A bitch is so glad it’s the weekend!
My ass was going to post about the fucked up budget cuts that just passed the House of Representatives last night…Medicaid, Food Stamps and Financial Aid…but my blood pressure keeps spiking and this bitch may stroke out!
So, a bitch is going to leave that for the weekend.
Thanks for the gravy recipe! A bitch hates making gravy. There’s so much pressure involved and everyone has serious opinions on what is good and what is nasty! Shit. Anyway, a bitch will give it try!
A bitch has been thinking about black people’s hair today…
A bitch relaxed my hair for years. For all of you unfamiliar with black hair care products…a relaxer is a chemical process that straightens the ‘fro. This bitch, being raised by a black mother of a certain age, had my hair straightened as soon as my ass could walk. It used to be straightened with a hot comb…iron comb heated on the stove then run through my hair. Yeah, lots of fucking fun! At the age of 12 a bitch had my first relaxer.
My last relaxer was two weeks before my ass moved back home from Dallas.
If you relax…relax. If you don’t…don’t. A bitch could give a shit. Just don’t stand in front of my ass at the soul food restaurant and flip your relaxed shit at me! You’re lucky a bitch doesn’t snatch it off your head!
Shit, if a bitch wanted a white girl sassy bob my ass would still have a white girl sassy bob! This ‘fro ain’t a mistake, motherfucker! NOTE: A white girl sassy bob was the ideal when a bitch was in high school.
Now…a bitch understands that some people prefer to straighten their hair. Fine…whatever…go with Gawd. This bitch doesn’t give a shit. Just understand that my natural Afro is not an aggressive political statement against your shit.
Back off with that bullshit!
Obviously, a bitch had an incident at Sweetie Pie's today. This bitch got in line to purchase some smothered pork. The woman in front of me had a full head of super relaxed so it didn’t have a single wave in it hair.
Now, why did Miz Thang turn around and look this bitch up and down then flip her hair…twice! What the fuck?
Get this…she then kept running her hand through her hair…which has always freaked me out. This bitch has this thing about people touching their hair constantly then wanting to shake hands…like my ass knows everything a bitch needs to know about your hair. Anyway, she’s flipping and tossing like this is a porn shoot not a soul food joint!
What the fuck?
This bitch walked back to the office thinking…just wear your shit and be happy, heifer.
…’cause you know my ass is happy as a motherfucker with my AFRO!