Pondering 2008...

A bitch is beyond rested up!

What?

Well shit, this bitch had to get my sleep on to prepare for the Caucus followed by Primary followed by Primary based election coverage.

Blink.

As a Midwestern bitch, I'm a wee bit pleased that Iowans are poised to make a race of this. The lack of a clear front runner on the Democratic side may force an exploration of the candidates and their positions.

Gasp!

Mmmmhmmm, and a bitch is all for that shit!

There's nothing like a tight race to bring out the true character of the competitors...to show how they handle challenge...and to give them a chance to show what they reach for first, their policy positions or globs of mud.

But a quick word to the press, if I may be so bold (wink). A statistical three way tie (why does that sound kinky?) is a statistical three way tie. Y'all need to calm the fuck down! A novice to the political game may actually think those two and three point changes day to day mean something...when you press folks know damn well what a 4.5% margin of error equals in a poll.

Shit.

Anyhoo, after the frenzified political drama of Iowa comes New Hampshire. My beloved sister C-Money will be campaigning up there (go on, girl...and wear layers!!). I'm hoping she'll do a couple of guest posts (hint followed by hint and another hint).

Then we'll have South Carolina and the first real test of the Democratic candidates in a state with a large black population. Represent, y'all! Represent!

Pause...consider...continue...

Once again the will of the people is at play and this election is beyond important..so very important on local, statewide and national levels.

In 2007 I witnessed the people of occupied Burma take to the streets to protest despite the reality of brutal retaliation...an amazing woman lose her life to an assassin sent to silence her and to silence dissent in Pakistan...and recent riots in Kenya as the people there protest a controversial election.

In a few hours it will be 2008 and I wonder at my fellow Americans who can't be bothered to vote when so many gave their lives and risked their lives so that we can put ballot in hand and get our vote on.

The vote is power gained through struggle and when we fail to vote we are allowing some other potential asshole to speak for us (shudder).

Yes, change is painful and often messy...yes, the will of the majority is often frustrating as hell (Lawd)...but yes, democracy is indeed the best revenge.

Tick.

Happy 2008, y'all!

Tock.

Let's go change the world...

Benazir Bhutto…

The former Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto, has been assassinated.

When I heard that she had been wounded while at a political rally this morning I thought of her family.

People lost a loved one today.

When I heard that she was critical and in surgery I thought of Pakistan, the country that she knowingly put her life on the line to defend against the forces of military oppression.

The Pakistani people lost an advocate today.

Then the news came that Benazir Bhutto is dead.

What happens next will determine what the world lost today.

Freedom requires opposition…dissent and the passionate defense of the right to voice dissent…not religion, or constant agreement or any of the love it or leave it bullshit those who fear the masses toss out as if an argument where a terroristic threat.

Silence the opposition and you smother freedom.

Smother freedom and the will of the people will struggle to catch fire.

I think that’s why Benazir Bhutto returned to Pakistan despite all the risks....because of the risks...to nurture the fire.

Benazir Bhutto was 54 years old.

And I bet there is a study that shows that studies are full of shit…

A bitch noticed this news bit about teens feeling that a person must lie, cheat and/or whoop some ass to get ahead and…well, it caught my attention.

Blink.

A new survey seems to say that more teens see the value in such behavior than when the study was last conducted in 2003.

That’s the kind of survey analysis that always pisses me off. Now there are all manner of people trying to blame the increase in teen evilness on politicians, magazines, television shows, and blah followed by blah followed by blah and blah.
But it looks suspiciously like bullshit to this bitch.

According to the survey conducted by Junior Achievement Worldwide, nearly 40 percent of teens believe that lying, cheating or violence are necessary to succeed. 23 percent who said violence toward another person is acceptable on some level. Overall, the number of teens who said they’d fuck with the rules doubled since 2003.

Okay, but mayhap someone should ask some not so obvious questions about this survey data.

Factoring in this new data, how can we trust that the teens are telling the truth when they say they don’t value telling the truth?

Or could it be that these teens are actually being more honest that the 2003 teens? If so, wouldn’t that indicate a decrease in survey dishonesty and wouldn’t that sort of contradict the new survey results?

Blink.

And why come (wink), if studies are so accurate, everyone and everything gets blamed but the parents even though studies show that teens listen to parents over everybody else?

Shit, now my Afro hurts...

Remembering Oscar Peterson…

Jazz legend Oscar Peterson died Sunday.

I adore Jazz and particularly the unique style of Oscar Peterson…the swing and the technical brilliance of his music will live on as an amazing musical legacy.

If you are not familiar with his music you need to take care of that because when Oscar Peterson played it made a person grateful the piano was invented...

Holiday un-preparedness...

Lawd, have mercy!

A bitch is too tired to even fret about my current state of holiday un-preparedness.

Blink.

I didn't even have time to make up my usual list of needed things!

Sigh.

Thank Gawd I pre-stocked vodka, cran and yummified eatables last week.

Whew.

Toodles for now and may all y'all be blessed with happiness and joy...

From the heart...

A bitch has been feeling a bit illish and had a hard time waking up today. So, when I heard my phone ringing early this morning I ignored it to get some coffee.

Then it rang again and, fearing some sort of drama, I picked it up.

“Hello?”

There was a pause and then a tinkled voice asked “Miz Shark-Fu? That you?”

It was one of the wee ones from the home I volunteer at. There are a bunch of four year olds staying there right now and they tend to sound alike, so I struggled to place the voice.

“Yes.” I replied cautiously. “Is something wrong, honey?”

“Hold on! We got your Christmas (pronounced KRISSS'mess) present for you! Hold on!”

So I held.

Blink.

Then I heard a gloriously off key chorus of young chil'ren…and at least one pissed off and not afraid to let you know it infant (wink)…float through my phone.

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

They stumbled over the "good tidings" part, but finished strong.

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

“Merry Christmas Miz Shark-Fu!” the voice tinkled back on the line.

"Merry Christmas to y’all too!” I somehow managed to reply.

“Gotta go.” was followed by a firm click.

I dried happy tears and made a mental note to add basic phone etiquette to next year’s curriculum (wink)…

…and then I called back to thank the staff, mothers and chil’ren for reminding me that the best gifts come from the heart.

Thanks but no thanks, motherfucker...

Bob Kerrey has issue the now expected bullshit apology for the ignorant shit he meant to say exactly the way he said it exactly when he said it.

Next up in the How to Campaign Dirty and Keep Your Shirt Clean Rovian Playbook, attack websites!

Oh golly, I wonder what line Clinton 2008 is going to cross with those nifty thangs and then send some pathetic minion out to apologize two days later?!?!

Blink.

On a related note, Bob Kerrey can kiss my militant black ass...

...he still ain't subtle and that shit still ain't slick.

Pondering Rudy G.'s sick ass...

Republican Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani had to stay a wee bit longer in St. Louis after falling ill.

Specifically, Rudy G.’s flight had already taken off when his illishness escalated and they were forced to turn around, land and take his sick ass to the hospital.

As if St. Louis needs another sick ass panderific Republican hypocrite, even if it’s only for a few hours.

Anyhoo, what I find amazing is that Rudy landed in St. Louis County (Chesterfield isn't near the city) but they drove his ill ass all the way into my ‘hood so he could get his sick on at Barnes-Jewish. They had to pass St. Johns Mercy and Missouri Baptist hospital to get all the way to Barnes…which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense if Rudy was ill enough to warrant turning around after taking off.

My conspiracy theory juices floweth!

Sick Ass Rudy G. Conspiracy Theory #1
Rudy G. was refused service at St. Johns Mercy at the request of Archbishop Raymond Burke, who demanded that Giuliani renounce all things GLBT…in Latin…followed by several hours of prayer before allowing him treatment.

It could happen.

Cough.

Or.

Sick Ass Rudy G. Conspiracy Theory #2
Missouri Baptist hospital, empowered by the religious practitioner movement that is taking root Missouri, was willing to admit Rudy Giuliani but only if he signed a clause stating that should he become pregnant he would carry the baby to term.

Blink.

If you lived here that wouldn’t sound crazy.

Blink again.

Or.

Sick Ass Rudy G. Conspiracy Theory #3
Rudy, alarmed by his new dismal poll numbers, had to be forced to get on the flight and return to the early primary states. His tantrum was so severe that they were forced to turn around and make up some bullshit story about him projectile vomiting like it was going out of style.

Knowing that the traffic on Highway 40 would buy them at least an hour to calm their candidate down, staffers made for Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis city.

Rudy was admitted and, after several hours of his staff chanting “You are America’s Mayor!” and “9/11, 9/11, 9/11!!" at him repeatedly, pulls himself together.

Pause…consider…continue…

Or maybe this was just some sorry ass stunt to drag attention away from Iowa, Huckabee and the two tons of scandalacious drama Giuliani 2008 is currently dragging everywhere he campaigns.

Blink.

Help Save Pretty Bird Woman House...

According to a recent Amnesty International report, more than one in three American Indian and Alaskan Native women will be raped or sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Domestic violence is also a serious problem. Often victims have nowhere to turn due to poverty, remote geography and tangled legal jurisdictions.

Local women’s shelters can make a dramatic difference in helping women cope with the effects of violence, and helping them escape from situations where further violence is likely.

Too often, these shelters are chronically under funded.

Zintkala Waste Win Oti (“Pretty Bird Woman House”) has run out of funding and will be forced to close in May if new resources can’t be found to fund it. It serves the Standing Rock Indian Reservation, which is on the border of North and South Dakota. The shelter was founded by Jackie Brown Otter after the kidnapping, rape and murder of her sister (whose Lakota name means Pretty Bird Woman).

As a shelter volunteer in my home town of St. Louis Missouri, I know how important local shelters are and I know how hard it is to keep the doors open.

Please help Pretty Bird Woman House keep the door open if you can.

Pretty Bird Woman House Chip In

Related Post by Andy Ternay over at Shakesville

Pretty Bird Woman House

Thanks.

Not the kind of history this bitch wants to make...

A nod of my Afro to Rikyrah over at Mirror on America for the tip on this ignorant bullshit.

I’m not surprised that campaign minions have begun to smear Senator Obama with allegations that he was raised a religious radical nor am I surprised that “his name sure is different” bullshit has reared its ignorant head.

But I am surprised that anyone thinks they’ll get away with this shit or that those lame excuses with fly.

No…uh, uh…not.

Clinton 2008 has officially pissed me the hell off!

A bitch wasn’t even going to dip into the early primaries until they dove to such an insulting low that even my reluctant ass is checking airfares to South Carolina (anyone got a bed for a bitch?).

I call bullshit on any assertion that Clinton 2008…a campaign so tightly controlled that staffers won’t fart without getting a memo containing secret code granting permission to do so from the candidate…wasn’t connected with the over the top obvious as hell slapping down of the real race card that Bob Kerrey (who endorsed Clinton) pulled the other day.

"I've watched the blogs try to say that you can't trust [Obama] because he spent a little bit of time in a secular madrassa," the Nebraska Democrat said "I feel quite opposite. I think it's a tremendous strength whether he's in the United States Senate or whether he's in the White House."

Oh and...

"It's probably not something that appeals to him, but I like the fact that his name is Barack Hussein Obama, and that his father was a Muslim and that his paternal grandmother is a Muslim. There's a billion people on the planet that are Muslims, and I think that experience is a big deal."

Yeah, motherfucker…right.

That shit ain’t subtle and you ain’t slick.

If these comments are innocent, then that 2006 Republican macaca "slip" was an accident.

Catch thy knee, I’m not endorsing any candidate...but I am an advocate for voter education and I intend to educate my brothers and sisters in South Carolina about what’s going on in Iowa and about the difference between a candidate pandering to the black vote and respecting it.

A bitch wants to ask my brothers and sisters how they’d feel if their son/brother/cousin/black male friend, who was running for high office, had campaign operatives smear him as a drug dealing third generation religious radical rather than discuss policy differences.

Don't even get me started on the anti-Muslim slant...ugh!

Religious tolerance, my black ass.

I want to know how the same black voters Clinton 2008 is courting feel about the name game being pulled on Barack Obama while issues like generational poverty, dealing with HIV/AIDS in black communities, unequal access to education, job discrimination (though it looks like at least some Clinton supporters know a heck of a lot about the anatomy of that shit) and a lack of affordable housing go unaddressed.

This is privilege as usual …the move they pull when shit gets competitive so they can take you out at the knees and put an uppity “he should be happy as a Senator” candidate back into the submissive “what can I do to help you get elected, Missus?” position.

The way I see it, Clinton 2008 is willing to risk offending some primary voters in later states because assholes with spreadsheets were able to show that the Iowa bump will be worth it...

...and I guess that answers my questions about politics as usual versus a real commitment to change.

The Woman has shown herself to be a lot like The Man and that's not the kind of history this bitch is interested in making.

Blink.

Shut up, shut up, shut up...

If anyone has any doubt that Senator Joe Lieberman is a complete asshole you need to slap yourself.

Lawd, have mercy.

This man was almost Vice President of the United States…second in line to lead the nation!

Jesus!

Now he’s a conservative dressed out in independent clothing...and he keeps talking and giving his opinion about shit.

Ugh!

And so we have the endorsement of Senator John McCain with the following quote from Senator Lieberman…

“Being a Republican is important. Being a Democrat is important. But you know what's more important than that? The interest and well-being of the United States of America."

No shit, you rancid asshole…that’s what you should have been thinking about instead of endorsing Senator McCain!

He’s evolved from a mere political disappointment into a real pain in the ass with staying power (send pointed frown to Connecticut)…like a resistant staph infection, for the love of all that’s nasty.

Well, if Senator Lieberman has joined the ranks of evil knavish Rovian minions then we must defend against him as we defend against his new rancid home-boys.

***lifts hand high and raises Merciless Rod of Correction skyward***

Senator Lieberman, you ignorant fuck, may your tongue be silent and the power of you vote sway only to the left until you get gone from political life!

Blink.

Shit, it was worth a try…

Rep. Julia Carson...

Rep. Julia Carson has died at the age of 69.

Rep. Carson was the first woman and the first black person to represent Indianapolis in Congress.

She championed children's rights, women's rights...was an advocate for the homeless and worked for peace rather than war.

As Senator Bayh (D-Indiana) said..."She was elected to important public offices, but never forgot who she was, where she came from or who she was there to serve."

May we all be inspired to do the same...

Tis the season...

This bitch has enjoyed several fantabulous parties this holiday season and a glance at my calendar shows that there are several yet to come.

Excellent!

If I don’t see you out and about at a fete this weekend, you be sure to make wherever you are a holiday party to remember.

And the forecast is calling for snow, so drive like you’ve got some damn sense (wink).

Toodles...

The take away…

A bitch simply must keep it real and address my take on the recent negative drama going down on the Democratic side of the 2008 campaign.

Cough.

This post in no way is an endorsement of one side over the other but is rather a bitch’s reaction to that drug use shit.

As you may already know, the co-chair of Senator Clinton’s New Hampshire campaign resigned over some comments made to the Washington Post.

Bill Shaheen said a lot of shit to the Washington Post, but a bitch is pretty sure the following is what forced the resignation…

Alec MacGillis the Washington Post 12/12/2007
Shaheen said Obama's candor on the subject would "open the door" to further questions. "It'll be, 'When was the last time? Did you ever give drugs to anyone? Did you sell them to anyone?'" Shaheen said. "There are so many openings for Republican dirty tricks. It's hard to overcome."

Pause…sip water…continue.

Now this bitch would have been satisfied with Shaheen’s resignation if it weren’t for the background that political pundits are adding as they try to explain why the fuck Shaheen said it in the first place.

It seems that Clinton staffers have been frustrated with the lack of interest being paid to Obama’s teen drug use, which is insulting. If you don't have the dirt to bury him stop asking the press to speculate him off the stage.

And please tell Mark Penn that he ain't slick when he layers in words like cocaine while sorta-denying that his boss was trying to frame Senator Obama as a drug dealer.

That ig'nant shit just makes my Afro hot.

What I take away from this curious mixture of verbal malfunctions is that Clinton staffers are pissed off that a black man running for President is not being called a drug dealer by pundits and the press even though those same staffers have been working hard to get someone not connected to the campaign to call him a drug dealer and are beyond pissed off that the 'if he’s back he must have been dealing crack' stereotype hasn’t been applied to Senator Obama.

Why else would they be so frustrated?

Obama has been on the record with his teen drug use for over a decade…he has weathered political accusations related to it before…and the last thing Clinton 2008 wants pundits connecting is how often political experience leads to stereotype-based smear campaigns in American politics.

I see professional operatives frustrated by the lack of traction gained through subtle suggestion go to the tried and true vault of nastified allegations. Smear…then deny, apologize or take one for the cause and resign. It’s all good as long as the smear lingers like a stinky fart in a humid room and drives voters away.

Whether these efforts will result in a spike in the polls for Senator Clinton remains to be seen…Iowans aren’t fond of negative campaigns…but that dirty ass shit sure as hell got the press talking. I haven’t heard Senator Obama’s name mentioned without a reference to drugs in two news cycles.

Nice work.

Very Rovian with a hint of South Carolina 2000.

Y'all must be so fucking proud, but you've got this bitch is missing the hell out of change vs. more of the same...

Pander first...govern never...

Missouri’s nightmare, Governor Matt Blunt, has shown his natural ass…again.

Baby Blunt formed a…well, he’s calling it a task force on the impact of abortion on women.

My people call it bullshit.

The so-called task force is stacked with anti-choice activists. Basically, this anti-abortion gathering is setting out to prove themselves right…and, if Baby Blunt had a fucking clue, he’d know that nothing shat out from this beyond partisan gathering of agreeables is going to be taken seriously.

Cough.

A bitch can’t help but think that mayhap Mr. Blunt Trauma isn’t certain what to do with his time or perhaps he doesn’t realize that there is plenty of other shit he really might want to look into.

Like the shit that has resulted from his inability to govern the state.

Blink.

How about I offer up some suggestions?

Great!

Governor Blunt’s policies have tossed around 150,000 working Missourians into the world of uninsuredness. There are an estimated 700,000 Missourians without health insurance in Missouri and a majority of them are working people who don’t have options.

How about a panel to investigate the impact being uninsured has on women? On children? On people and families and communities?

Hmmm? Hello....?

Okay, well...let's move on.

The rate of food insecurity in Missouri is rather high. Some 9 percent of households are food insecure…meaning that they are at risk for not having anything to eat despite assistance.

And our Boy Nightmare hasn’t done a damn thing to address the thousands of Missourians (catch thy knee, conservatives, many of these folks are workers) who realistically fear hunger. And for those who are not working…a bitch believes that supporting a culture of life extends beyond birth and that hunger in America is our great national shame.

Golly, could we get a task force to investigate the impact being food insecure and going hungry has on women…children…people and communities?

Oh, and what about the unemployment situation in Missouri? The one thing that unites Missourians, be we rural or citified, is our collective concern over the exodus of industry and talent from the state.

I sure would like to know the impact an unemployment rate of 5.6 percent has on women, children, people and our communities! And I would hope that that task force would also dip into the issue of low wage jobs, no fucking affordable housing for workers and the decline of benefit providing jobs and how that shit impacts Missourians.

Cough again.

Oh what the fuck am I thinking?

That anti-abortion task force isn’t about making better policy because the Blunt Administration isn’t in the business of people positive policy any more than they are concerned about women’s health.

Mmmhmmm, what we have here is yet another example of pander first and govern never.

Did I mention that my people call it bullshit?

Congratulations Jodie Foster!

Congrats to Ms. Jodie Foster!

Oh, and congrats on winning an award at the Women in Entertainment Power 100 too (wink).

Pondering 2008 in the Show Me state...

A bitch may have been born in Minneapolis but my ass was raised in Missouri. The Missouri of my childhood had plenty of problems…a history of racial segregation and oppression, regional adoration of all things insurgent and Confederate, rigid class divides and unemployment.

But we were also proud to be the Show Me state…a place where people questioned shit rather than just accept it and where being willing to change your mind and learn was something to brag on.

Sadly, the Missouri of my youth is not the Missouri I returned to some five years ago and nothing illustrates that better than the current crop of ballot initiatives set to divide us in 2007.

The tried and true affirmative action ban...
My first reaction to this was that it is kind of warped to have a ban on affirmative action practices in a state that’s hemorrhaging jobs and talent at a record pace.

My second reaction was disgust because Missouri was chosen for this ban for a reason.

For what we have always been and what we no longer work not be…a state where the klan is listed on highway beautification signs, confederate flags adorn too many pick-up truck bumpers and the St. Louis Post Dispatch calmly publishes articles explaining that white people are leaving a school district because the black population is growing.

These assholes coming to Missouri is like ants swarming a kitchen...something called out to them that this was the place to be and that's nothing to be proud of.

The so-called abortion ban…
Another year equals another assault on choice in Missouri.

Gawd forbid energy and effort be put towards education and prevention in Missouri. St. Louis city's std infection rates are an example of what decades of the war on choice can do.

And here we are again…at war over a ballot initiative when we should be working to educate our youth, empower women and their doctors and support the kind of family planning that builds strong communities.

Nothing can not be pro-family if it is anti-woman…but then again, there’s nothing pro-family about this ballot shit.

The fear of a brown majority immigration initiative…
When I moved back to St. Louis city I was thrilled to learn that we have a large immigrant population because it made me feel that my city was welcoming and inclusive. We should be proud of the diversity immigrants have brought to St. Louis in the past and continue to bring.

Instead, we’re looking at a ballot initiative that seeks to profile against anyone brown and possibly of Mexican descent.

The last thing we need in this state is local law enforcement having the legal right to ask for “papers” from people of color. I get enough grief trying to shop/vote/drive while black as it is.

Top that shit sundae off with the English Only measure and I just don’t recognize this place anymore.

The Missouri state motto…which is in Latin and would become illegal should that English only measure pass…is Salus populi suprema lex esto.

Let the welfare of the people be the supreme law.

Come November 2008, Missourians will Show Me and the rest of the country what that means to us and what we stand for.

Lawd, have mercy.

By request, all I want for Christmas…

A longtime member of the faithful flock of bitchitude sent a bitch an e-mail asking what I want for a holiday gift.

Blink…blink…and blink once again.

Aw, that’s really nice. For real!

This bitch is going to stick with my standard holiday wish for a day of quiet devoid of drama.

What?

Odds are that one of these years it’ll come true!

Anyhoo…

In addition to that, I encourage everyone out there to support local organizations that are working hard to make our community better.

Looking for organizations to support in St. Louis?

Fantabulous (wink)!

Here are two that are near and dear to my heart…

Places for People is accepting clothing, furniture and appliances. Oh, and cash too! This wonderful organization works year round to help people with serious mental illness live independently in the community. Visit their website for donation information and other ways to help!

The Haven of Grace is a transitional residential shelter for homeless, pregnant women, ages 16 to 24. A donation will help this program continue to be a place where young women commit to redefining their lives and ensuring a stable future for their children.

Where ever you live, take time to support those who support your community!

Those tapes...

Yesterday we were bathed in ice but today we are supposed to reach a high of 50 degrees.

Fuck it…let the melt begin!

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

A bitch has long been amazed by what people are able to tolerate and even support when they don’t have to witness it. The death penalty, police brutality, starvation, genocide, war and torture are all discussed and debated like theory rather than reality.

I couldn’t help but think about that shit while reading the news reports about the missing and destroyed tapes showing “enhanced” interrogation methods.

Should we torture? Do we torture? What is torture? All of these fucking questions make me sick because obviously we should not torture, we do torture and what was done on the now missing and allegedly destroyed tapes was torture.

Cough.

Asking whether the tapes in question contained images that would sicken the masses and bring shame upon our nation is like asking whether the erased 18 minutes from the Watergate tapes contained information that would have been damaging to Nixon.

Just think about what we do know about our use of interrogation techniques. It reminds me of the shock I felt when studying the Watergate cover-up tapes of Nixon released after he lost his bid to keep them away from the FBI. Jesus to Gawd, if the man didn’t destroy the tape of him offering to find a million dollars to pay off burglars and buy silence what the hell was on that 18 minutes he did erase?

Shudder.

As with Watergate, the masses must press for the truth even though it scares the shit out of us.

So, a bitch will admit that I fear what was on those erased tapes...but I fear not knowing more.

Hold please...

It’s raining ice.

Lawd, have mercy.

Ice, I tell you!

Sigh.

Bitchitude will return when my fucking fingers thaw.

Jesus…

Is that the weekend I see before me?

Oh…my…Gawd, this has been a week of drama.

Ugh!

I can’t get into it, but suffice it to say that all manner of shit broke out in a bitch’s world simultaneously.

Not good, not good, not good…trust a bitch (wink).

But off in the distance…beyond the veil of ice-based rain…is the motherfucking weekend!

Hell yes.

In times like this a bitch likes to look back to a kindler gentler time…

…and that’s why this story about the Commodore 64 made me smile.

C-Money and this bitch had one and it was the shit! I didn’t exactly understand what it was for…shit, a bitch wrote school papers by hand then typed them up until college (fuck it, I hate change)…but everyone in my school envied the hell out of it so I just had to adore it!

Even finding out that my beloved Commodore 64 is 25 years old…wince…didn’t piss in the Corn Flakes of my nostalgic joy.

Sigh.

Music television that actually played music, hours upon hours of time to fuck around doing nothing with my Commodore 64 and easy access to ice cold Capri-Suns from the fridge….ahhhhhh, those were the days.

…and if the witch drowns then she was not a witch!

I’m tired of living under the rule of our head idiot in charge but reading shit like this makes me want to flee north to the land of Smartie-based joy and Tim Hortons yumminess.

Will someone please tell Scooter B. to stop!

Just stop!

No more press conferences…no one believes a word you say anyway. No more diplomatic missions…I was wrong, it can get worse. And no more sending letters to the leaders of other countries!

Lawd, if he comes off in his letters the way he comes off during a press conference then…oh Gawd!!

Haven't we suffered enough under the fuck up who keeps on fucking?!?!

Now Scooter B. is writing personal letters telling North Korea to come clean about nuclear stuff less than a week after telling Iran to come clean about nuclear stuff in a press conference.

Basically, the offer is that if they confess they are spared but if they don’t they could be doomed.

Pause…consider…continue…

Oh Christ, next week he’ll be demanding that spectral evidence be included in NIE reports!

Blink.

I never knew JFK and I sure as heck didn’t work with JFK, but this dude is no JFK…

A certain Mitt Romney of the how much money will it take to buy the Presidency Romney’s gave a speech on religion today that his staff would very much like to result in no more questions about his religion.

Blink.

Aside from the insult to my intelligence that is any comparison between then candidate Kennedy’s famous speech on religion and now candidate Romney’s speech, the need for this is very telling and I can’t stop thinking that Republicans did this shit to themselves.

Candidate Kennedy faced a nation unsure and with a lot of questions.

Candidate Romney has to get through the Evangelical base on the Republican Party who think, like Queen of Rancidity Ann Coulter, that they are perfected and other people don’t need religious freedom they need perfecting too.

The Evangelical base was recruited for the power of their uniform and predictable voting numbers and it is that uniform predictability that Romney is up against.

A bitch objects to the climate of intolerance for religious freedom that led Romney to make this speech.

It’s sad but not surprising.

But I can’t rustle up sympathy for the fact that the same morally confused prosperity gospel believing voters Romney's been pandering to on the issues of reproductive choice, marriage equality and immigration reform are sharpening their knives and anxiously waiting for a fellow "perfected" Evangelical to emerge from the pack (can you say Huckabee?) and green light the kind of value voting the gospel of MyFaithorNoFaith-based politics demands.

"The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all."
John F. Kennedy
Vanderbilt University
May 18 of 1963

Come clean?

Scooter B., desperately trying to frame the new Iran intelligence report as a pro-war positive, is now calling on Iran to “come clean” and admit that they did once have nuclear aspirations.

Blink.

I’m thinking this may be an attempt to ignore and redirect.

The new intelligence report doesn’t absolve Iran of dabbling in a previous nuclear courtship back before 2003…but that’s not the fucking point.

The point is that Scooter B. and his minions have been making war noises and escalating towards conflict based on a foundation that has now been exposed to be sandish.

Since we don’t have the technology to go back in time and bomb what was why don’t we deal with what is…and that’s us as in the United States barely avoiding repeating recent fubarish war history by bombing first and asking questions never!

Jesus, these idiots were talking about the world being on the verge of World War III!

Think about that shit.

Shudder.

Pause…consider…continue…

If our previous intelligence breakdown was single sourced to Curveball I wonder who the fall guy was/is going to be for this shit?

Breaking ball?

Blink.

Pleasant...

A cold wind is blowing across St. Louis today and making this bitch crave chowder in sourdough bread bowls.

Mmmmmmm…chowder.

Anyhoo, a certain Emerson (love that name, by the way) wrote this bitch an e-mail. Specifically, Emerson would like to know why black bloggers are so angry and added that everything can’t be anger inspiring because some issues are worthy of pleasant discussion.

Blink.

Fuck it all, I’ll jump at that!

First of all, all black bloggers aren’t angry. Seriously, I’ve found some happy as hell black bloggers out there. There was even this one brother who positioned himself as the not angry black blog alternative to my angry ass (cough). That made a bitch think of artificial sweetner, but I’m all for whatever gives his life meaning. Anyhoo, a bitch is not a fan of absolute statements and certainly not in this case. Black bloggers are as diverse as black people.

Having said that, some of us are angry. You ask why. Although I’m fond of saying that if you’re not angry you’re not paying attention, a bitch will pass this time and simply reply that the answer is in our writing.

Pause…sip water…continue.

I’ve never said that there aren’t certain topics worthy of pleasant discussion. Shit, we’ve had some pleasant discussions here, haven’t we? Mmmhmmm, we’ve talked about Smarties…cooking with Smarties…sharing the joy of Smarties…dawgs and dawg based joy…vodka followed by cran…ummm, oh and the pleasure one gets from sparkling grape soda pop (wink).

Some issues can be explored with extreme pleasantness but some shit inspires the emotion of anger, y'all. I think too many of us are so comfortably numb that real emotion scares the shit out of us. Anger explains depth…it conveys that a wrong has been done and someone isn’t happy about it…and it is a valid response to a lot of shit.

People ask me why I’m angry but to me the more interesting question is why this anger disturbs them.

You want disturbing? Turn on the news and you’ll see people marching in other countries over violations Americans can’t be bothered to give a shit about.

That’s disturbing as a motherfucker to me.

I hate to make The Man happy...give me anger over apathy any day.

There, now wasn’t that pleasant (wink)?

Currently soothing my nerves with…

The Song Lives On which includes the blessed union of Joe Sample and the divine Ms. Lalah Hathaway on vocals.

This music is rich and creamy and smooth, baby, smooth…like gelato.

Fantabulous…

Wolf...

Okay, so a bitch is in the midst of a technological office drama that I won’t get into right this minute, but I simply can’t resist commenting on Scooter B.’s latest diplomatic malfunction on Iran.

Scooter B. and his minions have been spinning that Iran is serious…beyond serious…totally serious…so serious they probably already did it about building themselves a nuclear weapon.

Iran has denied such claims, said that Scooter B. and his minions are full of shit and claimed that any uranium enrichment is for power producing reasons.

This Yo Mamma off has been going on for ever and a day with the last escalation coming from Scooter B. who went there and said that not taking out Iran would lead to World War III.

And now…cough…there is an intelligence estimate stating that Iran hasn’t been serious about building the big one since 2003.

Oh my…can you say awkward?

Makes a bitch wonder about the accuracy of the spin that resulted in the Kyl-Lieberman measure.

Blink.

Given the inconsistencies between the intelligence estimate and Scooter B.’s propaganda, he had no choice but to get his speech on this morning.

Iran is about to blow us up has morphed into “Iran was dangerous, Iran is dangerous and Iran will be dangerous if they have the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon.”

Iran is seconds away from removing a dozen nuclear weapons from the oven is now “What's to say they couldn't start another covert nuclear weapons program?"

And Iran is full of evil doers playing with plutonium and doing other evil nuclear things has become "Iran needs to be taken seriously as a threat to peace."

Cough.

I can’t confirm this but a bitch is thinking he ended his remarks with…WOLF! WOLF! WOLF!...

Oh my, that was quick…

Australia has announced that it will sign the Kyoto Protocol!

Damn, a bitch could get whiplash with y’all moving so fast down under (wink).

So.

Ummm, let’s see that just leaves…oh.

Blink.

The United States of America stands alone.

Shit.

Are any of the fabillion trillion chil’ren running for President on the record about Kyoto?

And if not, that’s one question this bitch would like to see planted…

Pondering elections…

Where the hell did the weekend go, y’all? Lawd, a bitch is busier than ever this time of year (yawn).

Anyhoo (yawn once again)…

This bitch has been pondering elections!

First up, Russia! Longtime readers know that this bitch adores following Russian politics almost as much as I adore Russian vodka (wink). So, I monitored the Russian election (my people call it fixed) closely over the weekend.

United Russia (President Putin’s party) won some 65% of the vote which should equal at least 70 seats in the Russian Parliament. The Communist Party was the only other political party to make the cut but they only achieved 11% of the vote.

Blink.

Putin feels validated and all indications point to his retaining power as a result of these election total even after he's supposed to step down as is constitutionally required.

Now that’s what I call a political hustle!

My goodness, if our allies are getting their election fraud on I wonder what our sworn international enemies are up to!

Onward to Venezuela, where President Hugo Chavez attempted to seize power for ever and ever and ever….

…but lost that bid for people approved total rule.

Ummm, well…that goes a wee bit against type but America wasted no time issuing the following statement.

“In a country that wants to be a democracy, the people spoke, and the people spoke for democracy and against unlimited power." U.S. Undersecretary of State Nicholas Burns

Blink.

Damnit to hell and back again, that made my Afro hurt.

This is why people are tired of our bullshit!

We blow kisses and ignore the oppression of the masses at the hands of emerging dictatorships we’ve chosen as allies but toss elitist “I’m so glad you people decided to be democratic but I'm still not picking you to play kick ball” comments at a country we’ve been trying to paint as a dictatorship that just politically demonstrated it answers to the political will of it’s people.

Wince.

And finally, let's take a quick look at our own election-based primary race.

Yawn (wink).

A bitch has enjoyed one broadcast happening above all others - the exploration by media hounds, as if surprised and totally beyond shocked, of two adorably telling questions…

Why would women voters not vote for Hillary? & Who would have predicted that Obama would have to earn the black vote?

Aren’t they freakishly cute questions in a 1954's social revival kind of way?

Women voters are actually considering the issues and not just leaping at the opportunity to make history (gasp)?!

Black voters actually want to hear what all the candidates have to say and expect Obama to (double gasp followed by a sputter) earn their vote?!

Someone bring forth smelling salts stat! Tim Russert is having a case of the vapors...

***logs off while fluffing Afro soothingly***