Monday, March 31, 2008

An adult with autism…

Thank you to everyone who has alerted a bitch to the Autism series airing on CNN!


I look forward to watching some of the coverage…but I have to admit that the constant ‘child with autism’ talk with out the addition of some 'teen with autism' and a healthy dose of 'adult with autism' language makes my Afro itch.

As some of you know my brother Bill is autistic...not a child but a grown ass man of 37!

Oh, a bitch knows the unique challenges parents face when their child is diagnosed. Mmmhmmm, I know that shit very well (mercy!).

But we sibling guardians have some challenges too…one of which is educating the media that we exist.

1 in 150 means that teens and adults with autism will need programs and options.

And 1 in 150 also means that siblings as guardians won’t always be so rare.

Autism may be a mystery but my brother’s life is a reality – he is an adult with autism.

Toodles and let me know what y’all think of the CNN coverage.

A thank you and a quick lobby day follow-up...

This bitch had a fantabulous time in Boston!

Well, actually we were in Cambridge…but there was still chowdah to be had, so it was all good.

Hugs and adoration to the fantabulous WOC bloggers I finally got to meet in person and a HUGE thank you followed by a hug Kierra at Choice USA for asking me to be on her panel!

Pause…stretch out travel kinks…continue.

Shall we?

A follow-up to PROMO’s Lobby Day…
This bitch wanted to direct all y’all to the Pam’s House Blend post regarding an incident that happened whilst we were lobbying last week.

Two teens were refused a meeting with a certain Rep. Jane Cunningham because their appearance offended her. Oh, and the fact that they were trying to discuss the need for LGBT teens to be protected from bullying at school was most likely another affront to her distorted senses.

Blink.

This…what the hell is she…person?..is the Chair of the Elementary and Secondary Education Committee of the Missouri House of Representatives! For the love of all that is logical, remove her at once before she refuses to meet with any more of the youth she is supposed to represent.

And people ask me why my ass is angry...

Please read the post at Pam’s House Blend for information on PROMO's action petition.

Thank you Pam Spaulding for getting the word out on this!

Friday, March 28, 2008

On the road again...

This bitch is traveling to Boston today for the WAM! Conference.

Bags?

Check!

Sister Girl MacBook?

Check!

Bitchitude?

Check!

Looks like everything is in order (wink).

Toodles till we land...

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Lobby Day Recap…

Someone needs to make a work-out video based on lobbying in Jefferson City.

A bitch is serious!

Lobbying is a fucking work-out that involves the running of stairs and the locating…or chasing down (wink)…of legislators.

This bitch is exhausted...and my knees are killing me...but I think I see some muscle definition in my thigh, for real.

Cough.

Anyhoo…

A bitch was in Jefferson City with PROMO to lobby on behalf of MONA and an anti-bullying Safe Schools bill. Although many Representatives and Senators are supportive and agree that Missourians should not fear being fired or discriminated against based on their sexual orientation or perceived orientation, we’ve got some who don’t have a problem with that kind of discrimination at all.

As tragic as that is, I have to say that yesterday was an inspiration and worth a vacation day.

150 people from all over Missouri got their lobby on and I am so proud to have been in that number.

Fantabulous!

Power comes to the people when the people exercise our power...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Getting my lobby on...

Bitchitude is on hold whilst this bitch hits the road!

I'm off to Jefferson City to get my lobby on, which means that my exhausted self is up at 5 o'clock in the fucking morning.

Ugh.

Posting will resume when this bitch returns...

Monday, March 24, 2008

My Patriot Rant (revised a wee bit)...

C-Money and this bitch have been watching John Adams on HBO. So far so good, but a bitch is a fan of revolution (wink) and my ass has been known to watch the same episode of The Revolution on The History Channel multiple times without getting bored.

Some people watch American Idol…a bitch watches reenactments of the American Revolution.

Blink.

Anyhoo…

This bitch has been known to go off on a rant over patriotism in a heartbeat. Nothing gets me more fired up than ig’nant as hell accusations that questioning our government and speaking out about governmental bullshit is unpatriotic. Well, that shit has reared up again and I am beyond tired of hearing it!

Pause…crack knuckles…continue.

This government is still of a bitch, by a bitch and for a bitch...so this bitch has revised my Patriot Rant a wee bit…

ABB’s Patriot Rant (revised a wee bit)…

Most Americans study the Revolutionary War at some point in our lives. Along with the details of specific battles and historic moments, that history provides a very clear understanding of what an American patriot was and is.

This nation was founded by radicals. The rest of the folks were loyal to the monarchy. Speaking out against the monarchy was illegal…they called it sedition and it was punishable under law. Every single published quote…every single speech…every public gathering or meeting…every act of melting household items to make bullets or hoarding food to feed soldiers…all of that shit was radical as a motherfucker.

So, when my fellow citizens verbalize a blind and unquestioning respect of an elected office rather than question flawed policy those people are speaking the language of the loyalist not the patriot. And when citizens chastise fellow citizens for criticizing our government they are speaking the language of the loyalist and not the patriot.

A bitch is concerned that some of us who have been born Americans really don’t understand the responsibility of citizenship. It is important to remember that the final check in the check & balance plan is the power invested in each of us to check our government on bullshit.

We tarnish our legacy and insult our history when we embrace the ideology of non-involvement, blind trust and apathy rather than live up to our responsibility to question elected officials over the shit they do in our name.

We have a role to play and that role is to be active citizens...to vote, challenge and critique our government so that is shall be a government of the people, by the will of the people and answerable in all ways to the people.

Trust?

Read Thomas Paine and you will read the language of the questioner…the challenger…the patriot.

Respect?

Read Alexander Hamilton and you will feel the passion and careful consideration of the role of political power literally vibrate off the page.

Apathy?

Read John Adams and you will be reading the words of a man who left family and home when his nation called upon him to serve and who railed at Congress so that they would stand up against tyranny and oppression.

People, we have a role to play…and those who tell us not to play it are anything but patriots.

And forget not that it was the patriotic spirit that fueled the masses through the Civil War, the Suffrage Movement, the Labor Movement, the Civil Rights Movement, the many Anti-War movements and the Feminist Movement.

Those movements, which shaped our nation, where populated by people whose actions where those of responsible citizens and who were being radical within the framework of a nation that infuses radical responsibility into the citizen contract.

What has been established in our name…by the blood, sweat and tears of citizen patriots…is ours to uphold.

This bitch is prepared to go to the wall in defense of that shit...with my fist raised and my voice loud…and I damn anyone who dare call me unpatriotic for doing so.

Here endeth the lesson.

Theo - one year later...

Lawd, a bitch woke up feeling illish! I haven’t been sleeping well but my ass suspects this illish feeling has more to do with allergies than anything else. C-Money and I have been toying around with the idea of eating local honey to try to address this shit...fuck it, if it doesn’t work at least that shit is yummified.

Pause…add local Missouri honey to grocery list…continue.

A bitch just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge Theo the sorta-beagle’s one year anniversary in our house.

A little over a year ago my neighbor knocked on our door and asked if the sorta-beagle she was holding was my Betsey. He wasn’t but I agreed to take him in and get his ass scanned to see if we could reunite him with his family. Well, a vet visit revealed that he had been chipped. Unfortunately, the phone number connected with his micro-chip was no longer in service. So, we notified area shelters that we had a found dawg (posting pictures is a bad idea because dog fighting rings use them to secure bait dogs) and settled in to foster him.

That lasted about a month. No one came for Theo and, given his poor physical condition (eye infections, ear infections and intestinal nastification), I stopped hoping they would.

C-Money named him Thelonious after Monk and I declared him to be Theo my other sorta-beagle.

I truly believe there is a reason this dawg landed on our door step and he has been both a challenge (totally wasn’t house-trained...ugh!) and a joy (now house-trained and totally the sweetest thing...yay!).

So, happy dawg anniversary, Theo Baby!

You are a blessing and a joy...long may you bay!

One a serious tip - Spay or neuter your pets, y’all…make sure they have a collar on and that micro-chip information is up to date…and for more information about stray animals available for adoption or foster in St. Louis check out Stray Rescue of St. Louis.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Breaking news – Also not shocked…


Daaaamn, passports are being violated all over the place!

Apparently Senator Clinton’s passport was breached (love that word…LOVE IT!) in 2007.

A bitch imagines that the viewing of Senator’s passports was a daily thing staff indulged in. I can just see them putting their popcorn into the microwave, accessing a Senator's passport file then grabbing a diet soda and settling in for a nice long read.
Some people look at blogs...
...others look at the private passport data of elected officials (wince).
Mercy.

So very not shocked…

Lawd, a bitch is shocked and I’m sure you are too!

****gasp and then gasp once more****

I mean that shit came out of left field, didn’t it?

To think that my Sharktastic March Madness Bracket was almost destroyed by Belmont…well, that was unexpected.

Blink.

What?

Oh, did you think I was talking about that Obama passport bitness?

Child, please!

Anyone who was able to achieve shock over the news that this administration broke the law and violated the privacy of a citizen then shrugged it off with the casual mid-level disclosure equivalent of “So?” needs to slap themselves twice and apologize for thinking.

Why Anyone Able to Achieve Shock over this Shit Should Slap Themselves twice then apologize…

Let’s see….ummm…

Slap #1 - This administration is currently maintaining a hostile posture against the Constitution of the United States of America and towards the masses over granting AT&T and other collaborators retroactive immunity for handing over Lawd Knows What related to the private conversations of Citizens and you’re shocked that three contractors on three separate occasions decided to dip into the passport records of Senator Obama?

Or are you shocked that management didn’t follow protocol and report that shit up?

Or is it that you’re shocked that, once again, this administration doesn’t even respect the masses enough to rustle up a decent cover-up?

Fuck it…get to slapping!

Slap #2 - How many times do you have to be shown that this administration doesn’t give a flying shit about the law or privacy before you lift you head out of your apathetic bowl of soggified Corn Flakes and say “OMG, they don’t give a shit about the law or privacy!!”?

Lawd, give me strength…

The Power of Us Conference…

FYI

The National Black Justice Coalition will be hosting The Power of Us Conference in Baltimore April 24 through April 26, 2008.

Join TV Host, Marcellas Reynolds and several hundred Black LGBT, their Straight allies, family and friends, plus over 50 national experts spanning 35 workshops, panel discussions, Q&As and receptions at The Power of Us Conference in Baltimore, April 24-25-26, 2008.

For more information about NBJC click here.

To register for the conference click here.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Buggyjacked…

A bitch just has to share this story with y’all!

An Amish couple in Jamesport Missouri was buggyjacked.

Mmmhmm, a man allegedly forced them to give him a ride while he was fleeing a robbery.

Now this bitch has been on the road with many a buggy in my lifetime and they wouldn’t be my first choice to get my flee on in, but…well, maybe there weren’t any cars about.

Or mayhap the alleged buggyjacker is just stone cold stupid, because he ultimately directed the stolen buggy to his trailer where police then arrived to…wait for it!!...investigate a report of a stolen buggy.

Blink.

The Amish couple was unharmed in the alleged buggyjacking incident.

Merciful heaven…

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Untitled

America is now five years into the war and today my thoughts turn to those who serve.

To the family members who live without a loved one and who struggle to hold it all together.

To the women who make up 11% of the military force in Iraq and Afghanistan.

To those who return woundedare now homeless and/or struggling with the physical and mental impact of war...and to those who lost their lives.

May they not be forgotten or ignored by those of us who oppose this war or by those who support it.

To Andy C., MTT, KJM…y’all keep your heads up whilst you mend! Remember that you are the shit (wink), a bitch is pulling for you and there’s Gooey Butter Cake and a seat at my table should you ever visit St. Louis.

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. (Aeschylus)

‘till we study war no more…

By request, my thoughts...

A certain Carrie wrote this bitch asking why I have not spoken out more about "fiery" rhetoric in the black church.

Well, since it looks like conservatives are tossing rocks wrapped in this topic despite their glass houses (can you say Hagee?), a rather timely one too.

Shall we?

A bitch grew up attending a rather conservative Missionary Baptist Church that was predominately black. We were big on social responsibility but not as heavy as some other churches on fiery rhetoric. Many a Sunday I listened to sermons that preached the Gospel and instructed members to give of themselves, try not to sin and build a forgiving heart. I also sat through several sermons that didn’t agree with. I remember asking my father how to handle that and him telling me that God gave us free will, pastors aren’t divine and part of being a Christian is developing a personal sense of faith.

When I grew up I became distant from the black church but did take a step back in during my 20’s. By then I lived in Dallas and attended another Missionary Baptist Church there where the sermons where equal parts social responsibility and fiery rhetoric. Once again I sat through some amazing services but I also sat through a lot of “oh, hell no…I don’t think so!” sermons that made me question my membership. The final straw came when a visiting Pastor spent over an hour blaming black women and our lack of faith for the dismal state of the black family in America. He went so far as to spend 30 minutes explaining that women need to submit to the will of men or we women will be offending God.

Cough.

Yeah well I never went back.

The thing is I miss church. I miss the music and the fellowship and the weekly reminders that we humans can and must do better by each other.

My father found his activist mission in the black church. Many a Civil Rights era person went to church for courage, strength and spiritual fuel. The Movement was often organized in the black church, Mamie Till confronted a nation with its injustice in a black church and one of the greatest tragedies of it took place at a church.

Mayhap that is why some seize this moment to attempt to humble the black church?

Blink.

I’ve worked hard to not blame Catholics for the words and actions of Archbishop Burke here in St. Louis. Some of the fiercest human rights activists I know are Sisters within the Catholic Church…many Catholics are pro-choice…and many a Catholic has openly allied themselves with the LGBT community despite the positions expressed by the Catholic Church.

See Carrie, I know that attending mass and blindly following the leadership of Archbishop Burke are two different things because I’ve been there (on a Protestant tip) sitting in a pew disagreeing with a lot of shit but also feeling my soul lifted up. Everyone has their own limits and needs…everyone must decide whether they still get something out of fellowship…everyone has that free will stuff (wink). All of that explains why every black person isn't a member of a "fiery" black church and every black person is not a Christian.

In all my years of attending black churches I gained far more than I disagreed with and I disagreed with plenty. Honestly, I gained the most from learning that I disagreed with certain things that I first heard sitting in a pew in a black church!

I hope that the same is true for the thousands of people who attended churches where Falwellian rhetoric is preached or the words of Pat Robertson were repeated as instruction.

As for the tone and volume of Rev. Wright’s sermon…well, you may want to go to a black church some time. That’s style and tradition, not some random freak out rage-based incident.

I’m confident that you will be made welcome, but your ass may fall asleep because black church services are not a one hour thing. And Gawd help you if you forgot to eat breakfast (wince)…

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The challenge...

I have written here before about how wrenching this historic Democratic primary has been for me. As a black woman, I have been forced to confront a lot of issues and revise a lot of opinions and that hasn’t been easy. But it has been necessary because social justice work requires inner work and, in the end, I’ll be a better person for having experienced this amazing moment in time.

Today Senator Obama spoke on the issue of race and in a big way he defined one of the challenges before the nation.

Flock of bitchitude (wink)!

The challenge before us is to move beyond tolerance, learn how empowering diversity is and have the courage to embrace, nurture and respect it. That doesn’t mean that we forget the injustices of the past and present but rather that we learn from them and grow as people through that knowledge so future generations will not have to confront the same shit.

The challenge is to understand why an injustice to one is an injustice to us all and progress will come when we take that knowledge out for a ride and get about the bitness of building a just society.

It will not be easy but, as my grandmother often said, they call this shit a struggle for a reason.

I am so very proud that this blog has readers from all over who are outspoken and wiling to move out of a place of tolerance and keep it real. It is a blessing to have all y’all, representing all manner of diversity, lend your voices to the fine art of bitchitude.

We have work to do on ourselves and within our communities.

I, for one, appreciate the reminder and accept the hell out of that challenge.

Briefly pondering…

This bitch wasn’t going to get into the Spitzer sex scandal case but I can’t help myself. It was already fantastically graphic and juicy and then the new governor stepped in with information about his outside the bounds of traditional sanctified marriage sex for the sake of fucking sex past infidelity.

Mercy!

Pause…fan thyself…continue.

Regarding Client #9…
From what I gather, Spitzer has made some serious enemies…he held himself up as a new Untouchable and he knew better than anyone that he was breaking the law. The higher they climb the taller the pile of bullshit beneath their arse upon which they eventually fall.

Regarding Governor Paterson's revelations…
Talk about getting in front of a scandal! I now know more about the history of the Paterson union and additional unsanctified unions than this bitch ever wanted to know in life.

Is this what the future of politics will look like?

Campaign commercials will open with a montage of former sex partners with voice-over talent detailing the complete sexual history of the candidate including references (gasp!) and ending with the candidate declaring “I’m XXX and I approve this message.”

Lawd, if this keeps up Meet the Press is going to require parental guidance…

No revote for Florida…

Last night this bitch caught the news that the Florida Democratic Party has decided that they will not hold a revote re-do primary. State party chairwoman Karen Thurman sent word out via e-mail that all options had been explored and rejected so the what-to-do of it all is now in the hands of the DNC Rules & Bylaws committee.

The sad thing is that millions of Floridians turned out to vote and their votes are now held captive to the system and many Florida democrats stayed home and will not have the opportunity to vote for the democratic nominee.

This voter education teacher is troubled by this. I can’t help but wonder how many voters were hoping there would be a re-vote and how many others are now turned off by political bullshit rearing its ugly head to the detriment of the democratic process.

Most of all, this bitch can’t help but wonder how I would feel had this shit gone down in Missouri. I can imagine facing my students who were so thrilled to be voting for the first time and rewarding that passion with a discussion of process and rules and blah followed by blah.

Ugh.

As it is, a bitch has to face them and explain how some other person’s state is handling some other person’s vote and why it all matters in the end. Well, this is nothing if not a teachable moment.

So the DNC, Clinton and Obama campaigns will continue to meet and eventually they’ll iron out an agreement that will sorta-satisfy their respective camps.

And that sounds more like how you would negotiate a peace treaty than how you would empower the will of the masses.

Fubardemocratus continueth…

Monday, March 17, 2008

Lawd, have mercy!

Happy St. Pats Day to all y’all. We’ve rain in St. Louis, but something tells me that it won’t delay the party in Dogtown (wink).

Anyhoo…

A bitch caught up with all things political and chat-able Sunday afternoon and hot damn there was a lot of drama! The sum total of things is that Senator Obama’s in a world of hurt over comments made by his pastor Reverend Wright.

I have to admit that I was more shocked that the pastor dropped a G-damn into the sermon than anything else. This bitch has certainly spent time in traditional black churches and that was a first for me! As to the other statements, well…I totally understand why Rev. White had to step down from the campaign given the nature of what he said.

I really don’t like it when religious figures associate tragedies with punishment or when they get all up into campaigns. It always leaves a nasty stench when religious leaders talk political policy or preach from campaign talking points.

Pause…sip water…continue.

The worst part of this latest campaign malfunction is that it does nothing to address the fact that my ass damn near had a stroke at the gas station this morning.

Blink.

Mmmhmmm, a bitch was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure (yeah, I know…no surprise there…sigh) and yes I’m addressing it and yes I’m taking it seriously. Damn it, I'm going to miss salt!

Sob.

Since being diagnosed, I swear I can feel my pressure rise when agitated. Honest!

Well, when I pulled Ms. SisterGirl Cabrio up to the pump to feed her some gas and saw the price of gas per gallon (ouch!!) I know I felt my pressure go through the roof.

Heaven to hell and back again, this shit is out of control! I can’t afford to fill up Ms. SisterGirl Cabrio. I had to settle for half a tank until I balance my fucking checkbook and get dawg food. And that harsh reality on top of having been mentally assaulted by the price of yummified organic milk (Jesus, its milk not Champagne!!) has this bitch hoping the epidemic of campaign-based verbal malfunctions is at an end so all the candidates can get about the bitness of telling me how they plan to deal with the economic shit storm devastating my pocketbook!

Fuck it all, have the pundits set up an economic Doppler radar for the next Democratic debate!

Because the masses have been snatched up by a perfect storm of hellish numbers named The Economy that is screaming above the howling wind…

“It’s me, stupid!"

"It’s meeeeeeee!”

Friday, March 14, 2008

What for…

A member of the flock of bitchitude said something to me the other day that gave me pause. We were discussing the negative tone of the Democratic race and she said that what really bothered her was that we were losing sight of what we are fighting against.

That didn’t sit very well with me. True, a bitch is in this struggle and I have the war wounds to prove it (wince). But should we be defined by what we are against?

I think not!

My ass finds my empowerment by examining what the hell I’m fighting for.

I’m not against tax cuts. I’m for tax policies that relieve the burden currently resting on the shoulders of workers.

I’m not against national security. I’m for defending this nation and our laws by upholding the very values worthy of defense – that we do not torture because it is wrong, un-American and counter-productive…that we will not casually hand over the civil liberties blood was shed to gain.

I’m not against free enterprise. I’m for a living wage, safe and affordable housing, equal education, building a healthcare policy that is pro-human and erring on the side of decency rather than grotesque profit.

When this bitch gets up into the face of power and advocates on behalf of reproductive choice it is for something…for reproductive freedom, medical privacy, affordable exams and medication, knowledge-based comprehensive sex education and for every one of my students who has ever looked at me and said what the hell are you going to do about this mess.

When I got to PROMO’s Lobby Day on March 26 (blatant plug…find more info here…wink) it will be in support of something…of equal protection and opportunity under law. I’ll join many of the my fellow Missourians and advocate for passage of laws that protect all students from bullying and hate, all Missourians from job discrimination and all Missourians from a crusade that wants suffering to be the wages of difference and oppression to be the penalty for open expression of that difference.

And when a bitch speaks of the need to allocate money for programs that benefit the mentally ill and developmentally challenged, fund Medicaid so that it works for and not against people, support treatment programs with the same passion with which some support jails…all of that is for something.

For my country.

For my community.

For my family and my friends.

So, let’s not lose sight of what we are fighting for…why politics matters now more than ever…and why those who would have our vote must be worthy of it, respect it and achieve it.

What for?

For all of that shit and more…

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Post-Ig’nant tees!


You asked and we delivered!
The AngryBlackBitch store now has Post-Ig’nant tees!
Thanks go to Brother Rob Thurman for all of his AngryBlackBitch design work.
C-Money wants everyone to know that feedback is welcome and she is open to suggestions if you would like the tee in some other whatever.
Just drop a comment.
Toodles!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Go on and speak then!

Gerry has decided to step down from her position at the Clinton campaign.

Dear Hillary –
I am stepping down from your finance committee so I can speak for myself and you can continue to speak for yourself about what is at stake in this campaign.

The Obama campaign is attacking me to hurt you.
I won't let that happen.
Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do to make this a better world for my children and grandchildren.
You have my deep admiration and respect.
Gerry
Lifted from CNN.com

Ummm, Gerry?

#1 – Nice try, but there’s no way in hell I’m buying that you weren’t speaking for Clinton 2008. The campaign has a reputation for this shit. Hell, the stepping down part is just part of the bait - act confused - repeat baiting statement in defense – reluctantly resign Clinton 2008 pattern.

#2 – I never have and do not now work for the Obama campaign. I have not volunteered for the Obama campaign. I am not associated with the Obama campaign. So, when I called your ig’nant ass out it was me (this bitch) telling you (ig'nant as hell former Clinton campaign person) that you (ig’nant and so very not clever throwback politician) ain’t slick and that your statement was wrong.

3# - Go the hell on and speak for your self. Bring it! You aren’t saying anything Rush Limbaugh hasn’t been saying for months. Your script ain’t original, Gerry. My black ass has been hearing those tired ass lines for decades.

Next...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dear Geraldine…

This is not an attack.

This is a response.

I woke up at 4 o’clock in the morning thinking about you, Geraldine.

I lay there listening to my sorta-beagles snore and wondered if you really think that Senator Obama is still in this race solely because he is a black man.

I don’t know you, Geraldine, and I don’t assume a person is decent simply because they hold a certain status in the Democratic Party and feminist history. This bitch has never met you, but I sure as shit know what it is like to have someone attribute my success to my being black.

It’s the freakiest mind fuck out there to have someone treat what has been the source of oppression like it is the “it” benefit of 2008.

But you know that, don’t you…Geraldine?

And it is a sadly powerful attack that dismisses all the hard work; the years spent biting your tongue, the ass whoopings you chose to hold back and the cussing outs that never happened even though not telling someone about themselves almost caused you physical pain.

Blink.

Pause…sip water…continue.

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position," Ferraro said. "And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."

Which I translate to mean that you, Geraldine, think Alan Keyes just had bad timing.

Yeah.

Right.

Let’s get real, Geraldine. You don’t give a flying shit whether you offend the hell out of some people as long as your message gets through to the right people. The kind of people who hear a quote like that and are thankful that someone said it…fucking cheer when they hear it then eagerly e-mail it to five friends…and can’t believe you’re catching hell for it.

Those people…

…who you need to fire up and are confident the tried and true fuel of 'gender trumps race' will get it done and bring in some money.

This trifling ass shit has left me unable to imagine a scenario where I cast the vote people risked their lives and died to achieve for me for a candidate who's campaign insults what I stand for and the principles I believe in.

Hey thanks.

This has been so fucking not nice.

And next time don’t bother with the “and if he was a woman (of any color)” pander, okay?

I haven’t been caught up in that unified sisterhood concept yet, honey...and your verbal malfunction didn’t help with that shit one bit.

I’m not attacking you because you are white.

This is coming at you because you’re wrong…

Monday, March 10, 2008

Why the Obama Will Be My Running Mate Tactic makes my Afro hurt...

This bitch watched the Wyoming Caucuses Saturday and was amazed by the turnout y’all had! As much as I fear the drama yet to come in the remaining Democratic primaries, I am thrilled to see so many Americans turn out and let their voice be heard.

Go on with your bad selves, fellow voters!

This bitch is particularly excited to see that Mississippi will vote tomorrow. I may be a Missouri native, but my people come from Mississippi and many still live there. It’s a refreshing change to see candidates campaigning down South this late in the political season and it looks as if Mississippians are taking advantage of the opportunity to see what’s what.

One notion being floated by Team Clinton (both Bill and Hillary on separate occasions) is the idea of Senator Obama as her Vice Presidential choice.

I must confess that this tactic is making my Afro hurt and here's why.

Why the Obama Will Be My Running Mate Tactic makes my Afro hurt.

#1. It fails to pass the Spock Test…
If he doesn’t pass your commander and chief test how the hell can you pick him as Vice President? Mayhap they should toss an invitation at Senator McCain since he is so very qualified in their eyes (mercy!).

Otherwise, this shit is illogical and fails the Spock Test.

Someone will have to be punished.

Where the hell did I put the Merciless Rod of Correction (wink)?

#2. Political Gaslighting is dangerous bitness…
Okay...Clinton 2008 says that they are in a position to offer the Vice Presidency even though they are not in a position to offer it…they quote the numbers like a front-runner (a bitch suspects someone is using that freakish new math)…and they continue to insert electability where inevitability once lived in denial of the fact that achieving 2025 ain’t on the table anymore.

Clearly a staffer had a moment of inspiration after a TCM marathon.

Or maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.

Ugh.

#3. The Risk of Backlash…
A bitch is a wee bit surprised to see Clinton 2008 out on the stump offering the #2 slot as if Senator Obama were a precocious child and the V.P. slot were his cookie.

I'd have thought the Obama campaign would have earned some respect by no, but even if it hasn't this shit can go from awkward to patronizing in a blink of thy eye!

And it’ll be a sad commentary if Yes We Can reverts to I Am a Man…

Live, from New York…

A bitch had two fierce cups of coffee this morning.

I hate daylight saving time.

Ugh.

Shall we?

I missed the infamous Saturday Night Live skit where the press fawns all over Senator Obama during a debate but I caught it on the Today Show (a.k.a, NBC’s prime-time cheerleading squad) and was alarmed to see a certain Fred Armisen playing Senator Obama.

Now, catch that knee before it jerks! I don’t give a flying shit about how talented Armisen is or how funny the skit was or blah followed by ‘but ABB, why are you pissing in my SNL adoring Corn Flakes?’ blah and blah. Fuck all of that. In the 232 year history of this nation this is as close a person of color has ever gotten to the presidency and that can’t even secure a brother steady job on SNL?

Don’t get me wrong, I understand very well that one person’s insulting as hell Al Jolson revival is another person’s source of off-beat humor.

Maybe I wouldn't be as annoyed if Maya Rudolph had been cast to play Hillary. As if, right? I mean the first SNL female presidential candidate played by a...cough.

Yeah.

Anyhoo, I honestly was going to let it all slide as yet another example of The Man behaving predictably until this past Saturday’s opening skit that spoofed the Clinton 3 a.m ad.

Senator Clinton, seated at a desk, introduces her ad by admitting it is going to be way over the top and not based in fact (funny), then the ad starts and she is seen answering the phone by her bed in a bathrobe, hair in rollers with a face mask on (okay, guaranteed laugh there…we are nothing if not easy to please). Senator Clinton finds a bumbling and befuddled Senator Obama on the other end, mouth agape and brow wrinkled in frustration, the Obama voice over is saturated in confusion (oh shit) and desperation (oh, fuck no!) as he reaches out to Senator Clinton and begs her to help him walk through a challenging international situation (Christ Jesus!).

As I watched Poehler’s Clinton calmly walk Armisen's incompetent Obama through Diplomacy 101 something happened to me. I felt a flush of discomfort that turned quickly into disgust. Watching Armisen’s face contort and his eyes bulge used to make me laugh but now, his face darkened and his hair styled in an Afro, that shit was anything but humorous.

Armisen in character had become Armisen in blackface.

Didn’t anyone question having Armisen’s Obama get his Amos and Andy on? Or was that the point…the ever fucking goal…because exaggerated wide eyed black frustration at intellectual challenges is funny but exaggerated black frustration at intellectual challenges played by a man in black makeup and an Afro wig is hilarious?

Sigh.

A bitch fears that The Mantan Show is in pre-production at the peacock network even as we speak…

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Power blogging?

Lawd, have mercy.

A bitch just checked my site meter and noticed a lot of traffic from Guardian.co.uk. A quick click revealed that my ass has been listed as one the the world's 50 most powerful blogs.

Blink.

Oooh, this bitch can feel the power even as I type!

A wee correction, though - a bitch has posted my picture once or twice in response to those who claim I'm not an AngryBlackBitch. Trifling ass bullshit, left un-addressed, too often becomes accepted as fact.

But oh my, a bitch's blog is powerful...who the fuck knew?

***fluffs afro***

Well, welcome the the land of bitchitude Guardian.co.uk readers!

Friday, March 07, 2008

A response and a redirect…

A certain Coco (this bitch is beyond jealous of that name, m’dear…fantabulous!) e-mailed to express her concern that a bitch called out Senator Clinton on that McCain Commander and Chief Test thing but failed to call out Samantha Power for her “monster” comment.

Coco, a bitch wrote my Commander and Chief post last night. I wasn’t aware of Samantha Power’s comments until this morning. And, even if I had been aware, that Commander and Chief Test shit would have gotten a solo response.

Having said that, Ms. Power has expressed that her comments were wrong and apologized for them. Senator Obama has also gone on record decrying (denouncing...rejecting...Lawd!) the comments. And when I factor in that Rovian playbook diss with that Ken Starr-esque indictment, I think we have an ugly as hell negative wash.

I also think Democrats are well on their way to fucking up in that same tired assed fucked up ‘Democrats are their own worst enemy’ way.

Blink.

Every single issue not being discussed right now matters to me. I can attach a name…a person…a situation to all of them. Healthcare, reproductive choice, the war, the environment, education and the economy are the real issues Americans need to hear about–bullshit over campaign tactics is the distraction.

This bitch would like to see less talk about Mr. Harper’s government (y’all know a bitch loves me some Canadians, but that Harper fellow and his minions need to chill...stat) and more talk about NAFTA.

I want to hear less talk about staffers behaving badly and more talk about how these people plan to get shit done.

I want to see less adoration of Senator McCain and more discussions about how they plan beat him.

We, the people, can not afford this shit anymore than we can afford four more years of the fuck up that just keeps fucking…

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Regarding that Commander and Chief test…

Confession - this bitch would support a Commander and Chief test as long as my ass got to write the questions and grade that motherfucker.

Having said that...

A bitch is more than a wee bit disturbed by comments stating that Senator McCain has passed the fictional Commander and Chief test.

"I think that since we now know Sen. (John) McCain will be the nominee for the Republican Party, national security will be front and center in this election. We all know that. And I think it's imperative that each of us be able to demonstrate we can cross the commander-in-chief threshold." ... "I believe that I've done that. Certainly, Sen. McCain has done that and you'll have to ask Sen. Obama with respect to his candidacy” Senator Clinton said.

I’m sorry…well, no I’m not since I didn’t fucking say that shit…but there are two sides bordering Red Phone Avenue. On one side is a rational discussion of those qualities and qualifications Democratic Primary/Caucus voters seek in a President and on the other side is making a point that Senator McCain has passed the Commander and Chief test in an effort to attack the qualifications of Senator Obama.

Last time I check McCain is wrong on reproductive choice, FISA and telecom immunity, the Iraq War, education, healthcare, Social Security…the environment, international diplomacy, NAFTA and economic policy issues.

He was right on the fact that the United States should not torture people.

Cough.

I stand proudly and unapologetically on the left…proud as hell to do so…and the positions of Senator McCain sure as shit do not pass my Commander and Chief test.

No.

Not.

Uh, uh and hell no.

So, let’s get real.

Everyone needs to take a fucking nap and when y’all wake up please, pretty please try to remember what we are fighting for, who we are up against and why this election fucking matters.

Lawd give me strength…

A quizzical…

This bitch is still following the Ricin Found in Las Vegas Hotel Room story. So far the CDC has confirmed that the substance found is ricin…the individual believed to be connected to the ricin remains hospitalized...and weapons along with a notebook being described as “anarchist” in nature were found in the hospitalized man’s hotel room. The man’s illness has not yet been linked to ricin exposure and Salt Lake City FBI agents are investigating who the man is and what connection his cousin's home in Riverton may or may not have to this ricin-based drama.

A man is discovered ill in his hotel room with weapons, an “anarchist” type notebook and a certain amount of ricin and this shit is being investigated as a public safety issue? According to authorities there is no criminal investigation going on at this time. No charges have been filed and no indictments have been handed down.

Okay, but doesn't ricin equal criminal...or is that just in certain cases for certain people?

When this story broke it was reported from jump as ‘not terrorism’ (the new terrorism defined in the media as Islamic, well funded and organized) as if there is no such thing as domestic terrorism and as if this nation has never encountered the devastation of domestic terrorism. So when authorities find ricin, weapons and anti-government literature in certain people’s dwellings it is immediately called terrorism. But when other people are found with the same kind of shit it doesn’t even warrant a special episode of Dateline.

I guess that would be cool if there weren’t Americans conspiring to do harm to America. But there are. The tragedy in Oklahoma City should have taught us that. This bitch thinks this failure to freak has a lot to do with who The Man sees as threatening. Well, maybe they aren’t threatened by some citizen loner in a hotel room cooking up ricin, but this bitch is!

Shit.

Which takes me back to this Ricin Found in Las Vegas Hotel Room story and what may be a simple case of one individual playing with fire and getting burned…or it may be something more serious being investigated as a public safety issue because the person under investigation’s last name is Bergendorff not Hussein.

Blink.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The Unfolding of Supercalifragilistic Fubardemocratus...

Shall we?

Okay, so Senator Clinton won Rhode Island, Ohio and the Texas Primary. Senator Obama won Vermont. The Texas Caucus results have yet to come in.

Roll up sleaves...stretch...continue...

Debunkifications
Of Acceptable Blackness...
When Acceptable Blackness meets reality the result is that 59% of Democratic voters who voted for Senator Clinton say that race was an important factor in Ohio. 40% of Democratic voters who voted for Obama said race was one of several important factors in Ohio.

If you accept the notion of acceptable blackness then Obama wasn't acceptably black enough in Ohio.

Or should that be that Clinton was more acceptably white than Obama was acceptably black?

Or...mayhap there is no such thing as acceptable blackness, we are not living in a post race America and the race card, when played, rarely lands in favor of the person of color.

Sniff.

Of Women Are Never Front-runners...
I never bought the notion that Senator Clinton wasn't a front-runner, but since a certain someone put it out there that gender is a greater burden…sigh…behold these numbers, which I beheld without any surprise. 60% of Democratic voters who voted for Senator Clinton said gender was important. 40% of Democratic voters who voted for Senator Obama said gender was important.

Now catch that knee before you hurt somebody - I'm not declaring a feminist victory based on Ohio's Democratic Primary results. I will say that this looks like a gender-based positive for the woman in the race to me and this is why I'm not a fan of absolute statements.

The Fubardemocratus Unfoldeth...
Senator Clinton’s wins may move the mo but they failed to move the pledged delegate count on the Democratic side where Senator Obama is still in the lead.

But, but, but WAIT!

Did you forget about Dre?

Ummm, err...they?

They being the Superdelegates who, in the opinion Senator Clinton expressed on The Today Show/Good Morning America at the same time though allegedly live (wince) this morning, still have their role to play.

Have no doubt; this race will go on…and on, and on, and on. And the first domino of fubardemocratus has fallen! The math, the election map, the spin and the non-stop media orgasm (impressive)...all that shit points to a battle royale in Denver.

Full disclosure - this bitch will be in Denver for the convention to witness the battle royale first hand. ***makes note to pack gas mask and helmet***

Oh, what to do with Florida, where Democrats got punished for the misbehavings of Republicans?

Oh, and what to do with Michigan, where Senator Obama’s name wasn’t on the ballot?

And what oh what to do if you are a Superdelegate who are being asked to use those nifty yet un-democratic super powers to decide the future of the Democratic Party in more ways than one?

Let's see, we know that Greed - Decency = Fubar (G - D = F2).

Now it looks like Dems may be on the way to proving What to Do + Pledged Delegates divided by Superdelegates = fubardemocratus (WtD + PD / SD = F10).

And the whole world is watching…

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Oooh…

A bitch is on glass of wine number…umm, oh who can keep count?

Senator Clinton has won Ohio and Rhode Island.

Senator Obama won Vermont with Texas still too close to call.

Senator McCain wrapped up the Republican nomination and then proceeded to damn near put this bitch to sleep with a Dolesque (or mayhap it was more Dolevish) speech that lacked energy, vision and substance.

But a bitch perked up with the tale of a for real showdown between Team Clinton and Team Obama!

In the right corner…weighing in at an accusation throwing blah blah pounds…the warrior against all things Caucusal…The Wolfish voice of Clinton 2008 - Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson!

In the left corner…weighing in at a defiant blah followed by blah pounds…the defender of the Caucus process…the Hell No We Will Vite mob of one named Bob - Obama campaign lawyer Bob Bauer!

The skinny…
Wolfson scheduled an emergency conference call with the press to accuse the Obama campaign of pulling a fast one during the Texas Caucus and barring Clinton supporters from the room.

Bauer called in.

Ooooh!

Wolfson, clearly caught off guard, welcomed Bauer.

Bauer proceeded to go off.

“Stop attacking the caucus process.”

Nice.

Wolfson defended.

“I would ask you to join with us this evening in ensuring that the serious problems that are ongoing as we speak in Texas are addressed.”

Ohhh!

Bauer landed a big one.

“How is this (complaint) any different than the series of complaints registered against every caucus that you lose?"

Damn! Damn! Shit! And another damn!

Wolfson finished ominously, saying he looked forward to "asking our own questions on subsequent calls of yours."

Ouch, baby.

Ouch.

Party unity, my angry black ass…

Monday, March 03, 2008

Primarycaucapreparitude…

This bitch must confess to being more than a little curious about the PrimaryCaucus results from tomorrow’s drama. After all, Dallas Texas was my home for several years, I’m pretty sure my family lived in Columbus Ohio when I was a wee bitch of two, I visited Vermont during my college years and this bitch almost visited Providence Rhode Island to see Brown lose a hockey game (wink) but was seduced away by a Ren & Stimpy marathon on the telly.

Hell, I’m damn near rooted in these pending PrimaryCaucus states!

March 4th Primarycaucuspreparitude…
TiVo…
Oh blessing of the technological gods, shower the House of Bitchitude with back to back political spin-based programming until we pass the hell out!

Vodka + cran over ice…
Ummm…well, just because.

Queso and chips!
Don’t mess with the joy of cheese covered chip yummified goodness!

Bitchitude…
Because odds are tomorrow will be fucked up from the floor up…

Pondering The Chosen One...

The anticipation has been driving this bitch crazy. Between the polling…the posturing to the media…the interviews and debates followed by more interviews…and then the pundit’s speculation…ugh!

But finally…at last, damn it…we have some results.

Mmmhmmm, in Russia’s Presidential election. Well, actually it was more of a sorta-election.

Cough.

Dmitri Medvedev sailed to a ‘it’s over…shut up, kneel and respect my authority’ victory becoming the third President of the Russian Federation.

President Vladimir Putin is expected to become Prime Minister thus finalizing a smooth non-transfer of power.

Despite attempts to mount challenges to The Chosen One, the opposition never gained traction and the election was a blow out. Well, c’mon now...this election was a done deal before the deal was even a vague though in Vlad’s clever Russian mind.

Sigh.

This bitch remembers the glorious hues of liberty our government cast a post Soviet Russia in. There was to be freedom and democracy and a chicken in every pot for the Russian people and that was supposed to result in happiness and joy throughout that part of the world.

Now, Russia is finalizing the results of a faux election fronted by big money in order to perpetuate an economic system set up to dominate the masses and benefit the few.

That's almost enough to make a bitch nostalgic for glasnost.

Blink.