this morning…nursing my first cup of coffee like it was the elixir of life, for the love of all that’s caffeinated…when news broke that the FBI has finally identified a suspect in the anthrax mailing case.

Hold on....hold...wait for it..!

And that the suspect they have identified killed himself before they could bring him to justice.

Blink.

Huh?

Let me see if I've got this shit right.

Former Attorney General Ashcroft (shudder then cross thyself) publicly identified Steven Hatfill as a "person of interest" in the anthrax case and then the FBI investigated Hatfill like a dawg on a meat-based bone only to turn around and settle with the man (using the people’s money, mind you!!) for millions of dollars because he was the wrong dude even though they wouldn't just say that he was the wrong dude...and now they announce that they have the real culprit and were fixin' to go for the death penalty but that he killed himself before they could take his ass into custody.

Really?

Ah shit, now my Afro hurts.

Is that really how they’re going to end this shit?!?

***sniff followed by sniff and another sniff***

A bitch detects the stank of bullshit.

Shark-Fu’s Check for Bullshit Mental Exploration of the freakishly Convenient Turn of Events in the Anthrax Mail Case…

FBI Director Robert Mueller told CNN last month that progress had been made on the case and he was confident it would be resolved. So the FBI knew who the fuck they were allegedly going to take down for this shit in July.

The man they are now claiming was behind the anthrax mailings (not to be confused with the man they spent years claiming was the man behind the anthrax mailing then paid off after realizing he wasn’t the man behind that shit after all) apparently lived and worked in Maryland…which is damn close to where the FBI lives. So, it is not as if the FBI had to travel far and wide to find the guy.

Ummm…so, why the fuck was the man behind a terror attack who worked at Fort Detrick (Lawd, give me strength) allowed to roam free, gather up meds or a weapon and allegedly kill himself after being made aware he was the new person of interest in this case but not arrested even though they are now acting as if the fucking case is solved?

***cue crickets***

Signed, sealed, delivered my black ass!

I call bullshit on this tidy as a motherfucker and too perfectly wrapped up to be the damned truth tale until further information comes forth!

Shit, The Man lost the presumption of competence in this case long ago…

…and any dawg owner can tell you, where there’s stank there’s usually shit.