Friday, June 27, 2008

Oh no they didn’t try to slip this one past a bitch on a Friday…

A bitch remembers the anthrax by mail terror attacks very well. I worked for a radio ownership group that had just enough scandalicious on-air talent to warrant a security briefing for all staff that came in contact with mail. I’ll never forget watching the new reports of people who were ill or had died as a result of murder sent by post.

So, I’ve followed the case…or lack of a case…for years and I was intrigued by the Justice Department’s singling out of a certain former Army scientist named Steven Hatfill who was leaked as a person of interest in the 2001 anthrax attacks.

Well, that same Justice Department has reportedly reached a $5.8 million dollar settlement with Hatfill that will result in the dismissal of a case brought by Hatfill claiming that the Justice Department violated his privacy rights when they leaked his name to reporters.
The Associated Press reports Justice Department spokesman Brian Roehrkasse responding to the settlement with this bullshit, "The United States does not admit to any violation of the Privacy Act and continues to deny all liability in connection with Dr. Hatfill's claims."

Yeah, right.

Y’all are just gonna pay $2.825 million dollars up front then buy Hatfill a $3 million annuity that will pay him $150,000 each year for 20 years for the hell of it?

Uh uh, that dawg don’t hunt…plus, this bitch is beyond tired of government money going toward negotiated pay-offs for all the wrongs The Man has done.

If a bitch were in power (Ruler of the Known Universe or something like that...wink), all Justice Department employees who worked on this fubarity would be required to pay into the We-Fucked-Up-and-Spilled-Rumors-Dressed-Up-as-Facts-to-the-Press fund until they hit that magic $5.8 million dollar number or died trying.

Government minions would still do that wretched shit…but at least they’d do it with some fucking this-could-cost-me caution.

As for our government apprehending and prosecuting the organization, individuals or individual responsible for the 2001 anthrax attacks that sickened 17 and killed five people?

***cue crickets***

Mercy…

Funktastic…

I don’t know about y’all, but a bitch needs a funk break.

Stand up in work-based area…stretch arms high then down to the ground…shake it, baby, shake it…continue.

***cue Parliament***

Good evening.
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong.
We have taken control as to bring you this special show.
We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving.

Welcome to station WEFUNK, better known as We-Funk,
Or deeper still, the Mothership Connection.
Home of the extraterrestrial brothers,
Dealers of funky music.
P.Funk, uncut funk, The Bomb.

Coming to you directly from the Mothership
Top of the Chocolate Milky Way, 500,000 kilowatts of P.Funk-power.
So kick back, dig, while we do it to you in your eardrums.
And me? I'm known as Lollipop Man, alias the Long-Haired Sucker.
My motto is:

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut!
Make mine the P
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up!
Wants to get funked up
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
Yeah
I want my funk uncut!
Make mine the P
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up!

Gawd, I needed that...

Get your Pride on!

This bitch hopes to see some of y’all locals out at Tower Grove Park this weekend for Pridefest 2008!

I’ll be at the one with the Afro (wink) at various locations Saturday and Sunday, including the PROMO booth.

Where? Tower Grove Park (South City, baby!!)

The Damage? Child, I though you knew! Pride is free and open to the public.When? Saturday June 28th and Sunday June 29th - Parade Saturday at noon & Pet Parade Sunday at noon (no, the sorta-beagles will not be there…trust a bitch, my life has enough drama without adding a beagle social hour to the mix!).

Note – there is strong rumor that trifling protestors will be out in force. Anticipate that they will demonstrate an extreme lack of home training that may tax your last lavender nerve…but let’s all agree to not let a bunch of ig’nant assholes piss in our Corn Flakes.

‘kay?

Cool.

Happy Pride, y’all!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

On acting white…

We’ll be jumping right on into shit this morning, chil’ren.

I can not stand it when people refer to a person’s manner of speech as “talking white” or their ways as “acting white”.

Black is not a monolith and we do not all think, act, talk, eat, pray, fuck, sing, dance, vote or manifest anger the exact same motherfucking way.

If a black person is running for office that does not automatically mean that she or he is going to make affirmative action, poverty and pay-day loan scams the foundation of their platform. For the record – black America is also complex and there are a lot of policy issues that impact the lives of a majority of black people, which include but are not limited to poverty, affirmative action and pay-day loan scams.

Pause…breath in and then exhale…continue.

All people running for office…any office...should be expected to build a platform that addresses the needs of the people they wish to serve.

Black candidates…being human (gasp!) and therefore people (shock and awe!!)…should be held to that same standard.

That isn’t acting white…speeches about the shit are not examples of talking white…and this bitch is going to move past anger into some serious rage if one more motherfucker insults me and mine through the assertion that only white people discuss the economy, healthcare, the war and international diplomacy.

Ralph Nader ought to be ashamed of himself for high-jacking legitimate important policy issues and telling the American people that those are black issues.

He ought to be ashamed of himself for putting forth the notion that a black person isn’t fully black if they don’t act like he expects them to and society has instructed them to.

And he should have checked himself before he wrecked himself by jumping onto the ‘I can say this ig’nant, insulting and racially stereotyping bullshit because I’ve spent years channeling my white guilt into black people issues!’ platform with Geraldine Ferarro and the rest of the I’m-not-a-bigot-I-just-play-one-on-t.v. crowd that lurks within all political parties.

For the record, this is an example of a race card this bitch is familiar with…the one that has so-called allies maintaining low expectations and out-dated assumptions that they dress up in the language of the Civil Rights Era but which are actually built on a foundation of bigotry that’s been masquerading as tolerance far too long.

I leave you with the words of the fantabulous Aretha Franklin…

Let's go back, let's go back, let's go way on back when
I didn't even know you, you came to me and too much you wouldn't take
I ain't no psychiatrist, I ain't no doctor with degree
It don't take too much high IQ's to see what you're doing to me

You better think
Think
Think about what you're trying to do to me
Yeah, think
Think, think
Let your mind go, let yourself be free

Oh freedom…freedom…freedom…

Yeah,

Freedom!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

There you go. Now we know...

Note - my apologies to the late great Nat King Cole...but this was the song that lept into my head when a certain Franklin e-mailed me with the line "guess for got ig'nant on the radio again!"
Shall we?

Rancid, that’s what you are
Rancid, though televised or on the radio
Like the stank of bigotry that clings to thee
How the thought of you does things to me (shudder)
Never before has someone been more

Rancid in every way
And forever more, that’s how you’ll stay
That’s why, asshole, its incredible
That someone so fucking unremarkable
Maintains listeners/advertisers/a fucking job despite being the living definition of rancidity!


Pause…consider…continue.

Okay, so that last line needs work, but fuck a duck…this bitch is operating on one cup of coffee and a double dose of aspirin.

Wince.

Shall we?

Don Imus is an asshole.

He’s also one of the 7 in 10 Americans who didn’t admit to race bias in a recent survey but was fucking bullshitting themselves.

What?
Oh c’mon, most people don’t admit to taking a piss in the shower but…yeah, mmmhmmm.

Anyhoo, Imus mouthing off about a football player being in legal trouble because he’s black and, after confirming that football player’s race, stating that "There you go. Now we know."…ugh…in an obvious attempt to connect the man’s legal drama with his blackness (and no, that bullshit about Imus claiming he said that shit because he felt the football player was being picked on because he is black doesn’t now, didn’t yesterday and never will pass the stank test) was simply an inevitable verbal display of bigotry.

Imus has a problem with race that shall not be overcome simply by placing him in daily contact with people of color any more than Strom Thurmond’s racist ass was enlightened by the sexual exploitation of a black woman on staff at his home or the birth of their child.

But my problem isn’t with Don Imus…it is with the listeners who attract the advertisers who are then used by the radio station ownership group (Citadel Broadcasting Corporation) to justify employing Don Imus.

I can’t help but wonder if the listeners, particularly those who tuned in after the nappy headed hos drama, aren’t also members of the 7 in 10 Americans who suffer from race bias but don’t admit it and loudly declare themselves not bigots as if you can announce yourself innocent of an indictment brought on by thy own motherfucking actions/word/listening habits.

And this bitch is looking for a list of every advertiser who is running on WABC…every fucking one of them.

My working, hard working American bitchified self damn well isn’t budgeting myself through a gas crisis so that I can support the motherfuckers who support Don fucking Imus.

There you go.

Now we know…

Monday, June 23, 2008

What’s in a name?

A bitch read this article about the drama many women face when they change their surname post-marriage with fascination. I’ve certainly experienced the trouble caused when e-mail addresses are changed or phone directories aren’t updated, but it seems that even travel can be fucked up by a surname change.

Mercy!

I must admit that I’m not a huge fan of the name change tradition. Oh, I understand the root of it…I just don’t see myself ever doing it.

Mayhap that’s because…well, my full name kicks ass!

What?

It does!

My first and last name flow together…perfectly. And I’ve been called by this name since birth, damn it! Why the fuck would I tamper with that shit? Come to think of it, I wouldn’t since I also can't see myself doing marriage. A bitch isn’t a fan of formal document signing marriage...not my kind of gig, though I'll sure as shit fight the fight to extend marriage equality to all Americans...but if I found myself taking that plunge I’d certainly have to keep my name.

I understand that not everyone is taken with their given name. Shit, I have friends who never really liked their first and last name together and changed that shit as soon as they could once they committed to a partner or got married.

But I can’t help but wonder if the changing of names for married women hasn’t become the new veil thing. You know, it used to symbolize something but now it has become an accessory.

And I also wonder whether men would change their last name if given the chance. I mean, y’all can’t all be in love with your last names.

Mmmhmmm, it may be time for a movement here.

Or is the passport/e-mail/voice mail/business card/social security number/driver’s license drama a rite of passage...like the throwing of the whatsitcalled?

Blink.

St. Louis Race for the Cure…


This bitch joined over 63,000 St. Louisans to support the 2008 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure this past Saturday, which raised a record $3.3 million dollars.

Fantabulous!

Congrats to all the participants, race organizers and volunteers...

Fuck…

A bitch was saddened to learn that George Carlin died.

I count Carlin as one of my major influencers for obvious (wink) and some not so obvious reasons.

Carlin’s work will forever be the definition of keeping shit real. He questioned our society and our fucked up ways with humor and biting accuracy. And he brought us all long on a journey that went far beyond rebellion and changed the definition of obscene.

It seems fitting that my first reaction upon hearing of Carlin’s passing was a slightly shocked “Fuck!”

Sigh.

George Carlin leaves behind an amazing legacy of intelligence, humor, art and social change…

…and this bitch is going to miss the hell out of that crazy motherfucker.

Friday, June 20, 2008

A flood-based thank you…

A bitch would like to thank everyone who has contacted me to offer support and because you are concerned about my river city located ass.

Ya’ll are too sweet!

The Bitch Squad is not currently in the path but thousands of my fellow Missourians are facing dangerous days ahead. Please check out the information listed on this website (the right hand side of the page) regarding how to help, what’s needed and ways to volunteer.

And please spare a prayer or thought for those who have lost their homes, farms and lives to this disaster.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

By request - the primate connection…

A certain Sydney from Charlotte asked this bitch to comment on the use of primate imagery and dolls to depict Senator Obama.

Shall we?

A bitch went on record years ago…right here on this blog…about the use of primates in connection with black people. Shit, I even had to post a response to all the responses!

I’m not surprised that it has emerged again now that America has its first black Presidential presumptive nominee from a major party.

I am, however, disgusted.

Pause…sip ice water…continue.

Since one of the more infamous uses of the primate connection was pulled by Nazis during the 1936 Olympics against the great Jesse Owens, this bitch thinks it is worth pointing out that using that kind if imagery puts the person using it in a certain kind of…ummm, group.

Too often people dismiss the use of primate imagery to represent a black person as careless or lacking insight rather than acknowledging it as part of a deliberate attempt to classify black people as lesser than full evolved human beings.

Life has taught me that these folks are not worthy of the benefit of the doubt. More importantly, why the fuck do people feel the need to give them the benefit of the doubt?

Is it because people are disturbed to think that there are Americans in 2008 who respond to a black person seeking high office by dusting off Racism for Dummies and pulling out stuffed primates then dressing them up in Obama 2008 t-shirts…rustle up a simple assed grin followed by a shrug and protest that they didn’t mean anything by it?

C’mon people…this is America, for the love of all that is built on a foundation of ig’nance towards others!

We are not post racial...we do not have a population that stumbles over racial imagery like fresh faced chil'ren who have never ever ever seen that shit used in a negative way and gosh, sure didn't mean to say what they said when they did it.

These primate doll and monkey t-shirt people are not making a perfectly understandable mistake.

They are using imagery that is easily understood by the population they seek to reach.

A discussion of the primate connection is not an opportunity to point out that we humans are primates and, as members of the superfamily Hominoidea, are just another primate species and blah followed by blah and another blah.

This primate connection shit is damaging and it is wrong.

For all the attempts to perfume it up with excuses and explanations, it stinks the same stink it did (insert last time some asshole used a primate to depict a black person who threatened their notion of racial superiority).

To argue otherwise is to devolve and trust a bitch - we haven’t moved forward enough on the ledge to be taking that many steps back.

400 for Barack…

Imagine standing shoulder to shoulder with 400 fellow believers in CHANGE, believers that our country can and will be different.

Organizers need your help to gather marchers for Obama in the Pride Parade (St. Louis Missouri)! They're looking for members of the LGBT community and straight allies to come together to walk for CHANGE.

Tell everyone you know about this- it will be a powerful experience, one not to be missed. It's a great opportunity to be registering voters before, during and after the parade as well.

400 amazing people marching for Obama in the Pride parade?

YES WE CAN!

The parade starts at noon on Sunday June 29th, but they will be gathering at the NorthWest corner of Utah St and S Grand Blvd between 10 and 11 am. Come prepared to stand outside (in late June heat), have lots of fun, and show your Pride for the LGBT community and for Barack Obama! For more information or to get involved in LGBT Pride efforts for Obama in St. Louis, contact Sarah Hunter at hunter.sarah.e at gmail dot com.

If you plan to march with Obama supporters in the parade, please RSVP online at http://my.barackobama.com/page/event/detail/4gq9 or contact Sarah.

If you'd like to register as a volunteer for a two-hour shift registering voters or attending the Obama booth during the festival on Saturday or Sunday, contact Sarah.

Daaaaaamn Sarah - you are going to be busy, busy and busy!

Have a Happy Pride!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Pondering what’s harder…

A bitch caught this news item on whether it is easier to raise boys or girls and…well, I’m quizzical.

I’ve never trusted research that is based on gender stereotypes. Coming from an academic background in Anthropology, a bitch knows that there are no absolutes and often even the more than likely averages tumble when confronted with reality.

So, when I read a question like “is it harder to raise boys or girls?” my knee jerk reaction is about a 4.5 on the Afro pain meter.

Note – a bitch is not a parent and has never played a parent on television, but I do have two beagles (1 Theo and 1 Betsey)
Anyhoo…

How does one answer that question if you are a parent, caretaker or guardian of chil’ren?

If your daughter…we’ll call her Mitzi…was challenging to raise, is that a gender issue or is it more about Mitzi?

Or if your son…we’ll call him Biff…was a contrary pain in the ass from jump, is that because he is a boy or is it because that’s just the way Biff got his childhood on?

I’ve heard this all before.

Girls are people-oriented.

Boys don’t listen well because their hearing is different.

Girls are insecure and lack confidence.

Boys are harder when they are young but girls will drive you up the wall in their teens.

Sigh.

I can’t help but wonder if chil’ren don’t feed off of our gender expectations of them and behave in a way to meet them…almost as if the adults in their lives are unconsciously guiding them to meet gender expectations.

I’m reminded of my own childhood and of the many times the adults in my world sent out those messages of what was expected of a young woman.
Hush…girls don’t talk loud, interrupt or make demands.

Smile…girls don’t express anger or frustration or dislike.

Soften up…girls give comfort and maternal support.
Then I think about the messages sent to the young men in my world.

Speak up…boys speak their minds so you need to assert yourself!

Give us a frown…after all, boys will be boys and public displays of frustration are to be expected.

Toughen up…stop acting like a girl.

And then I go back to the question…is it harder to raise boys than girls?..and I can’t help but think that it needs some rephrasing and redirecting toward children and away from parents.

Mayhap “is it or was it hard to grow up?”...followed by “why do you think it is or was hard or difficult?”

Blink.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The floods…

Lawd, a bitch hates floods.

I’m a Missourian and I’ve sure as shit seen my fair share of flooded out this or flooded out that, but these springtime floods are the nastiest. We sit here in St. Louis city and watch at least two weeks worth of dangerous storms and rain followed by the slow rise of the Mississippi…as it floods our neighbors to the north in Iowa…as it heads on down to Missouri.

I sincerely hope the levees hold for all of us who live near the river.

Sigh.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy father’s day…

My father died ten year’s ago, but I didn’t lose him. As a matter of fact, he has become larger in my memory and I have taken the time to relish the good times and mourn the many falling outs that combine to make up our time together,

As I look back at the past ten years I hope that my father would be proud. I hope that he would read my writing and be inspired to launch into one of his fantabulous debates over history, politics and life. And I hope that he would look upon his children…his son and his daughters…and know, for just one second, how very much we love him still and remember him always.

My father was born in 1939 and grew up poor and hungry. I remember many a Saturday spent browsing through the grocery store with him while he munched on fruit swiped from the produce section. We’d go up and down every aisle…he’d select a ton of shit we didn’t need…and there’d be this thrill in him to be able to provide what we needed and also buy what we wanted. To this day, I share that sense of accomplishment when I go to the market...that I am able to put food on my family’s table and that my labor provides for that food.

My father taught that to me without a single lecture even as he gave me love, support and judgment.

He worked for decades in a corporate setting he could not stand at a job that regularly insulted his intelligence and challenged his integrity. But his gift to us was to share that with us…to let us see how tired he was, how frustrated and angry he was with a system that hired diverse talent but didn’t value diversity. He’d get up every day and return to work because it was the right ting to do despite those realities.

This father’s day I remember the many lessons my father taught me. I remember ice cream for breakfast and paying my bills before I buy something I don’t need…being active in my community and the need for community service rather than vacant criticism tossed out from a distance…and I remember those trips to the grocery store and seeing the simple joy of a man who had known great hunger being able to provide for his children as he had always dreamed of doing.

The world is complex and it seems as if a million things are happening at once…but my father’s gift to me is the lesson that life is simple and blessings, more often than not, are within easy reach.

I am, ever and always, my father’s daughter.

I am blessed that he is always with me.

Always a memory or sweet thought away.

Always and forever loved.

Happy father’s day...

Friday, June 13, 2008

Tim Russert 1950-2008

Tim Russert, moderator of Meet the Press, has died at the age of 58.

May the Divine One shower his family with comfort and may his soul rest in peace…

On the FOX Baby Mama fucktuptitude…

If any other network news outlet had captioned a segment about Michelle Obama, wife of Senator and Presumptive Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama, with the phrase “Obama’s Baby Mama” a bitch would probably have been able to rustle up a solid WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!??!

However, we’re talking about FOX…the same network that still employs Bill O’Reilly after years of him assaulting reason and after his on air verbal exploration over when it would be okay to go forth and lynch Michelle Obama.

Blink.

So, when a fucked up non-news conservative surrogate disguised as a legitimate news outlet spews forth a phrase that is used to refer to single mothers who no longer have a relationship with the father of their child and were never married to that father…and is inarguably not applicable to Michelle Obama who is the MOTHER of two young children and FUCKING MARRIED to Senator Obama…well, its not shocking at all.

It is a continuation of the same bullshit many women of color face. One of the reasons I settled on the blog title AngryBlackBitch was my wish to address the damage done through that stereotype. Black female anger is easily dismissed because we’re considered irrational raving hysterical (Gawd, I hate that word) loud, incoherent wild women who go off at the drop of a dime. Anger is simply unacceptable coming from black women and too many of my sisters have learned to school their emotions for fear of that label. In truth, I have received more complaints about my blog title from women of color than any other group. And I tell them what I’m tell y’all – the rot of the problem is that people assume my voice, assume that my anger is sourced in some overly sensitive chip on shoulder bullshit and assume that black and anger have no bitness being in the same place.

The Baby Mama stereotype is just as fucked up. Black women are either invisible (see political coverage of 2008 primary season in which black voters and women voters where rarely black women voters) or some ig’nant stereotype. Michelle Obama can’t possibly be the married partner of a black man with two young children! That doesn’t exist…right? Oh no…no, no, no…she must be made to fit into a stereotype!

Ho…baby mama…uppity Negro…welfare queen…servant…sassy sidekick…predatory lesbian…sex fiend…long suffering nanny…passive evangelical…raving militant…angry black bitch…victim?

Pull the lever and watch the options spin…round and round and round…until, yes! Baby Mama will do nicely...manages to address that myth of black marriage and that other myth of black parenthood and the myth of black monogamy…and the myth that any black woman could ever be treated with one ounce of respect by a system that sees the most efficient way to campaign against a political candidate who is a person of color being to cast him as a terrorist, his wife as a whore and his children as the unfortunate bastards born into a culture seduced by violence, addicted to sex and comprised of slovenly waste.

Post racial, my angry black ass…

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

An open letter to Hollywood regarding the new Smurf movie…

Dear Hollywood people working on the new Smurf movie,

A bitch sincerely hopes that all y’all people working on the Smurf movie know that you have been handed a slice of my childhood.

Think twice before you fuck it up!

What exactly are you doing with that hybrid computer animation live action shit?

Hmmm?

Millions of chil’ren watched the Smurfs do basically the same damned thing every Saturday for years…why fuck with a winning formula?

Didn’t y’all learn anything from that Hulk movie (wince)?

Well, you'd best just remember…

…a bitch is watching you.

Pondering the taxing of my Afro…

A bitch watched the news this morning and I was fascinated by the back and forth between the Presumptives over what qualifies as a tax cut or a tax increase.

This bitch sure as shit didn’t qualify for the Bush tax cuts…hell, I don’t know anyone who did (wince). But it appears that McCain has latched onto the notion of making those tax cuts permanent and that he is also embracing Bushish logic to explain why he thinks that bullshit is a good idea.

McCain wants to make the tax cuts permanent because he claims that their existence is critical to stimulating our economy. He also believes that not renewing those tax cuts for folks making over $250,000 per year (daaaaaaaaamn, that’s a lot of cabbage) after they expire in a few years is a tax increase.

Blink.

Gawd, that sounds Rovian as a motherfucker!

Shit, a bitch just got a mental flash of Karl doing his best Edgar Bergen with his hand up the ass of McCain in the role of Charlie McCarthy.

Wince.

Anyhoo, all I know is that my Afro is being taxed more than the Afros of those bringing in a hell of a lot more money than this bitch.

So a bitch has a question…if helping people who make over $250,000 a year keep their money is critical to our economy…and the rest of us can just go fuck ourselves twice on payday…then why the fuck send stimulus checks out to the masses?

Why not just send stimulus checks to those people making $250,000 or more so that they can get their critical whatever-the-fuck-it-is-that-they-do-with-all-that-cash-instead-of-paying-taxes spending on?

***cue crickets***

Fuck.

On a positive note, the price of living simply has gone up just enough for people to question paying politicians a salary. Mayhap the real economic solution is to pay them a small base salary with incentive bonuses to be paid out when they do their damn job?

Sigh.



Or maybe the social climate has finally arrived for me to break out my proposal for the ABB Constitutional Amendment to Ban Bullshit and the Fucking Over of the Masses for the Benefit of the Few and also Federally Protect the Sanctity of Keeping Shit Real...

Monday, June 09, 2008

What I hear you saying is…

A bitch is 35 years old and if I had a dollar for every time someone has told me that they don’t see my blackness I could afford to fill up Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio with premium gas for at least a month (wince).

I know that people think that saying they don’t see color is an enlightened statement, but it strikes me as bullshit. It is also sourced in the school of tolerance this bitch often refers to and has no…ummm, tolerance for.

Shall we?

Ahem.

When someone tells me that they don’t see color what I hear them saying is that their coping mechanism for living in a diverse society is to ‘same’ all people. I imagine this person engaging in a constant mental de-colorization game with every person they encounter who isn't just like them.

By color these people are really speaking about culture and this bitch is too much of a culture junkie to stand for someone saying that they can only deal with me if they overlook or see beyond or ignore my culture.

I’m black (those rumors about a bitch really being the alternate personality of Brother Rob Thurman are false, damn you!).

This bitch happens to be a full figured black woman sporting a medium Afro. If you don’t see me you need help...stat!

Cough.

I’ve always been a culture junkie, but it took me years to embrace and celebrate my culture and the physical presentation of that which is my rather fetching Hershey brown skin (wink). Learning to love and celebrate my natural hair took longer and learning to challenge anyone who dare propose that by not seeing all that is me they are somehow respecting me came shortly thereafter.

The idea that telling a person of color that you do not see their color is a compliment is sourced directly from the school of tolerance. Basically, to tolerate difference a person believes they have to ignore and/or deny difference. Americans can not be defined separate of diversity anymore than a bitch can be understood by attempting to not see my blackness.

Instead of trying to not see difference we should all work to respect it and celebrate it. If I’m proud of my heritage and culture that doesn’t mean I’m dismissing other people's. My background…like most black people who trace their ancestry through slavery…is diverse as a motherfucker and I enjoy the hell out of that.

So please...pretty please...do not attempt the impossible task of not seeing my rather unforgettable black self.

Just think of what you’re not really missing (wink).

Pondering the upside…

A bitch is beyond thrilled that this is a new week because last week was fubar!

Who would have thought Monday could look good?

Anyhoo, I must confess…since I don’t want to pull a Cindy McCain…that I do not have an original fried chicken recipe. I adore cooking but hate frying in my house (too stinky) so I usually go out and get chicken. But I’ll see if I can put my hands on my favorite recipe for when I do feel like frying and I’ll get it to all y’all!

Now, a bitch has some shit to say so shall we?

Pondering the upside of this shit...
A bitch was in a political training when Senator Clinton delivered her concession/endorsement speech. I caught it on re-runs but my ass was much more fascinated by the response of the speculation machine to the Clinton end-o-the-road speech.

Now, I know that it is a lot of fun to stir that shit pot over disgruntled supporters and who wont vote for who and why…but really, is now the time to guess who is going to do what come November?

Y'all didn't learn anything about that speculation bullshit covering Iowa...or through the Great Republican Letdowns of 2007-2008 (Giuliani & Thompson)?

Lawd, have mercy.

If a Clinton supporter votes for Senator McCain given his stance on the war, lack of support for reproductive justice, hostile attitude toward reproductive choice, aggressive defense of the disaster that is Scooter B.’s diplomacy and disturbing lack of clarity on all things economics despite over 20 years in the Senate not to mention his adoration of tax cuts for the wealthy…well, then they may not have been supporting the right candidate in the first place.

Blink.

I suspect that people's feelings will evolve as the general election moves forward.

Having said that, a bitch does feel that there is an upside to the drama of the Democratic primary season.

Oh, I know I bitched about it going on forever…and Lawd, it did go on and on and on and on…cough…but, despite high tempers on both the Obama and Clinton side there is also an increased interest in politics.

People are debating the issues...they are discussing choice, taxes and education…young people are jumping up into debates over the war, the price of fuel and the high cost of everything.
It may look like the mother of all street brawls fixing to erupt, but a bitch suspects that the masses are chomping at the bit after years of pre-packaged Soylent Green and 'loyalty oath required for admittance' town hall Kool-Aid drinking festivals.

This process has moved us beyond the school of tolerance into the real…exposed some of the nastified social shit that’s been swept under our family room sofa for far too long…and given voice to millions who never connected politics to their day to day lives.

If that's not an upside worth some tension and drama, I don't know what is...

Friday, June 06, 2008

And then I'm going to violate the hell out of this...


Oh, and I plan to sit down with this over the weekend too...


This about sums up my weekend plans...


A quick venting…

This bitch hasn’t venting here in a long time but my ass is in need of a complete release of mental garbage and stress based trash.

So…cough…yeah.

Why the fuck do people insist on taxing my motherfucking Afro-based wig even after I have made it beyond clear that I will not tolerate trifling as hell passive aggressive bullshit?

Why?

Do they think a bitch is joking?

Do they fear telling me what they feel and thus find comfort by just ignoring the hell out of reasonable requests?

Are they out of their motherfucking minds!?!?

Lawd, give me strength.

I don’t get it.

When I don’t want to do something I tell someone I don’t want to do it and why. It’s simple…right?

Yet a bitch has been bombarded to the point of overflow with dodging, dancing, avoiding people who are basically telling me to go fuck myself in a peevish diluted and pseudo non-confrontational way.

Ugh.

So I’m left having to confront...which makes me out to be difficult when in reality they are being...oh fuck a duck twice on Thursday, now my Afro hurts!

Gawd, spare me from those who do not speak their mind…

…because I sure as shit am not going to spare the foolish when I speak what's on mine.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Red Wings win!

Oh...my...Gawd!

What a finish!

Great hockey and a heart breaker of a loss for the Penguins.

Red Wings 3
Penguins 2

Congrats to the Penguins on a hard fought series!

And congrats to the Detroit Red Wings on winning the Stanley Cup!

End of the second period…

A bitch is impressed! The Red Wings maintained the momentum for most of the second period, scoring another goal.

But the Penguins answered with a goal of their own and picked up the pace through the end of the period.

The ice is slushified.

Tempers are flaring.

A bitch’s sorta-beagles are snoring.

Lawd, I love this game!

Red Wings 2
Penguins 1
Vodka crans 3

Stanley Cup Finals Game 6 - First Period…

A bitch is beyond anxious and I don’t even have a team in this shit!

My hounds are feasting on their vet approved chews…Detroit is on the first power play of the game and….oh shit - he shoots, he SCORES!

Lawd, have mercy!

Wings 1
Penguins 0

Logs off to freshen vodka cran…

What the fuck?

Missouri’s Attorney General (and Democratic candidate for Governor) Jay Nixon filed a brief today with the California Supreme Court, asking it to hold off on enforcing its ruling legalizing same-sex marriages. The appeal has already been denied, but daaaamn.

“As attorney general, Jay Nixon supported the Missouri constitutional amendment to define marriage as being between a man and a woman, and has consistently fought to protect traditional marriage.” Nixon spokesman Scott Holste said in a statement as reported in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Not one statement all year from the Nixon camp on LGBT issues and they lead off with this?

He has consistently fought to protect traditional marriage?

How?

A bitch lives here - “traditional marriage” was never under attack from anyone other than people married traditionally and it has been constitutionally "protected" since 2004. So why the hell are Missouri traditional marriages still dropping like mosquitoes after a good spray?

What the fuck?

Nixon is AG, right... so why hasn’t he called for a moratorium on divorce so that Missourians worthy of rights can marinate in that 2004 constitutional amendment a bit and absorb the reinforced and so very protected power of their blah, blah and fucking blah.

Fuck that shit.

I see flies swirling 'round this panderific move, so there must be bullshit.

And this is the same candidate for Governor who is quoted on e-mails blasted out today to Missouri Democrats stating that we need to “make sure Missouri elects Democrats across the board this November.”

Hmmm.

Pause…sip water…continue.

How about having the Missouri Democratic Party work on clarifying the definition of a Missouri Democrat for all of us?

You know, so Missourians can decide whether they want to vote for someone who is asking for the support of all but promising to only represent the interests and protect the rights of some.

Ugh.

Shall we proceed?

I often heard my parents talk about the major historical moments they were blessed to live through and I envied them for having witnessed history. Humans walking on the moon, The Civil Rights movement, 1968 (wink) and so many more monumental moments that they felt wash over them in real time.

So, I’m more than a little emotional to have watched one such moment last night.

I wish Ms. Fannie Lou Hamer were alive to witness this Democratic campaign. What would she have made of it? What would it feel like to have survived the struggle to secure the protected vote for people of color…to have been beaten, threatened, patronized, ignored and then grudgingly listened to…and then to see a person of color move through the political process to win the nomination of his party?

I wish Ms. Shirley Chisholm were alive too. Oh, to sit and talk to her about the history of a woman and a man of color energizing the Democratic Party as never before...to debate the happenings of this campaign with her and to relish the history made by two dynamic campaigns that were built on the foundation she made so many years ago.

And I wish my father were alive today. He who walked so that I may run, stood up so that I could do so without fear and spoke truth to power so that my right to do so would be protected...how I wish I could have watched this moment with him.

But the future is before us now. My Voter Education students watched history unfold this election year and again last night. Through them I know that we can and will build a better community and a stronger more just nation. In them I see the history yet to be made...the Get Out The Vote efforts soon to be volunteered for, the phone banking that isn’t even scheduled, the rallies that aren’t even on the calendar yet, the first votes not yet cast and the change that will be made.

The dust will settle and then my students and this bitch will turn our attention to Missouri and the change we desperately need here today.

There’s still history that must be made, y’all.

Shall we proceed?

Oh yes indeed!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Oh what fantabulous drama…

…in the battle for the Stanley Cup!

I know, I know, I know…a bitch hasn’t had a chance to post about the Stanley Cup Finals.

My bad, but June is a busy month.

Shit.

The series has been great but the other night’s game demands a post, damn it!

Disclaimer #1– a bitch is in no way tossing out a dis to my good hockey loving friends in Detroit city and this post in no way indicates a bitch is rooting for Pittsburgh or against them or wants to get up in that shit. Sadly, this St. Louis bitch has no horse in the race (sob!!) and therefore is banned from aggressive trash talking.

Disclaimer #2 – yes, there are black people who adore hockey and there are black people who play hockey. Lawd, have mercy.
Cough.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes!

Holy mother of old time hockey, the Red Wings were 35 seconds from bliss but those Penguins took the ice and said “Hold up and wait a minute!”

Not one.

Not two.

But three overtimes (legs like noodles...gasp!) later and the Penguins emerged victorious to skate another day.

Classic!

A bitch can’t wait to see Game 6…

Monday, June 02, 2008

Remembering Bo Diddley…

Guitar legend Bo Diddley has died.

The industry may have denied him the royalties that were his due but history will remember Bo Diddley as a musical revolutionary and a guitarist till the very end.

My favorite Bo Diddley quote refers to his having been cheated out of most of the money his music brought in… "A dude with a pencil is worse than a cat with a machine gun."

Bo Diddley was 79 years old.

Pondering a different angle to the Great 2008 Outbreak of Pastor-based Campaign Drama…

I sincerely hope that all y’all had a fantabulous weekend!

I enjoyed the hell out of that Spelling Bee - great drama, lots of nerves and a fantastic finish. Congrats to Sameer!

Since this bitch is still thinking through the happening that was the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee Meeting, I’m going to let that shit marinate a wee bit.

But I do have some thoughts on the never ending pastor-drama that has plagued this campaign.

Shall we?

My initial concern over the way the pastor drama was being covered was that it felt a little too zoo-ish to me. The media coverage reminded me of those tourists who visit a black church in Harlem, take pictures during the service then leave before the alter call.

But now that everyone has denounced, rejected, sever ties and blah followed by another blah their pastor who has behaved badly this bitch is ready to view this whole faith-based messed from a distance.

A bitch feels that the Great 2008 Outbreak of Pastor-based Campaign Drama is a fantabulous example of why organized prayer/religion in public school classrooms is a bad idea.

Blink.

And the congregation said… “Oh, no she didn’t take it there!”

And the choir replied… “Oh, yes...mmmhmm, she did!”

Cough.

See, a bitch is a rather spiritual person and I’m all for students getting their prayer on wherever they want to if they want to. I used to pray my heart out before Geometry tests and I still toss one up to The Divine One when so moved.

What I do not support is a teacher or counselor or coach leading prayer for the classroom.

And the church asked…“But why not, Ms.Shark-Fu?”

And a bitch replied… “Great question, chil’ren!”

What if the person leading all that prayer passionately believes something you don’t want the wee ones passionately believing?

Observe, fair people! Thy media has frenzied upon the different beliefs of certain congregations within the same denomination! Imagine how varied the values are across the Protestant spectrum. And what of Catholics…and those who are Jewish or Muslim. And one must not forget those spaghetti monster people!

The lesson - thou shall not approve school prayer based on the assumption that everyone prays the same way, about the same things or at all.

Next!

What if the person leading prayer is crazy as hell?

What?

I’m just keeping it real.

When I heard Reverend Hagee try to connect the tragedy of Katrina to a Gay Pride parade it made my Afro hurt and his Hitler comments were beyond disturbing. Then you have that church in Kansas that shall not be named going forth to preach hate and damnation throughout the Midwest while pissing in the Corn Flakes of decent people wherever their members decide to get their hate on.

Now, do you want those folks working through that crazy ass shit all up in your child’s mind?

I didn’t think so!

The mistake that proponents of organized public school prayer make is that they assume that they will control who does the praying and what that prayer is about. People who aren’t religious already know that's bullshit, because they know how hard it is to get those pro-organized prayer people to listen to them.

But a bitch has found that pro-organized school prayer people only see prayer through the altered lens of their personal experience.

Mayhap the Great 2008 Outbreak of Pastor-based Campaign Drama will serve as a lesson in just how complicated religion can be…

…and why those oft quoted founders thought it wise to recommend a little distance and a lot of caution.

Ask a Working Woman survey...

A bitch is always fascinated by news reports about survey results stating that such a percent of women think that such a thing is more important than another thing. I’m always left wondering why the hell I didn’t find out about this massive survey of women until it was over and the results were in!

You know what I mean?

Well, now there is an opportunity for working women to voice our opinion on all manner of things!

The Ask A Working Woman Survey is co-sponsored by America's leading labor-rights organization, the AFL-CIO, and its community partner, Working America. This is an opportunity for working women in America to tell decision-makers what it's like to be a working woman in America in this election year.

The survey is open to all and can be taken online at http://aaww.questionpro.com. Opinions will be collected through June 20, 2008 and the findings will be announced to decision makers and released in nationwide media in order to highlight and help improve the status of the working mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, and nieces in all of our American families.

Fantabulous!