Hell yes, teens have a voice on choice!

C-Money and this bitch were reading The St. Louis American last night. There was a story on the front page about teens who lobbied to save sex education and this bitch was too thrilled!

Hats off to all the teens who participated! Amazing! A bitch is beyond inspired.

Sadly, these teens where down in Jefferson City to lobby against House Bill 1075, which was proposed by none other than Representative Cynthia Davis.

HB1075 is another attempt by Representative Davis and her cronies to gut funding for sex education in Missouri. Apparently, Representative Davis didn’t have time to meet with the group of future voters who took the time to visit Jefferson City during Spring Break. Somehow she did find time to chat with the Kansas City Star about the 'overly permissive society' we have here in Missouri. A bitch is pretty sure the young adults who were unable to meet with Rep. Davis would have loved to give her their perspective on that topic.

O’Fallon must be so proud.

Mercy.

These young adults should be applauded and those of us who have the vote should be truly challenged.

And feel free to drop Representative Cynthia Davis a line and share your thoughts on her refusal to meet with a group of young adults and explain herself to the very population she has had the audacity to pretend to speak for.

Tell her that the Show-Me state isn’t gonna fall for that bullshit!

And a bitch strongly encourages everyone to take a moment and applaud the lobbying efforts of Teen Advocates for Sexual Health (TASH), Boys2Men and Girls2 Women (affiliates of Planned Parenthood of the St. Louis Region).

This fantabulous effort should be acknowledged, applauded and supported through the magnificent power of the ballot!

Get active.

Know your state Representative and Senator, their phone number and their e-mail address. These people work for you and need to do the people's work while in office...not pander to some loud assed conservative throw backs.

Come on now people...

By request, some thoughts on Duke...

A certain Fahren has requested a bitch’s thoughts on the alleged gang rape at Duke. This is a difficult subject…the subject of rape…and is only complicated by race, class and campus politics. But a bitch has some thoughts and my ass is never one to avoid expressing them.

This bitch believes that an individual should not be convicted in the press. That’s one of those very lofty ideals that is constantly challenged by the incredible capacity of humans to perpetrate violence on each other in ways that leave little or no doubt on the table. But a bitch holds to that ideal and will make every effort to hold to it here.

A bitch also believes that rape, much like abuse and molestation, is a crime whose perpetrators all too often bank on the social stigma associated with it as a mechanism to get away with it. This bitch is in awe of the women, men and children who have the courage to prove the criminals wrong…to challenge those social stigmas that victimize the victim and absolve the victimizer…to stand and demand justice within the law.

The individuals who where at that house on the night of the alleged gang rape are adults. They are not kids. They are not boys trying to grow into their social responsibility…they are adults. If a bitch had a dollar for every motherfucking ‘white boy’ and ‘black man’ reference that pops up in the press my ass would own Duke. Gang rape is not a youthful indiscretion or a casual accusation and shame on anyone who stumbles into that pile of bullshit.

This is an opportunity to address some shit. A bitch is deeply troubled by the lack of coverage being given to the separate incident of racial harassment that happened in association with that same house on the night of the alleged gang rape. A student called 911 and reported being shouted at and taunted with racial slurs while passing the house in question. So, mayhap there is something amiss in the house of Duke? And, rather than fall into public relations fuck up move number 2 (pontificating about what you have done right rather than point out how you will address all the fucking shit you have done wrong), Duke might want to take the opportunity to discuss it’s role in the community, the expectations of student behavior and what appears to be an outbreak of tired assed Strom Thurmondesque ‘black women sure are hot & I bet they really like it’ sexualized racism.

To expand upon this, there is the history of the sexualization of black women that southern towns know all too well. A history of rape, assault and abuse that a bitch is pretty sure Duke would rather not dig up. This incident has done that for you, Duke. It’s on the table and you can either let it rot or address it. Let it rot and the smell will stay with you for years…just ask Syracuse about that shit. Address it and you might actually achieve the social atmosphere you’ve spent the last several days trying to spin the media into thinking you already have.

And as for the suspension of the team...playing sports at college is a privilege and not a right. All collegiate teams and organizations represent institutions when they are on campus and off campus. Since scholarships are often involved, a bitch supports the notion that athletes have expectations and be held accountable to them. This bitch is still trying to understand how a Native American war game became a rich white man’s sport in the first place. At any rate, folks need to cease acting like the team is being punished…the administration giveth and the administration taketh away. Just ask some of the students on academic scholarships who have to maintain a certain grade point average.

Sigh.

My thoughts are with the victim and she doesn't need an indictment or a conviction for this bitch to have her back.

Lawd, a bitch is fed up with seeing Rape 101 pop up in college course guides year after year.

Maybe someone should address that with the same enthusiasm they put behind recruiting a motherfucking lacrosse team.

Killer B.'s video blog post....

Okay, so most of you know that this bitch has some evil assed fibroids. Most of them were successfully murdered with full premeditation several years ago. Enid, as this bitch named my fibroid grouping, died...but her kin are still dedicated to the notion of avenging her death...evil assed motherfuckers.

Anyhoo, several folks have commented about their various issues and many on the drama of having out of control periods. A certain Killer B. was kind enough to do a video blog posting on menstruation suppression in response to some of those comments! This bitch is enough of a blog novice to be beyond impressed with video blogging...too cool for school!

Note - Killer B. is merely providing some information about a topic she has researched and an option she has personally tried, so don't start commenting about how a bitch is being irresponsible and folks need to sue my ass. A bitch is beyond broke, so go forth and sue someone else.

This is information and a bitch is all about information...plus, it adds spice to my conversations with my doctor.

ABB's doctor..."Where did you learn about that?"

ABB..."A video blog by Killer B.! You should blog...shit, you should video blog!"

ABB's doctor..."Lawd, have mercy."

Good times.

Anyhoo, take a look if you're interested and remember to discuss any change in your use of any medication with a trained medical professional...

A legacy of huddled masses...

A bitch is back!

Clearly my ass needed a vacation...now a bitch is feeling fired up and full of bitchitude.

Let’s jump right on in…

A bitch is sending positivitude and sincere wishes for a full recovery to Charlie Rose, who recently had heart surgery in Paris!

A note with more to follow...
A bitch was horrified to learn of the recent events at Duke. What the fuck? The allegations of rape, harassment and a climate tolerant of overt racism are beyond serious. Ancrene Wiseass (and several other bloggers) has posted on this. This bitch will keep on top of this shit and hopes that y’all will too.

A legacy of huddled masses…
A bitch has been following the recent news and political posturing on immigration here in the United States. America is often thought of as an immigrant nation, but this bitch has always bristled at that. We are too quick to overlook the fact that many Americans do not have an immigration legacy…and that too many Americans have a legacy that is bruised and battered.

A bitch’s family did not ‘immigrate’ to America. My people were kidnapped, enslaved and taken against their will to America as property. When a bitch was a wee bitch, my ass listened to the tales of immigrants and boats…of high hopes and dreams…as if it were foreign history. The history of immigration is not my history and immigration battles bring that reality into sharp relief.

When in college, a bitch roomed with a woman who is Hopi. We bonded on the lack of an immigrant history…and over the fact that America likes to sex up it’s immigrant past rather than explore the harsh reality of how immigrants have always been treated in this country. We shared the view from the outside, the fascination with tales of immigration, Ellis Island and the American Dream.

Yet this lack of an immigrant legacy does afford a bitch the benefit of an outsider perspective.

So, here we are debating immigration again. This bitch rejects the notion that anyone working in America should do so without protection and rights. A living wage and legal recourse for abuse are basic rights and we all suffer when they are tossed out the window.

America was built on the backs of exploited labor. The strong economy of the pre-Civil War South was born from slavery and the fact that wages didn’t factor in to that capitalist model. Our railroads, our farms, our docks and ports have long been served by the undocumented and the unprotected. And America learned those lessons well and has greedily exploited the undocumented for cheap labor and monetary gain.

So, when lawmakers take the stage and pretend to defend the rights of the over 12 million undocumented workers in America...when those same lawmakers then indulge in a pontification session about the role those workers play in our economy...well, a bitch hears something all too familiar. My ass hears that same tired ass song…that our economy needs an easily exploited workforce, that American thrives with an unprotected and underpaid labor class and that Americans are willing to turn a blind eye to human exploitation as long as it is dressed up in the trendy gear of the great American immigrant legacy with some ethnocentric charity tossed in for flavor.

And don’t get me wrong…a bitch isn’t indicting the multitudes who seek a better life, who risk their lives for work and wages…who aspire to that great American Dream that has been so brilliantly branded throughout the years. No, this bitch condemns the master, his adoration of the whip and it's profits and the collective willingness to view this modern day shit as something different, better or evolved.

César Chávez marched on behalf of the migrant worker and every worker in America…fighting for the rights of those who toil in our fields and put food on our overflowing tables. Lately, it seems that message has been watered down and the rally cry of decent wages, legal protection and dignity can barely be heard. What remains is the desperate call of the poor and the predictable reply of the privileged…

“Let me in! Give me hope!”

“Oh yes, we’ll let you in…sort of. Just come around to the back door and sign up for the company store first.”

So, hats off to those who took to the streets.

We have a lot of fucking work to do.

Because 'getting in’ and ‘being allowed to stay’ can never be the final goal.

Workers deserve more than the 'right' to serve our needs.

And the sad reality is that the masses remain huddled long after they cross the border...regardless of how they crossed it or how legal that crossing was.

Travel Day...

This bitch and C-Money are heading back to St. Louis.

Bitchitude shall return tomorrow!

Toodles...

And They Cook, Too...

A bitch participated in a cookbook-based fundraiser for Doctors Without Borders. My ass submitted my Corn Casserole Yumminess recipe...which is beyond yummy and easy to make.

Anyhoo, the cookbook is full of recipes from bloggers and will benefit Doctors Without Borders. This bitch had a blast visiting the blogs associated with recipes. Oh, and a bitch simply can not have too many recipe options for future feastitude!

Check it out here...

Toodles!

No, son, a shake-up looks like this...

Oh my! A bitch woke up bleary of eye and slightly hung over, only to hear that a certain Andy Card has been kicked to the curb.

Initial reaction…"Oh shit! The White House of Chief of Staff has resigned! Oh shit!"

After some thought, while searching for Sudafed in the hotel room…"Hold on and wait a motherfucking minute. Who’s going to replace Card? Yeah, hold on a fucking minute!”

In response to the announcement that Josh Bolton will slither from Budget Director over to Chief of Staff…"Mother fucker! He fucks up the budget and presides over rampant spending and massive underestimates for all manner of shit and you REWARD him with more responsibility! Asshole, that ain’t a shake-up…that’s another two-step trying to pass itself off as a waltz!"

Heaven to Earth and back again, Scooter B. is doing this all wrong! He just ended his press conference and had the audacity to look pissed off that Card is gone!

Lawd, he can't even do the blame game right.

Nice try, son, but not nearly good enough. But the week is still young, so there’s plenty of time to turn this grandstanding into a true Nixonian purge!

You keep tossing high level fuck ups on the fire and we’ll just let you know when you get it right (wink)…

More Chicago fun...

This bitch and C-Money headed out last night to check out Buddy Guy's Legends joint. The place was hopping! We inhaled catfish and assorted sides...collards, of course, were sampled and approved.

Slowly the place began to fill with an assorted crowd of the masses. C-Money finished off her sweet tea and moved on to beer. Oh, the joy of blues based anticipation!

Bryan Lee was headlining and he owned the crowd. Nasty blues music was massaged out of a new guitar by an old master.

Fantabulous!

An appearance by Buddy Guy topped the night off and C-Money followed by this bitch stumbled home with ears pleasantly buzzing and the thrill anything but gone...

Warhol, American Girl and Chicago...

A bitch and C-Money are knee deep in Chicago on The Magnificent Mile…which is rather magnificato. We relaxed last night with cocktails followed by more cocktails and a yummy meal of fantabulously rich yummerificness.

This morning, we ventured out and encountered a restaurant called West Egg…how very Gatsby…where all manner of breakfast-based food can be consumed. We gorged ourselves like the greedy tourists we are. Two thumbs up and a belch!

Then the Sisters Bitch were off to the Museum of Contemporary Art. Rumor had it that a certain Andy Warhol was being exhibited there…and that rumor proved to be true as a motherfucker. Warhol was all up in the place. A bitch, being a wee bit of a fan, dived in for a fantastical viewing of Warholian theory.

There must have been something…well, life altering about seeing Warhol’s work. See, this bitch left the Museum of Contemporary Art with new eyes. All of the sudden all manner of trend whore-based mass consumerism was brilliantly clear to me!

The Louis Vuittonization of American women…rich, poor, tall, short and all types in between sporting the entire line of Vuitton in a full-on trend-whore frenzy that made a bitch’s head spin.

Note of full disclosure – a bitch does have a Vuitton that she now resentfully can not sport for fear of being grouped in with the Kate Spadization of all things Vuitton. Shudder.

A bitch observed with shocked horror that this consumer mentality was being developed early. Hoards of young girls moved about with dolls…baby dolls that were so life-like they seemed to be freakishly frozen in time. And the chil’ren…all rosy cheeked and excited, where bedecked in the same uniformesque outfits! Pink! So much fucking pink! And their parents, riding on Prozac highs like it was 1955, ushering the hoards towards the American Girl store to…umm, further their education.

Lawd have mercy!

C-Money, being knowledgeable about all things brand related, announced that these chil’ren where not being prepared for a Maoist cultural re-education. No, no, no…this was, according to C-money, a ‘brand experience’ and the American Girl store, rather than being the cultural re-education center, is an ‘event-based brand event’ that involves tea, clothing, chants...ooops my bad, songs...and shopping.

Ahem.

This was most disturbing! The masses of women branded by Louis Vuitton…and the hoards of young girls being taught the dance of branding by that American Girl store!

Lawd, Warhol was right. Better to become a machine and feel no more emotion for the product, so that the gluttonous consumption in disregard of taste or texture doesn't sting so sharply!

Jesus!

Whew. A bitch is still emotional (wink).

Oh fuck it. From the gleam in C-Money’s eye we’re only a few months away from the ABB Special Edition Vuitton bag and the Signature American Angry Black Bitch doll.

Heavy on the Splenda in that Kool-Aid, darling.

Mayhap the doll will have a mini-'fro and a frown...

Friday Bitchitude...

Happy Friday! This bitch is too excited about my trip to Chicago. Thanks to all the folks who sent ideas of what to do and how to get there.

A quick note...
A bitch was thrilled to see so many passionate responses to yesterday's post.

Yes, everyone needs to explore the policies on the table and whether they address real needs. That isn't a party thing, but rather one of those citizen based things that people tend to avoid in the hopes that someone or some party will do that 'hard work' for them and explain it all on a piece of direct mail.

A bitch is of the opinion that the masses need to get off of our asses and stop acting like politics happens to us. Our failure to move beyond the pouty stage is unacceptable and a passive forfeiture of our rights within the political process.

Ask questions...call people out for their bullshit...call your neighbors and relatives out for their bullshit...get active...be vocal and reclaim the motherfucking system.

Assholes in office and confused party policies are not a 'get out of civic responsibility' card for any of us.

Moving forward...

A bitch heard about Dick Cheney's travel requirements or list of shit he expects when visiting someplace and it got me thinking...a bitch could use on of those BIG TIME!

ABB's Travel Requirements...a work in progress...

1. A bitch requires three boxes each of Sudafed and Claritin. She will not consume all of it at once, but is trying to stockpile meds (wink).

2. Vodka, ice and grape cran...in vast quantities, please.

3. A bitch requires TiVo...'nuff said.

4. 1% Organic milk and yummy Smartie-based munchables in bowls will be needed as well. (No one needs Smartie-based munchables in their bowels, Maven!! Lawd, a bitch needs an editor)

5. The television must be programmed to NEVER turn to FOX.

6. Please set the radio to funk music, neo-soul or jazz.

Lawd, a bitch may rethink my disdain of celebrity. These lists are fantabulous!

Going operational...

A bitch watched The Daily Show last night and was beyond pleased to see a certain Senator Russ Feingold featured via satellite!

Listening to Senator Feingold, a bitch was impressed with his humor and his reasoned position on his recent call to censure President Bush for the illegal domestic spying scheme. And my ass couldn’t help but recall the words of…well…George Will.

Yeah, a bitch said George Will.

See, this past Sunday George Will was participating in the round table discussion segment of This Week. Will said something like the following in reference to Republicans who are trying to resurrect the balanced budget amendment and the line item veto.

“These people, like the people they represent, are rhetorical conservatives and operational liberals.”

Now, a bitch took exception to the assumption that liberal=big spender (wink). However, George’s words stuck with me and came into clear focus during the Feingold Daily Show interview.

Senator Feingold has found little Democratic support for his call for censure. Many of the same Democrats that were going off on the illegality of the domestic spy program fell silent when confronted with a call for real action. This bitch thinks that a twist on George Will-ian theory may apply.

Many liberals, unlike the people they represent, are rhetorical patriots and operational cowards.

Yeah, a bitch is being optimistic...but my ass truly believes that part of the apathy among many citizens is fueled by the lack of backbone demonstrated by folks in office.

If we hope to persuade the undecided voters that Scooter B. is an unethical and unbalanced spend happy shit…if we intend to campaign on the platform that he has damaged American credibility internationally…if we hope to ring true when we shout loudly about his lack of focus, his lack of concern for the lives of average Americans, his complete willingness to support to hemorrhaging of American jobs abroad and his callous disregard for the constitution and the true American values it protects…well, we’re going to have to move that rhetoric into the operational column big time and fast as a motherfucker.

Thanks for the clarifying moment George Will!

And thanks for going operational, Senator Feingold.

Now where did we put our solidarity?

A quick response...

A certain Richard tossed out an interesting question in response to my previous post.

Does having a parent at home during the formative years have benefits?

Hmmm…

Well, that depends on the parent. Not everyone is at their best when staying at home. It also depends on the circumstances. For example, staying at home to the detriment of your family’s financial security is not wise. Oh, and it may also depend on the child and whether they may thrive in a day care situation or be better suited for a more one on one parent on child kind of thing.

Nope…no absolutes here.

And a bitch would like to elaborate on this.

Social conservatives are some wishful motherfuckers…they are also ethnocentric and culturally homogeneous in their thinking. To assume that having a parent stay at home is universally beneficial is intellectually lazy.

And doesn't society deserve a wee bit of brain-based exertion?

Anyhoo, my mother stayed at home. She was also a demented individual. Suffice it to say, a bitch didn’t get the positives out of her stay at home parenting. Shit, my ass used to pray that someone would knock her upside the head with a job and relieve her of duty.

But fuck it…she was ‘in the home’, right?

Anyhoo, it depends on the situation. A bitch has seen some stay at home parents that absolutely are making a difference. And a bitch has seen some working parents who are hitting home runs with their family units.

Richard, there are no absolute statements that apply. This bitch thinks social policy should support the variety of decisions people must make in their family’s best interest.

Toodles.

A Job Creation...umm, Replacement Plan...

A bitch has to thank a certain Nostradumass for sending a bitch this link.

This bitch is, of course, fired up and pissed beyond measure by reading some of the mental proposals being worked up by state legislators…particularly when a bitch considers the FUCKING MOUNTAIN OF REAL WORK YOU DAWDLING ASSHOLES HAVE YET TO TACKLE!

Whew.

But there was one proposal that a bitch found quite illuminating.

See, Missouri has a jobs problem. This bitch suspects that our freakishly conservative governmental interference into citizen's bedrooms, classrooms and…ummm…bodily functions may play a role. But fuck it; the end result is that Missouri is hemorrhaging jobs…which will eventually result in the hemorrhaging of people. Now, this bitch would love to see some of these motherfuckers go…go on…shoo…GO! However, substandard job growth almost always hurts the working people most and a bitch doesn’t support that.

But wait, look...over yonder hills!

Oh, thank Gawd…a conservative solution to our job crisis!

That’s right, chil’ren…the Barefoot & Pregnant strategy for job creation...ummm, replacement.

Missouri conservatives hope to change the mission of the Missouri Women’s Council to “assist and support women when making the transition from work to home” instead of working on job security and child care.

Even though that move would, in theory, encourage a certain neo-conservative social engineering without a clue Representative Cynthia Davis to step down from office and put that uterus back to work like the loyal social conservative broodmare she hopes to encourage all of us to be...well, this bitch just can’t get behind this shit.

However, my ass appreciates the detailed strategy being presented through passive aggressive legislative action. Nice try, but this bitch is gonna pass.

This seems so familiar…this call for women to return to their 'traditional roles', 'find a husband' and 'leave the work to the men'…so very familiar.

Anyhoo, this bitch looks forward to seeing Representative Davis put this plan into action personally (wink)...

This bitch plans to continue the Bitch Squad tradition and see if my ass can't support an Anti-Bullshit candidate as they transition her sorry assed embarassment to feminism self out of office.

Go forth and dawdle no more...

This bitch just adores certain words; knave, uppity and dawdling just to name a few. So, when my ass came across this shit…well, it gave me a moment of word-based glee.

It seems that some of our elected officials have had enough of dawdling on the part of Iraqi elected officials and have firmly requested that they cease and get about the business of forming their government.

And if anyone knows what dawdling looks like it's a member of Congress (wink).

Heaven to hell and back again, you’ve got to love that word usage! A bitch pictures a couple of constipated Senators wagging their gnarled fingers at the interim Prime Minister and frowning…hard.

Fantastically fantabulous!

Lawd, maybe they said something like this…

“Cease dawdling and form a government so we can get the fuck out of here before the midterm elections!”

Oh shit! Lawd, a bitch can’t fucking stand it!

Clearly it’s time to put the fear of…ummm…a harsh talkin' to into those newly elected Iraqi lawmakers.

Hell, if it works we should try that here in America.

“Congress, you need to cease dawdling…you fucking knaves! Get your uppity asses to work and deal with that Social Security solvency thang!”

Sigh. There are just so many domestic policy items a bitch could insert into that sentence.

Mayhap a bitch should run for office on an Anti-Dawdling ticket?

The Adoption Option...

The Great Spring Snow Storm of 2006 turned out to be a slush ridden disappointment for St. Louis.

Sigh.

What can you do?

Let’s just jump right on in…

The Adoption Option...
A bitch read this shit with some fascination. It seems that San Francisco’s new Archbishop has asked the local adoption arm of the Catholic Church to 'sync up' with the church when handling their adoption bitness. Basically, no more gay adoptions.

This news reads as if there has been a rush on babies in San Francisco. One would assume that the adoption services arm of the Catholic Church has gotten a wee bit lax in their adherence to church doctrine and needed a slap on the wrist.

Oh, and y'all really need to change your web site. It's totally false advertising! There should be a bigot-based disclaimer...big time. Mayhap someone should sue?

Lawd, give me strength!

The sad reality is that there are more chil’ren available for adoption than there are prospective adoptive parents…and that’s before you screen out gay and lesbians because you’re a fucking bigot.

A bitch, being a bitch, is curious. Can a Muslim couple adopt from the San Francisco Catholic adoption services? How about a Jewish couple? Pagan? Can a straight single person adopt?

Could a Protestant?

Yeah…went there with bells on (wink).

Or does this bigotry apply only to gays and lesbians?

A bitch is just curious to see how closely y'all intend to adhere to Church doctrine...as it applies to adoption.

Because there’s this oil and water thing going on here between the Church’s wish to promote adoption as an alternative to abortion and their hypocritical as a motherfucker crusade against anything GLBT related.

Of course, the current love affair Americans have with infertility treatments doesn't help matters by solving a problem medically that used to be solved adoptively.

Oh, oh, oh...and the ease with which people can adopt from overseas and/or have a private adoptions doesn't help rally the faithful to adopt domestically either.

Just saying.

So, do y’all have exceptions for Muslims, Jews, Pagans and Protestants?

That would really help you address the limited number of placement options among the faithful…

...but it would also exposes you for the hypocritical Catholic doctrine bending when it suits you pieces of shits that you are.

A Confessional...

A bitch awoke to the news that the Midwest will be welcoming spring in with a massive snow storm! Yeah. So far St. Louis has only seen a wee bit of icy rain…and it’s not as if the weather people get this shit right most of the time…but this bitch has stocked up on vodka and cran just in case!

After all, preparedness is my number one priority.

Get Ready for Autism Awareness Month…
April is Autism Awareness Month and this bitch wanted to give y’all a heads up on some shit. Mark those calendars for Missouri’s Autism Awareness Rally, which will take place in Jefferson City April 6th. More information to come.

As most of you are aware, my older brother is autistic. In the past decade, the diagnosis of autism has grown due in part to increased education and awareness.

We will solve this puzzle, chil'ren. The answers are just around the corner.

Moving forward...

A Confessional…
A bitch has to confess something.

My ass has been hoarding all manner of papers.

Sigh.

Yes, a bitch is a paper hoarder and was in full denial until C-Money requested a certain document last week. My ass went up into my lair and discovered boxes upon boxes of old bills…letters…direct mail pieces…post-it notes, for the love of Gawd…all piled into my second closet like some shameful secret.

Gawd!

Just the sight of them created an anxiety based freak-out that lasted for hours. A bitch almost broke out into hives.

Well, this just won’t do...just will not do!

A bitch will spend this week going through these papers…gulp…and…oh, Gawd…shredding shit…sob…and then…gasp…throwing shit away!

Mercy.

We’ll just take this problem one mail receiving day at a time.

And no, a bitch couldn't find the document that C-Money requested...which brought on this cruel discovery in the first fucking place.

Fuck it all...that would have been too much like right.

Casualty of war...

My ass felt compelled to post today regarding the 3rd Anniversary of the Iraq War.

A bitch is going to do a wee little exploration from the perspective of a press addict.

This bitch is not a reporter. My ass is, however, addicted to the news. Yes, a bitch uses a lot of sources to get my fix…yes, a bitch doesn’t believe everything that comes out of the mainstream press…no, you are not the only one who understands that 'truth in journalism' is relative and who can question authority.

Having said that, a bitch adores watching the news! Shit, this bitch doesn’t trust anyone who doesn’t consume some manner of news product…it’s just not natural (wink). So, when the war started this bitch was knee deep in the coverage and shocked as a motherfucker at the gleeful consumption of spin-based bullshit that was going down across the board.

During the pre-war bullshit blitz, the press was obsessed with maintaining a tone of doom and dread. Anyone who questioned the evidence was willing to put American lives at risk! And anyone who questioned the logic was un-American and practicing the art of appeasement. It is easy to forget how much the mainstream so-called liberal press fell into lock-step with the administration on this war. By the time Colin Powell testified at the United Nations, the press was tired of the fore-play and willing to get down to bitness.

And then we went to war. Eager reporters imbedded themselves among the troops, with images of Murrow Awards dancing in the heads. Shit, who can blame them! This was their big moment…a war…the kind of tragedy reporters dream of covering. But the sad reality is that war is easy to find…the appeal of this war was the guaranteed ‘big finish’. After all that fore-play…all the teasing and caressing and softly murmured promises…the press was in full rut and in need of guaranteed satisfaction.

Victory.

Everything was in place. The spin. The embellished fears of massive poisoned gas attacks that made the decision to wear a gas mask for every report less 'Geraldo Rivera' and more prudent-like. Troops were willing to be interviewed and generals were talking trash.

Shit…you were there, right? It was like watching the first hour of Patton!

Who knew we’d be watching Platoon three years later?

The press was legitimately shocked when bunkers packed to capacity with WMD weren’t located. They were dismayed when the full on bloodbath they had been led to believe would take place turned into a quick and non-orgasmic occupation. And they were disgusted when the looting began, as if western armies had perfected the art of war…as if desperate times no longer lead to desperate actions.

Month after month, a bitch observed the press searching for their nut.

And month after month, this bitch observed the uncovering of a massive scab…the puss of ineptitude, ego and ethnocentric disdain…the shame of flawed intelligence…the floundering of misplaced loyalty and trust…the sad and sorry pathetic reality of the limits of military aggression and the tragedy of learning that shit all over again.

The press slowly turned into the angry unsatisfied lover. They creatively overlooked their own eager submission to the power of spin-based seduction.

They look back and think…we were misled!

A bitch looks back and thinks…you wanted to be.

The affair between the governmental spin machine and the fourth estate has ended.

Add the press to the list of 'seriously wounded' during the Iraq War...

...rehab could take years.

By request – Bullshit in the Show Me State...

Disgusted in St. Louis requested a bitch’s thoughts on the recent move by Missouri lawmakers to not fund contraception and infertility treatments. This move will directly impact the ability of low-income families to plan their parenthood. It cuts funding on the notion that condoms and the pill 'encourage' sexual activity...and Gawd forbid people make a personal choice to get laid without being married.

This is a war on women…poor women in particular, but all women are under the gun here. Yeah…a bitch went there. Fuck it…if it walks like it and talks like it, call it what it is. So, let’s explore this move a bit.

Hell, a bitch will step up and toss my testimony down for this one!

This bitch has uterine fibroids. Fibroids are a royal pain…not cancerous, but a literal royal and complete pain. A few years back a bitch had a myomectomy, which removed most of the fuckers. But fibroids grow back. One key part of my ongoing treatment is the use of the pill, which helps slow the growth of fibroids and also keep those pesky 15 day periods from popping up.

My fibroids were painful. A bitch used to double over in cramping pain. This bitch had regular 15 day periods, was exhausted all the time and was in pain a lot. The physical ramifications were heinous…several fibroids had attached to my innards (wink) and were on track to create a blockage that would have fucked my world from hell to middle earth and back again.

So a bitch had surgery (ugh)…took some nifty hormone shots for 6 months (and you think my ass is bitchy now) and then went on the pill.

My use of the pill has nothing to do with fucking…sex…getting busy…getting my freak on…making love. My use of the pill is purely medical. My surgery was necessary, but would have been a waste of time without the ability to slow the rapid growth of those motherfuckers.

The pill is not used exclusively as a contraceptive and the expanded use of the pill should not be an option exclusvely reserved for the privately insured.

Which takes us to the reality behind this bill of bullshit. For a bitch, this bill would have meant no treatment options for my fibroids if my ass lost my healthcare coverage. They would have continued to grow, obstructed my bowels and thrown my ass into the hospital…where they would have recommended a hysterectomy because they probably don’t cover myomectomies on Medicaid...and where this bitch would have mounted up a huge medical bill fronted by Missouri instead of the proactively lower medical bill rational pill-based treatment would have created.

My uterus…my health…my fucking choice...would have been shot to hell because some complete fucktool in Jefferson City fears a wild sex orgy resulting from access to contraceptives. This is wrong, misguided, reckless and unethical. A bitch hasn’t even begun to explore the family planning ramifications resulting from this shit.


Y'all wanna throw down on this?

A bitch is ready, willing and able.

Missouri has declared war. They are saying, in their own peevish passive aggressive way, that they want poor and low-income women to be legally restricted or reap the whirlwind.

Choice?

Out the fucking window!

Public policy dictated from the pulpit?

Come on down!

So, how is this different from some cleric telling their government what policies to enact in the Middle East?

Actually...well, shit!...we're the ones self identifying as a democracy.

Mayhap it's time for some Missouri lawmakers to take a look at the aspiring fascist in the mirror...

Polls and Drama - A Dream-Based Exploration...

Happy St. Patrick's Day! A bitch plans to toss back several green vodka-based drinks a wee bit later.

A quick clarification…
Regarding the issue of parental involvement in sex education, this bitch is all for it. The problem is that even the most involved parent tends to fuck it up. This is perfectly understandable, since Americans tend to be rather repressed about sex in general and totally repressed when sex is connected to their spawn.

A bitch works with a population that is generationally challenged…not lazy, not apathetic and not assholic. Parents can only teach what they know and many of these parents are flying without a co-pilot on issues of contraception, protection and how to safely get your freak on.

Now, catch your knee before it jerks, Anonymouseseses.

This is not an issue of class or desire. What we fail to teach as pertains to sex education crosses all known social categories and all areas of intent…just like unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and exploitation.

Which brings us to the real issue on the table and a bitch is all about cutting through the bullshit. We are a society that is challenged to deal with the ramifications of unplanned pregnancy, exploitation and sexually transmitted diseases.

We have a couple of options on the table. We can say fuck it…parents need to step up...maintain the status quo on sex education, which panders to the cultural right and provides no supplement for inadequate parenting/mentoring/support…and watch the cards fall where they may, which will be on us like a ton of bricks.

Or we can embrace our social responsibility…and a healthy portion of reality as pertains to the limited educational capabilities of your average parent and the massive appeal of hot passion-based sex…and simply educate folks on the benefits of abstinence and protection...oh, and planning your fucking parenthood.

This bitch chooses the second option...the more balanced family valuesque route to me (wink).

Moving forward…

Polls and Drama - A Dream-Based Exploration...
The following is a dream-based exploration and is in no way based on actual events...unless this is all a dream and my dreams are reality and...oh fuck it....

A bitch went to sleep with thoughts of Operation Swarmer on my mind.

Deep in the bowels of the White House the party faithful gathered. In a dimly lit room they munched on salty snacks and lamented the current Presidential poll figures.

John McCain angrily kicked a chair and glared at Scooter B.

“Gawd, I hate you! All my advisors keep telling me to pander to the Republican base...so there I was at the fucking straw poll circus in Memphis pandering like a motherfucker! ‘Support the President’, ‘He was so right on everything’ and ‘Don’t vote for me vote for him to show how American you are’! Fuck! Even the base hates you. They’d rather cast their straw vote for your asshole clone, Frist!”

McCain spat on the ground and stuffed chips in his mouth.

“Jesus! How the hell did I loose the primary to you? If this keeps up we’ll have Republicans jumping parties by 2008!”

Senator Bill Frist rolled his eyes and stepped forward.

“Pass the chips, you greedy bastard, and shit the fuck up. George, the Senators are all over me on these poll numbers!” He paused and shifted uncomfortably. “Shit! Look…they want me to pat down your ass and confirm the complete lack of coattails. Christ!” He awkwardly moved forward with hands outstretched.

“You know what? Fuck this shit to hell and back!” he exclaimed. “We need a plan!”

The President (Scooter B. to this bitch) sighed heavily and cast his eyes about the room.

“Where are the fucking chips? Okay…fine…ummm, Karl! Karl?” his gaze settled on Rove, who was fingering his new charm bracelet and gazing obsessively at the picture of Senator Hills Clinton he had attached to it.

“Oh, holy shit!” Scooter B. exclaimed. “Rummy!” his attention shot to Rumsfeld, who was in the far corner folded dejectedly into a chair.

“Rummy?” Scooter B. whispered.

Rumsfeld was beyond reach, rocking slowly back and forth an mumbling incoherently…"All I know is that it won’t be like our Civil War…not like ours!…not our Civil War…not like our Civil War at all…not one bit…not like the one we fought…North and South…oh, Mother!...oh sweet heaven…not like our Civil War at all!”

Scooter B. visibly swallowed. “Shit…fine...we’ll just bomb something! It worked for Nixon! Didn’t it? Fuck it! Tell the Joint Chiefs to blow something up over there! Pronto!”

A cautious minion stepped forward…"But Master, the press will connect this to the polls! They will know that this is a wasted effort and that stability can not be reached through random bombing!”

Scooter B. stuffed more chips in his mouth and shook his head…"No, son, they won’t. Damned country is too volatile for most of those assholes to get out and see a damned thing. For all they know we’re in control!” he paused and tossed in more chips. “Yeah. Bomb Samarra and then toss in a vague domestic threat…make it against malls or…oh, I know! Make it against the NCAA Tournament! Yeah! Big Business will appreciate that…they are all bitching about the lost productivity in March! Oh, guys, it's all coming together now!”

Scooter B. jumped up and clapped his hands gleefully.

“We are so cooking with hot grease, guys!”

Frist’s gaze locked with McCain's. Softly he muttered under his breath…"We’d better start preparing for a grease fire, ‘cause this asshole's second term is officially fubar.”

Sigh.

By request, a bitch's thoughts on South Dakota...

A bitch extends a big thank you to everyone who has expressed condolences on the passing of my friend Sean. It helps to know that he is in your thoughts and prayers. This has been a rather difficult experience for me. A bitch doesn’t deal well with death and has had to deal with it far too often. But death is part of life and it is the celebration of Sean’s life that will continue in my heart.

Moving forward with fond remembrance…

By request, a bitch’s thoughts on South Dakota’s new abortion ban…
We knew it was coming and we knew that it was coming fast. Anti-choice forces have been playing this hand for years and now it looks like they have thrown their cards down…hard. The new ban in South Dakota is being challenged, which may result in the usual legal parade upward towards the Supreme Court.

Some legal scholars do not anticipate that this case will make it to the Supreme Court. People also need to keep in mind that there are several legal layers to get through before both sides meet on the field of battle. And it is important to understand that this battle does not mean that services have ended in South Dakota.

Yet, here we are…wondering, fretting and trying to come to terms with the fact that Roe is under full legal consideration…again.

A bitch finds myself exploring the ramifications. My ass knows that this exploration puts the cart in front of the horse, but it is intellectually impossible for me to avoid.

As most of you now, a bitch volunteers with teenage mothers at several local shelters. Some of these mothers chose to have their babies and some of them were simply too far along in their pregnancies to have any viable choices beyond adoption or keeping the child post birth. This illuminates the issue of ‘choice’ in Missouri and many other states within the union. Choice has not been as simple as choice for quite some time.

Freedom of choice requires freedom of information. The anti-choice movement has steadily been restricting access to reproductive information for years. Most of my current disgust at the advocates of anti-choice policies stems from that fact.

See, a bitch would like abortion to be rare as a motherfucker. Safe is followed by legal, which is followed by rare. My ass is one of millions of Americans who works diligently to educate my community…both men and women…on the various choices they have and options available that will assist in lowering the number of unplanned pregnancies. And a bitch averages at least 5 women per 6 month class session who have no fucking idea how their reproductive system works, what the real health risks and advantages are associated to contraception and what family planning is.

An average of 5 women…usually out of a total of 10 to 15…have to be educated about their reproductive cycle, how sex may result in pregnancy, what contraceptive methods are available to them and/or how to choose the best method. And Average of 5 women per class cycle relate misinformation about contraception…feel that using the pill may make them unable to have a baby in the future…believe that the pill may protect them against sexually transmitted diseases…feel that it is inappropriate to ask their sexual partner to use a condom because it ‘assumes that they are sick’…strongly believe that they can not contract a sexually transmitted disease from oral sex…think the withdrawal method works...think that you can ‘tell by looking at someone’ if they have a sexually transmitted disease…and do not feel that they need to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases until they are pregnant because they ‘feel fine’.

A bitch has met the victims of rape, incest and exploitation who believed that they could douche the problem away. A bitch has listened to women who have three or four chil’ren but ‘aren’t sure if they have ever had an orgasm’ and ‘did it because they needed to keep their man’.

One current student engaged in over 60 unprotected sexual encounters in an effort to ‘get rid of those sinful feelings for women’ and sincerely hopes that her child ‘helps her not be a dyke anymore’.

And it goes on and on.

The sad reality is that anti-choice advocates are creating more unplanned pregnancies through their ignorance is bliss policies…and those of us in the trenches are shoveling in a downpour. A bitch struggles to understand the logic and finds that there is none.

Any group that wants to decrease the number of unplanned pregnancies in America needs to start with comprehensive education. Abstinence…yes! And…oh, and that ‘and’ is one massive motherfucking word…comprehensive sex education so that each individual is armed with the facts, the options and the tools to make an educated decision about their life and their body.

But comprehensive sex education does not…will not…eliminate rape or incest. Comprehensive sex education will not eliminate exploitation or abuse.

The morning after pill will not eliminate the fact that many women do not seek medical care or go to the authorities after an assault...that unplanned pregnancy will still happen...that people will get busy regardless of the ramifications.

And abstinence education will not eliminate unplanned pregnancies…the fact that society has no viable mechanism for dealing with them post Roe…the fact that parenting skills do not automatically kick in when a person has a baby…the fact that our foster care system is overwhelmed, adoptions have been replaced by infertility treatments, babies are still tossed into dumpsters like trash…and America prefers to debate abortion rather than our failure as a society to truly protect life, ensure liberty and clear the fucking wreckage blocking the pursuit of happiness.

Abortion is not the only thing on the table…again. The drama resulting from decade’s worth of failed social policy is on the table too.

Oh, and lives…they are on the table…and the instrument of law is being prepared to do damage come hell or high-water.

A bitch does not fear a debate…my ass just wishes we were debating the shit really on the table.

This bitch sees this as the real Mommy War, chil’ren. And my ass harbors no confusion over who stands to benefit.

And the angels sang...

It saddens me to report that Sean, who was originally from Minneapolis, went on to his sweet reward this morning after a long battle with AIDS.

Sean began e-mailing me several months ago and he became one of those e-mail friends that you think you have known forever.

He told me once that he prayed for peace. So, if you are so inclined, offer one up in his memory.

He will be missed and remembered fondly by many.

Until we meet again, dear friend....

Some thoughts on the retirement of Mike Wallace...

Mike Wallace is retiring from 60 Minutes after 375 years as a journalist. Okay, maybe not that many years, but Mike is ancient as a motherfucker.

A bitch greeted this news with a sigh of relief…my ass will soon not have to fear Mike Wallace materializing on my porch with a camera and crew talking about ‘why won’t you go on the record!'…and sadness.

Mike Wallace has come a long way from the days of The Hate that Hate Produced. His legacy will overcome the complete imploded fucktitude of the CBS 60 Minutes Big Tobacco non-coverage…should we cover it?..but we tapped it!..no, we’ll get sued!..oh fuck it, but now we look like a bunch of assholes…scandal.

His is the legacy of a reporter and the stories that he reported.

Who could ask for more?

Go forth and golf, Mike Wallace...

Pots trash talking kettles...

Okay, so this bitch had a serious giggle this morning.

Matt Lauer of the Today Show was in typical uptight form. He said something about the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony and the Sex Pistols and how they sent a letter of extreme bitchitude in response to being inducted...and how that was 'weird'.

Weird?

He was talking about the Sex Pistols, right?

What an asshole!

Anyhoo, this bitch had a quick mental picture of Johnny Rotten materializing on set and Matt pissing himself in horror.

Color me 'weird', but it made a bitch giggle.

Moving forward…

The pot talking trash about that kettle again…
For several years America has been caught up in a culture war. The major problem is that people, regardless of where they stand, have been insisting that everyone do as they do…which isn’t very American.

This bitch wishes everyone would just shut the fuck up, go do as they want to do and stop trying to dominate others.

Which brings us to the word dominate…and the pot talking trash about that kettle again.

A certain asshole is being an asshole again. And a bitch isn't holding my breath in hopes that Senator Frist will admonish him for damaging our international reputation and emboldening our enemies. That would be too much like right, chil'ren.

Pat Robertson is calling Muslims ‘crazed fanatics’ who are ‘planning world domination’ and may be ‘inspired by demonic power’. Now, this is another example of that pot talking crazy assed trash about the kettle being black. But a bitch sees something more in that 'inspired by demonic power' statement...something revealing.

The diagnosis?

Pat Robertson is himself possessed by a demon!

Think about it...this explains everything.

The evidence...
Pat Robertson is so clearly possessed by some sort of fiendish devilesque thing, chil’ren...a bitch can't believe my ass missed it. His eyes are red, glow in the dark and he now speaks crazy talk in reverse like a chant. He’s like that child in The Exorcist…rotting from within…slowly becoming a foul smelling green vomit spewing nastified mound of flesh!

Mercy.

Lawd, a bitch can smell him all the way in Missouri!

ABB's moment of clarity...
Oh wait…that’s just our ancient sewer system acting up again. Stank nasty, but not demonic.

Never mind.

In conclusion...
Robertson? He’s just that pot talking trash about how that kettle is doing what he has wet dreams about doing every night.

Demon?

No.

Asshole?

Oh yes...the very definition.

J'accuse...for what it's worth...

This bitch was watching This Week on Sunday and heard Senator Russ Feingold call for a censure of President Bush over the illegal domestic spying case.

Russ made a strong case, but a bitch was more interested in the current 2008 GOP frontrunner, Senator Frist, and what he had to say in reaction. Billy…we’re not close, but a bitch plans to get to know him way better now that he’s decided to make a run for it (wink) …seems to think that the enemies of America would be emboldened by Senator Feingold’s call for censure.

A bitch has always been confused by this way of thinking.

If Iraq thinks that we are full of shit, calling out of the President for being a crook may make them feel validated. But they probably won’t grow to dig America’s chili simply because we ‘show a united front’ and ‘stand behind the President’.

When this bitch feels that someone is full of shit it’s nice to hear that someone else does too…nice, but not at all necessary. And anyone else who adores that shit monger is assumed to be full of shit too.

What Billy Frist and his conservative homeboys are missing is the positive spin we can put on this censure in the Middle East!

See, the last decade of American politics has been confusing as a motherfucker. The recounts, election fraud, willingness of elected officials to lie to the public and corruption scandals fly in the face of our current democracy marketing campaign. Advertising may get folks into the store, but a shitty product will have them turning right around and cursing your name on top of it.

But now we all have a chance to demonstrate democracy in action. Yeah! Imagine the print story y’all could plant in the Iraqi newspapers covering this shit…

Today President Bush was censured for willfully ignoring the law of the land and authorizing the illegal wire-taping of American citizens without a warrant or legal review. In America, the citizens have rights and those rights are upheld by the law of the land. No one citizen is above the law of the land…including their President. Congress writes the laws and censured the President for violating his oath of office and his responsibility to preserve and protect the Constitution of the United States of America. This is a demonstration of democracy honoring no elected titles and checks & balances in action!

Oh my, this is a huge opportunity for a wee little international lesson in American civics!

Talk about shock and awe (wink).

But this resolution has about as much a chance of resulting in a censure as Operation Iraqi Freedom had of resulting in a democratized Middle East.

The myth of the black student who stole your spot at Yale...

This bitch had a fantabulous day off! The sun was shining, the birds were singing and my phone wasn’t ringing…fantabulous indeed.

Thank you to my international readers for your concern over a bitch’s safety. Yes, Missouri has been hit with some serious storms. This is the Midwest and we tend to have dramatic spring weather. Sadly, some lives have been lost. But rest assured that a bitch was blessed and did not face the full fury of nature here in St. Louis. We Midwesterners kind of take it all in stride…we cut our teeth on Tornados and floods ‘round here. But a bitch is touched that y’all care.

No, a bitch was not at O’Connell’s Pub recently! But they do have yummy food. Mayhap a bitch will swing on by and get my St. Patrick's Day on. Anyhoo, whoever is out there looking like a bitch needs to cease…unless you’re fine as hell, which only helps my brand image.

On to bitchitude!

The myth of the black student who stole your spot at Yale...
A certain Anonymous requested this bitch’s opinion regarding minority preferences. Specifically, Anonymous said…

“I heard a white former South African once say: "I was born and raised in Africa, I am an African. So when I become an American, am I not an African American?"..."Then why can I not get minority entrance points for college?"..."Am I not discriminated against?"...Since Black Africans won that conflict, maybe you would like to comment? From an historical perspective of course.”

Well, a bitch only took one South African history course and that was years ago...but black South Africans having 'won' a conflict in South Africa doesn't have a damned thing to do with a white South African getting minority entrance points here in America...speaking from a historical perspective.

Having said that, a white South African who immigrates to America and feels that he is an African American can rock that identity all he wants to. Lawd knows checking African American on forms is beyond beneficial, sure as shit gets your foot in the front door and is the reason why so many top positions are held by African Americans.

Ummm...that's what my people call bullshit (wink).

Which brings a bitch to the underlying assumption that affirmative action is the reason some students don’t get to go to State.

That's what we're talking about, right? The fear of a black person taking 'your' spot at Yale?

A bitch was pretty fucking pissed off when my ass showed up at a certain liberal arts college (no, not Yale...shudder and perish the thought) and realized that my ass had out tested most of the sorry assed motherfuckers raising hell about affirmative action.

Shit.

A bitch isn't trying to say my ass is wicked smart...shit, this bitch can't spell for shit...but my ass just wishes some of the assholes bitching about not getting in would look in the mirror and have a come to Jesus with their own ass about their GPA and those sorry assed SAT scores that really got them circular filed.

A bitch only got more pissed when my ass realized that some of the dumbest motherfuckers at school…and my ass means dumb…were legacies.

See, the dude who may have taken your spot at Yale is most likely not the brown and black students who make up less that 10% of the student body. He's that legacy admit...you know, Carter Silverspoon from Choate?... yeah, him and his forever unimpressive non-intellectual ass. College ain’t a meritocracy, but that fact is better explored through a conversation with the heir to your right and not the black chick to your left.

My father went to college on the G. I. Bill and he went to grad school through an affirmative action program. He worked his ass off, was not academically prepared and struggled to get through. But he did it and he never let his chil'ren forget that struggle was mixed in with the blessing of an education. His daughters reaped the benefits of his efforts, attended strong public schools and had a much easier road to college as a result.

Sometimes affirmative action works.

Which brings us to this word 'fair'. Fair does not apply to college admissions. Most universities apply tons of qualifications and they don’t exactly do it fairly.

My alma mater would have been majority Asian and international if 'fair' applied to college admissions.

Colleges seek to have a diverse population because diversity enriches the educational experience. International students, rural students, rich students, black students and so on add to the college experience. The problem comes when some students apply a sense of entitlement to college admissions…they then latch on to the most offensive 'got into school' practice and proceed to show their natural ass on Dateline by bitching about why they didn’t get in and claiming that Keisha or Coretta or Michael took their spot.

A healthier…dare a bitch say, more fair…rant would start with the legacies who took up 20% of the freshman class. Then you could move on down to the 50% of hyper-qualified students who didn’t get accepted because said school had ‘reached’ a certain quota…then mosey on over to the 'daddy paid for this building' admissions…oh, and the 'our sports program is a revenue generator', but don’t hold your breath on that academic scholarship admissions. The road is long and muddy as a motherfucker before you even get to the 10% that may or may not have been admitted with some racial preference...not that many are bothered by the 'may', because a bitch wishes my ass had a dollar for every ignorant assumed affirmative action comment my ass heard while 'getting schooled'.

Yeah.

What was the original question? Oh, can a former white South African now white African American get special treatment when applying to college?

Sure, as long as an AngryBlackBitch can get my reparations paid in South African gold...honey.

Cruel...

Oh shit! Hide your chil’ren and lock your doors, because a bitch has a day off of work, the sun is shining and it’s Friday!

Yes!

Sadly, this bitch has to take care of some personal bitness today. But at least my ass can be a lazy shit while doing it (wink)!

In the never ending interest of clarity, a bitch is compelled to respond to a certain Anonymous comment to yesterday's post on the Alabama arsonists.

This bitch isn’t in the business of comparing one crime to another, Anonymous. My ass was comparing the coverage of the crimes based on the status of the investigations and not the atrocity meter.

See, in a bitch’s world the media would provide this long forgotten thing called perspective...maybe some facts too...and inform the public rather than inflame them or create a false sense of conclusion-based safety when nothing has been concluded or resolved.

Color my ass delusional, but this bitch doesn't think the public is served by journalists over-reporting speculation and failing to follow-up on that which they have previously speculated about.

That, my dear Anonymous friend, is a discussion of the media coverage and not a comparison of a brutal rape and murder to a series of arsons.

Moving forward…

Cruel…
A bitch is on record regarding the Iraq War. The war is wrong, the foundation for going to war was false and we have rubbed salt in an open wound by proceeding to execute this flawed shit poorly. Having said that, a bitch is concerned that we are about to pour more salt in Iraq and that more innocent lives will be lost in the process.

This bitch is not a military theorist…thank Gawd. My ass is a lifelong student of history and the history of The Man leaping in to take shit over, suck the lifeblood out of a region/country/colony and then leave in a blur only to look back of his shoulder in false shock when chaos breaks out is lengthy and disturbing.

Which brings us to Iraq. Over the past several months there have been calls for America to leave…to withdraw our forces and let Iraqis handle Iraq. A bitch understands these calls come from a place of compassion. Those of us who opposed the war are horrified by the death, destruction, fear and general drama. The need to just back off and apologize for the next 100 years is overwhelming.

Yet even as history shows us that backing off might not be the way to go we are faced with the reality that we're most likely not the folks to fix this shit. It’s like taking a rabid dawg to your neighbor's birthday party, watching it go crazy for two hours and then abruptly leaving while shouting ‘sorry!’ as you rush out the door. The regret is legitimate, but you might want to take that rabid dawg with you. Oh, and help clean up the mess, pay for the medical bills and counseling and so forth. But maybe your neighbor doesn't want to look at your face for...well, ever again?

Y’all feel me?

So, when a bitch and C-Money heard this on the news this morning…heard Rummy mouth off about any civil war resulting from our botched attempt at nation building being an ‘Iraqi’ problem for ‘Iraqis’ to deal with we were dismayed.

C-Money said it best...that doing so would be cruel.

But what the hell else can we do?

The problem is that we aren’t the nation to make it all better now. Creating chaos and not having the skills to deal with it sucks. Yet, we're we are and our options are limited. If we stay we will be fueling resistance to any Iraqi government…plus, people don’t want us there. If we leave abruptly, we will have destabilized Iraq, amplified cultural division, allowed Al Qaeda to move in where they never were before and thrust a system upon a people against their expressed will and in no way for their benefit as citizens. And the very people who couldn’t come up with a plan for war are now charged with coming up with a plan for peaceful withdrawal.

A bitch is beyond concerned.

My ass thinks about Vietnam…and what happened after America called fubar and then jumped ship. So many promises, such poor execution, so many lives lost, so much pain and suffering…and then we up and left. And Vietnam was left to clean up the mess, bury the dead and rebuild alone.

Perhaps that is war...those left behind must pick up the pieces.

And perhaps this question is not for a bitch to ask. Maybe we should do the unthinkable and ask the people of Iraq what the hell they want us to do?

Do they want us to just leave, to leave and take that rabid dawg with us...or stay and help pick up some of the mess...and then get rid of the rabid dawg after explaining that we now know better than to take one to a party?

And where the hell is Super Man when you need the earth circle backwards, for time to turn back and make this never have happened?

Shit.

My Grandmother was right...some messes you avoid 'cause you have no fucking idea how to get the stain out.

Just jokes...

This bitch has had enough of the rain…ENOUGH! Slipping and sliding while out and about is bad for my nerves.

Now, a bitch has some shit to say.

Just jokes…
What the fuck? Every now and then a story will hit the media and remind a bitch what privilege is. The announcement yesterday that three men were arrested in connection to the recent rash of church fires in Alabama is one such story.

But wait, a bitch is striving for accuracy. Three young, very young to the point of being boys, and in college with their future in front of them, white...or was that non-ethnic...Christian college attending, poor judgment using innocents were arrested for burning churches in Alabama.

Someone help me, now!

CNN got dizzy as a motherfucker last night; they were spinning this bullshit so fast. The men…ummmm, kids….er, oh…ummm, young and in over their head youths…simply did it as a joke, got in over their heads, have been written about in the school paper in regards to their theatre aspirations and didn’t mean for things to get out of control. They are ‘good guys’ and ‘never gave anyone any trouble’ with ‘strong academic careers’ and ‘bright futures!

Well, shit…shoot them past jail straight to parole!

Shucks.

What the fuck are these people seeing, because is sure as hell isn’t reality?

Cease reading off the alleged arsonist’s resumes as if they matter…as if America should simply shrug and grin over this shit…as if their backgrounds absolve them.

Let a bitch be clear…their background, education and apparent stable home life indicts them.

And yet behold, chil'ren, more bullshit on display!

The Today Show lead with the allegations being made against a club bouncer in the recent NYC slaying case…a black man under investigation in the brutal and sadistic killing of a young college student. Yet no lead-in mention was made of these suspected arsonists, who are actually in custody and being charged in connection to a fucking spree.

It must be nice…not having arson and your name mentioned in the same sentence even after you've been hauled into jail. Must be soothing to have anchors chuckle, to have your classmates look perplexed and not horrified, to have your community viewed with compassion and not resentment...even after your ass has been hauled into jail.

Were the hell were the cameras? What, no mug shot? How about a nice 20 minute video segment of their moms at 3 o'clock in the morning looking tore the fuck up?

And a bitch would have liked an aerial copter shot of their neighborhood with SWAT looming behind some faux concrete wall erected on a carefully kept lawn down the block.

Guess that just didn't seem fitting for this story, huh?

Fuck it...they were just joking...

Chastised...

A bitch has been chastised by several members of the United Church of Bitchitude and Later Day Drunks!

C-Money called my as politically correct…and Brother Rob told me to reference the Merriam-Webster dictionary, because 'heathen' has more than one definition. Then Canadian Rob left a comment regarding the ‘heathen’ topic too!

This bitch has failed to address one of our commandments…thou shall not trifle nor shall thou be trifled with!

Apparently, ‘heathen’ has dual more than one meaning (gasp). Some of us use the word to point out bad assed chil’ren who haven’t been raised…otherwise know as chil’ren without home training…and that word use in no way is stating that those bad assed un-raised chil’ren are bad asses because they need to ‘get right with Gawd’. What they need is some fucking parenting….

*muttering* "...sitting outside my house ‘til all hours of the might with the radio on loud as a motherfucker and screaming just to hear the sound of their voice then roaming back to their no-home training containing houses after leaving trash all over my motherfucking lawn ‘cause they ain’t been raised. "

Fuck it…where a bitch comes from that’s a heathen and religion doesn’t have shit to do with it. As a matter of fact, my Grandmère used ‘Gawdless heathen’ when specifically referring to someone she thought was a bad ass in need of some religion.

Hmmm…mayhap a bitch spoke too soon?

And what shall my penance be?

This bitch just adores correction (wink)!

Smarties...the ABB taste test...

A bitch neglected to follow-up on my experiment in international chocolate-based relations!

Forgive me...blame it on the chocolate.

Margaret of Germany was kind enough to send a bitch a gift of chocolate-based yumminess…and she doesn’t even like Smarties (gasp). Now, a bitch already had some Smartie goodness from a certain Jeremy in Montreal....not much, but some survived my feasting.

Clearly a bitch was going to have to have a taste test.

A portion of Canadian Smarties were set aside and an equal portion of German Smarties were set to the other side. C-Money had already consumed my Chocolate Heart of Smartie love...which was Canadian and, from all reports, yummy.

Taking care to indulge in several sips of vodka cran before switching between the two, this bitch was able to detect a slight difference.

Germany Smarties are slightly more milk chocolate-like. Canadian Smarties have more of a chocolate aftertaste.

Or maybe that was the vodka.

Anyhoo…both are yummy! A bitch is taking some to my voter education class tonight as the prize for answering the most quiz questions correctly.

Off a bitch goes...motivating new voters, one international Smarties filled box at a time…

Words and such...

A certain Gatsby’s Ghost was kind enough to assist me with my word replacement situation. As my ass mentioned earlier, this bitch was called out sharply regarding my use of the word ‘heathen’. Since a bitch didn’t intend to say what my ass was saying when using 'heathen'…well, a new word needed to be found!

As luck would have it, Gatsby’s Ghost was on hand…and he just happens to be a master of language.

Fantabulous!

ABB to Gatsby’s Chost…"Shit. My ass was called out regarding 'heathen'!"

Gatsby’s Ghost to ABB…"Yes, I read that."

ABB in a full snit…"Give me a word that doesn’t have a religious superiority/anti-Pagan slant that describes bad assed chil’ren who haven’t been raised…PLEASE!"

After a brief pause, the magnificent Gatsby of Gatsby’s Ghost produced…

BACwhoHBR

Fantastically fantabulous!

The man is a genius.

Genius!

Moving forward with drama solved …

It’s raining in St. Louis. Raining, cool and sullen….makes a bitch long for my couch and my flannel.

Last night a bitch spent a lovely 2 hours reading through the current issue of Harvard Magazine. No, a bitch is not a Harvard grad…but my ass spent enough time grazing through the plentiful bounty of those dining halls to get an honorable mention at least (wink).

Anyhoo, Harvard Magazine can be a pretentious bore of a read, but a bitch enjoyed the hell out of this issue. Particularly the personals, which were a joy. Page after glossy page was filled with well crafted descriptions of…well, mostly women who were almost always ‘slim’, love to travel (Lawd, the Berkshires must be overflowing with Boomer aged slender women), adore New Yorker cartoons and are shy. The shy bit puzzled me, but C-Money explained that ‘shy’ was most likely a code word for ‘not heinous looking, but not exactly a socially aggressive person and thus the personal ad’.

Fascinating reading! Anyway, a bitch wishes them all well and sincerely hopes that Midge from Darien finds that very special someone…with that certain annual income…and that certain social resume complete with those multiple degrees draped in Ivy…and well worn passport…oh, and subscription to The New Yorker…to explore Italy with.

Dream that dream, sister.

Dream it!

Point taken...

A certain Neo Cleo took issue with a bitch's use of the word 'heathen' to describe bad assed misbehaving chil'ren. A bitch should point out that my use of the word 'heathen' was in no way meant to disparage those who are Pagan...and yet it did, because of the origins and definition of the word.

Well, shit. We can't have that.

Sigh.

Thank you for calling a bitch out Neo Cleo.

After all, we of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks are all about accuracy.

A quick clarification...

A certain Anonymous comment demands a clarification! Anonymous pointed out that there is a flawed assumption that volunteering in the community means volunteering with the poor…and there is also the assumption that only poor household go to shit….and she or he seems to think European public schools have their shit together.

First, a bitch needs to clarify that mentoring is needed in all manner of households. One need only look at the recent rash of suburban homeless beatings, random incidents of baseball bat based heathen behavior in Olivette and huge drug problems (come on, why the hell else are y’all testing all those prepped out boys?) at certain St. Louis area private schools to know that drama does not discriminate on the basis of income.

Mayhap Big Brothers Big Sisters should open up a special West County branch?

Second, on the issue of folks not having enough time to volunteer…well, that is bullshit. Sorry! Relief work and community volunteering are not the same thing. Some people are confusing not having time with having fucked up priorities and generally not giving a shit until the problem manifests itself in their living room in the form of Mitzi or Hunter’s massive and expensive meltdown at 15 or 16.

Amazing how that schedule gets clear as a motherfucker when shit hits home, huh?

And in my previous post a bitch was speaking specifically about those conservative bullshit mongers who pontificate about chil’ren, society and family-values then turn around and flee to the well guarded bastions of white flight, quietly schedule their daughter’s abortion over Spring break because it's a 'mistake' when it happens to Mitzi and vocally vote for anti-family, working people hating and small dog kicking politicians while riding a wave of sanctified marriage based bullshit that barely hides the tax cut for the rich that is the only true motivation for getting their greedy, money hungry, hypocritical asses to the polls.

Just follow the W’04 stickers home for a good hard sniff if you’re unfamiliar with the pungent odor.

As to European schools…well, a bitch can’t speak to them. This bitch attended public school right here in the great state of Missouri! Yes, a bitch did flee…but that was more a family issue and not a problem with my education. We used to handle our shit better and we were not mirroring the European system back in the day…though a bitch is rather fond of those cute little uniforms with the shorts and the school boy hats (wink).

But fuck it…a bitch is willing to look at anything to get education back on track, my ass just thinks a strong analysis of past American successes should be lumped in with those adoring gazes being thrown across the pond.

Okay...clarification done...toodles until tomorrow!

Pondering bullshit...

A bitch was thrilled to read that a certain Bitch PhD is willing to have my babies! Behold the power of sisterhood (wink).

And thank you to all those parents out there working hard to raise non-heathens with strong minds and tons of bitchitude.

Jumping in without a pause...

Pondering bullshit…
A bitch has been thinking about parenting a lot lately. The lack of parenting within my mentee's life, the horrible parenting behavior demonstrated by some of the parents of the young women at the women’s shelters my ass volunteers at and the parenting nightmares that litter the news.

Clearly there are some great parents out there or the world would be complete shit. My favorite parent of the moment is my newest mentee (a bitch now has 3 from various sources)...the young woman my ass wrote about not long ago. She is so present in her parenting and it shows in her relationship with her child. She shared with me that she would love to unschool her child, but she is working two jobs and going to school full time…it may not be possible. Anyway, it was a joy to see that the bond was so strong between this mother and child.

Everyone should not be a parent. Society needs to embrace this fact, know it and start fucking acting on it. Anyone who volunteers within their community will be confronted by this fact and the limits we have to address it. Foster care is a wonderful thing when it is a wonderful thing…and a fucking nightmare when it isn’t. And a bitch is beyond exhausted with the lack of follow through from the anti-choicers on parenting…you know, that life that they could give a flying shit about once it pops out of the oven.

And a bitch wants to be clear. This bitch is a family planning obsessed bitch. Contrary to popular belief, we pro-choice advocates do not sit around a camp fire dreaming up ways to increase the numbers of abortions in America. We do strategize about protecting every American's ability to make medical decisions with their doctor. We are working to protect a woman’s right to choose…if to get pregnant, when to get pregnant, how to one gets pregnant and what to do once she is pregnant. Every fucking one of those points is on the table…don’t sleep on that and don’t hesitate…every motherfucking one of them is being challenged.

Having said that, a bitch is proud to work within the community to educate women on their bodies, their rights and their responsibilities. And a bitch is fascinated that so many anti-choice folks aren’t jumping to get involved in the harvesting of their labor.

Yeah...a bitch went there.

Fuck it. My ass visits a shelter each week that has a waiting list of 200+ women with chil'ren. The fields are bursting and it looks to me like most family-valuesque Missourians are comfortable watching the fruit of their labor rot.

Anyhoo.

This bitch has a confession to make…my ass volunteers at two St. Louis shelters and both of them are religiously affiliated. This bitch has distanced myself somewhat from one of the shelters because of their stance on family planning, but my ass does conduct voter education classes there. And the monthly debates with the good sisters are kind of fun…a bitch has to be honest (wink). The other shelter is more open regarding family planning classes as long as we stress abstinence while providing education on options for safer sexual activity. And a bitch is fine with that.

What this bitch isn’t fine with is the lack of the faithful's participation within these organizations. Where the fuck are they? Why aren’t multitudes of sanctified folks volunteering an hour a week to teach these mothers about parenting…to give them advice on how to handle the stress and worry…to share the joys of watching their children discover the world around them? When it comes to parenting a bitch is at a loss. My ass has never been a parent and sometimes a bitch feels hopeless in the face of some of the concerns brought to me.

My first year volunteering my ass asked the director about parenting classes.

“Do you have volunteers come in and teach parenting skills?”

“Oh, we try to, but we have a hard time finding babysitters to watch the chil’ren while the mothers are in class. Parents as Teachers comes in, but we'd love a one-to-one mentoring program. We are always looking for volunteers in that area.”

Surely mentoring a mother at a faith based shelter would be right up an Evangelical's alley!

Nope.

But you can find them on righteous parade outside of Planned Parenthood! Oh, and they can spend hours at church praying for the immortal souls of the very people they lack the courage to meet face to face.

Observe, my brothers and sisters, bullshit on display.

Mayhap we should utilize this abundant resource to kick that oil habit?

By request...The Mommy Wars...

This bitch caught the Oscars last night. Jon Stewart was nervous as a motherfucker, but this bitch thinks he held his own with a rather serious crowd. Congrats to the winners and all that jazz.

The best moment for me was getting to see the fantabulous Lauren Bacall. A bitch simply adores Betty! Her voice is a scandal…washes over you like a cold shower on a hot day.

Sigh.

Fantabulous!

2 cups coffee with Splenda and 1% organic milk yumminess, 2 Excedrin, 1 Claritin and cigs…

A bitch is attempting to kick my Sudafed habit. The Man is determined to outlaw my decongestant of choice and this bitch might as well begin the physical adjustment. Lawd, my sinuses are in full rebellion!

By request…The Mommy Wars…
A certain Ann from Detroit has requested a bitch’s thoughts on the Mommy Wars. Okay…you asked for it…

ABB is a single no child having bitch…just thought my ass would clarify the perspective up front.

A bitch hangs with the broke masses and really doesn’t know very many people who can even entertain the notion of staying at home. My mother was the only one of my many aunts to be a stay at home parent…and, for the record, she was a fucking mess and not a good representation of the genre. So, a bitch has never connected 'staying at home' with providing better parenting. My ass thinks it would be healthier to approach this issue on a case by case basis. If a person can stay at home…and if staying at home is in the best interest of the chil’ren…then go with Gawd, stay at home and a bitch thanks you in advance for not raising a heathen.

If you can’t afford to stay at home or are a single parent, then you are making the same decision. Providing for your family is in their best interest. Stop freaking the fuck out, be thankful to be in a position to even take that task on and go with Gawd. A bitch is, once again, thankful that someone is attempting to rear a non-heathen.

If you are in a coupled situation with chil’ren and want to work…work, for the love of all that is holy! Be happy and fulfilled and you will demonstrate to your chil’ren that adults should aspire to be happy and fulfilled. Stop living a life by comparison and remember that people lie. You have no idea if Becky’s kids are really stable, do you? They could be complete heathens! Shit, for all you know Becky has to stay home because her chil’ren require…well, a lot of supervision if you know what a bitch means. Exhale, release and get about the business of living.

If you are in a coupled situation and want to stay at home…then do it! Jesus, do you need a motherfucking cookie to go and do what the hell you want to do? No? A bitch didn't think so! A bitch is happy as long as people don’t unleash 18 year old heathens on the world. How you accomplish that is beyond me.

If this parenting debate produced a better product…err, child (wink)…a bitch would be thrilled. But all it seems to produce are bitter assed people trying to win a debate on the superiority of apples to oranges.

Much of this boils down to society's concept of what women want. This latest Mommy War has erupted due to the increased numbers of women who are leaving their careers to become stay at home parents, right? This bitch is just young enough to fear the repercussions…the knowing glances that seem to say 'you may talk about wanting advancement, but that’s just because your hormones haven’t kicked in’.

Lawd knows the last thing women need is The Man being able to quote a fucking statistic to justify keeping his boot on our necks.

And there it is…the brick wall. The actions of others being used to justify the limitations put on us all.

And a bitch can’t stop thinking that this shit begins and ends with The Man.

Some say the real debate is over whether women are making an 'informed choice' or simply succumbing to societal pressure. But a bitch can’t help but find that sort of logic insulting…just as my ass finds the resurrection of the Mommy Wars extremely alarming.

So, is this Mommy War to be fought on multiple fronts until women litter the battlefield? And who benefits from that?

Lawd, a bitch is getting all JFK on this shit!

But really...

...who does benefit from this Mommy War?

Sunday bitchitude...

Blogger lost its motherfucking mind on Friday! Sorry for the lack of bitchitude.

This bitch is too excited about visiting Chicago. A certain Todd and ProfessorGQ call Chicago home and a bitch expects all manner of advice on who, what, where and when! A gathering may be in the works...and a bitch will bring my new favorite fashion accessory, a framed signed picture of Anderson Cooper, up to visit too (wink to Todd).

Let’s just jump right the hell on in…

You have officially lost your minds...
Just when a bitch thought the state of Missouri was done embarrassing the living shit out of me…the inmates otherwise known as our elected officials pull this kind of shit.

Yes, Missouri lawmakers found time in their busy day of oppressing women and denying chil'ren an education to propose a law that would basically make Christianity the official state religion.

It was too much to ask that this shit would fly under the radar of the national press...uh huh, too fucking much to ask!

Now, a bitch read the news that certain totally insane lawmakers want to make Christianity the official state religion of Missouri with some amusement. This bitch finds the notion of the multitudes that make up "Christianity" getting along during this power struggle rather optimistic…naïve as a motherfucker…and flawed beyond all possible understanding.

The officially fucked up resolution has some sort of wording that officially recognizes a “Christian God”…which is confusing, because a bitch always thought there was one Devine One rather than a different one for each faith. Or did they not mean to say it like that? Assholes.

This shit really got a bitch thinking.

When they say "Christian" what do they mean? Because a bitch has experienced all manner of Christian faiths and they are…well…very different in practice. This bitch was raised a Baptist, but not a Southern Baptist so it was cool to get your drink on and dance. There are Lutherans, Methodists, African Methodist Episcopal, Pentecostal, Presbyterians, Quakers and so forth and so on. And that’s not including the Catholics, who kicked all the Protestants into gear in the first place.

So…which Christian won this undercover state religion lottery?
And catch that knee before it jerks, Anonymous. History shows that Christians are great against a united enemy, but open up the door to some possible dominance and the in-fighting is enough to make Jesus weep.

After pondering that shit for a spell it dawned on me that this state religion shit may explain some earlier legislative hypocrisy. No wonder the motherfuckers in power didn’t move to outlaw divorce once they sanctified through the state the glorious divinity of man on woman marriage in Missouri! Well shit…they had a plan. First they moved to protect sanctified marriage from a non-existent enemy…then to make Christianity the state religion…and then they just have to be planning to outlaw fucking around, being a general asshole, being an abusive asshole and ending a marriage for any reason at all.

But wait! A bitch is confused. How can marriage be defined as being between a man and a woman if Christianity isn’t already the official state religion of Missouri? What exactly are they basing that definition on?

Oh no…you sorry assed motherfuckers executed the Dark One's master plan out of order! Y'all are fucking up the End of Days...you disorganized minionesque fucks.

If you intend to dominate the state through the influence of the word of Gawd…establish the sovereignty of the word of Gawd first! Hello!?!

Hold it!

Shit.

That won’t work either…because of that pesky thing called separation of church and state that is so very American. Those silly founders noticed a wee little connection between corruption, the church and the utilization of religion to oppress the masses through the weapons of government.

Well, shit…rewind.

None of this shit works.

Makes a bitch wonder if these people aren't just tossing shit up into the fan for fun.

This bitch needs to prepare for the inevitable shit storm...

Chicago!

C-Money has to travel to Chicago on bitness at the end of the month and this bitch is tagging along.

Yeah, baby!

The Bitch Squad's Chicago-based Adventure Preliminary Plans!
A bitch is in charge of finding out what, if any, theatrical happenings are going down. C-Money is all over checking out some museums, shopping, haunting a good jazz club or two and more shopping.

A bitch is broke, so my ass will be doing all of that except the shopping part (wink).

The Sisters of Bitchitude are embarking on a mini-trip!

Any suggestions, my Chicago based brothers and sisters of bitchitude and debauchery?

And now Missouri...

Clarification - The legislation mentioned below in no way currently impacts abortion and reproductive health services in Missouri. This shit ain't law yet and even if that asshole signs it there is a process through which it will be challenged.

For information, advice and options please check out Planned Parenthood/St. Louis Region.


A bitch wasn’t at all surprised that a Missouri senator filed some sort of bill to…you guessed it…ban all abortions in the state. Oh, wow...they worded it just like the bill introduced in Mississippi and the one passed in South Dakota!

Lawd, a bitch might start to think that there’s a conspiracy of sorts unfolding nationally...

For the love of all that is holy, this bitch is beyond disgusted. But shit, if things were the other way around and the Supreme Court had just seated two new fantastically left leaning liberals…well, a bitch would hope someone would introduce a Constitutional Amendment protecting a woman’s right to choose, mandating a national healthcare system to cover all Americans and specifically protecting the individual rights of children as citizens.

Guess it’s all about priorities, huh?

Fuck this fucking shit to hell and back again!

FUCK IT!

Shit.

What the hell can you expect to hear come out of a dawg...but a bark?

As a woman who often volunteers with women who have chosen to have a child…a child sometimes created through rape or incest…this bitch is left physically ill at the thought of government stepping into such a personal decision. The fact that they are doing it behind the cowardly distance of legislation is pathetic.

A bitch wants these motherfuckers to stand up…to look a woman in the eye and tell her that they are just absolutely right and she is just absolutely wrong.

Ready, set and go…again.

A bitch will keep y’all updated on what we can do and what The Man is doing.

Ahhhhh!

This bitch has some good news to share with y’all! C-Money’s mentee, who is the older sister to my mentee, has dramatically improved her attendance and English grade! Congratulations to C-Money! You are a fantabulous big sister…see, a bitch told you my inability to learn geometry was just a fluke and in no way an indication of your tutoring skills! Since this hard working young mentee is a wee bit too young to read a bitch, formal exclamations of joy and encouragement will be showered upon her tomorrow over ice cream.

Moving forward, empowered as a motherfucker…

Ahhhhh!
A bitch read the news that 1 in 1,000 Americans know the five freedoms guaranteed under the First Amendment with some relief.

Hold it! Catch that knee before it jerks! Catch it, for the love of all that's holy!

Now settle down.

This is great news, chil’ren! All this time a bitch has been harboring a secret fear that my fellow Americans understood the freedoms they were willfully handing over to the current administration. Some of these people have jumped up in my comments section to tell a bitch my ass is 'un-American' and 'living in a pre-September 11th world'.

The thought of anyone who understood the freedoms guaranteed to every America actually choosing to flush them down the toilet and ‘trust’ any elected official and his minions made this bitch ill.

Now, the truth is set before us and it is glorious news!

Americans aren’t willfully handing their freedom over to Satan’s helpmate…they're just ignorant as a motherfucker (special thanks to a certain accurate spelling person for pointing out a bitch's error)! And a bitch thinks the ignorantification (wink) of the American citizenry is part of a vast right wing conspiracy to redefine America in the image of Stalinist Russia.

Think about it...No Child Left Behind, Abstinance Education, the removal of art and music from public school curriculums, the banning of books, the attacking of all intellectuals and the utilization of the power of government to punish political enemies.

Mmmhmmm...if it walks like it and smells like it, call it what it is.

These people know that ignorance is the key to their power. A bitch has said it before…an educated voter is a liberal voter!

In the spirit of voter education, the freedoms listed in the First Amendment are… freedom of speech, religion, press, assembly and petition for redress of grievances.

Well, golly...those just happen to be some of the same freedoms under attack right now! What do you make of that, Scooter B.?

Mercy.

We've got some serious work to do...

Locks of Love...

This bitch has to do something my ass hates to do…

Sigh.

A bitch must…gulp…apologize for sending extreme bitchitude into the universe regarding a certain Ann Curry of The Today Show and her hair.

Whew.

Well, her hair does look better short and she has been growing it out without really issuing an explanation! Shit, a bitch just thought she had lost her mind or something. And then my ass started mouthing off about how she shouldn’t grow it out if she’s just going to pull it back and…UGH!!...how was this bitch supposed to know that she was growing her hair out to donate to Locks of Love?

Lawd, a bitch feels slightly shitty…but NBC should have explained to better over the last year.

Anyhoo…a bitch is sorry for all of the bitchy comments my ass has made regarding Ann Curry’s hair. Locks of Love is a fantabulous charity that collects natural hair donations and provides hair pieces for kids undergoing cancer treatment!

But hey, a bitch owned up to it!

As for the mountain of bitchitude this bitch has thrown at Katie Couric…well, that stands. Shit, a bitch has a new television set and Ms. Couric is still orangish-pink. She may actually be that color. Lawd, can you imagine Katie in high definition?

Mercy.

For information about Locks of Love, please visit them here!