Monday, April 10, 2006

Let the midterm rut begin...

Lawd, a bitch’s allergies are out of control! Sneezing, wheezing and then sneezing all over again…when will it stop!

Ugh.

Ahem, as some of you know this bitch has been playing around with a book. A bitch is not a writer by profession, so all of this is relatively new. In fact, my ass had not written anything above and beyond a memo in years until Brother Rob gave me this blog for my birthday a little over a year ago. Suffice it to say, writing is not like riding a bike.

Anyhoo, a bitch has been indulging in a lot of free writing. Basically, my ass just lets shit flow and sees if anything comes of it. It’s actually a lot of fun, but a bitch was beginning to get worried that ‘fun’ wasn’t going to equal ‘book material’.

And then it happened! A bitch was flossing this morning when the ultimate and most amazing inspiration hit me. It was almost religious and my ass frantically wrote down my inspiration…with the closest writing instrument a bitch had at the time….my MAC lip pencil (mahogany, of course).

Fantabulous!

No, a bitch isn’t going to share my book topic…y’all will have to wait and see if my ass actually manages to finfish it (practically writing itself!) and then get it published.

Fuck it. If a bitch can’t find a publisher for this soon to be masterpiece my ass will simply publish it in blog installments and accept payment in the form of Smarties!

Moving forward filled to bursting with inspiration and extreme bitchitude…

A note…
This bitch is waiting for the report on the DNA evidence in the Duke rape case. A bitch is aware that a defense lawyer has been whirling around the news world with claims of pictures that will exonerate his client…the same client that he will not name…the same un-named client that is not being exonerated by these pictures because his lawyer won’t release them until the DNA evidence is made public.

Suffice it to say that the proclamation of exonerating evidence and the presentation of evidence that actually exonerates are radically different things.

We shall see.

Let the midterm rut begin…
A bitch was beyond shocked to read that Senator Talent plans to woo me.

Mmmhmmm, a bitch read it in the papers so it just has to be true!

Yep, our secondary Republican gentleman from Missouri wants this bitch…big time!

No, not like that. Ugh, what a horrific visual.

Senator Talent wants the black vote in Missouri…you silly rabbits.

Gawd, y’all are naughty as a motherfucker! Not that this bitch hasn’t been told that a bitch is one of the best…ummm, voters…out there (wink).

To be honest, Senator Talent just hasn’t announced his interest with authority. Shit, a bitch forgot we had two Senators until Laura Bush skidded to a halt in St. Louis last month to rustle up some cash for Senator Talent under the clever guise of visiting a drug treatment center.

Jesus to Gawd, how much did that shit cost me? Next time the RNC wants to pimp out the First Lady on my tax dime they could at least have the decency not to do it smack in the middle of fucking tax season. A bitch knows exactly how much it cost my ass to fly Laura in for a hat passing ceremony to benefit Talent...unethical motherfuckers.

Anyhoo, this half assed politcal come on being orchestrated by Missouri Republicans is annoying…just like a drunk dial from some ugly motherfucker you already turned down six years ago.

Does Senator Talent really seek a mutually fulfilling political relationship with black voters or is he just trying to get his…ummm, vote…and then run?

A bitch suspects the answer resides in the fact that we only see Senator Talent during the electoral spring-like thaw that accompanies re-election.

Ah, nothing signals the midterm elections like the sight of conservatives sniffing around the black vote...

12 comments:

CP said...

Let a Princess know if a bitch needs a good editor. I've got the hookup for ya! You CAN self publish your book, Bitch. Doesn't cost that much, if you can't get a publishing house to take it. Then again, I don't see them turning ANYTHING you have to offer down!

CP.

air_force1 said...

ABB,

Good luck with the book...I know at least one conservative that will buy it. Also, I think that it is good that you are waiting to see the outcome of the DNA in the Duke case. The probability that these men are guilty is good, however nothing has been proven at this time. We will see.

v/r

Airforce_1

GayProf said...

Wait -- I am confused -- You book is going to be about your Mac lip pencil? Of course, I will buy three copies!

Anonymous said...

You prove on this blog every day that you can write. I look forward to the book regardless of the content.

Anonymous said...

You claim to know exactly how much it costs you to fly Luara Bush in for a hat passing ceremony. As someone that is ever curios about the distribution of tax money I would like to know how you came across that information. I'm not trying to be a nitpicker here, I appreciate your insights and to jump off topic for a sec. I'd like to hear(read) your stance on the Gospel of Judas. Getting back I just took your italisizing of "exactly" to mean you really know it.

CanEragon said...

Hey B.
Self publishing is not cheap. Tried it, And I am hoping to get a house to take my manuscript. I don't see you having a problem publishing anything because you are incredibly well spoken, you are "Smart-ie" and you write with authority and that is why I love to read anything you write. Sure I'd pay in "Smart-ie" currency, but I'd rather Buy your book and have some proceeds going to the causes you are so passionate about.

Anonymous said...

NBC News just reported that no DNA from the lacrosse team matched any DNA from the alleged rape victim. I hope this isn't a case of false rape allegations. How will this affect other victims of rape from coming forward to seek justice?

Can't you see the Rush Limbaugh bigots crowing about Tawana Brawley this and that?

Didn't the woman have a rape screening at the hospital? Wouldn't that have found vaginal abrasions or tearing? Did the woman claim the men used condoms? I would think a gang rape by three men would leave other DNA besides that from semen, like skin cells or pubic hair. Didn't the woman leave broken nails in the bathroom? Were there others at the party besides the lacrosse players? Didn't she identify three players from a photo lineup?

I don't envy that woman once her name is revealed.

Sangroncito said...

I just love a good typo...I hope you "finfish" it, too!

But seriously, you've already proven to be a good writer here on your blog! You can do it!

Rodney said...

Let me know when your book is published. I will sell them out the back of my Buick in the church parking lot and make a KILLING!

I see them lil bastards sniffin' around. I'm just tryin to get out the way before they start liftin legs.

ProfessorGQ said...

good luck with the book!!!

Tracy said...

Waiting excitedly for the book, and hunting for good sources of Smarties in the meantime.

don baird--rockfag said...

i love that the nearest thing to write with was your mac lip pencil! of all the bloggers i read you are clearly the one with the most to say and a refreshing and informed point of view. you write with such a passion and a great sense of humor--the energy just jumps off the screen and fucks with those who need to be called on their shit. you are a writer! a book by you would sell!